I woke up this morning with some weird scratch on my chin. I don't think it happened during the basketball game last night, because I think either Rachel or I would've noticed it. So apparently she scratched me while sleeping last night. Or I scratched myself. Probably the latter. Then I get in Brown Sugar, which smells extra gassy, and head to work with the intention of getting gas at the Shell station on 9th.
I ran out of gas on 99 just as you turn onto Conifer. So I had to push the truck out of harms way, then walk to the gas station and get the can filled up. Turns out, that can has a leak. So I had to walk back to the truck with a full 6 gallon gas can held upside down practically over my head. It was basically the baton death march. My arms are a little wobbly still.
Anyways, I got gassed up and made to to work half an hour late, but now not only do I have gas fumes on me, I have actual gas. I'm probably making it very uncomfortable for everyone even remotely close to me. Hell, I can't even stand the smell of myself.
I hate today.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Monday, August 28, 2006
And the winner is.....
I don't get awards shows. They run too long, and everybody bitches about it. Then they do all these things to speed it up which just make the whole thing weird. They're interrupting people's speeches with music, they have people walking out onto the stage while other people are finishing up, they hand out two awards at the same time......the whole thing seems just way too spastic. I couldn't handle the emmy's last night. I felt like I needed to drink some Jolt Cola just to keep up with what was going on. Personally, I'd rather they just kept it running long and let people talk and enjoy the fact that they just won a damn Emmy! I mean, if you won an Emmy, wouldn't you want to be able to thank people and talk about what it meant to you without some scrawny conductor cutting you off after you say "I'd like to thank everyone that".....and here comes some Beethoven number. Strange.
Three days of work this week and then we're off to Wisconsin for our reception in Rachel's hometown. It's a bit insane that we're having 225 people at this thing when we only had about 145 at the actual wedding. All this means is that more people love Rachel than love me. Well, either that, or her extended family is huge, and they all happen to live within 40 miles of each other.
Grant and my dad didn't book their hotel soon enough, and it turns out nearly every hotel (all 4 of them) in Richland Center was booked solid. Why, you ask, would a town of 5,000 people be completely booked? Why, because the Miss Wisconsin pageant is being held in R.C. that weekend! I don't know why that is so amusing to me, but it makes me laugh. Anyways, so Grant and Dad weren't able to get into the hotel we're in the first two nights. I guess they got into some dive that had one room left, and it only has one double bed. Hope you're comfy guys!
Steve asked me to be an usher in his wedding, and said that instead of making us rent tuxes, we could just wear suits. That Steve, always looking out for his friends, trying to save them a few dollars. Then again, I don't own a suit, so this is going to cost me more than renting a tux would. I guess now's as good a time as any to get myself a suit.
I wonder what the average age of buying your first suit is. I'm betting I'm about 3 or 4 years behind the curve. But then again, it took me 7 years to get a bachelor's degree, so I guess I'm right on time......Lasselle time.
Three days of work this week and then we're off to Wisconsin for our reception in Rachel's hometown. It's a bit insane that we're having 225 people at this thing when we only had about 145 at the actual wedding. All this means is that more people love Rachel than love me. Well, either that, or her extended family is huge, and they all happen to live within 40 miles of each other.
Grant and my dad didn't book their hotel soon enough, and it turns out nearly every hotel (all 4 of them) in Richland Center was booked solid. Why, you ask, would a town of 5,000 people be completely booked? Why, because the Miss Wisconsin pageant is being held in R.C. that weekend! I don't know why that is so amusing to me, but it makes me laugh. Anyways, so Grant and Dad weren't able to get into the hotel we're in the first two nights. I guess they got into some dive that had one room left, and it only has one double bed. Hope you're comfy guys!
Steve asked me to be an usher in his wedding, and said that instead of making us rent tuxes, we could just wear suits. That Steve, always looking out for his friends, trying to save them a few dollars. Then again, I don't own a suit, so this is going to cost me more than renting a tux would. I guess now's as good a time as any to get myself a suit.
I wonder what the average age of buying your first suit is. I'm betting I'm about 3 or 4 years behind the curve. But then again, it took me 7 years to get a bachelor's degree, so I guess I'm right on time......Lasselle time.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Bite me in the ass, OSU
So you know that saying the past is the past? Not at OSU apparently.
That "D" I got in writing 121 back in the fall of 1997 is now preventing me from pursuing a degree.
Lemme set this up for you. Back in '97 I had this long haired hippie grad student teaching my 121 class. On the first day of class he goes into this thing about how this "isn't high school anymore" blah blah blah. Basically if we did the assignment and met all his requirements we would get a "C." If it was good and he could tell we worked on it, it was a "B." What's an "A" you ask? Well, to him, an "A" was only handed out if your paper was "art."
Art?
So yeah......basically I bust my ass and the only thing I get out of it is a C or C- on everything. So I basically throw in the towel, turn in my last two papers weeks early and stop going to class. Thus, the D.
Now, I can't have a D in any class applicable to a business degree to be accepted into the college of business. So I have to retake Writing 121. But they don't let people whose last name start with L to take WR121 in the fall. So I have to wait until winter. During that time, I could be taking other classes that aren't CoB (College of Business) classes, but the problem is I can't take classes until a college accepts me. So I have to find another college on campus that will accept me. And if I get all this done, then in the spring, after I've taken WR 121, then I can re-apply to the CoB.
So, if I want to take accounting classes (I do), I could start taking them at the earliest in the spring of '07. That is, if they offer the first class in the series in the spring.
(They don't)
In summary....my progress towards an accounting degree is being delayed by a year, during which time I'll have to take the same class (along with other entry level classes) I took nearly a decade ago with students who are nearly a decade younger than me, all because of a Nazi who didn't think my writing was fucking "art?"
BRING IT ON!
That "D" I got in writing 121 back in the fall of 1997 is now preventing me from pursuing a degree.
Lemme set this up for you. Back in '97 I had this long haired hippie grad student teaching my 121 class. On the first day of class he goes into this thing about how this "isn't high school anymore" blah blah blah. Basically if we did the assignment and met all his requirements we would get a "C." If it was good and he could tell we worked on it, it was a "B." What's an "A" you ask? Well, to him, an "A" was only handed out if your paper was "art."
Art?
So yeah......basically I bust my ass and the only thing I get out of it is a C or C- on everything. So I basically throw in the towel, turn in my last two papers weeks early and stop going to class. Thus, the D.
Now, I can't have a D in any class applicable to a business degree to be accepted into the college of business. So I have to retake Writing 121. But they don't let people whose last name start with L to take WR121 in the fall. So I have to wait until winter. During that time, I could be taking other classes that aren't CoB (College of Business) classes, but the problem is I can't take classes until a college accepts me. So I have to find another college on campus that will accept me. And if I get all this done, then in the spring, after I've taken WR 121, then I can re-apply to the CoB.
So, if I want to take accounting classes (I do), I could start taking them at the earliest in the spring of '07. That is, if they offer the first class in the series in the spring.
(They don't)
In summary....my progress towards an accounting degree is being delayed by a year, during which time I'll have to take the same class (along with other entry level classes) I took nearly a decade ago with students who are nearly a decade younger than me, all because of a Nazi who didn't think my writing was fucking "art?"
BRING IT ON!
Thursday, August 24, 2006
wisdom from a cookie is crummy
So my fortune cookie today told me that "an admirer finds you charming." Really? That's news? I'm supposed to be shocked that someone who admires me finds me charming? Isn't that what admirers do? Way to go out on a limb there cookie.
In other news, it's been almost two months since my wedding. In that time, I haven't heard from one of my groomsmen once, despite repeated calls and emails. Not sure what to make of this. I hope he's alright, though I think I would've heard if he was dead. So it's been more fun to make up stories about what he's been doing. My latest is that he's running drugs through a tunnel under the border to help pay off medical bills. I hope he's not avoiding me because he owes me $80....cause I'd hope he realizes that our friendship is worth a little more than tuxedo rental money.
In other news, it's been almost two months since my wedding. In that time, I haven't heard from one of my groomsmen once, despite repeated calls and emails. Not sure what to make of this. I hope he's alright, though I think I would've heard if he was dead. So it's been more fun to make up stories about what he's been doing. My latest is that he's running drugs through a tunnel under the border to help pay off medical bills. I hope he's not avoiding me because he owes me $80....cause I'd hope he realizes that our friendship is worth a little more than tuxedo rental money.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
I never thought I'd see the day that something on the internet made me cry. Then I saw this. I wasn't bawling, but I did get misty eyed and had to wipe my eyes. Just read the story and watch the clip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjPrL3n63yg
Strongest Dad in the World
[From Sports Illustrated, by Rick Reilly]
I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.
This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs. "He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;" Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on hi brain."
"Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.
Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to the control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that."
Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks."
That day changed Rick's life "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!"
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair comptetitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?"
How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.
Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for the "awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case ou don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.
"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century."
And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago."
So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.
"The thing I'd most like," Rick types, "is that my dad would sit in the chair and I would push him once
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjPrL3n63yg
Strongest Dad in the World
[From Sports Illustrated, by Rick Reilly]
I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.
This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs. "He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;" Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on hi brain."
"Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.
Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to the control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that."
Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks."
That day changed Rick's life "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!"
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair comptetitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?"
How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.
Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for the "awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case ou don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.
"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century."
And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago."
So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.
"The thing I'd most like," Rick types, "is that my dad would sit in the chair and I would push him once
Monday, August 21, 2006
I used up all my sick days so I called in dead
Well we're back from our Honeymoon. Actually, since a member or members of our respective families were present for a good portion of the trip, we dubbed it our "familymoon," or as they'd say in Hawaii, "ohanamoon."
Chicago was amazing.....great city. We got to tour Wrigley Field, which was really cool. No wonder people in that city love the Cubs. The stadium is built right in the middle of a neighborhood....it truly is like rooting for the team down the block. Great atmosphere, and I didn't even get to see a game there.
No matter how many times you go to Hawaii, it never gets old. The most exciting thing we did there was take a trip out in the ocean on a yacht that raced in the America's Cup. While we couldn't get it up to racing speed, it was still pretty cool. But other than that, it was a whole lot of laying on the beach, swimming in the ocean, and eating. Great times.
The worst part of any vacation is coming home. We actually pulled into our driveway last night about 2 in the morning, and here it is less than 5 hours later and I'm already dressed and ready to head to work. Not exactly easing back into things after a week and a half off. It'll be a miracle if I can keep it together through the whole day and don't end up relapsing into vacation and just getting up halfway through the morning, throwing on a swimsuit and going to lay in the grass outside the office.
The good news is that I only have to work a week and a half, and then it's off to Wisconsin for our second reception in Rachel's hometown. I swear, this is the wedding that never ends. By the time we finish that reception, we'll have had just about two full months between the start of wedding activities and the end of them. Not that I'm complaining. We've received more gifts and well wishes than I ever could've dreamed possible. Our friends and family have been amazing.
Chicago was amazing.....great city. We got to tour Wrigley Field, which was really cool. No wonder people in that city love the Cubs. The stadium is built right in the middle of a neighborhood....it truly is like rooting for the team down the block. Great atmosphere, and I didn't even get to see a game there.
No matter how many times you go to Hawaii, it never gets old. The most exciting thing we did there was take a trip out in the ocean on a yacht that raced in the America's Cup. While we couldn't get it up to racing speed, it was still pretty cool. But other than that, it was a whole lot of laying on the beach, swimming in the ocean, and eating. Great times.
The worst part of any vacation is coming home. We actually pulled into our driveway last night about 2 in the morning, and here it is less than 5 hours later and I'm already dressed and ready to head to work. Not exactly easing back into things after a week and a half off. It'll be a miracle if I can keep it together through the whole day and don't end up relapsing into vacation and just getting up halfway through the morning, throwing on a swimsuit and going to lay in the grass outside the office.
The good news is that I only have to work a week and a half, and then it's off to Wisconsin for our second reception in Rachel's hometown. I swear, this is the wedding that never ends. By the time we finish that reception, we'll have had just about two full months between the start of wedding activities and the end of them. Not that I'm complaining. We've received more gifts and well wishes than I ever could've dreamed possible. Our friends and family have been amazing.
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
Another trip around the sun
So when do you become old? Do you remember which birthday made you go "damn, how did that happen?" This is that birthday for me. August 8, 2006 is the day Andy Lasselle finally felt old. I never really had issue with the aging process until today. All of a sudden, I realized that I'm 27, working a job I'm not really satisfied with, and my hopes of ever dunking a basketball again (I did it once in high school, just once) are flying farther out the window with every second.
So how do you combat these feelings of mortality? Some people stay up all night watching movies like they did when they were younger. Some relive the college days by binge drinking and sleeping in 'til 2 pm the next day. Some buy a fancy sports car.
Me, I'm going back to school.
Yup you read that right. I'm 99% sure I'm going back to school. No offense to anyone that makes $25,000 a year (I know it's a reality for most of us) but I just don't want to settle for that. And with the way I frittered away my first stint in college, I owe it to myself to go back and be a STUDENT rather than just "go to college." And believe me, I went to college. I probably went to college more than most people. I spent 7 years meeting people, attending sporting events, partying, hitting the bars on Thursdays, flirting with the sorority girls across the street, eating at Shari's twice in a 4 hour period....once at 2 am on our way home, and again at 6 am to kick off a road trip to California.
So cross your fingers and take a deep breath. I'm going back to try and better myself and provide a more financially stable future for me and my wife.
Happy birthday, Andy, here's some homework.
So how do you combat these feelings of mortality? Some people stay up all night watching movies like they did when they were younger. Some relive the college days by binge drinking and sleeping in 'til 2 pm the next day. Some buy a fancy sports car.
Me, I'm going back to school.
Yup you read that right. I'm 99% sure I'm going back to school. No offense to anyone that makes $25,000 a year (I know it's a reality for most of us) but I just don't want to settle for that. And with the way I frittered away my first stint in college, I owe it to myself to go back and be a STUDENT rather than just "go to college." And believe me, I went to college. I probably went to college more than most people. I spent 7 years meeting people, attending sporting events, partying, hitting the bars on Thursdays, flirting with the sorority girls across the street, eating at Shari's twice in a 4 hour period....once at 2 am on our way home, and again at 6 am to kick off a road trip to California.
So cross your fingers and take a deep breath. I'm going back to try and better myself and provide a more financially stable future for me and my wife.
Happy birthday, Andy, here's some homework.
Monday, August 7, 2006
MTV.....For those with short attention spans
So I've started watching MTV in the mornings while I work out on the elliptical. It's about the only time they show music videos, which are pretty much the best thing MTV shows, and the reason they even have a channel. I suppose you could argue that shows like True Life: I'm trying to go celibate and My Super Sweet 16 are good shows because they are so damn amusing, but really you know you're going to hell for contributing to these nobody's thinking they're a big deal.
Anyways, I started this yesterday, watching 45 minutes of video. I was a little upset when they showed the video for Army of Me's "Going Through Changes" twice in a span of 15 minutes, but because they were starting the "Big 10" videos at 7 am, I let it slide. Thought it was bad programming to show a video you knew was going to be 10 in a few minutes, but whatever.......
Until they did it again today. Not only that, but I saw three of the same videos I saw in the same 45 minute span yesterday again today. Seriously, are there that few music videos out there? Couldn't you squeeze in a few throwback videos? Like who wouldn't get excited if after a few current videos a classic like Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean" or Billy Idol's "Cradle of Love" came on? Come on people.
I'm giving MTV one more day to shape up, or I'm switching to VH-1 or CMT. I may have to go to something like this:
Monday - MTV
Tuesday - VH-1
Wednesday - CMT
Thursday - ESPN
Friday - CNN
I'm a little iffy about Thursday and Friday because I usually watch Sportscenter in the evenings so I know what happened already, and I'm always worried that CNN will be running some story into the ground (as is customary with the news programs these days......really, having some guy camped outside Michael Vick's house saying "There's really been no activity here over the past week, but here's what we do know....." is not doing it for me.)
If any of you out there watch TV in the mornings and have something that holds your interest, please let me know. I don't know how many more times I can hear some group called the Plain White T's (is that the best they could come up with?) sing about Delilah doing her thing in NYC. Furthermore, who would name their daughter Delilah? Are there people out there who don't know how she totally screwed over Sampson? She's like the most hated woman in the history of the world! But thanks to these T-shirt guys, hundreds of teenage mothers are going to name their daughters Delilah. Nothing like starting them out on the wrong foot!
Anyways, I started this yesterday, watching 45 minutes of video. I was a little upset when they showed the video for Army of Me's "Going Through Changes" twice in a span of 15 minutes, but because they were starting the "Big 10" videos at 7 am, I let it slide. Thought it was bad programming to show a video you knew was going to be 10 in a few minutes, but whatever.......
Until they did it again today. Not only that, but I saw three of the same videos I saw in the same 45 minute span yesterday again today. Seriously, are there that few music videos out there? Couldn't you squeeze in a few throwback videos? Like who wouldn't get excited if after a few current videos a classic like Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean" or Billy Idol's "Cradle of Love" came on? Come on people.
I'm giving MTV one more day to shape up, or I'm switching to VH-1 or CMT. I may have to go to something like this:
Monday - MTV
Tuesday - VH-1
Wednesday - CMT
Thursday - ESPN
Friday - CNN
I'm a little iffy about Thursday and Friday because I usually watch Sportscenter in the evenings so I know what happened already, and I'm always worried that CNN will be running some story into the ground (as is customary with the news programs these days......really, having some guy camped outside Michael Vick's house saying "There's really been no activity here over the past week, but here's what we do know....." is not doing it for me.)
If any of you out there watch TV in the mornings and have something that holds your interest, please let me know. I don't know how many more times I can hear some group called the Plain White T's (is that the best they could come up with?) sing about Delilah doing her thing in NYC. Furthermore, who would name their daughter Delilah? Are there people out there who don't know how she totally screwed over Sampson? She's like the most hated woman in the history of the world! But thanks to these T-shirt guys, hundreds of teenage mothers are going to name their daughters Delilah. Nothing like starting them out on the wrong foot!
Friday, August 4, 2006
Lance Armstrong and the wisdom of Dale
Yesterday was just a strange day. Across the board.
On my way to work, I was cruising down Highway 20, when I look into the river and see a guy floating down the river in an inflatable raft. At 7:30 in the morning. By himself. Without a fishing pole. Have no clue what he was doing. About 2 minutes later, I pass an incredibly obese man on a recumbent bike - one with hand pedals. He looked like he'd been pedaling for hours, the sweat was just pouring off of him. Not 50 yards past him, I see this guy dressed like he's out to be the next Lance Armstrong. Full Tour de France gear. The Oakley shades, shiny racing shirt and tight spandex shorts, aerodynamic helmet. Only he's not biking. He's got a bike with him, but he's trying to track a bird with his camera phone. Seriously. This guy broke from his workout to try and get a grainy picture of a bird in motion on his motorola. You've got to be kidding me. But no, the drive was not done. A few minutes later, I pass a guy dressed like he just got off the set of Miami Vice, just strolling along the highway listening to his I-pod. Strange stuff.
Then last night I head out to the hay field, where Dad starts just dropping knowledge all over the place. He actually equated driving a stacker to Tom Sawyer. I didn't even know he'd read Tom Sawyer. But nothing prepared me for his next nugget of golden knowledge.
We're talking about hunting season, and someone said something along the lines of "hunting with a rifle is retarded. You should hunt with a bow," to which dad said "you should hunt with a camera."
Thank you Dalefucious.
On my way to work, I was cruising down Highway 20, when I look into the river and see a guy floating down the river in an inflatable raft. At 7:30 in the morning. By himself. Without a fishing pole. Have no clue what he was doing. About 2 minutes later, I pass an incredibly obese man on a recumbent bike - one with hand pedals. He looked like he'd been pedaling for hours, the sweat was just pouring off of him. Not 50 yards past him, I see this guy dressed like he's out to be the next Lance Armstrong. Full Tour de France gear. The Oakley shades, shiny racing shirt and tight spandex shorts, aerodynamic helmet. Only he's not biking. He's got a bike with him, but he's trying to track a bird with his camera phone. Seriously. This guy broke from his workout to try and get a grainy picture of a bird in motion on his motorola. You've got to be kidding me. But no, the drive was not done. A few minutes later, I pass a guy dressed like he just got off the set of Miami Vice, just strolling along the highway listening to his I-pod. Strange stuff.
Then last night I head out to the hay field, where Dad starts just dropping knowledge all over the place. He actually equated driving a stacker to Tom Sawyer. I didn't even know he'd read Tom Sawyer. But nothing prepared me for his next nugget of golden knowledge.
We're talking about hunting season, and someone said something along the lines of "hunting with a rifle is retarded. You should hunt with a bow," to which dad said "you should hunt with a camera."
Thank you Dalefucious.
Wednesday, August 2, 2006
Remember when?
Remember a year or so ago, when everyone was all over OSU's football program for its "indescretions?" You remember, one was with a guy who drank himself to death, one was involved in a brawl at the bar, one stole a sheep, and a few tried to pay for cab fare with weed. Well, browsing ESPN.com's college football site, the top stories include the following
-Two Sooners Dismissed (players submitted time-sheets for 40 hour weeks when they only worked 5...netting $18,000 in unworked wages each)
-Auburn benches 2 LBs (one was driving drunk and blew a .13, the other was walking drunk and happened to be underage)
-Miami Benches 4 players (no word on what they did, but it was something they all did together)
-4th Volunteer Player arrested since May (Dude was driving drunk and failed 4 field sobriety tests. No word on the others)
-Jailed San Jose St. Player charged with 13 more crimes. This is my favorite and I decided to provide the full text of the story below.
SAN JOSE, Calif. -- A San Jose State University football player jailed in Tulare County on robbery charges was charged with 13 additional crimes for allegedly using classified ads on the Craigslist Web site to lure other robbery victims.
Ellis T. Jones III, 20, was charged Thursday with robbery, false imprisonment and other crimes for allegedly getting potential buyers to meet him and then zapping them with a Taser or threatening them with a gun in four June stickups in San Jose.
Jones had already been suspended from the football team after his July 10 arrest on charges he robbed a pizzeria and occupants of a home in Visalia in Tulare County.
Coach Dick Tomey said Jones was expected to compete for a starting cornerback slot this fall and had never had disciplinary problems.
My point is, it seemed that everyone felt that our football program was somehow more criminal and lawless than other programs. Simply not the case. It's a nationwide epidemic among young, talented athletes that are given everything and come to expect preferential treatment. I mean, you give a kid a free pair of shoes when he turns 13 and tell him not to worry about school because he's going to be a star, and what do you think is going to happen?
-Two Sooners Dismissed (players submitted time-sheets for 40 hour weeks when they only worked 5...netting $18,000 in unworked wages each)
-Auburn benches 2 LBs (one was driving drunk and blew a .13, the other was walking drunk and happened to be underage)
-Miami Benches 4 players (no word on what they did, but it was something they all did together)
-4th Volunteer Player arrested since May (Dude was driving drunk and failed 4 field sobriety tests. No word on the others)
-Jailed San Jose St. Player charged with 13 more crimes. This is my favorite and I decided to provide the full text of the story below.
SAN JOSE, Calif. -- A San Jose State University football player jailed in Tulare County on robbery charges was charged with 13 additional crimes for allegedly using classified ads on the Craigslist Web site to lure other robbery victims.
Ellis T. Jones III, 20, was charged Thursday with robbery, false imprisonment and other crimes for allegedly getting potential buyers to meet him and then zapping them with a Taser or threatening them with a gun in four June stickups in San Jose.
Jones had already been suspended from the football team after his July 10 arrest on charges he robbed a pizzeria and occupants of a home in Visalia in Tulare County.
Coach Dick Tomey said Jones was expected to compete for a starting cornerback slot this fall and had never had disciplinary problems.
My point is, it seemed that everyone felt that our football program was somehow more criminal and lawless than other programs. Simply not the case. It's a nationwide epidemic among young, talented athletes that are given everything and come to expect preferential treatment. I mean, you give a kid a free pair of shoes when he turns 13 and tell him not to worry about school because he's going to be a star, and what do you think is going to happen?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)