This is how we do it

Thursday shaped up about how I thought it would...FREAKIN SWEET!


It was great going out with Joel, JR and Grant. The key to going out I've found is to go out early so you can get a couch to sit on at Headline. If you don't, you're stuck body to body with people downstairs at the bar. It's much more fun to watch people body to body at the bar. The highlight of the night for me was JR getting so hammered that before he fell asleep he told me that he hated the NBA because "hundreds of years ago our ancestors gave all their money to these guys and they got greedy." I also got my first taste of Club Platinum. Basically it should be called Club Sweaty Basement. Nothing special, basically a place to try and impress people by wearing something really trendy and show off your dance moves you learned from watching the new Lil' Jon video.

We ended up picking up Brad Baldwin along the way. A plus that he drove, since we all walked. Although getting 5 grown men in an '97 Mercury Lynx (a poor man's Ford Escort) was comical. Was about the second most uncomfortable I've ever been in a car, trailing only the time that Steve, JR, Joel and I were cruising in JR's Mom's Volkswagon Cabrio that had a license plate holder saying bluntly, "I hate Barbie, that bitch has everything." Felt very uncool that night.

Rachel and I went to Lincoln City for the day today and ate at Mo's. There's something great about being able to just head to the coast for the day. It's something a majority of the country can't do. I get a very good feeling eating my lunch watching seagulls fly over the ocean.

I went to a women's basketball game tonight. OSU lost by 20. I came home thinking "the men's games are more fun to go to because they're competitive." Checked the scores: The men lost by 25. So much for that. Usually when the game is a snooze, I can watch the cheerleaders and at least get some enjoyment out of the game. But I noticed something today...the cheerleaders look disgusting. They're really short, no curves, and they look like they could wear a LIVESTRONG bracelet around their thigh and it still might be loose. It's like watching a UNICEF commercial out there. No wonder those athletically challenged male cheerleaders can fling them around with ease.

Darius Miles got benched by the Blazers for calling his coach Maurice Cheeks a racial slur. These guys call each other racial slurs for fun, don't they? I was under the impression that it was socially acceptable for people of the same race to playfully refer to each other by racial slurs in an attempt to trivialize the damage that the word can inflict when said by someone of another race. So basically, if you say a racial slur in a moment of anger, it's bad. If you say a racial slur with a smile on your face, it's ok? I'm confused.

That's all I've got for now. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Unless your heart is absent for too long....then you die.

Birthday wishes

When the teachers called Nelly's name in middle school during roll, did he say "Hurrrrrr?"


Happy birthday to Joel. He's 26, and he's gonna spend the night covering a women's basketball game and then hitting the college bars with JR, Grant and me. Aside from Grant, we all qualify for the 25 & older lounge at any college. It'll be a hoot. Joel's birthday always carries special significance for me. His birthday always hovers around the Super Bowl, and as a result, many of his birthday parties were also Super Bowl parties. Who can forget playing NCAA basketball on the Super Nintendo. Wake Forest had some guy that never missed 3's. I think I scored 80 points with him one game. Or watching Denver lose 55-10. Or me throwing down a dunk so hard that I broke Stuart's basketball hoop? Or catching a pass in the annual halftime touch football game, turning upfield and getting tackled by Joel's mom's rare Japanese tree. That was the last super bowl party I was invited to. I was banned from his house for life that day. True story. I've only been to his house a few times since, and every time I think his mom watches me with an evil all-seeing eye.

I finally broke down and paid for MP3 Downloading. I'm pleased as punch with this though. When someone says something that reminds me of Pimp Juice, I want to be able to download Nelly. When Rachel hears a song on The OC, she should be able to download it without paying $16.99 for the whole cd. Some songs aren't even available on cd's. Some Afroman songs aren't even on CD's. Thus the necessity for downloading music. So I'll gladly pay $48 a year for this service.

today's shaping up to be a great day. I've got a basketball game tonight, downloading obscure music, The OC, Joel's birthday.....On the potential scale, today gets a 10.5.

If don't aim for the stars, you can never land in the clouds. But if you pick a weak cloud, you'll land on the ground. Hard. That's a long fall.

Can ya dig it?

Thankfully, Rachel has assured me that the pain I'm having in my chest is more likely a strained intercostal muscle than a heart related issue. Phew.


The search for a job continues. It's hard when you know what you want to do, but that job is not available to you. I want to work for Oregon State in the Beaver Athletic Student Fund. Basically help raise money for the athletic department. I think I'd be good at it, and I would enjoy it. Unfortunately, there are no positions available. Even if one comes available, I'm not sure I would get it, based on what happened to me last time I applied for a job with them. I'm still in shock that I got a letter of recommendation from the lady who runs the BASF and I didn't get the job. Ridiculous. Last I heard, they might be adding someone in March, and she was going to keep me in mind. Don't know if she meant it. I'd like to think she did. But I realize that things don't always work out the way you think they should. So I'm stuck applying for jobs I'm not entirely interested in, and trying to motivate myself to apply and actively pursue these jobs. Not exactly an easy task, especially for me.

Did anyone catch Leroy on American Idol last night? That guy was awesome! He came in c-walking with a posse. Who does that? His whole idea was to be so entertaining that the judges would overlook the fact that he couldn't sing and give him a free trip to hollywood just to keep people watching the show. Not a bad idea actually. The guy got himself on national tv in a singing contest just by being a complete crackhead. He was stomping, clapping, telling Simon that "if he didn't put Jesus first, nothing mattered." Then he told everyone to "get crunk." He had a bunch of gold and platinum in his teeth, but he had false teeth covers or something that looked regular that he put in the for the show. He took them out and said "deez are my crunk teeth. Deez are fo' tv, (puts his regular teeth back in) and deez are fo' yo' mamma and daddy." It was hilarious. That is what I watch American Idol for...not the talent. The lack of talent. Awesome.

Alright, I'm out......Love is a many splendored thing....unless the one you love is splendoring someone else.

Ready for the good times

I just got done watching 8 Mile. Good movie. Although I think the moral of the movie is that if you live in a trailer park and work at a dead end job, the best thing you can do is become a super talented rapper who just happens to be a bit of a novelty so you get noticed.


Rachel started to feel better...maybe it's because she slept for 15 of the last 24 hours. I think she might've got me a little sick too, didn't exactly feel 100% this afternoon. Might just be me being paranoid though. I'm a big believer that if you think you're getting sick, you're probably gonna get sick. So if you don't act sick, you probably won't get sick. Now excuse me while I take some Theraflu and drink a Gatorade.

Courtney Carter stopped by today. One of the genuine nice people in this world. She recently had surgery on her leg to straighten out the bones. She broke her leg playing soccer about a year and a half ago or so, and has had a myriad of problems since then. This latest surgery was actually to correct what they messed up the last time. Well you know how when people break their neck, they get a halo strapped on them and holes drilled in their skull and stuff? Well picture one of those contraptions on her leg. It was amazing. She had something like 5 pins drilled into her tibia and another three that went through the bottom of the fubula and tibia. Then she has some computer program that she uses to tell her how to calibrate this contraption so that it actually straightens the bones in her leg. Looked like the most painful thing I have ever seen. She seemed to be doing alright with it though.

Did anyone else catch the guy on sportscenter today singing this song about the Philadelphia Eagles and when it got to the part where the spell out Eagles, he spelled it E-L-G-L-E-S? This is what happens when people get too into sports. Another guy was on the radio saying how he cried for hours last night he was so happy that the Eagles won. I wonder what that guy is going to do Super Bowl Sunday when the Patriots dismantle the Eagles and win by like 27 or something. Is he going to cry for hours that night.....or is he going to do something worse? Is he going to burn his neighbors house down? Is he going to run screaming out of the house and in his blind fury get struck by a taxi? Is he going to call in sick to work the next day because he's so distraught? I'd like to hear that conversation. "Hi boss, I don't think I'll be able to make it into work today...I'm not feeling so good." "Oh yeah, what's wrong? Stomach? Headache?" "Naw it's my heart boss. The Eagles, the loss.......I can't talk about this anymore. I'll see you tomorrow." Some people just take things too far. Like crying when you find out that your favorite member of N'Sync is dating Topanga from Boy Meets World, or getting a tattoo of a girl's name that you just met a few weeks ago.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Remember never to frown, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. Unless you're missing more teeth than you have remaining

What's goin on in the world today?

Why is that talking in ebonics makes you sound cool, but writing in ebonics makes you look illiterate?


Me an mah peeps roll tru da hood lookin for da spot to bus' a cap in a foo'.

Anyways....Rach is sick today so I've become her caretaker for the day. Being sick for her sucks because now she's gonna stress out all day that Tama is going to lose all control of the classes, or worse. I can't imagine feeling that I needed to go to work because if I didn't the job wouldn't get done right. I suppose this is how dad feels sometimes when he leaves us out in the fields to bale hay when he's got something else to do.

I was sad to see that Johnny Carson died yesterday.....not because I felt any special bond to him....I can only remember watching one or two episodes of the Tonight Show when he was on it. But I think because he seemed like such a genuine person. I wonder what it is about certain celebrities that endears them to us. Rachel feels that way about John Travolta. I guess I know who we'll be drinking to on Joel's birthday.

Speaking of which, Joel's turning 26 on Thursday. While it may not make him feel old, it certainly makes me feel old. I went to see "In Good Company" yesterday. Topher Grace's character is 26, he's already divorced, drives a Porche and is head of ad sales for national sports magazine. When I'm 26, I'll be lucky to be making 12 bucks an hour. Looking back, there's definitely things I wish I would've done differently. Had I graduated when I was supposed to, I'd be 3 years into a job now. Although chances are good that if I'd graduated then, I'd have never met Rachel. That's the shitty thing about time travel. In order to change the bad things about your life, you inadvertently change the change the good things. I think I'll stick with what I got.

The livejournal community that has grown around Joel and me is great. Grant's starting to update more, Kate and Juli, Heidi...all journal writers. Joel has this grandiose plan to get more and more people involved and start these great discussions and whatnot. While I think it's a little far fetched, it's not a bad idea. I had a friend of mine from High School contact me via the livejournal. Hadn't heard from her since graduation. Livejournal: It's not just for depressed loners to write morbid song lyrics and talk about cutting themselves anymore.

That's all I have for now and remember a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush....unless the bird is scared and scratches the hell out of your hands with its talons, then I'd rather have a whole bushful of birds.

Look, a gas pump! Let's chain ourselves to it!

Yesterday was President Bush's inaguration. Congrats to him winning the election. I wonder what would happen if everytime someone was elected to an office the people under his power went crazy like this. The whole world would explode.


"The Portland Trailblazers just named Hubie Brown coach. Immediately follwing his press conference, Darius Miles, Zach Randolph, and Qyntel Woods held a press conference of their own saying that they would be wearing the road black uniforms for every game this season in protest, and may boycott shooting the basketball. Zach said the shooting boycott may only be temporary though."

"In protest of the hiring of a new department of transportation chief, traffic signal operators vowed to change all the lights in Portland to green at the same time in protest. Asked when this would happen, the operators replied "it's a surprise."

Protesters in Portland last night took over a Chevron station and chained themselves to gas pumps in protest. As if sniffing noxious fumes causing a nuisance is going to get anything done. Eventually people will realize that there's a right way and a wrong way to go about these things. I'm not politically savvy, but I'm pretty sure there are pathways within the system in place to remove a president from power. Nowhere in the constitution or any other legal document does it say giving yourself a bath in techron supreme will get the job done.

A policeman interviewed on the news last night said "This was not a well thought-out protest. Chaining yourself to something that can blow you up is not the best course of action." Amen, brother.

Call me old fashioned, but whatever happened to accepting the hand you've been dealt? When you lose, you shake hands and prep for the next meeting. You don't throw a fit and refuse to play anymore. I may not agree with George Bush on everything, but he's been elected leader and as a result, I'm gonna support him. I'm not bashing all democrats or putting all republicans on a pedestal by any means. Plenty of people who voted for Kerry spent yesterday like any other day, going about their business as usual...but it's no wonder that the country isn't exactly "clicking on all cylinders" right now - there's a large group of people that feel that their time would be better spent complaining and disrupting other people's daily life.

Return of the Snacks

Scattershooting while wondering what exactly scattershooting means......


I'm back in the ticket office. Which means I have plenty of time to file another entry.

My official job tonight is to answer the phones if they ring. Since we're only open because there is a game tonight, I'm really just an information source. I'm not selling anything over the phone....so basically the only calls I'm going to get are "what time is the game?" or "where is Gill Coliseum?" or "how much is parking?" Those are the big 3. Real fun night I'm in for. Seems like a waste of money to pay me to be here, when they could just set a recording on with all pertinent information. I'm not complaining though...I've made $1.75 since I logged in!

The Blazers-Cavs game was great last night. $10 to see an NBA game is almost a steal. If I lived in Portland, I'd go to a game a week I think. I can now tell everyone that I was there the night LeBron got is first triple-double. Most people won't be impressed, but it's still great to say I was there.

Some more thoughts about the game:

*It was "Hardwood Classics" night, with teams wearing 1970's jerseys. While in line to get tickets, Dad asked if that meant they'd be wearing 1970's style shorts. If it weren't for the fact that 90% of the players probably would refuse to play in thigh-length, tight shorts, this would be a great idea. Imagine the hilarity of Shaq in some shorts that would make Daisy Duke proud. Or some guy who is more concerned about his image than anything, like Kobe Bryant or Tracy McGrady. Extremely amusing.

*Dad's great to go to games with. He asks questions like "now where do you think they store that blimp?" and "When did a free throw become such a hard shot?"

*The highlight of the game might've been the contest they had between two fans where they had to identify a 70's tv show theme song. Between the two of them, they got a whopping zero correct. Which wouldn't be bad if the shows were short lived or unrecognizable. But the themes from Bonanza, Hawaii 5-0 and The Brady Bunch are so well known in today's society that someone who was born after those series ended can ID them. These contestants were so out of it, the PA announcer at one point said "hey someone poke Debbie with a stick and make sure she's still alive." As they got booed off the court (yes, these fans were booed off the court) the PA guy implored "what were you guys doing during the 70's?" Dad snickers and says disgustedly "smoking too much weed. Who doesn't know the fucking Brady Bunch?"

********

It figures that I'd stay up til 4 am the night before I had a rec league basketball game at Timberhill. I wouldn't have stayed up that late had I known. Thanks for the heads up Pat. If I fall asleep during a free throw, don't blame me.

I saw that the tsunami death toll is now officially 225,000. Imagine if an earthquake happened directly under the Rose Bowl, destroyed it and everyone died. There's a huge outpouring of support and goodwill, and within the year, the stadium is rebuilt and the game is played again. And another earthquake hits with the same devastaion. That still wouldn't equal the amount of people killed by this wave of water. Absolutely incredible, and equally as tragic.

I just saw a guy with a shirt that said "Cesca Sucks," with a line through Cesca and "Serna" written underneath it. This is a stab at the current and former kickers of OSU, who have both lost key games for us over the past few years. Nobody thinks about how many they've won for us during that same stretch. We might've been the only team not named San Jose State to lose to Washington had it not been for Serna's heroics. Cut the guy some slack. When this douchebag with the t-shirt botches a sandwich at his job at Subway, nobody shows up the next day with a "don't get a sandwich from this bitch." Get a life.

That's all I got. If you don't know what you've got 'til its gone, did you ever really have anything?

When I die go bury me and my notebooks in Cairo

I scorekept for Grant's intramural basketball games last night. I might not do that again. It sucks....the whole time I wanted to be playing. Especially when they got their ass kicked in the first game. Perhaps my favorite part of that game was overhearing this conversation between two guys on the other team.


Guy 1: Why does he (referring to Grant) shoot 3's from so deep? He's not that good of a shooter."
Guy 2: Yeah he is...just wait.

Grant proceeded to hit his next two threes without touching the rim. That's my dog.

The second game was much more entertaining. They played a pitiful team consisting of 5 guys that tried out for Napoleon Dynamite and got cut for being too geeky. One guy was so confused on the court he committed 4 CONSECUTIVE fouls for his team before cussing at the ref and getting a technical for his 5th and final foul.......6 MINUTES INTO THE GAME! I've never seen anything like it. Every time the whistle blew, the ref would waddle over (he's kind of a pudgy guy) and say "11 red on the arm." Like clockwork. I couldn't believe it. Neither could anyone else when I said "that's 5, he's out." That left the Dynamite rejects with only 4 amigos....so an off duty referee stepped in and played the rest of the game. He instantly made their team respectable. Grant's team ended up winning by 19 or something. Would've been more, but the spent the entire second half trying to set up Chris Callaghan for a dunk. To quote Grant: "Getting Callaghan a dunk is like trying to get a pair of unicorns on the ark." This absolutely captured the moment.

I'm off to Portland today to watch the Blazers play the Cavs. I really hated myself for not going to see Roy Jones Jr. box when he came to Portland. I'm not missing LeBron. I missed the best boxer of our generation, I'm not going to miss the best basketball player. I've seen Pedro Martinez pitch (twice) Barry Bonds hit a 500 ft HR in Colorado, The original dream team play hoops at the Tournament of the Americas in '92. I cherish these moments, and I look forward to telling my kids and my grandkids "I remember watching those guys do their thing in person."

That's all I have today. Live each day like you're dying.....unless you're dying of some debilitating disease that renders you bedridden. That wouldn't be a very fun day. Somebody get Tim McGraw on the horn.....

I wish I was in Tijuana, eating barbequed Iguana

Last night was the annual ticket office holiday party. I went, although I barely work there anymore. It's about the only time I get to see my boss Matt relaxed. He's a lot of fun when he's relaxed. The rest of the time, he's too uptight and stressed out to talk to any of us. But it was a good time bowling and joking around with him. He watches The OC too, so we had some good laughs about the show.

I guess I should preface this story by saying that apparently I was supposed to work a gymnastics meet last Friday. I got a phone call about an hour prior to the meet from Shannon asking me where I was. I didn't answer, knowing full well what it was. I'm not going to show up to work an event that I had no prior knowledge I was working. Well today, when I show up to the party Luann says "we were all worried about you, you know." I look at her kind with a confused look and say "you were?" And she's like, well yeah, you didn't show up for work Friday, and nobody's heard from you all weekend. I said "well one I didn't even know I was working last Friday, and apparently you weren't that worried because nobody called back or sent me an email or anything." She kind of shut up after that. I was amused.

Other highlights involved me slipping on the bowling lane and going ass over tea-kettle as my ball flew into the gutter, Jeanne doing the same thing on her next turn, and the conversation that Pam, Shannon and I had about the show "Lost." it went something like this:

Pam: So there's polar bears on the island?
Me: Yeah.
Pam: I thought it was a desert island
Me: Well, tropical, but yeah.
Pam: How can they do that? How do the bears survive?
Me: Well, it's a tv show, Pam.
Shannon: So how does the show work
Me: Well they're all trapped on the island, and the show basically shows their life on the island, mixed in with flashbacks to their lives before the island and how they came to be on the plane that crashed.
Shannon: There was a plane crash?
Me: Yeah, that's how the got to the island.
Shannon: So they didn't know the plane was going to crash?
Me: Ummmmmmm no.........none of them are psychic to my knowledge.
Shannon: Why would you sign up for a show that involved crashing a plane?
Me: What?
Shannon: I think these reality shows are going too far
Me (finally realizing that Pam and Shannon aren't completely retarded): Oooooohhhhhh! No it's not a reality show, it's a drama.

One of the strangest conversation I've ever had.

Alright I'm off on another fun day of job hunting and GTA. Holla at your boy!

We need our crowd

"We need our crowd." This was a David Lucas quote in this morning's Gazette Times. Maybe this is the problem with our team. They only seem to be able to play to the best of their abilities when there's 10,000 people screaming for them. I guess I'm old fashioned in thinking that people should play for themselves, not for the adulation they get from Joe Ticketholder. Now I can't say that the whole team feels this way, but when your team leader feels that way, it's going to have a trickle-down effect. Granted it's always better to have more people in the crowd than not, but to say that you need them? I don't think that sends a very good message. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you need an audience to get the most out of yourself, that doesn't say much about you.


Whenever I state an opinion like that, it always makes me think "do you live up to your own expectations?" More often than not, the answer is no. I know that I crave attention and that I love it when someone notices the effort I put in to something. Sometimes I'll half ass my way through something because there's no reward. But I do take pride in doing things right. That's why I've always given my best at work regardless of the fact that nobody seemed to take notice. The only thing they noticed was that I wasn't doing anything because I'd finished what they'd already given me. And then I'm lazy. Not effective, lazy. Nonetheless, I didn't slack off on any job they gave me, I always did them to the best of my abilities. By the way, that 37 page procedures manual they had me do last summer that HAD to be done before the first of July - it still hasn't been printed or distributed to the new interns. Yeah I'm bitter that I put a lot of work into that thing so it could collect space on a hard drive, but the point is that I didn't put out a 37 page pile of crap. It's 37 pages of useful information that I put a lot of work into. Not because I wanted people to say "great job Andy, we couldn't have done this without you."

Joel and I spent a lot of time last night browsing through random livejournals. It seems like 80% of the journals belonged to people with serious emotional issues. People who had a difficult time coping with everyday life. I don't feel that way, but I wonder if they feel that way about themselves. Do they go to sleep at night going "man I'm really fucked up?" I know I don't. Yet we all end up on livejournal. I don't know what this means, but it's interesting to me.

Two nights ago, I had dream. Mark Odom was in it. I haven't seen or thought about Mark in at least a year. The next day, I see Mark Odom at Safeway. Yet he shows up in my dream one night and then I see him the next day. I dont' know what this means, but it's interesting to me. Of course Mark wasn't at Safeway in my dream. We were at the restaurant Sweet Tomatoes bitching about how the only thing on the menu was turkey sandwiches. But I've come to the conclusion that I can no longer just dismiss my dreams as a bunch of gibberish. If I have a dream that my dead grandmother is telling me something, I will be forced to listen, because I have to at least entertain the possibility that it really is my grandmother telling me something. Maybe it's evidence of a higher power, maybe it's evidence that we as humans have abilities that we do not yet fully understand and can't control.

More random thoughts

*If I were stuck in a room with Steve, Ali, Nick and Kimber, which couple would annoy me more?


*Why did I not give more ink to JR and Joel tackling each other into a puddle in a drunken stroll down the street last weekend?

*If potato chips are so bad for you, why do they taste so good?

*It's really annoying to watch your college team lose by 40 points and have your girlfriend walk into the room, look at the score, and say "awwww honey I'm sorry." This really makes it worse.

*It's even more annoying when your girlfriend's favorite team has a 38 game home winning streak extended by scoring 11 straight points in the final minute and a half of their game the next day.

*My cell phone battery was just recalled because it "may or may not be counterfeit" according to Kyocera. How would a counterfeit battery make its way into a prepackaged cellphone? I didn't buy the battery seperately. Whatever though, I'm getting a new free battery, so I'm not complaining.

*Is there money in counterfeiting cell phone batteries?

*By the time the New England-Indianapolis game comes on, I'll have already watched 3.5 straight hours of sports. I'm kind of sick of watching tv, but now the game I really want to watch is on. Why does this always happen?

*Is playing on the road really that much tougher than playing at home? You're still running the same plays and against the same teams. It's not like they strap a weight vest to you or make you wear really uncomfortable shoes.

*Some guy dove from the six yard line in a pre-touchdown celebration in yesterday's East-West Shrine Game. He ended up six inches short, then got a 15 yard excessive celebration penalty. Stupid right? How about the fact that this guy essentially long jumped 18 feet wearing full football gear and carrying a football? That's some talent.

*Watched Troy last night. Good movie, although a few things bothered me. They showed like 4 or 5 different body burnings. This apparently was some sort of funeral ritual for important people back in the day. So I understand why they were burning all these bodies, but did they have to go through the whole ritual every time? Wouldn't showing the body aflame from afar for a few seconds have been enough, rather than showing a grief stricken relative or warrior placing coins on the eyes, looking to the skies for an answer, then lighting the fire, crawling off the burning pile and then a close up of the dead guy's face as the flames intensify around him. Could've cut at least 8 or 10 minutes off of a marathon movie.

Random ramblings

So today I went to Safeway to buy milk and bananas. It made me feel healthy. And I'm sure the checker was thinking "wow, he's gonna eat some bananas and have a glass of milk." I always wonder what people think when you buy things at the store. If you get a whole cartload of stuff everything goes largely unnoticed, but in the express lane, you tend to think everything's related. Like if you saw someone buying a loaf of bread, two Snickers, a pineapple, and some Drano you'd probably go "what the hell kind of shopping trip is that?" Or if you bought a gallon of ice cream and an onion. Everyone's gonna think "boy that's a weird combination, ice cream and onions." Of course they're not related, other than the fact that you're buying them simultaneously. I think someone should test this out....it could be a great hidden camera show. People go into supermarkets, pick out random stuff, and you record the checkers reactions. I think it could work.

This reminds me of the time in Colorado when I went to the supermarket to buy a pint of ben and jerry's ice cream, a bag of gummy bears, and a box of lucky charms - You know, the usual. Well I walk up to the counter and there's this lady in front of me with all of her groceries in her arms. And she had a lot. Like a gallon of milk, a carton of OJ, some bread, a few cans of beans or something and a couple other things. I've forgotten exactly, but she had what was almost an unmanageable load of groceries. So she dumps it all on the conveyor belt and lets out this huge sigh of relief. The checker goes "boy you just made it there Denise." The town of Fraser, Colorado isn't very big. Everyone knows everyone. Well, me being me, I just can't keep my mouth shut, so I blurt out "you know they have these things called carts now, they're really helpful." This lady is about twice my age....I'd guess around 45. So she looks at me and goes "is that a fact?" And I say "Yeah, experience has taught me those things can be helpful." And she looks at me and goes "you know what experience has taught me?" At this point I figure she's either gonna tell me to mind my own fucking business or hit me, and I instantly regret ever opening my mouth. But nooooo, she goes "I've learned that sometimes you have to take advice from people who are only twenty years old. And as she said those last three words, she slapped me on the ass in unison with each word. Three slaps. One she could've gotten away with. Two I would've dismissed as being friendly. The third one was scary. As in "you should let me teach you a few things, junior." At this point, I lost my smart-assedness (probably because my ass smarted! Good god I amuse myself) and turned red and just kind of stood there with this stupid look on my face that was part shock, part amusement and part terror. She paid for her groceries, gave me a wink and left. I think I ended up giving my ice cream to Kindra, because I suddenly didn't feel like eating anything.

The point is.....the supermarket is not for conversation. Don't strike up a conversation. I don't care what the people are getting, or what they're doing. Let them do it and be quiet.

can't touch this

What a weekend. Friday was pretty uneventful, although The Sandlot was on tv. I swear I'm gonna buy that movie one of these days. It's a damn shame that I don't have it yet. Probably one of my 5 favorite movies of all time.


Saturday saw me working a women's basketball game. We got torched. I used to like going to women's games, because either I had a crush on one (or a few) of the players, or I was friends with them. Those days are gone though. I guess Grant's still friends with Casey, but I never see her anymore. Mandy and I stopped being friends I guess when our class schedules no longer overlapped. Maybe that means we were never friends to begin with. Oh well. Brooks Hatch wrote a column in the Gazette Times yesterday calling for Coach Spolestra's firing. Grant, Joel and I have been saying this for a while. Glad that someone with a voice for these things finally spoke up.

After the women's game, Grant and I ran to the store and got some burger meat and chips for dinner. Our plan was to have people over to watch the Men's game on tv. In the past, whenever we've tried to round up a group of people for something like this, it's never worked. Rachel had her doubts, and so did I. But JR, Gjurg, Sarah and Jackie came through. Joel bailed, but he had a legit reason. No hard feelings there. All in all it was pretty fun, even though the guys lost. We played pretty well, especially for us on the road. If we had rebounded, we might've had a chance.

Then it was off to the bars. I think the last time I went to the bars was six months ago or something. Kellie and Joel met up with us at Clod's and good times were had by all. Grant tried to walk across the table at one point. The guy that worked there wasn't too happy and tried to act tough and get all bullish with Grant. Grant dismissed him and I think the guy's pride was hurt. It was a pretty amusing exchange. Other highlights included the girl in sweatpants that was so drunk she looked like she may fall asleep standing up, and JR threatening to beat a guy up for not shaking my hand. JR would later say "you can do a lot of shit, but you don't fuck with Andy or Grant and get away with it around me." That's my dogg.

I think I ended up getting to bed around 5am, making Sunday a complete wash. Grant successfully went 24 hours without putting a shirt on, and I ate fast food for 3 meals. Well lunch was actually leftover burgers and chips from the night before, but it was pretty much on the same level. A long day of watching football and playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Pretty entertaining game. I discovered that you could make CJ (the main character) strip down to his underwear and play the game like that. Let me tell you....seeing a large tattoo'ed gangbanger in a green bandana and tidy whiteys try to orchestrate a drug deal with two Mexicans is funnier than you'd think. Hard to take a guy looking like that seriously when he says stuff like "Don't disrespect me cholo!" I had a good chuckle about that before putting a full outfit on the guy before it got weird. It's ok to laugh at a thug in undies for a while, but if you do it too long.....well that's just weird.

So today is going to be filled with more Grand Theft Auto and job applications. Oh, and I need to organize my closet and get all my old clothes ready to go to Goodwill.

Where everybody knows your name

Today Grant and I went to The Chippery for lunch. I haven't been there for at least 4 or 5 months. Walked in, and the lady who owns the joint goes "hey, haven't seen you in here for a while, how's everything going?" I don't know what I did to win this lady over, but she seems to genuinely appreciate that I go in there. I order, and she asks what kind of chips I'd like. Then she gives me an overloaded bag and says "if you guys need more, just let me know." I have now decided that whenever someone wants to go out to lunch, my first choice is always going to be The Chippery. What a great place. I highly recommend it to anyone.


That's all. Enjoy your weekend.

I had a mink on she had one too

Just got done watching The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Grant got me the special edition 4 disc set for Christmas. The goddamn thing is 4 hours long! Took me two days to watch the whole thing. Ridiculous. Good, but ridiculous. Much like when I saw it in the theater, I had to pee for the last hour of the movie and kept wondering why the hell it wasn't ending. They'd saved middle earth and crowned Viggo Mortensen as their king, we didn't need to tie up any other loose ends! Just let me pee for God's sake.


Got another letter telling me that I was not selected for the next step in the hiring process today. Those things never fail to make you feel like less of a person. The thing that really gets my goat (love that saying.....I might get a goat just so I can say somebody got my goat and mean it) is that I know I stand a much better chance of getting the job if I get interviewed. I really think that I'm better in person than I am on paper. My resume doesn't do me justice. Working summers driving a tractor for your dad isn't exactly the job experience that people are looking for. I'm still really bitter that I didn't get that first job that I applied for back in October at the OSU Foundation.....I know that I was the best person for that job. The fact that I found out they hired a real awkward guy that doesn't really fit in irritates me to this day. Plus if I would've been hired for that one, I'd be trying to figure out how to squeeze in hours at the boys and girls club to complete my degree right now rather than trying to figure out how I'm going to pay rent next month.

Rachel went to bed at 9pm tonight. I got to stay up later than that when I was in 3rd grade. I don't know how she does it - work at a job that makes her so tired her nights consist of eating, showering, and heading to bed. I don't think I could do it, and I definitely marvel at her motivation at times. Makes me wonder where I could be right now if I had put half as much into my classes as I put into having fun.

Living in domestica

So let's recap my day so far...

9 a.m. - wake up
9:15 a.m. - play Xbox
10:00 a.m - take laundry over to laundry room
10:15 a.m. - apply for job online
10:45 a.m. - transfer laundry from washers to dryers
11:00 a.m - chat

Pretty stellar, eh? I think this afternoon I'll run the dishwasher and maybe vaccuum. You know how I do.

Today actually marks the 18 month mark in my relationship with Rachel. Probably going "oh lord, he knows the exact date." Well, when you count from the 4th of July, it makes it easy. Pretty impressive, considering this is 9 times longer than any previous relationship I've had. We're celebrating by going to dinner and a movie tonight. Shows how times have changed. National championship football game on, and I'm going to dinner and a movie. And not even a sports bar and an action movie. Noooooo. I can admit it....I'm a little whipped. But then again, I think that's what a relationship is: mutual whippedness. At least a good relationship. My brother's whipped. He's cool with it. My dad's whipped. He might be a little too whipped, but whatever. He's happy.

Two years ago, if you'd have told me that there was an Xbox game called Dance Dance Revolution, and what you did was dance on this pad according to arrows that show up on the screen, I'd have said "that is the dumbest idea ever." Yet there I was last night, eagerly waiting my turn to dance around in my bedroom while Grant did his thing to a song called "Moonlight Shadow." This may become a nightly thing with me, Rach and Grant. It's so fun, why I don't know. Grant got the idea to wear ankle weights while dancing.....could be onto something here.

Oh, and I need to publicly say thank you to my aunt and uncle for their generous unemployment check to me. They called it a christmas present, I call it rent for the next few months. Thanks again!

lol

I just was perusing old emails and found an old dream of mine that I wrote down. Enjoy


Ok this one's a doozy....I don't know how it's gonna turn our written, but it's definetly a good story when I orate. Or say it orally, I don't really know what the word I was looking for there was...anyways.......

So it starts out I'm in Corvallis in the middle of the night. And I'm on 9th St. and I'm wearing an astronaut space suit. And for some reason, this space suit makes me really really fast. So I'm running along with traffic, then I just full out head first slide, and I'm like cruising around on my stomach in this space suit. Then I come to stop light, so I stop, get up, dust myself off, salute the car next to me, and make a lefthand turn onto Walnut Ave. And so I'm running down walnut, do the headfirst slide thing again, and end up at this house (fake house). It's just this little tiny thing, all run down and ramshackled (I like that word.) And inside this house are Ali Larter and Devon Sawa (from the movie Final Destination. Ms. Larter has also appeared as the whipped cream bikini girl in Varsity Blues and as the woman on trial for the murder of her husband in Legally Blonde. Mr. Sawa has also been in the movie Idle Hands, and portrayed Stan in the music video for Eminem's "Stan.")

So anyways, I take off my space helmet, and they're like "good, about time you got here, we need to rehearse for the movie!" So I'm like "ok, just let me get out of this suit." And I'm trying to take off this suit, but we're in this really cramped room, and I somehow end up lip to lip with Ali Larter. And at first there's this really uncomfortable moment where we just are frozen there with our lips touching, then her lips part and we kiss for a few seconds, then we kinda realize what's going on and stop. And we kinda smile at each other, and I'm like "uhhhhhhhh, yeah........sorry about that." And she just kinda blushes and whispers in my ear "we'll talk later" and kisses me on the cheek. I look over, and Devon is kinda angrily tying his shoes and has a scowl on his face. I mean this is like the coolest thing that's ever happened in a dream by far.

Alright, moving on.....we walk out of the little tiny house, and all of a sudden we're on this wooded hillside in like a campground type setting....there's a little clearing and a pit for a fire and some log cabins kind of off to the side. And all of a sudden there's this ear piercing scream. And everyone's kinda panicked. And then we hear this low whirring noise....like a ride on lawn mower. And this maniacal laughter. And everyone's looking all over, trying to figure out what's going on. Then I see this red Kubota ride on mower just whizzing through the trees at top speed. And it's getting closer and closer, and the laughter is getting louder and louder. Then all of a sudden I hear this scream as the Kubota runs over some girl, mulching her in an instant. That's when I see the driver......it's Matthew Lillard, from Scream, and more recently, Scooby Doo. He's got blood all over his face and he's got that crazed killer look in his eye. So I'm all hiding in the trees, as he keeps making passes through the campsite trying to mow down (pun intended) more people. Finally he comes near me, and I fly out of the trees, clotheslining him off the mower and pinning him to the ground. So I just kicking his ass. I'm just wailing on him. Left, right, left, right.....just pummeling his face. And I'm like "you sick bastard! I'll kill you! Scooby Doo sucked ass!" Finally someone pulls me off him, and he's just lying there unconscious. So the cops show up, cuff him and take him away. And Ali Larter comes running up to me, and she's all emotional and stuff, and I just give her a big hug, and she's like "hold me, Andy. I was so scared. Thank you." And I'm like "it's all over now, Ali, it's ok, shhhh, it's ok, I'm here." (I'm so damn smooth in my dreams) So then the cops come over and they're like "ok, Ms. Larter, time to go." And I'm like "oh no it's not! She didn't do anything, she's staying here." And they're like "she's causing the rift in death's design, and that's why all the murders keep happening." And she kinda looks at me forlornly, and kinda nods her head, and says "they're right Andy, I've gotta go." And I'm like "SHIT! This is not right at all!"

And that's when I woke up. Pretty good, eh?

grr I'm steaming mad

So I just went for a walk to pick up my paycheck and check and see if I could get tickets for the Civil War hoops game down in Euguene this weekend. And I'm walking down the street, and here come these two girls. They're gabbing on and on about how lame it is to be back in school and such. One of them had a Louis Vitton bag. And they're walking side by side on a sidewalk built for two people. And these girls act like it's a game of chicken or some shit. I move all the way over to the right of the sidewalk and these girls make no attempt to clear a lane for me. I literally had to walk in the grass to avoid shoulder checking this chick. Next time I'm doing it. How great would that be? I'm just walking down the sidewalk, and a girl doesn't yield right of way to me so I drop her. I swear that would be on America's Funniest Videos. Inconsiderate people, especially inconsiderate people with Louis Vitton bags, are probably my biggest pet peeve. Either that or when you have your music player on random and out of the 1383 songs you have, it continually picks slow songs, or the Counting Crows and Sarah McLachlan songs your girlfriend downloaded. That really gets my boxers in a bunch.


Oh, and to update the 5K run I did on New Year's Eve.....I made it 2.2 miles before the arches in my feet were begging for mercy. So we stop running. Ended up being about a 3K run, 1K walk, 1K run. No way was I going to walk across the finish line. Especially when they've got some guy on a loudspeaker reading your name off as you come to the line. As if it isn't bad enough that they can look at my time and go "Jesus that guy is slow! I saw an 8 year old come in 10 minutes ago!" (By the way, that happened....an eight year old beat me. Soundly.) They've gotta go "we want to welcome back Andy Lasselle! Happy New Year, Andy." I half expected his next words to be "Looks like Andy's resolution should be to get in shape!"

Perhaps the most amusing part of the whole ordeal was that they give you an electronic chip to attach to your shoe. This chip apparently gives you the most accurate time, since when the race starts it usually takes about 2 minutes to actually get to the starting line because of all the people in the race. Great for people wearing dri-fit nike body suits, totally useless to out of shape 25 year olds trying to make their girlfriends happy by running in a 5K. Although I felt kind of important when I get to the finish line and they have a girl sitting there ready to cut this thing off your shoe. You just shove your foot in her face and she has to sit there and take it. Makes you feel good, probably made her feel like cinderella before the glass slipper. All in all a good time though.