I'm sorry, I don't feel I gave the Kobe vs. Karl thing enough comment last night. I was rushed because I wanted to see the start of Desperate Housewives. I'm going to go through my thoughts on the three people involved....Karl, Kobe, and Mrs. Bryant.
Karl: He's gotta be pissed. I mean, let's recap the last two years of this guys life. He finishes his like 16th season with the Jazz. Only team he's ever played for, and he is the unquestioned all time greatest player in franchise history. So of course, they choose not to re-sign him. So now he's gotta find a new place to play. He gets a call from Gary Payton, who is also looking for a place to play. They both decide to take HUGE paycuts to pay for the Lakers. They made around 10 percent of their salaries the year before. That would be like me getting 71 cents an hour next year to work for the Beavers. That is amazing. All in hopes of winning a championship. Then Kobe, one of the guys he's signed to play with, goes all teenager (surprise!) and cheats on his wife and gets in legal trouble over it. So now there's this cloud. Then....he gets hurt for the first time in his career. Now he's gotta watch games for the first time ever. Then the team self destructs and flops in the finals. So then Shaq and Payton gets traded, Phil Jackson is let go, and it's made completely evident that the new name of the team is the Los Angeles Kobe Bryant's. So then him and Kobe get in this pissing match through the media. Man he's gotta wish he just retired two years ago as the greatest power forward of all time. Now he's the guy who hunts mexican girls. Good one.
Kobe: Dude, grow up. You just threw a temper tantrum so big that you caused FOUR HALL OF FAMERS TO LEAVE THE ORGANIZATION!!! And he expects to win at the same clip he has been? C'mon man. I don't think anyone's been on that big of a power trip ever. What's even more ridiculous is that the owner bought into this. I honestly don't think that Kobe will win another championship with the Lakers. My guess is pulls an A-Rod and gets upset with a situation he created and finds a way out of it. He'll go to a team with (surprise!) a few other legitimate superstars and wins a few more championships. Also, by being the most famous adulterer in the world at the moment, I think he's given up all right to be mad at anyone else for inappropriate comments. This is a guy who admitted to cheating on his wife. That was basically his defense against A RAPE CHARGE. Real stand up guy. You deserve everything you get right now. The losses, the unhappy gold digging wife, the upset teammates, the fan backlash. All of it. You suck.
Mrs. Vanessa Bryant: First off, she's like 20 and I'm calling her Mrs. That's whack in and of itself. Secondly, as much as I hate to admit it, she may be the smartest person in this whole situation. Nobody would know her name had she not married the koab-ster. To borrow a line from Sir Mix-a-lot, she found herself a "big buff dumbass fool with hella money." So now she's rich, never has to go to college and can live off her husband's money for life. I could be wrong about this....but I'm thinking love probably wasn't the deciding factor in her decision to marry Kobe. Just a guess. So now, her husband who she doesn't love cheats on her. Humiliates her by making her sit on stage while he admits to cheating on her. Who has all the power in this relationship now? Kobe can't dump her, he'd be ostracized. So he buys her a $4 million "i'm sorry" gift. And apparently it worked cause she didn't divorce him. Call me crazy, but if my rich wife was charged with raping a towel boy on vacation, then admitted to consensual sex with him, I'd probably get a divorce. It's pretty clear he wasn't thinking about her while he was in this situation. But she probably signed a pre-nup and realized she'd be losing the life she loves. But she also knows that Kobe's now her bitch. So she flirts with Karl. She says 'hey cowboy, what ya huntin?' This is why I hate saing she's the smartest person in the situation. What do cowboys hunt? Cows? Who hunts cows? Malone wasn't wearing a coonskin cap carrying a bear trap. The Mailman was not wearing a bright orange vest and sitting in a tree stand in Wisconsin. He didn't even have a fishing pole (fishing could be considered hunting by some people I guess.) He's wearing a cowboy hat. Amazing. It's a blantant friendly flirting, like saying "hey beautiful, lookin good!" to a close friend of the opposite sex. So when he responds with a comment equally flirtateous (and retarded), that's to be expected right? Well, not if the spotlight on your life is starting to dim. She could've shrugged it off, but instead, she tells Kobe, then probably makes him defend her honor. This is brilliant. Not only does she keep herself in the spotlight, but she gets to boss Kobe around. For someone so dumb, she's pretty smart.
In other news, I'm writing this at work, so you can imagine how busy it is today. I've got to work the game tonight, so it's going to be a loooong day. Might be another post or two before the day is done, so stay posted.
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