Nothing beats traveling. I got to go in the air puffer machine at the airport. Apparently I put the guy on edge by keeping my wallet in my back pocket. Then I was wearing a sweatshirt, and rather than take it off, he sent me to the puffer. A lady gave me instructions, but I didn't really hear her. So I did it wrong, almost causing an incident. She put me back in the puffer and I had to do it again. Meanwhile, Rachel was being instructed to remove Jonah's shoes....because everyone knows the most dangerous thing on any flight is a pair of size 3 baby shoes.
Then it was onto the plane. We sat across the aisle from a guy from Kenya. How do I know he's from Kenya? Well the people sitting next to him asked. He had an accent, so of course these two well meaning ignorants talked to him like he was retarded. Every question was asked louder and slower than normal. It was amusing and annoying at the same time. After they asked where he was from, where he was going and what he was doing in the States (as if he needed a reason), this moron asks the guy if he's a fast runner. Because he's from Kenya! Seriously? Do you ask everyone from Germany if they hate Jews? Do you ask every Australian if they have ever wrestled a crocodile? I mean how insulting and stereotypical can you get? Of course then his wife asks our friendly Kenyan if they celebrate Thanksgiving in Kenya. Why wouldn't the Kenyans celebrate the pilgrims having dinner with the native americans? It makes total sense! I felt awful for this poor guy, and a little ashamed of my fellow americans.
Traveling on Thanksgiving isn't all that bad actually. Our flights were full, but the airports weren't all that crowded. I will say that this charging for baggage thing has caused an increase in carry-ons, which I already hate with a purpose. The airlines would make more money if they just raised rates for the flight by $30...that way they could collect money from people without checked luggage as well. Plus, you'd eliminate people pushing the envelope with bags that barely fit in the overhead bins, and nobody would really complain.
The one drawback to traveling on Thanksgiving is being hungry when you land. Nothing is open. We weren't planning on having a big meal, because we didn't land in Milwaukee until 4:30, then had a 3 hour drive to Richland Center. Didn't leave a whole lot of time to prepare a turkey dinner. So we were going to eat somewhere along the way. The only place we could find open was a Denny's. Nothing says Thanksgiving like an all american slam in a mostly empty Denny's. There were a few elderly couples who probably had no family in the area and didn't want to cook for just themselves there, and one family that looked like they probably only ate turkey on Thanksgiving if they shot it themselves. That's about it. Good times.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
enough is Enough
I watch Grey's Anatomy every week. Not because I like the show. I used to like the show. But now it's so over the top, it's become a parody of itself. Like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, it's so bad, so unbelievable, that you have to watch. If you haven't watched last night's episode, stop reading, because I've got to get a few things off my chest.
People cannot have sex with ghosts. I refuse to believe this. I will allow that there might be supernatural things out there. I will not allow that you can have sexual intercourse with them. You do not get to have sex with your dead fiance and then have sex with your current alive boyfriend the next night. This is some form of cheating. I'm convinced of that.
How is this hospital even allowed to stay open? Every doctor is emotionally or physically involved with another doctor, the interns are doing black market surgeries on each other, the patient's wishes seem to take a back seat to the doctors personal moralities, but it's ok because everything is done in the name of love? I don't get it.
What Shepard sees in Grey is beyond me. She's quite possibly the most annoying person alive. Or at least she would be if her roommate wasn't having mental breakdowns and sleeping with her imaginary friend
***************************************************
I just read that gas dropped below $2 a gallon nationally. Did anyone out there ever think we'd see this again? I remember thinking in high school that we'd never see $2 a gallon gas in Oregon because people would riot. I also remember thinking that I'd start riding a bike to work if gas ever hit $3 a gallon. I filled up the other day for $25. It's like having a 50% off coupon!
The Beavers are two games away from becoming Pac-10 champions. It's still weird to think about. Everyone is going superstitious because nobody wants to be the person who jinxes the team. People won't even mention the words Rose Bowl. I will. I'm pretty sure Mike Riley and Jacquizz Rodgers aren't going to read my blog. Rose Bowl Rose Bowl Rose Bowl. Maybe if I go say it three times into the mirror with the lights off, Keith Jackson will appear and tell me who is going to make it to Pasadena. Perhaps I should start making voodoo dolls wearing Arizona and Oregon gear.
Work has been painfully slow. I'm super excited to go to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving because I know that when I come back, there'll actually be work to do. Please note that I'm also excited to go for other reasons, that was just the reason that pertained to this blog. I was actually reading some of my old blogs yesterday and found a survey (remember those things?) where I listed a bunch of things I wanted to do before I die. Among them was see the Beavers play in the Rose Bowl. That is the only one on my list that I can't control. Sure will make my last days on earth more peaceful if I'm not fighting death saying "just one more year God? Please, I still haven't been to Pasadena!"
Reading the old blogs was pretty entertaining. I laughed at some stories I'd forgotten and it made me remember how I felt about certain things at certain times. I'm thinking about copying them all into a word document and maybe one day printing them all out so that Jonah can see what his dad was doing in his mid 20's. Although I'm thinking there's a pretty distinct possibility that the only person that would find that interesting is me.
People cannot have sex with ghosts. I refuse to believe this. I will allow that there might be supernatural things out there. I will not allow that you can have sexual intercourse with them. You do not get to have sex with your dead fiance and then have sex with your current alive boyfriend the next night. This is some form of cheating. I'm convinced of that.
How is this hospital even allowed to stay open? Every doctor is emotionally or physically involved with another doctor, the interns are doing black market surgeries on each other, the patient's wishes seem to take a back seat to the doctors personal moralities, but it's ok because everything is done in the name of love? I don't get it.
What Shepard sees in Grey is beyond me. She's quite possibly the most annoying person alive. Or at least she would be if her roommate wasn't having mental breakdowns and sleeping with her imaginary friend
***************************************************
I just read that gas dropped below $2 a gallon nationally. Did anyone out there ever think we'd see this again? I remember thinking in high school that we'd never see $2 a gallon gas in Oregon because people would riot. I also remember thinking that I'd start riding a bike to work if gas ever hit $3 a gallon. I filled up the other day for $25. It's like having a 50% off coupon!
The Beavers are two games away from becoming Pac-10 champions. It's still weird to think about. Everyone is going superstitious because nobody wants to be the person who jinxes the team. People won't even mention the words Rose Bowl. I will. I'm pretty sure Mike Riley and Jacquizz Rodgers aren't going to read my blog. Rose Bowl Rose Bowl Rose Bowl. Maybe if I go say it three times into the mirror with the lights off, Keith Jackson will appear and tell me who is going to make it to Pasadena. Perhaps I should start making voodoo dolls wearing Arizona and Oregon gear.
Work has been painfully slow. I'm super excited to go to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving because I know that when I come back, there'll actually be work to do. Please note that I'm also excited to go for other reasons, that was just the reason that pertained to this blog. I was actually reading some of my old blogs yesterday and found a survey (remember those things?) where I listed a bunch of things I wanted to do before I die. Among them was see the Beavers play in the Rose Bowl. That is the only one on my list that I can't control. Sure will make my last days on earth more peaceful if I'm not fighting death saying "just one more year God? Please, I still haven't been to Pasadena!"
Reading the old blogs was pretty entertaining. I laughed at some stories I'd forgotten and it made me remember how I felt about certain things at certain times. I'm thinking about copying them all into a word document and maybe one day printing them all out so that Jonah can see what his dad was doing in his mid 20's. Although I'm thinking there's a pretty distinct possibility that the only person that would find that interesting is me.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Civil War gone wrong
Usually I try to write blogs that I think most people will find interesting. This will not be one of those.
I feel like I'm a pretty big OSU fan, and I feel most people would agree. But I feel I have a secret that most people would view as a traitorous viewpoint.
I don't hate all things Duck.
There, I said it. I call them the Ducks, not the Ucks. I refer to the city they play in as Eugene, not Spewgene. And I call them the University of Oregon, not Whoregon. I don't particularly have anything against the colors yellow and green.
It seems these days you have to prove your fandom by denouncing everything related to your rival. Even before I decided to go to Oregon State, I was a Beaver fan. A lot of that has to do with my family being from Corvallis. From me going to games at Parker Stadium as a kid. From getting to high five Gary Payton as he left the court as an eight year old.
Sure there's a few things I don't like about U of O. I think the football coach has an extreme aversion to complimenting the success of others. I think their announcers show a bias more extreme than most. I really have nothing against U of O's basketball team. I think Ernie Kent is a good coach, I think they have exciting players that are fun to watch. I root for them every time they aren't playing the Beavers. Does that make me less of a Beaver fan? I don't think so.
One thing Beaver fans like to bag on is Oregon's jersey collection. The baseball team just unveiled their new jerseys....all six of them. Here's a news flash for you though: OSU also has six baseball jerseys! Here's some other things that people like to bash Oregon for that I don't agree with:
*Ducks are copying the Beavs by wearing black. This makes no sense to me. By that logic, who was Georgia copying when they wore black jerseys? Who was Duke's basketball team copying when they unveiled black jerseys? What school hasn't had a "blackout" game this year? OSU fans are lucky that black is one of our school colors....saves the department money when we have a blackout. Speaking of money......
*Oregon is only good because of Phil Knight. So? Phil Knight started out selling shoes out of the back of his van. Is it Oregon's fault that nearly every person in the known world now contributes to his pocketbook....including everyone who wears official OSU gear. He gives $100 million that he wants spent exclusively on athletics.....so guess what? U of O spends it on athletics! They spend it on new uniforms, new facilities, and new sports. Speaking of which......
*Oregon was jealous of OSU's baseball success so they brought baseball back. Again, no. Oregon State's success made it easier for U of O to bring baseball back for sure, but this had nothing to do with trophy envy. This has everything to do with money. Which sport do you thing generates more revenue, baseball or wrestling? When's the last time you saw 10,000 people show up at an Oregon wrestling meet? Amazingly, that's probably how many people are going to show up with Oregon plays baseball in Portland. OSU's success made its own baseball program turn a profit for the first time ever. Why shouldn't Oregon try to capitalize on that? Oregon State is thinking about bringing back track and field. Does that have anything to do with the popularity of Oregon's track program? Probably. Are they doing it because they're jealous? You won't hear any self respecting Beaver fan say that.
Oregon fans do the same thing. They refer to OSU as OSewe, a clever pun referring to a football player stealing a sheep who happened to be part of a study on animal homosexuality. I don't think I've ever stopped someone wearing green and yellow to yell at them or berate them. Yet this will happen over and over again in a few weeks when the Civil War takes place.
As usual, a few bad apples ruin it for everyone. Unfortunately, this vocal minority always gets the most publicity because of the noise they make. And now I've fallen prey to their trap too. I've spent an hour crafting this blog to respond to their lunacy.
Guess that makes me a lunatic too.
I feel like I'm a pretty big OSU fan, and I feel most people would agree. But I feel I have a secret that most people would view as a traitorous viewpoint.
I don't hate all things Duck.
There, I said it. I call them the Ducks, not the Ucks. I refer to the city they play in as Eugene, not Spewgene. And I call them the University of Oregon, not Whoregon. I don't particularly have anything against the colors yellow and green.
It seems these days you have to prove your fandom by denouncing everything related to your rival. Even before I decided to go to Oregon State, I was a Beaver fan. A lot of that has to do with my family being from Corvallis. From me going to games at Parker Stadium as a kid. From getting to high five Gary Payton as he left the court as an eight year old.
Sure there's a few things I don't like about U of O. I think the football coach has an extreme aversion to complimenting the success of others. I think their announcers show a bias more extreme than most. I really have nothing against U of O's basketball team. I think Ernie Kent is a good coach, I think they have exciting players that are fun to watch. I root for them every time they aren't playing the Beavers. Does that make me less of a Beaver fan? I don't think so.
One thing Beaver fans like to bag on is Oregon's jersey collection. The baseball team just unveiled their new jerseys....all six of them. Here's a news flash for you though: OSU also has six baseball jerseys! Here's some other things that people like to bash Oregon for that I don't agree with:
*Ducks are copying the Beavs by wearing black. This makes no sense to me. By that logic, who was Georgia copying when they wore black jerseys? Who was Duke's basketball team copying when they unveiled black jerseys? What school hasn't had a "blackout" game this year? OSU fans are lucky that black is one of our school colors....saves the department money when we have a blackout. Speaking of money......
*Oregon is only good because of Phil Knight. So? Phil Knight started out selling shoes out of the back of his van. Is it Oregon's fault that nearly every person in the known world now contributes to his pocketbook....including everyone who wears official OSU gear. He gives $100 million that he wants spent exclusively on athletics.....so guess what? U of O spends it on athletics! They spend it on new uniforms, new facilities, and new sports. Speaking of which......
*Oregon was jealous of OSU's baseball success so they brought baseball back. Again, no. Oregon State's success made it easier for U of O to bring baseball back for sure, but this had nothing to do with trophy envy. This has everything to do with money. Which sport do you thing generates more revenue, baseball or wrestling? When's the last time you saw 10,000 people show up at an Oregon wrestling meet? Amazingly, that's probably how many people are going to show up with Oregon plays baseball in Portland. OSU's success made its own baseball program turn a profit for the first time ever. Why shouldn't Oregon try to capitalize on that? Oregon State is thinking about bringing back track and field. Does that have anything to do with the popularity of Oregon's track program? Probably. Are they doing it because they're jealous? You won't hear any self respecting Beaver fan say that.
Oregon fans do the same thing. They refer to OSU as OSewe, a clever pun referring to a football player stealing a sheep who happened to be part of a study on animal homosexuality. I don't think I've ever stopped someone wearing green and yellow to yell at them or berate them. Yet this will happen over and over again in a few weeks when the Civil War takes place.
As usual, a few bad apples ruin it for everyone. Unfortunately, this vocal minority always gets the most publicity because of the noise they make. And now I've fallen prey to their trap too. I've spent an hour crafting this blog to respond to their lunacy.
Guess that makes me a lunatic too.
Monday, November 10, 2008
What's my computer trying to tell me?
I was going to write this blog about annoying banner ads. I understand that they make sites like MySpace free, which I am all for. But who comes up with these things?
They used to be the most mind numbing games imaginable. "Drill for Oil faster than Bush to win a cell phone!" "Slap the sumo belly!" and on and on. Apparently those ceased to be effective, so then we had the easiest quiz ever. "Which actress appeared on Friends?" and your choices were Miss Piggy, Kathy Bates and Courtney Cox. But then the ad companies got smart. They started tracking the websites you went to, and based on that information, they were able to post banner ads based on your browsing. Look up sports info? There'd be a banner ad with a chick in a bikini saying "it's ok to look." Look up information on breast feeding and an offer for a subscription to a parenting magazine appears.
So while I'm reading a friend's blog, I notice a flashing banner. It asks "which Jonas Brother would you date?" That's what prompted this blog. I swear I haven't been looking up anything Disney, Hannah Montana, or young teenage boy related. I doubt my wife has either. So I come to write this blog. The banner ad at the top says "Lance Bass shares his extraordinary experiences."
I don't think I can explain this away. Let's just say I disagree with what my computer says about me.
They used to be the most mind numbing games imaginable. "Drill for Oil faster than Bush to win a cell phone!" "Slap the sumo belly!" and on and on. Apparently those ceased to be effective, so then we had the easiest quiz ever. "Which actress appeared on Friends?" and your choices were Miss Piggy, Kathy Bates and Courtney Cox. But then the ad companies got smart. They started tracking the websites you went to, and based on that information, they were able to post banner ads based on your browsing. Look up sports info? There'd be a banner ad with a chick in a bikini saying "it's ok to look." Look up information on breast feeding and an offer for a subscription to a parenting magazine appears.
So while I'm reading a friend's blog, I notice a flashing banner. It asks "which Jonas Brother would you date?" That's what prompted this blog. I swear I haven't been looking up anything Disney, Hannah Montana, or young teenage boy related. I doubt my wife has either. So I come to write this blog. The banner ad at the top says "Lance Bass shares his extraordinary experiences."
I don't think I can explain this away. Let's just say I disagree with what my computer says about me.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
I Voted
Being conservative in Oregon means I don't see things fall my way very often in November. But I'm cool with that. I don't own the state. I don't own the country. If someone gets elected or a measure gets passed that I disagree with, it's because there's more people here that want something else. It's nothing to get mad about.
I voted for John McCain. I voted for him primarily because I agree with him that nuclear energy needs to be a primary source of energy for the country moving forward. All the other stuff was secondary to me. Voting for John McCain in Oregon is sort of like hopping on a train knowing your stop isn't on the line. Obama won, and I'm cool with that. Even John McCain is cool with that. In his concession speech (which was fantastic, and if he'd talked like that throughout the election, he might've had a puncher's chance), he said:
"These are difficult times for our country. And I pledge to him tonight to do all in my power to help him lead us through the many challenges we face.
I urge all Americans ... I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited."
And I agree with that. I ride with Obama now, just like I rode with Bush before that. He's the president. Don't get me wrong, Bush didn't do a very good job of leading this country, but then again, it's kind of hard to lead when there are people doing everything in their power to undermine your every decision. A lot of people in this country thought that way. Our government was set up so that no one person could have too much power. Unfortunately, that makes it extremely difficult to get things accomplished efficiently.
Another election thing that just boggles my mind is this gay marriage fiasco. This country has voted time and time again to deny its gay citizens the same rights that straight ones enjoy. That's the country we live in right now. It may be another 40 or 50 years, but it will change, much the way this country has changed its attitude towards women and people of color. I think that pro gay marriage people are handling this right though. Sure they're angry and upset, but they continue to try and change the system legally and without undermining the leadership of this country. I wish every group of people with a cause could approach things this way.
I voted for John McCain. I voted for him primarily because I agree with him that nuclear energy needs to be a primary source of energy for the country moving forward. All the other stuff was secondary to me. Voting for John McCain in Oregon is sort of like hopping on a train knowing your stop isn't on the line. Obama won, and I'm cool with that. Even John McCain is cool with that. In his concession speech (which was fantastic, and if he'd talked like that throughout the election, he might've had a puncher's chance), he said:
"These are difficult times for our country. And I pledge to him tonight to do all in my power to help him lead us through the many challenges we face.
I urge all Americans ... I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited."
And I agree with that. I ride with Obama now, just like I rode with Bush before that. He's the president. Don't get me wrong, Bush didn't do a very good job of leading this country, but then again, it's kind of hard to lead when there are people doing everything in their power to undermine your every decision. A lot of people in this country thought that way. Our government was set up so that no one person could have too much power. Unfortunately, that makes it extremely difficult to get things accomplished efficiently.
Another election thing that just boggles my mind is this gay marriage fiasco. This country has voted time and time again to deny its gay citizens the same rights that straight ones enjoy. That's the country we live in right now. It may be another 40 or 50 years, but it will change, much the way this country has changed its attitude towards women and people of color. I think that pro gay marriage people are handling this right though. Sure they're angry and upset, but they continue to try and change the system legally and without undermining the leadership of this country. I wish every group of people with a cause could approach things this way.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Vampire backlash
So a vast majority of people have told me my last blog was way off base. However, that blog generated more response than pretty much any other blog I've read, which I think in part proves my point that women are very emotionally involved in these books. I have decided to read at least the first book while I'm on vacation in Wisconsin over Thanksgiving (if I can get my hands on a copy).
I see that "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" was on tonight. Last year, Rachel went into labor while we were watching it. Crazy to think that it's already been a year. We decided to DVR it and will probably watch it on Halloween.
We DVR'ed it so I could watch the Blazers-Lakers game. Boy do I feel like a fool. I bought into all the Blazer hype that's been on the radio. I forgot that the Paul Allen owns both the Blazers and the radio station. Greg Oden is already hurt, and aside from Rudy Fernandez, every guy wearing a Portland jersey looks pretty shaky. I really wanted to get behind this Blazer team because I like nearly every player on their roster. Unfortunately, they don't seem to all be able to get on the same page. As of now, I can't say I'm upset that I don't have the Comcast Sports NW channel that is showing all the Blazer games this year.
One of my co-workers mentioned today that she's going to an "adult" Halloween party. What the hell does that mean? I'm assuming that it simply means that there will be adults there instead of children. This seems rather unnecessary to mention however, which makes me think that she meant "adult" as in "adult films." This is not something I want to think about.
Speaking of Halloween, I'm still amazingly amused by the ever increasing fad of making Halloween costumes sexual in nature. It seems that nobody is a nurse anymore, they're a "sexy nurse." Nobody is a police officer, they're "Officer GoodBody." Perhaps this has always been the case, and I was just too young to realize it growing up, or perhaps it's just because I live in a college town. Either way, it sure is entertaining.
I see that "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" was on tonight. Last year, Rachel went into labor while we were watching it. Crazy to think that it's already been a year. We decided to DVR it and will probably watch it on Halloween.
We DVR'ed it so I could watch the Blazers-Lakers game. Boy do I feel like a fool. I bought into all the Blazer hype that's been on the radio. I forgot that the Paul Allen owns both the Blazers and the radio station. Greg Oden is already hurt, and aside from Rudy Fernandez, every guy wearing a Portland jersey looks pretty shaky. I really wanted to get behind this Blazer team because I like nearly every player on their roster. Unfortunately, they don't seem to all be able to get on the same page. As of now, I can't say I'm upset that I don't have the Comcast Sports NW channel that is showing all the Blazer games this year.
One of my co-workers mentioned today that she's going to an "adult" Halloween party. What the hell does that mean? I'm assuming that it simply means that there will be adults there instead of children. This seems rather unnecessary to mention however, which makes me think that she meant "adult" as in "adult films." This is not something I want to think about.
Speaking of Halloween, I'm still amazingly amused by the ever increasing fad of making Halloween costumes sexual in nature. It seems that nobody is a nurse anymore, they're a "sexy nurse." Nobody is a police officer, they're "Officer GoodBody." Perhaps this has always been the case, and I was just too young to realize it growing up, or perhaps it's just because I live in a college town. Either way, it sure is entertaining.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Crazy Vampire Love
So a coworker of mine has been talking about this book she's reading that has just consumed her life. She reads it while walking home from work. If that's not dangerous, I don't know what is. She brings this book into nearly every conversation we have.
Yup....it's book one of the "Twilight" series.
It seems that roughly 90% of the females I know are either currently reading or have read these books. Those that haven't read them have undoubtedly been strongly urged to by their female brethren.
This is a dangerous thing for the males of this country. The words I hear to describe the relationships in this book are "intense, passionate, epic....etc." These are the kind of love stories that make women stop and think "I want that in my life. Why isn't my relationship more like that?"
Because your boyfriend/husband isn't a vampire. That's why. To all you single girls out there.....stop waiting for a vampire to say "I love you so much, I won't suck the blood out of your body and make you eternal." I agree, that is a very noble and lovely gesture. But it's a fictional book about vampires!
Generally, girls are more emotionally attached to things. Not all of them, but in my experience, most are. They see an old man and woman holding hands and they get misty eyed. The are visibly upset that Jim and Pam are having issues on The Office. A co-worker gets a new job, and you can start the water works. Same goes for books. A guy can read Twilight, get that's it's a good story and move on. Girls get so attached to the characters that they actually have feelings for them as if they were real people. I'm not saying it's your fault ladies. I think it's just a societal thing. That's who you are.
The best analogy I can think of for guys is porn. If a guy watches a porn movie, I don't think he expects his girlfriend to all of a sudden start wearing shirts 3 sizes too small and start sucking on candy canes all the time. It's understood that it's strictly entertainment. Maybe porn wasn't the best analogy. Action movies are the same thing......a guy doesn't come out of a James Bond movie thinking everyone is a double agent and that there's an explosion waiting around every corner, yet girls think that one true love just might be at the next booth in Starbucks. Sure it's possible, but so's getting struck by lightning, or winning the lottery, or getting caught in some international espionage caper.
I might read this book. I do want to see what all the fuss is about. If I come out of reading the book thinking it's the best book I've ever read and find myself re-evaluating my relationship with Rachel. I promise that I will apologize to every single female that reads this blog.
Just don't hold your breath.
Yup....it's book one of the "Twilight" series.
It seems that roughly 90% of the females I know are either currently reading or have read these books. Those that haven't read them have undoubtedly been strongly urged to by their female brethren.
This is a dangerous thing for the males of this country. The words I hear to describe the relationships in this book are "intense, passionate, epic....etc." These are the kind of love stories that make women stop and think "I want that in my life. Why isn't my relationship more like that?"
Because your boyfriend/husband isn't a vampire. That's why. To all you single girls out there.....stop waiting for a vampire to say "I love you so much, I won't suck the blood out of your body and make you eternal." I agree, that is a very noble and lovely gesture. But it's a fictional book about vampires!
Generally, girls are more emotionally attached to things. Not all of them, but in my experience, most are. They see an old man and woman holding hands and they get misty eyed. The are visibly upset that Jim and Pam are having issues on The Office. A co-worker gets a new job, and you can start the water works. Same goes for books. A guy can read Twilight, get that's it's a good story and move on. Girls get so attached to the characters that they actually have feelings for them as if they were real people. I'm not saying it's your fault ladies. I think it's just a societal thing. That's who you are.
The best analogy I can think of for guys is porn. If a guy watches a porn movie, I don't think he expects his girlfriend to all of a sudden start wearing shirts 3 sizes too small and start sucking on candy canes all the time. It's understood that it's strictly entertainment. Maybe porn wasn't the best analogy. Action movies are the same thing......a guy doesn't come out of a James Bond movie thinking everyone is a double agent and that there's an explosion waiting around every corner, yet girls think that one true love just might be at the next booth in Starbucks. Sure it's possible, but so's getting struck by lightning, or winning the lottery, or getting caught in some international espionage caper.
I might read this book. I do want to see what all the fuss is about. If I come out of reading the book thinking it's the best book I've ever read and find myself re-evaluating my relationship with Rachel. I promise that I will apologize to every single female that reads this blog.
Just don't hold your breath.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Get out the car and let casper drive!
Get out the car and let Casper drive!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op6QCusitUw
My obsession with ghost riding continues
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op6QCusitUw
My obsession with ghost riding continues
Friday, October 3, 2008
Ghost Ride the Ghost Ride
Watched the debate last night. It's become clear that no matter what Sarah Palin says, it's going to come off sounding less educated than her peers. Even the stuff she knows what she's talking about, it's hard to take her seriously. I don't know if it is because she's from Alaska, because the strategists have told her to talk like everyone watching is in third grade, because everytime you see her you think "I can see Russia from my house!" or what, but it's tough. To me, Palin being VP would be a way bigger story than Obama becoming president. What's more unlikely, a middle class guy who went to law school becoming president, or a lady who was mayor of a town of 5,000 about 4 years ago becoming VP?
I have no clue how to solve the financial crisis, and I don't think anyone else does either. Nobody wants to accept responsibility because they're all complicit. Republican, Democrat, lendors, borrowers....everyone screwed up. It's just unconscionable to me that someone would ever get into an adjustable rate mortgage, but then again everyone's always been told that owning your own home is the path to the American dream. I'm just glad I'm young enough that my 401k has plenty of time to recover before I retire. And it will recover. Probably sooner than everyone thinks. Housing prices will go up, and everyone will be spending wrecklessly again. It's the American way.
I've started classes again. So far so good. I overheard a girl rehashing her night with a friend on her cell phone. It went something like this:
"Yeah, so I'd never tried it before because I was scared, but I did it, and it kicked my ass! I was tweaking pretty hard. Sarah had to walk me home and we were sketching the whole way, it was hilarious!"
Drug use......hilarious!
Back to the mortgage deal....don't know if you heard this story, but it's about a 90 year old woman that was being forcibly evicted from her home so she shot herself. http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/10/03/eviction.suicide.attempt/index.html
Fairly sad, but Fannie Mae is forgiving her debt. So just so you know, if you're in way over your head, just go ahead and shoot yourself in a non-vital organ, and you're good! I wonder if this tactic works for parking tickets, student loans, and for football teams playing Penn State.
And finally, I found the best way to relieve your stress....I'm definitely trying this next time my co-worker pisses me off, I'm ghost-ridin her desk. Ghost Ridin
I have no clue how to solve the financial crisis, and I don't think anyone else does either. Nobody wants to accept responsibility because they're all complicit. Republican, Democrat, lendors, borrowers....everyone screwed up. It's just unconscionable to me that someone would ever get into an adjustable rate mortgage, but then again everyone's always been told that owning your own home is the path to the American dream. I'm just glad I'm young enough that my 401k has plenty of time to recover before I retire. And it will recover. Probably sooner than everyone thinks. Housing prices will go up, and everyone will be spending wrecklessly again. It's the American way.
I've started classes again. So far so good. I overheard a girl rehashing her night with a friend on her cell phone. It went something like this:
"Yeah, so I'd never tried it before because I was scared, but I did it, and it kicked my ass! I was tweaking pretty hard. Sarah had to walk me home and we were sketching the whole way, it was hilarious!"
Drug use......hilarious!
Back to the mortgage deal....don't know if you heard this story, but it's about a 90 year old woman that was being forcibly evicted from her home so she shot herself. http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/10/03/eviction.suicide.attempt/index.html
Fairly sad, but Fannie Mae is forgiving her debt. So just so you know, if you're in way over your head, just go ahead and shoot yourself in a non-vital organ, and you're good! I wonder if this tactic works for parking tickets, student loans, and for football teams playing Penn State.
And finally, I found the best way to relieve your stress....I'm definitely trying this next time my co-worker pisses me off, I'm ghost-ridin her desk. Ghost Ridin
Monday, September 22, 2008
Start spreading the news
I just watched the last game ever to be played at Yankee Stadium. Even though I could care less about who wins a meaningless game between two teams that I really don't like, I still like to see historical things. It was interesting to hear some legends of baseball like Whitey Ford and Reggie Jackson, speak about their experiences. These are people my dad told me stories about when I was a kid. To me, Reggie Jackson was the guy who tried to assassinate the queen of England in The Naked Gun. To my dad, he was the guy who hit three homeruns on three pitches in one World Series game.....at Yankee Stadium. It was strange to see players taking pictures with their own cameras on the field after the game. Everybody that goes to a major league game has a picture of themselves at the stadium, but you never think that it might be just as special (if not more) to the people who actually work there. Players were scooping dirt from the mound into containers, pulling up tufts of grass.....things normally reserved for unathletic dweebs like me who have only been on the field when playing MLB '08 on the Xbox and always wished they had the talent to do what those guys do.
That is the power of sports. Places like Yankee Stadium can bring generations together. Maybe someday I'll be able to go to New York with Jonah and see a game at the new stadium, and I can tell him about the players I got to see play there in 2000. Players like Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams and Mariano Rivera. That I sat in the same right field bleachers that Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle and Reggie Jackson used to hit homeruns into.
That's why I love sports.
That is the power of sports. Places like Yankee Stadium can bring generations together. Maybe someday I'll be able to go to New York with Jonah and see a game at the new stadium, and I can tell him about the players I got to see play there in 2000. Players like Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams and Mariano Rivera. That I sat in the same right field bleachers that Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle and Reggie Jackson used to hit homeruns into.
That's why I love sports.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Too busy to what?
My blogging still sucks. I haven't been blogging, and I'm pretty sure I've lost 90% of my loyal readers. Hopefully Gjurg is still reading, otherwise I've lost them all. Anyways, I was trying to figure out why I haven't blogged much at all lately. I like to pretend I'm a big deal, and people stop by my MySpace page on a daily basis hoping for a blog. I imagine my friends smiling everytime their friend update thingy says "Andy posted a new blog." In reality, the only person who is pleased by this is me. I enjoy blogging for myself.
If I enjoy it, why haven't I been doing it?
Of course, the most obvious (and easiest) answer is that "I've been busy." This is everyone's excuse for everything. You don't call someone back, you tell them you've been busy. The real reason is that you didn't see any point in calling them back because the message they left was lame, and/or pointless. You didn't call them back because you were watching Wipeout and couldn't be bothered. You can't tell them that, so you say you're busy.
So have I in fact been too busy to blog? Yes and no. It is summer, and I've been spending less time inside. I'm trying to be more responsible at work, thus hampering my blogging time. I've been away from a computer while vacationing. So yes, I have been busy. Too busy to blog? Nope. Only takes half an hour. I could do it instead of watching re-runs of House on USA. Instead of mindlessly flipping channels. I could write a whole blog on people imagining they're too busy to do things. Everyone's busy. We all have stuff going on. Don't think you're special.
I finally realized that I haven't been blogging because I blog when I'm stressed out. When something annoys me. When I need to rant on something. I haven't blogged because I'm happy. Because my life is going well.
So to recap, bloggers want everyone to know how busy they are and how pissed off they are. I suppose there is a faction of people who blog to brag about how great they're doing too (see the above paragraph).
Once I start classes again, I'll have plenty of blog-worthy material. College kids who act exactly like my friends and I did 8 years ago, only now I see it as moronic and petty. There'll be some girl sitting in front of me wearing uggs and with her dental floss undies showing that I'll make fun of, knowing full well that 8 years ago I'd have been trying to figure out some way to start a conversation with her.
At some point before November, I'll write a blog about the election. I just don't know when I'm going to do this. The way I see this blog going in my head is that a few people respond with their opinions on the election and we have a discussion about it that furthers everyone understanding, allowing them to make informed voting decisions. The way it'll probably go is that I'll write something that someone takes wrong and all of a sudden everyone's mad and nobody talks to each other for months.
I take that back. The way it'll go is that I blog and the only person who cares is me. And that's the way it should be.
If I enjoy it, why haven't I been doing it?
Of course, the most obvious (and easiest) answer is that "I've been busy." This is everyone's excuse for everything. You don't call someone back, you tell them you've been busy. The real reason is that you didn't see any point in calling them back because the message they left was lame, and/or pointless. You didn't call them back because you were watching Wipeout and couldn't be bothered. You can't tell them that, so you say you're busy.
So have I in fact been too busy to blog? Yes and no. It is summer, and I've been spending less time inside. I'm trying to be more responsible at work, thus hampering my blogging time. I've been away from a computer while vacationing. So yes, I have been busy. Too busy to blog? Nope. Only takes half an hour. I could do it instead of watching re-runs of House on USA. Instead of mindlessly flipping channels. I could write a whole blog on people imagining they're too busy to do things. Everyone's busy. We all have stuff going on. Don't think you're special.
I finally realized that I haven't been blogging because I blog when I'm stressed out. When something annoys me. When I need to rant on something. I haven't blogged because I'm happy. Because my life is going well.
So to recap, bloggers want everyone to know how busy they are and how pissed off they are. I suppose there is a faction of people who blog to brag about how great they're doing too (see the above paragraph).
Once I start classes again, I'll have plenty of blog-worthy material. College kids who act exactly like my friends and I did 8 years ago, only now I see it as moronic and petty. There'll be some girl sitting in front of me wearing uggs and with her dental floss undies showing that I'll make fun of, knowing full well that 8 years ago I'd have been trying to figure out some way to start a conversation with her.
At some point before November, I'll write a blog about the election. I just don't know when I'm going to do this. The way I see this blog going in my head is that a few people respond with their opinions on the election and we have a discussion about it that furthers everyone understanding, allowing them to make informed voting decisions. The way it'll probably go is that I'll write something that someone takes wrong and all of a sudden everyone's mad and nobody talks to each other for months.
I take that back. The way it'll go is that I blog and the only person who cares is me. And that's the way it should be.
Friday, August 29, 2008
How far we've come
While cleaning out some stuff at work today, one of our student workers came across a stamp that I'm pretty sure wouldn't be issued today. In 1974 however, this was apparently ok to say. Another example of how hyper-sensitive our society has become:
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Trapped in Paradise
Got home from a week in Hawaii today. It was a good trip yet, as always, was much much too short. Coming back to reality is always hard...especially when you've been spending every day watching the sun rise over a volcanic crater and watching it set over the pacific ocean. Our plane was scheduled to leave Maui at 3 pm local time. So we packed up the car and made it to the airport at a very responsible 1 pm. Rental car returned, bags checked, boarding passes in hand, we're at the gate by 1:20. There were 24 of us - it was a family vacation...an ENTIRE family vacation. Around 2:30 we get set to begin boarding and they inform us that our plane is late and we will be boarding around 3. No big deal. At 3:30 they inform us that there's a mechanical problem and that we need a part that is being flown in from Oahu. The part will be here by 4:30 pm and will take about an hour to install, so we'll be boarding around 5:30. Again, not a big deal. Around 6 we, begin boarding. They let three people on the plane, and the light comes on again. They decide not to let anyone else on until they can get the little light in the cockpit to go out. Finally, they deplane the three people on the plane (my grandma and mom being two of them) and inform us that they need to order another part. They aplogize for the 8th time for the delay and inform us that refreshments are being brought to the gate. At 7:30, a cart with airplane pretzels and water shows up. At 8:30, they begin handing out meal vouchers.....$12 per person. There's only one restaurant in the Maui airport. There's over 200 people on our flight. Thus begins a mad race to the restaurant, which is more cafeteria than restaurant. $12 sounds like a great amount for a meal, but that's on the mainland. A burger, fries, and a coke will run you $14 at this cafeteria.
After that everyone was a little punchy. A few of us decided to go up to the counter and listen to people bitch about how shitty it is of Hawaiian Airlines to not let us on a malfunctioning plane. It seriously seemed like some of these people would rather that the airline said "eh, we know there's a problem, but we don't want to make these people wait......let's hope everything works alright for just one more flight!" C'mon. There are very good reasons for these rules. I asked someone what the problem was with the plane. This lady, while well meaning, explained it to me like I was 4 years old. I think she started by explaining to me that the plane had 3 wheels that come out from the bottom of the plane so we can land. Gee really? Thanks for clearing up that little misconception.
It turns out that there was some sort of problem with the brake fluid in the landing gear. I have no problems with them making sure that our plane will stop at the Portland airport and not continue to speed across the ground until we crash into the outlet mall in Troutdale. It was quite entertaining actually. We ended up not getting off the ground until midnight, and landed in Portland this morning at 8:15 am.....roughly 10 and a half hours late. Needless to say, I didn't go to work this morning.
Funny thing was that those 11 hours at the Maui airport were probably my favorite part of the entire trip. Strange? Maybe. But it was really the only time during the entire week that all 24 of use were in the same place at the same time for any extended period of time. We got to talk, play with the kids, eat together....basically it reminded all of us that we really were family, and we should start acting like it. I got to talk to my grandparents for a while, talk to my cousin and her husband in depth for the first time since their wedding, have a good time making fun of the cranky people in the terminal who were demanding compensation for their wait with my uncle, and really get to talk to my brother's girlfriends and get to know them a little better.
So really, while I enjoyed taking Jonah in the ocean for the first time (he's doesn't seem to hate it, but I'm not sure he likes it either), snorkeling, eating mahi-mahi, laying around in the sun, and swimming at sunset every evening, I can honestly say that spending 11 hours in a hot, sorta dirty airport was the highlight of my trip.
Plus, we did get compensated. Everyone got $300 flight vouchers.....so another trip to Hawaii might be in the works!
After that everyone was a little punchy. A few of us decided to go up to the counter and listen to people bitch about how shitty it is of Hawaiian Airlines to not let us on a malfunctioning plane. It seriously seemed like some of these people would rather that the airline said "eh, we know there's a problem, but we don't want to make these people wait......let's hope everything works alright for just one more flight!" C'mon. There are very good reasons for these rules. I asked someone what the problem was with the plane. This lady, while well meaning, explained it to me like I was 4 years old. I think she started by explaining to me that the plane had 3 wheels that come out from the bottom of the plane so we can land. Gee really? Thanks for clearing up that little misconception.
It turns out that there was some sort of problem with the brake fluid in the landing gear. I have no problems with them making sure that our plane will stop at the Portland airport and not continue to speed across the ground until we crash into the outlet mall in Troutdale. It was quite entertaining actually. We ended up not getting off the ground until midnight, and landed in Portland this morning at 8:15 am.....roughly 10 and a half hours late. Needless to say, I didn't go to work this morning.
Funny thing was that those 11 hours at the Maui airport were probably my favorite part of the entire trip. Strange? Maybe. But it was really the only time during the entire week that all 24 of use were in the same place at the same time for any extended period of time. We got to talk, play with the kids, eat together....basically it reminded all of us that we really were family, and we should start acting like it. I got to talk to my grandparents for a while, talk to my cousin and her husband in depth for the first time since their wedding, have a good time making fun of the cranky people in the terminal who were demanding compensation for their wait with my uncle, and really get to talk to my brother's girlfriends and get to know them a little better.
So really, while I enjoyed taking Jonah in the ocean for the first time (he's doesn't seem to hate it, but I'm not sure he likes it either), snorkeling, eating mahi-mahi, laying around in the sun, and swimming at sunset every evening, I can honestly say that spending 11 hours in a hot, sorta dirty airport was the highlight of my trip.
Plus, we did get compensated. Everyone got $300 flight vouchers.....so another trip to Hawaii might be in the works!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Oregon...too green for its own good
I'm all for saving the environment. In Oregon, we're all about the environment. People actually take ownership of their roads and highways, picking up trash and keeping Oregon green. I learned extremely early that littering is almost as severe an offense as spousal abuse. We recycle our aluminum cans, turn off lights when we leave rooms, etc. etc.
However, many people take this love of the earth a little too far. Not Cal-Berkeley "you can't cut down these 70 year old trees to build a building, so I'm going to live in them for 10 months" love, but we do try and live on both sides of the fence.
Here in Oregon, we have some of the cheapest energy in the country. This is in large part to the hydroelectric energy we get from dams on the Columbia. However, people are all up in arms about the salmon not being able to get past the dams. So we need to look elsewhere.
How about wind energy? The gorge is full of wind. Well, nobody wants turbines in the gorge because of its aesthetic beauty. Nobody wants to look around a windmill to get a view of Mt. Hood after a long hike. And we love our hikes here in Oregon.
What else is there? Well, there's geothermal energy. Build a power plant on a volcano and pumping superheated water and using the steam to spin the turbines. 100% clean, and totally renewable because the steam cools, turns back into water and is pumped back down into the ground to be reheated. Well, can't do that. The volcano is in a campground.
Wave energy is also an option. Use the tides and the ever-present open ocean waves to create energy. Well, our coastline is sacred and we don't want to look at these things bobbing up and down in the water. Plus, you have to anchor them to the ground, and what'll that do to the ocean's ecosystem?
Bottom line is that there's got to be some give and take. There's no solution that's going to be perfect. Use biodiesel? Well then there's less corn available for food stores and also to feed farm animals, now the prices of those things go up, hurting the agricultural economy. Nothing's perfect. Stop demanding cleaner energy if you're not willing to meet people halfway.
I kind of got off track here. I really wanted to talk about bicyclists. These champions of two-wheeled travel have an over inflated sense of self. They're doing their part for the environment and as such think that everyone who uses motorized transportation is raping the environment. I guess it's because of this moral higher ground they live on that they feel exempt to the traffic laws that pertain to every other mode of transportation. They don't stop at stop signs, they blow through unprotected left hand turns, and ride on sidewalks, forcing pedestrians - who are using the sidewalk for its intended purpose - to get out of their way. They aren't called sidepedals. That's what a bike lane is for. If a person on foot were strolling down a bike lane, can you imagine the hatred they would get from the bikers......or cyclists as they prefer to be called.
Anyways, what started this whole blog was this article I read on oregonlive.com this morning. I realize you've read this whole thing and are probably ready to check your facebook account right now, but I'd encourage you to read it. It's about a motorist who called a cyclist on his disregard for traffic laws and ended up getting beaten over the head by this guy's bike. It's pretty amazing, and the comments left by readers at the end are hilarious. Please check it out.
http://blog.oregonlive.com/breakingnews/2008/07/drunk_portland_cyclist_used_bi.html
However, many people take this love of the earth a little too far. Not Cal-Berkeley "you can't cut down these 70 year old trees to build a building, so I'm going to live in them for 10 months" love, but we do try and live on both sides of the fence.
Here in Oregon, we have some of the cheapest energy in the country. This is in large part to the hydroelectric energy we get from dams on the Columbia. However, people are all up in arms about the salmon not being able to get past the dams. So we need to look elsewhere.
How about wind energy? The gorge is full of wind. Well, nobody wants turbines in the gorge because of its aesthetic beauty. Nobody wants to look around a windmill to get a view of Mt. Hood after a long hike. And we love our hikes here in Oregon.
What else is there? Well, there's geothermal energy. Build a power plant on a volcano and pumping superheated water and using the steam to spin the turbines. 100% clean, and totally renewable because the steam cools, turns back into water and is pumped back down into the ground to be reheated. Well, can't do that. The volcano is in a campground.
Wave energy is also an option. Use the tides and the ever-present open ocean waves to create energy. Well, our coastline is sacred and we don't want to look at these things bobbing up and down in the water. Plus, you have to anchor them to the ground, and what'll that do to the ocean's ecosystem?
Bottom line is that there's got to be some give and take. There's no solution that's going to be perfect. Use biodiesel? Well then there's less corn available for food stores and also to feed farm animals, now the prices of those things go up, hurting the agricultural economy. Nothing's perfect. Stop demanding cleaner energy if you're not willing to meet people halfway.
I kind of got off track here. I really wanted to talk about bicyclists. These champions of two-wheeled travel have an over inflated sense of self. They're doing their part for the environment and as such think that everyone who uses motorized transportation is raping the environment. I guess it's because of this moral higher ground they live on that they feel exempt to the traffic laws that pertain to every other mode of transportation. They don't stop at stop signs, they blow through unprotected left hand turns, and ride on sidewalks, forcing pedestrians - who are using the sidewalk for its intended purpose - to get out of their way. They aren't called sidepedals. That's what a bike lane is for. If a person on foot were strolling down a bike lane, can you imagine the hatred they would get from the bikers......or cyclists as they prefer to be called.
Anyways, what started this whole blog was this article I read on oregonlive.com this morning. I realize you've read this whole thing and are probably ready to check your facebook account right now, but I'd encourage you to read it. It's about a motorist who called a cyclist on his disregard for traffic laws and ended up getting beaten over the head by this guy's bike. It's pretty amazing, and the comments left by readers at the end are hilarious. Please check it out.
http://blog.oregonlive.com/breakingnews/2008/07/drunk_portland_cyclist_used_bi.html
Sunday, July 6, 2008
San Francisco
It's a very artsy city. The people there love their museums. Rachel and I felt like fish out of water just walking around the city most of the time. My aunt had a dinner party and they talked about things that I don't think have ever come up at a dinner party in the city of Albany. Ever.
If you feed your 8 month old baby pears, he will poop. Immediately. Pears are the best laxative ever for a baby. At least our baby.
There might be more Cubs fans than Giants fans in the city of San Francisco. IT was louder in AT&T Park when the Cubs scored than when the Giants did, and the Giants won.
The Golden Gate bridge is harder to take a picture of than any other large object. The first time we drove out there, it was so crowded that the viewpoints were closed and we couldn't get out of the car to take a picture. The next day, it was so foggy that you could be standing on the bridge and still not get a picture that would prove you were there. The only pictures we got were from the Wharf, and even those aren't that great.
In all, it's a fun place to visit, but I don't think I'd ever want to live there. The people there treat yellow lights like green lights and red lights like yellows. I think I'd last about 2 days there before I got in some sort of wreck because I don't drive California-style.
I love public transportation....I just wish it was more convenient for me here in Albany.
If you feed your 8 month old baby pears, he will poop. Immediately. Pears are the best laxative ever for a baby. At least our baby.
There might be more Cubs fans than Giants fans in the city of San Francisco. IT was louder in AT&T Park when the Cubs scored than when the Giants did, and the Giants won.
The Golden Gate bridge is harder to take a picture of than any other large object. The first time we drove out there, it was so crowded that the viewpoints were closed and we couldn't get out of the car to take a picture. The next day, it was so foggy that you could be standing on the bridge and still not get a picture that would prove you were there. The only pictures we got were from the Wharf, and even those aren't that great.
In all, it's a fun place to visit, but I don't think I'd ever want to live there. The people there treat yellow lights like green lights and red lights like yellows. I think I'd last about 2 days there before I got in some sort of wreck because I don't drive California-style.
I love public transportation....I just wish it was more convenient for me here in Albany.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Interesting story
So I sort of have a crush on Becky Hammon. Have since she played at Colorado State and saw her play against the Beavers. It's kind of weird to say you have a crush on a WNBA player because of all the connotations of female pro athletes being lesbians and/or mannish. Anyways, I saw this story on her, and thought it was pretty interesting. Apparently, she's playing for the Russian national team in the Olympics. Anyways, check it out....I'd be interested to hear anyone's opinion on it.
The upside of a baby who doesn't sleep well
There is a good side to Jonah's sleepless nights. Since I'm only getting sleep in a few hour stints, I have more dreams, and I remember them better. In different dreams last night, one of my co-workers was my chauffeur, I was a college football player for Bucknell, I was able to find a Ford Bronco II exactly like the one that I had in high school before it was totalled only to get in a wreck and total it on the way home from the lot, and I was a ninja defending my grandparents house from a roving band of Mongols. That one was my favorite because I was the kind of ninja that could fly like in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
Of couse there is a downside to sleeping in two to three hour shifts. I freaking exhausted and staring eight hours of not so fun work in the face.
Rachel decided that we've been too lackadaisical about dinners lately, and that deciding what to eat at the last minute was not a good idea. Now we have weekly schedules, and it's awesome. Gives me something to look forward to. Now, instead of us both getting home and going "I dunno what I want, let's just have grilled cheese." or "well, fish sticks are easy, let's do that," we're forced to plan out meals. Last night we had buffalo burgers. Tonight it's turkey bratwurst, and tomorrow is chicken quesadillas. I love it, and I don't even mind the extra prep time at dinner, because I feel like I have to cook whatever it is because it's on the schedule. Not that I cook every night. Don't think that, because it's not true.
We replanted our front lawn a few months ago. It looks pretty good in most places, but around the edges it's a bit patchy. I tried putting down some more seed the other day, but I'm not very optimistic that it's going to fill out because it's not supposed to rain for the next week at least, and I can't water it during the day due to work. Guess I'll do the best I can and see what happens. I guess I could always put more seed down in the fall. I can tell you this though....I do not have a green thumb. I think it's more of a brownish color.
A couple weekends ago I went golfing and did relatively well. I felt like "hey, if I play a few more times, maybe I can significantly lower my score and compete with my friends." All of my friends (that enjoy playing golf) are significantly better than me. So I went to the driving range on Friday to practice. It was like I'd never played in my life. I was awful. Golf is a frustrating game.
My favorite songs of the moment are "Hip Hop Saved my Life" by Lupe Fiasco, "The Boss" by Rick Ross, and "Waking up in Vegas" by Katy Perry. All of these songs can be found in the playlist on my page. Check 'em out.
Of couse there is a downside to sleeping in two to three hour shifts. I freaking exhausted and staring eight hours of not so fun work in the face.
Rachel decided that we've been too lackadaisical about dinners lately, and that deciding what to eat at the last minute was not a good idea. Now we have weekly schedules, and it's awesome. Gives me something to look forward to. Now, instead of us both getting home and going "I dunno what I want, let's just have grilled cheese." or "well, fish sticks are easy, let's do that," we're forced to plan out meals. Last night we had buffalo burgers. Tonight it's turkey bratwurst, and tomorrow is chicken quesadillas. I love it, and I don't even mind the extra prep time at dinner, because I feel like I have to cook whatever it is because it's on the schedule. Not that I cook every night. Don't think that, because it's not true.
We replanted our front lawn a few months ago. It looks pretty good in most places, but around the edges it's a bit patchy. I tried putting down some more seed the other day, but I'm not very optimistic that it's going to fill out because it's not supposed to rain for the next week at least, and I can't water it during the day due to work. Guess I'll do the best I can and see what happens. I guess I could always put more seed down in the fall. I can tell you this though....I do not have a green thumb. I think it's more of a brownish color.
A couple weekends ago I went golfing and did relatively well. I felt like "hey, if I play a few more times, maybe I can significantly lower my score and compete with my friends." All of my friends (that enjoy playing golf) are significantly better than me. So I went to the driving range on Friday to practice. It was like I'd never played in my life. I was awful. Golf is a frustrating game.
My favorite songs of the moment are "Hip Hop Saved my Life" by Lupe Fiasco, "The Boss" by Rick Ross, and "Waking up in Vegas" by Katy Perry. All of these songs can be found in the playlist on my page. Check 'em out.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
More lunch angst
The hits never stop coming here in Corvallis.
As a thank you for our hard work and exemplary behavior during the trustee meetings last week, the Foundation sprung for pizza for the entire office for lunch today. Great right?
Oh, you are so wrong.
We have some sort of agreement with American Dream so they supply pizza to all our lunches in which pizza is the food of choice. Nothing wrong with that, I love American Dream pizza. For those of you who don't know the Dream, it's very popular here in Corvallis with the hippy/liberal segment of the population. I guess it's popular with everyone, but they definitely cater to that demographic. Obama's decision to eat lunch there when he cruised through town was no coincidence.
Anyways, whenever we order pizza from this place, whomever does the ordering feels the need to be trendy. We ordered 18 pizzas today, not one of which was pepperoni. None were cheese pizzas, none were hawaiian. There were some with pepperoni on them, but they also had artichokes, olives, and feta cheese.
I realize that there are people who enjoy pizza with roma tomoatoes, kalamata olives, artichoke, and roasted eggplant on them. But you'd think that they'd realize that in an office of nearly 100 people, there's a few that like traditional pizza. They'd throw us a bone and one of the 18 would not have gorgonzola or smoked gouda.
I don't think I can explain how frustrating this is to me. I realize I'm complaining about a free lunch, but c'mon. Do you even know what "fresh arugula" is? I don't. I don't want it on my pizza. I want ham and pineapple. I want pepperoni and sausage. I'll even concede for some garlic chicken.
ARGH!
As a thank you for our hard work and exemplary behavior during the trustee meetings last week, the Foundation sprung for pizza for the entire office for lunch today. Great right?
Oh, you are so wrong.
We have some sort of agreement with American Dream so they supply pizza to all our lunches in which pizza is the food of choice. Nothing wrong with that, I love American Dream pizza. For those of you who don't know the Dream, it's very popular here in Corvallis with the hippy/liberal segment of the population. I guess it's popular with everyone, but they definitely cater to that demographic. Obama's decision to eat lunch there when he cruised through town was no coincidence.
Anyways, whenever we order pizza from this place, whomever does the ordering feels the need to be trendy. We ordered 18 pizzas today, not one of which was pepperoni. None were cheese pizzas, none were hawaiian. There were some with pepperoni on them, but they also had artichokes, olives, and feta cheese.
I realize that there are people who enjoy pizza with roma tomoatoes, kalamata olives, artichoke, and roasted eggplant on them. But you'd think that they'd realize that in an office of nearly 100 people, there's a few that like traditional pizza. They'd throw us a bone and one of the 18 would not have gorgonzola or smoked gouda.
I don't think I can explain how frustrating this is to me. I realize I'm complaining about a free lunch, but c'mon. Do you even know what "fresh arugula" is? I don't. I don't want it on my pizza. I want ham and pineapple. I want pepperoni and sausage. I'll even concede for some garlic chicken.
ARGH!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Just let me eat my lunch!
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who feel the need to express their opinion for no reason other than to insult someone's beliefs and/or posessions. Telling the bride that her wedding would've been better if she'd picked better colors for instance. Or telling someone who had just scratched together enough money to buy their first home that their neighborhood sucks. There's no point in doing these things. There is a time and place to speak your mind, and telling someone you think they made a bad choice when they are not soliciting your opinion and it is obvious that they disagree is just plain ignorant.
Today I'm in the lunchroom heating up my Lean Pocket for lunch. I'd been looking forward to it all day. Few things during a normal work day give me as much pleasure as a ham n' cheese Lean Pocket cooked in a microwave for two minutes and fifteen seconds. As I'm preparing said meal, a coworker looks over at me and says "Lean Pocket, eh?" I say "you betcha Lean Pocket, they're delicious!" He then proceeds to tell me some story about how he bought a huge box of them at Costco, hates them, and has been trying to get rid of them forever without throwing them away. "As soon as the last one's gone, I'm never buying another Lean Pocket again," he says.
Another coworker hears this, and goes into this story about how she heard a comedian do a bit on Lean Pockets. "It was hilarious," she says. "He kept talking about the horrible things they did to his digestive system! I was crying I was laughing so hard! I know I'll never eat a Lean Pocket."
I know that both of these individuals heard me talk about how much I enjoyed eating a Lean Pocket. They both knew I was heating one up as they ridiculed and insulted the very thing I intended to consume as soon as I could extract it from its handy little warming sleeve.
Sadly, I was born without the confrontation gene. Because I get angry so infrequently, I'm not very good at it. My anger tends to boil at the wrong times. I've been known to shrug off being dumped, passed over for a position I deserve and being taken advantage of, while getting irrationally irate at things like a remote control not working or someone ordering a pizza without the toppings I like. This usually leads to me being laughed at.
So I bit my tongue and let these inconsiderate people bash my meal. I'll have to settle for retribution in the form of the people who read this laughing at these anonymous offenders and hope that in the future people with more balls than I have will tell such people that they are inconsiderate, self involved pricks who can take their opinions and suck 'em.
ARGH!
Today I'm in the lunchroom heating up my Lean Pocket for lunch. I'd been looking forward to it all day. Few things during a normal work day give me as much pleasure as a ham n' cheese Lean Pocket cooked in a microwave for two minutes and fifteen seconds. As I'm preparing said meal, a coworker looks over at me and says "Lean Pocket, eh?" I say "you betcha Lean Pocket, they're delicious!" He then proceeds to tell me some story about how he bought a huge box of them at Costco, hates them, and has been trying to get rid of them forever without throwing them away. "As soon as the last one's gone, I'm never buying another Lean Pocket again," he says.
Another coworker hears this, and goes into this story about how she heard a comedian do a bit on Lean Pockets. "It was hilarious," she says. "He kept talking about the horrible things they did to his digestive system! I was crying I was laughing so hard! I know I'll never eat a Lean Pocket."
I know that both of these individuals heard me talk about how much I enjoyed eating a Lean Pocket. They both knew I was heating one up as they ridiculed and insulted the very thing I intended to consume as soon as I could extract it from its handy little warming sleeve.
Sadly, I was born without the confrontation gene. Because I get angry so infrequently, I'm not very good at it. My anger tends to boil at the wrong times. I've been known to shrug off being dumped, passed over for a position I deserve and being taken advantage of, while getting irrationally irate at things like a remote control not working or someone ordering a pizza without the toppings I like. This usually leads to me being laughed at.
So I bit my tongue and let these inconsiderate people bash my meal. I'll have to settle for retribution in the form of the people who read this laughing at these anonymous offenders and hope that in the future people with more balls than I have will tell such people that they are inconsiderate, self involved pricks who can take their opinions and suck 'em.
ARGH!
Monday, June 9, 2008
Spending a weekend in the middle of nowhere
These days, if you're in an area with no cell phone range, you're in a pretty remote area. My sister lives in such an area. The place is Wildhorse Canyon, a Young Life camp outside of Antelope, Oregon. Antelope gained national prominence in the '80's thanks to the Rajneeshee movement. After the Rajneesh was kicked out of the US and his followers disbanded, the property they inhabited was sold and subsequently donated to Young Life for development of this camp. It's a pretty amazing place. Put it this way, it's 64,000 acres and you'd be hard pressed to find it without directions. Actually, you'd be hard pressed to find it with directions.
Colin, Grant and I made a trip out to visit Erin this weekend. We left Friday night and everything was going smoothly until we got to Antelope. There, the directions said "go through Antelope and take the first right on Cold Creek Road (about 3 miles) and take a left onto One Muddy Road" Well, that's to some roads with no signs, we came to an intersection at the very end of Antelope. Grant tells me that this must be Cold Creek Road because we're through Antelope, so we take a right and go three miles to One Muddy Road. Sounds good to me.
17 miles later we realized this was probably not the way we should have gone. Turns out that Cold Creek Road was 3 miles past Antelope. So there was some ambiguity in the directions, I wouldn't fully blame Grant. However, a 45 minute detour on an already 4 hour drive was not really fun.
The weekend was cool. Erin has worked out there for 3 full years, and before that was a summer worker for 4 summers, so she's kind of a big deal out there. We did all the fun camp things, including a 3 person swing in which they crank you up about 60 feet in the air and then just drop you and let you swing out over a creek bed. Basically if you haven't found God before you get on this thing, you'll find him about the time you start free falling out over nothing. There was also a zip line into a lake that will give you hypothermia if you stay in too long, and a "blob" which is hard to describe, but basically it's a half full giant airbag in the lake. One person sits on one end of the blob while another person jumps off a 17.5 foot tower onto the other end, thus launching the first person into the air. Kinda fun, but also slightly painful if you don't hit the blob or the water right.
We had a campfire, played frisbee golf, soccer, basketball and had a carnival one night, complete with ring toss, jousting, knocking milk jugs off a stand with a softball and popping balloons with darts. We also hiked up a hill called Communication, which is a huge misnomer because the hike is straight up and you can't communicate with anyone because it sucks the life right out you as you go up. Or maybe that was just me. Anyways, I'm freaking exhausted, and now I'm supposed to work a full work week? Bring it.
Colin, Grant and I made a trip out to visit Erin this weekend. We left Friday night and everything was going smoothly until we got to Antelope. There, the directions said "go through Antelope and take the first right on Cold Creek Road (about 3 miles) and take a left onto One Muddy Road" Well, that's to some roads with no signs, we came to an intersection at the very end of Antelope. Grant tells me that this must be Cold Creek Road because we're through Antelope, so we take a right and go three miles to One Muddy Road. Sounds good to me.
17 miles later we realized this was probably not the way we should have gone. Turns out that Cold Creek Road was 3 miles past Antelope. So there was some ambiguity in the directions, I wouldn't fully blame Grant. However, a 45 minute detour on an already 4 hour drive was not really fun.
The weekend was cool. Erin has worked out there for 3 full years, and before that was a summer worker for 4 summers, so she's kind of a big deal out there. We did all the fun camp things, including a 3 person swing in which they crank you up about 60 feet in the air and then just drop you and let you swing out over a creek bed. Basically if you haven't found God before you get on this thing, you'll find him about the time you start free falling out over nothing. There was also a zip line into a lake that will give you hypothermia if you stay in too long, and a "blob" which is hard to describe, but basically it's a half full giant airbag in the lake. One person sits on one end of the blob while another person jumps off a 17.5 foot tower onto the other end, thus launching the first person into the air. Kinda fun, but also slightly painful if you don't hit the blob or the water right.
We had a campfire, played frisbee golf, soccer, basketball and had a carnival one night, complete with ring toss, jousting, knocking milk jugs off a stand with a softball and popping balloons with darts. We also hiked up a hill called Communication, which is a huge misnomer because the hike is straight up and you can't communicate with anyone because it sucks the life right out you as you go up. Or maybe that was just me. Anyways, I'm freaking exhausted, and now I'm supposed to work a full work week? Bring it.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Blog slacking
My rate of posting has gone down dramatically lately. Does it have anything to do with having a child? Probably. Does it have more to do with me just not really wanting to do it? Most likely. However, I've noticed that I'm less than 500 views from 10,000 on this here bloggy, so I'm hopping back on the saddle. I've got a purpose again.
Being the parent is all about milestones. You're always looking forward to the next rung on the ladder. First you wait for them to start babbling. As soon as they start babbling, you look forward to them rolling over from their stomach to their back. After that, you eagerly await their first back to front flip. Then it's sitting up on their own. That's where we are now. Jonah's mastered all of the previous steps (along with turing himself 90 degrees in his sleep so that his legs stick out between the slats in his crib and blowing snot bubbles the size of small water balloons) so now we wait for him crawl. This is a scary one, because soon he'll be mobile. Gone will be the days of setting him in the middle of the living room and running to the bathroom. We have to baby-proof everything. That bottle of Dran-o under the sink is about to become a level orange threat. But of course it will also be exciting because then we're looking forward to the walking/talking phase of our little man's life.
If I had to grade my parenting skills thus far, I'd give myself a solid B-. I haven't made any major mistakes (dropping the kid, putting vodka in his bottle, letting him lay out in the sun on a 90 degree day). I'm not ready to give myself a gold medal either. Today I put Jonah in his jammies before Rachel got home, thinking she'd be impressed that I got him fed, changed and in bed before 7:30. She was impressed....impressed that I put him in the jammies he peed all over the night before. Like I said....solid B-.
In other news, given the dearth of quality tv on during the summer, I've been catching up on some old movies. O Brother Where Art Thou just jumped into my top 5 favorite movies. George Clooney is fantastic in that movie. He also jumped into my top 5 guys I'd like to be, along with LeBron James, Will Smith, Usain Bolt (c'mon, like you wouldn't like to run 100 meters in 9.72 seconds) and Jared from Subway. That guy made millions eating sandwiches. Think about it.
Other movies I'd recommend are Secondhand Lions, The Towering Inferno, Angels in the Outfield (the original 1951 version) and Field of Dreams....still my favorite movie of all time. While we were in Wisconsin, we took a trip to visit the field, which is still standing in Iowa. I'd recommend going in late August or September, when there's actually corn. The field isn't the same with no corn fence. Still very very cool though.
If I'm ever wrongly convicted of murder and sentenced to death, my last meal will be hawaiian pizza and a 12 pack of Pepsi. Let's hope this never happens.
Today was the first time in my life that I've ever worried about gas prices. Seriously. Never affected me at all until today. I paid over $50 to fill up my tank today. Then Rachel brought up the point that I'm driving to Antelope, OR this weekend, we're driving to Portland next weekend, she's driving back to Portland that Tuesday to pick up her mom at the airport, we have a wedding in Portland the weekend after that, we have to take her mom back to the Airport, and then we're driving to the airport ourselves on July 3rd to fly to San Francisco. Add in driving to work and the fact that gas will probably increase between now and July 4th and I'm guessing we'll spend almost $500 in gas in the next month. That's close to double what we normally spend.
Speaking of oil, someone needs to explain something to me - people always get pissed that we're in this war that's all about oil. Yet these same people are pissed about the price of oil in this country. If we're fighting to gain control of the oil, doesn't it stand to reason that we'd pay less for it? I am by no means a market analyst, but that makes sense to me. *Disclaimer* I'm not supporting the idea of invading countries to get natural resources we don't have in this country. Please don't think I'm a war monger. I'm not. Just giving you all something to think about.
I don't think it matters one bit what McCain and Obama say in their upcoming debates. How they say it is going to determine the presidency. And how Obama says what he says is going to make him the next president. He could say he's in favor of increasing taxes, euthanizing the unemployed, and deporting left-handers and he'd still get elected. By the time he's done speaking, you'd be saying "you know, that Obama feller has a point about leftys. I never did have a good feeling about them."
Yes, I know Barry's a lefty. So's McCain. I'm just sayin'.
Being the parent is all about milestones. You're always looking forward to the next rung on the ladder. First you wait for them to start babbling. As soon as they start babbling, you look forward to them rolling over from their stomach to their back. After that, you eagerly await their first back to front flip. Then it's sitting up on their own. That's where we are now. Jonah's mastered all of the previous steps (along with turing himself 90 degrees in his sleep so that his legs stick out between the slats in his crib and blowing snot bubbles the size of small water balloons) so now we wait for him crawl. This is a scary one, because soon he'll be mobile. Gone will be the days of setting him in the middle of the living room and running to the bathroom. We have to baby-proof everything. That bottle of Dran-o under the sink is about to become a level orange threat. But of course it will also be exciting because then we're looking forward to the walking/talking phase of our little man's life.
If I had to grade my parenting skills thus far, I'd give myself a solid B-. I haven't made any major mistakes (dropping the kid, putting vodka in his bottle, letting him lay out in the sun on a 90 degree day). I'm not ready to give myself a gold medal either. Today I put Jonah in his jammies before Rachel got home, thinking she'd be impressed that I got him fed, changed and in bed before 7:30. She was impressed....impressed that I put him in the jammies he peed all over the night before. Like I said....solid B-.
In other news, given the dearth of quality tv on during the summer, I've been catching up on some old movies. O Brother Where Art Thou just jumped into my top 5 favorite movies. George Clooney is fantastic in that movie. He also jumped into my top 5 guys I'd like to be, along with LeBron James, Will Smith, Usain Bolt (c'mon, like you wouldn't like to run 100 meters in 9.72 seconds) and Jared from Subway. That guy made millions eating sandwiches. Think about it.
Other movies I'd recommend are Secondhand Lions, The Towering Inferno, Angels in the Outfield (the original 1951 version) and Field of Dreams....still my favorite movie of all time. While we were in Wisconsin, we took a trip to visit the field, which is still standing in Iowa. I'd recommend going in late August or September, when there's actually corn. The field isn't the same with no corn fence. Still very very cool though.
If I'm ever wrongly convicted of murder and sentenced to death, my last meal will be hawaiian pizza and a 12 pack of Pepsi. Let's hope this never happens.
Today was the first time in my life that I've ever worried about gas prices. Seriously. Never affected me at all until today. I paid over $50 to fill up my tank today. Then Rachel brought up the point that I'm driving to Antelope, OR this weekend, we're driving to Portland next weekend, she's driving back to Portland that Tuesday to pick up her mom at the airport, we have a wedding in Portland the weekend after that, we have to take her mom back to the Airport, and then we're driving to the airport ourselves on July 3rd to fly to San Francisco. Add in driving to work and the fact that gas will probably increase between now and July 4th and I'm guessing we'll spend almost $500 in gas in the next month. That's close to double what we normally spend.
Speaking of oil, someone needs to explain something to me - people always get pissed that we're in this war that's all about oil. Yet these same people are pissed about the price of oil in this country. If we're fighting to gain control of the oil, doesn't it stand to reason that we'd pay less for it? I am by no means a market analyst, but that makes sense to me. *Disclaimer* I'm not supporting the idea of invading countries to get natural resources we don't have in this country. Please don't think I'm a war monger. I'm not. Just giving you all something to think about.
I don't think it matters one bit what McCain and Obama say in their upcoming debates. How they say it is going to determine the presidency. And how Obama says what he says is going to make him the next president. He could say he's in favor of increasing taxes, euthanizing the unemployed, and deporting left-handers and he'd still get elected. By the time he's done speaking, you'd be saying "you know, that Obama feller has a point about leftys. I never did have a good feeling about them."
Yes, I know Barry's a lefty. So's McCain. I'm just sayin'.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Back in the Heartland
Greetings from Smalltown USA! Rachel and Jonah and I have been back in Wisconsin visiting Rachel's parents for the week. The weather has been surprisingly nice, and it's been one relaxing vacation for us. Let me tell you why I like coming back here:
- It's the kind of place where your cousin's husband's parents buy your grandma's old house. True story.
- It's the kind of place where they announce your cousin's birthday at the supermarket. A supermarket, by the way, that the same people you used to bag groceries with 10 years ago still work there.
- It's the kind of place where someone you know drops by almost daily because "they heard from someone" that you were back in town and wanted to check out your new baby.
- It's the kind of place where the main staples of every meal are meat, cheese, and beer. Cheddar is the cheese topping of choice on pizzas. Where the best bar in town also happens to be the bowling alley, which also happens to be the best place to hold an event such as a reunion.
I love coming here for all these reasons. I also love it because it makes my wife happy to see all her friends and family, the people she doesn't get to see as often as she'd like because she made the somewhat strange choice to marry this gray-haired weirdo from Oregon.
- It's the kind of place where your cousin's husband's parents buy your grandma's old house. True story.
- It's the kind of place where they announce your cousin's birthday at the supermarket. A supermarket, by the way, that the same people you used to bag groceries with 10 years ago still work there.
- It's the kind of place where someone you know drops by almost daily because "they heard from someone" that you were back in town and wanted to check out your new baby.
- It's the kind of place where the main staples of every meal are meat, cheese, and beer. Cheddar is the cheese topping of choice on pizzas. Where the best bar in town also happens to be the bowling alley, which also happens to be the best place to hold an event such as a reunion.
I love coming here for all these reasons. I also love it because it makes my wife happy to see all her friends and family, the people she doesn't get to see as often as she'd like because she made the somewhat strange choice to marry this gray-haired weirdo from Oregon.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
The things you overhear at work
The things you overhear at work
Yes, these conversations actually happened:
"Hey, when's Cinco De Mayo?"
"May 5."
"Gotcha, thanks."
"I love having all this useless knowledge at my disposal!"
......................
"Hey, what state is abbreviated MI?"
"I think it's Michigan, but I suppose it could be Mississippi."
"Mississippi? That's not a state is it?"
(Granted this conversation involved a person not native to the US, but still)
...................
God bless work!
Yes, these conversations actually happened:
"Hey, when's Cinco De Mayo?"
"May 5."
"Gotcha, thanks."
"I love having all this useless knowledge at my disposal!"
......................
"Hey, what state is abbreviated MI?"
"I think it's Michigan, but I suppose it could be Mississippi."
"Mississippi? That's not a state is it?"
(Granted this conversation involved a person not native to the US, but still)
...................
God bless work!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Ballad of the Older than Average Student
Somebody needs to explain to me why there's always one older than average student in every single college class. They also need to explain to me why they always feel the need to sit in the front row. I also need to know why the older than average student almost always feels compelled to raise their hand every 2 minutes and either argue with the professor or in some way interject their own opinion into the lecture.
Now, before you start smirking and eagerly click the comment button to make some sort of joke about me being that older than average student, know that I already thought of that joke. So save it. I'm not talking about myself, smartypants. I sit in the back with the athletes and stare at the doodles on my desk like a normal college student.
We have a guy, probably in his early 40's, who talks constantly. We're only in the third week of the term, and he's already comfortable enough not to raise his hand anymore before running his mouth about some personal experience of his. It's a business law class. Our instructor is a former lawyer. We're getting all the first hand knowledge we need from him. Yesterday we learned how his car was hit by a drunk driver while parked on the street 8 years ago and he's still trying to collect money from the guy. He's forking out $6,000 a year in lawyer fees. At this point, he's already spent at least $48,000 trying to recoup money for a car that probably wasn't worth that much. He claimed he drove a Porsche, but I have my doubts. Even if he does win at this point, he's still lost. Let it go.
We're already a full day's lecture behind because of this guy. Seriously. We've had 5 lectures total, and we've only got through 4 lectures worth of material. Our professor will say something pretty general, and Mr. Porsche is always right there to say "well, that's not always true." It's like he knows the exception to every rule. We get it. We get that the world doesn't always abide by its own rules. We get it. Let it go. My favorite was yesterday when he felt the need to interrupt the lecture because he felt that "it was important for everyone in the class to know" some minor detail about public defenders and their ability to go after clandestine meth labs. If it's important for everyone to know, don't you think our teacher is going to cover it? Don't you think we're going to have a quiz on it? Don't you think it will be in the muthaf*cking book if clandestine meth lab crime fighting is relevant to us?
I really can't for the life of me figure out why the older than average student can't figure out that everyone in the class hates them. Did they never go to college when they were of normal age? Did they not hate the older than average student themselves? Why sit in the front row? Can't you see just as well from the third? You already stick out like a sore thumb. Hell, I'm the only person in the class with gray hair wearing a polo and khakis every day. I know that people are like "what's up with that guy?" I get it. I can see fine from the back of class. I keep my yapper shut, unless I'm confused about something, or the prof asks a question and nobody else is answering. I want the class to keep moving. I don't want to be blindsided on a test by a question that we didn't get to cover in class because Porsche McDouche was jacking his jaws.
There's a saying in poker that if you can't spot the sucker at the table, it's you. Well if you can't spot the person in class that everyone hates, it's probably you. In that sense, it's probably a good thing he's in the class, because I'm probably public enemy 2. Either me, or girl who never remembers to put her cell phone on vibrate and gets at least one call per class. Hopefully she gets a new ringtone soon. I'm getting a little sick of Fergie.
Now, before you start smirking and eagerly click the comment button to make some sort of joke about me being that older than average student, know that I already thought of that joke. So save it. I'm not talking about myself, smartypants. I sit in the back with the athletes and stare at the doodles on my desk like a normal college student.
We have a guy, probably in his early 40's, who talks constantly. We're only in the third week of the term, and he's already comfortable enough not to raise his hand anymore before running his mouth about some personal experience of his. It's a business law class. Our instructor is a former lawyer. We're getting all the first hand knowledge we need from him. Yesterday we learned how his car was hit by a drunk driver while parked on the street 8 years ago and he's still trying to collect money from the guy. He's forking out $6,000 a year in lawyer fees. At this point, he's already spent at least $48,000 trying to recoup money for a car that probably wasn't worth that much. He claimed he drove a Porsche, but I have my doubts. Even if he does win at this point, he's still lost. Let it go.
We're already a full day's lecture behind because of this guy. Seriously. We've had 5 lectures total, and we've only got through 4 lectures worth of material. Our professor will say something pretty general, and Mr. Porsche is always right there to say "well, that's not always true." It's like he knows the exception to every rule. We get it. We get that the world doesn't always abide by its own rules. We get it. Let it go. My favorite was yesterday when he felt the need to interrupt the lecture because he felt that "it was important for everyone in the class to know" some minor detail about public defenders and their ability to go after clandestine meth labs. If it's important for everyone to know, don't you think our teacher is going to cover it? Don't you think we're going to have a quiz on it? Don't you think it will be in the muthaf*cking book if clandestine meth lab crime fighting is relevant to us?
I really can't for the life of me figure out why the older than average student can't figure out that everyone in the class hates them. Did they never go to college when they were of normal age? Did they not hate the older than average student themselves? Why sit in the front row? Can't you see just as well from the third? You already stick out like a sore thumb. Hell, I'm the only person in the class with gray hair wearing a polo and khakis every day. I know that people are like "what's up with that guy?" I get it. I can see fine from the back of class. I keep my yapper shut, unless I'm confused about something, or the prof asks a question and nobody else is answering. I want the class to keep moving. I don't want to be blindsided on a test by a question that we didn't get to cover in class because Porsche McDouche was jacking his jaws.
There's a saying in poker that if you can't spot the sucker at the table, it's you. Well if you can't spot the person in class that everyone hates, it's probably you. In that sense, it's probably a good thing he's in the class, because I'm probably public enemy 2. Either me, or girl who never remembers to put her cell phone on vibrate and gets at least one call per class. Hopefully she gets a new ringtone soon. I'm getting a little sick of Fergie.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Into the Wild, Out of Reality
Just saw the movie Into the Wild Saturday night. I’m going to warn you right now that I’m going to talk about the whole movie, so if you haven’t seen it, or want to see it, stop reading. I’d hate to spoil it for you the way the lady at Hollywood Video ruined it for me.
We good? Everyone? Ok, moving on.
What a strange movie. It was long, it was boring, but still interesting. While I have great respect for people who are internally motivated and independant and all that, I don’t understand some people’s intense desire to be on their own. This guy in the movie, he goes to college and gets a degree for no apparent reason. I didn’t really understand why he finished school. It seemed to be a favor to his parents, yet it was evident from very early on in the movie that he despised them. He then sets out on this journey across the country without any sort of ID (he either cuts up or burns all his identification) and renames himself Alexander Supertramp. He does some cool stuff, meets some new people and seems to be having a good time. I mean, he became a combine driver, hung out with some pretty cool farmer types in South Dakota, hangs out with some hippies on the pacific coast, and learns how to work leather with a very nice old dude in Arizona. He kayaks down the Colorado River into Mexico, meeting some crazy Norwegians. All pretty cool stuff. Yet in between these good times, he just goes into these modes of complete isolation. I thought it was blatantly obvious that the happiest time in his life were when he was with friends. I’m sure that was the intent of the filmmakers, but you don’t have to look real hard to see this. Seems everyone knew it but Captain Supertramp.
This is where I have a complete disagreement with Mr. Supertramp. It seems that he’s trying to be this totally individual person, not influenced by anyone. Yet he’s constantly reading books for inspiration. He then gets this brilliant idea to move to Alaska and live off the land. Sounds like a good idea, if you’ve got a companion. Why anyone would want to live in complete isolation is beyond me. THAT IS WHAT WE DO TO THE WORST CRIMINALS IN PRISON!!!! This guy does it willingly? Whatever. He seems to be trying to prove something to himself, but really he’s doing it for the approval of others. He wants people to think he’s cool, to admire him. That’s why everyone who does these isolation things always keeps a journal. So they can tell people about it later. Here’s an idea....take them along with you, and then you don’t have to spend the time writing. Of course, the guy is woefully under educated in living off the land and runs into all sorts of trouble. At one point, he seems to finally grasp that not having human interaction or relationships is not fun and decides to head home. Of course, the way he came is blocked by a raging river, and he is forced back into isolation until the river dries up a little bit. Well, he ends up not making it because he can’t find enough to eat, then eats a poisonous plant and dies. Before he dies, he writes "happiness only real if shared." That’s my whole freaking point! What good is it to do things if you have nobody to share them with? I mean, I’m proud of the guy for figuring it out on his own, but I didn’t need to live in an abandoned bus in the middle of the Yukon Territory to figure it out. Also, before he dies, he writes a goodbye note and signs it with his real name. Funny how you remember what’s really important (family) only when faced with death.
I did a little research on this guy, and it turns out that if he’d only taken a map, he would’ve realized that there was a way to cross the river only a quarter of a mile upstream. If he’d learned how to preserve meat properly, he probably wouldn’t have had to eat the poisonous plants. And most importantly, if he’d taken somebody with him, my guess is that the other person would’ve talked some sense into him long before the situation became dire.
So yeah, it was an interesting movie, but now I’m worried that a whole new generation of young people are going to think that doing stuff like this and dying in the outback. I heard that the place he died in Alaska is a tourist attraction. Glad we can all marvel at this guy’s stupidity.
Speaking of stupidity, when I pulled the movie off the shelf, there was a couple of women walking the other way. I had the movie in my hand and hadn’t taken more than two steps when one of these women points to the movie on the shelf and says "you know, I thought that was a good movie, but it just ruined the whole thing when he died at the end." Thanks lady.
We good? Everyone? Ok, moving on.
What a strange movie. It was long, it was boring, but still interesting. While I have great respect for people who are internally motivated and independant and all that, I don’t understand some people’s intense desire to be on their own. This guy in the movie, he goes to college and gets a degree for no apparent reason. I didn’t really understand why he finished school. It seemed to be a favor to his parents, yet it was evident from very early on in the movie that he despised them. He then sets out on this journey across the country without any sort of ID (he either cuts up or burns all his identification) and renames himself Alexander Supertramp. He does some cool stuff, meets some new people and seems to be having a good time. I mean, he became a combine driver, hung out with some pretty cool farmer types in South Dakota, hangs out with some hippies on the pacific coast, and learns how to work leather with a very nice old dude in Arizona. He kayaks down the Colorado River into Mexico, meeting some crazy Norwegians. All pretty cool stuff. Yet in between these good times, he just goes into these modes of complete isolation. I thought it was blatantly obvious that the happiest time in his life were when he was with friends. I’m sure that was the intent of the filmmakers, but you don’t have to look real hard to see this. Seems everyone knew it but Captain Supertramp.
This is where I have a complete disagreement with Mr. Supertramp. It seems that he’s trying to be this totally individual person, not influenced by anyone. Yet he’s constantly reading books for inspiration. He then gets this brilliant idea to move to Alaska and live off the land. Sounds like a good idea, if you’ve got a companion. Why anyone would want to live in complete isolation is beyond me. THAT IS WHAT WE DO TO THE WORST CRIMINALS IN PRISON!!!! This guy does it willingly? Whatever. He seems to be trying to prove something to himself, but really he’s doing it for the approval of others. He wants people to think he’s cool, to admire him. That’s why everyone who does these isolation things always keeps a journal. So they can tell people about it later. Here’s an idea....take them along with you, and then you don’t have to spend the time writing. Of course, the guy is woefully under educated in living off the land and runs into all sorts of trouble. At one point, he seems to finally grasp that not having human interaction or relationships is not fun and decides to head home. Of course, the way he came is blocked by a raging river, and he is forced back into isolation until the river dries up a little bit. Well, he ends up not making it because he can’t find enough to eat, then eats a poisonous plant and dies. Before he dies, he writes "happiness only real if shared." That’s my whole freaking point! What good is it to do things if you have nobody to share them with? I mean, I’m proud of the guy for figuring it out on his own, but I didn’t need to live in an abandoned bus in the middle of the Yukon Territory to figure it out. Also, before he dies, he writes a goodbye note and signs it with his real name. Funny how you remember what’s really important (family) only when faced with death.
I did a little research on this guy, and it turns out that if he’d only taken a map, he would’ve realized that there was a way to cross the river only a quarter of a mile upstream. If he’d learned how to preserve meat properly, he probably wouldn’t have had to eat the poisonous plants. And most importantly, if he’d taken somebody with him, my guess is that the other person would’ve talked some sense into him long before the situation became dire.
So yeah, it was an interesting movie, but now I’m worried that a whole new generation of young people are going to think that doing stuff like this and dying in the outback. I heard that the place he died in Alaska is a tourist attraction. Glad we can all marvel at this guy’s stupidity.
Speaking of stupidity, when I pulled the movie off the shelf, there was a couple of women walking the other way. I had the movie in my hand and hadn’t taken more than two steps when one of these women points to the movie on the shelf and says "you know, I thought that was a good movie, but it just ruined the whole thing when he died at the end." Thanks lady.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Babies: It's not a competition
No matter what, you always think your baby is the cutest baby in the world. People warned me that I’d think my baby was cuter than any other child. I figured that I’d be objective, and after all the kid’s got my genes so really, how cute could he be? And then he was born and I was like "Jesus, he’s gorgeous!" It’s inevitable. This continues until you meet up with other parents with similarly aged children. Then everything turns into a competition. You can’t help it. You’re constantly sizing up your kid against theirs. One parent will say "oh, he started on solid foods this week," knowing full well that their baby is ahead of schedule on that. The other parents, who are not to the solid food stage, will counter with "yeah, we’re not quite there yet, but little Timmy can roll over from his back to his stomach!" This of course results in a tie score of 1-1, and you then move on to round 2.
Rachel and I have always had a trump card. No matter what other parents said, we could always resort to "Jonah’s been sleeping through the night since he was 3 weeks old." No other parent that I’ve met to date has been so lucky. I thought we were like the best parents in the world. Actually I should say that I thought Rachel was the best mother in the world, and I had somehow not figured out a way to screw it up yet.
Then daylight savings time hit. I have no idea if his circadian rhythms are screwed up or what, but since then we’ve had a hell of a time getting him to sleep. He’ll be sleeping soundly in our laps, but once we move to the crib, he just freaks out. Like uncontrollably. You know how they tell you to let your baby cry itself to sleep, so it learns that you won’t be there every time? You try letting your son cry so hard tears are coming out of his eyes, snots flying out of his nose and he’s screaming so hard he’s forgetting to breathe. Just try it and see how long it takes you to respond. So we have to pick him up and rock him. He usually falls asleep again in a few minutes, so we go back to the crib and here come the water works again. He’s been spending the last few nights attached to Rachel’s boob all night. Great for him, not so great for us. Not much sleep for us. Tonight was a little bit better, he only cried and flipped out for about 45 minutes, but he’s sleeping soundly now.
So yeah, we’ve lost our trump card. But he’s still our little boy and we love him!
Rachel and I have always had a trump card. No matter what other parents said, we could always resort to "Jonah’s been sleeping through the night since he was 3 weeks old." No other parent that I’ve met to date has been so lucky. I thought we were like the best parents in the world. Actually I should say that I thought Rachel was the best mother in the world, and I had somehow not figured out a way to screw it up yet.
Then daylight savings time hit. I have no idea if his circadian rhythms are screwed up or what, but since then we’ve had a hell of a time getting him to sleep. He’ll be sleeping soundly in our laps, but once we move to the crib, he just freaks out. Like uncontrollably. You know how they tell you to let your baby cry itself to sleep, so it learns that you won’t be there every time? You try letting your son cry so hard tears are coming out of his eyes, snots flying out of his nose and he’s screaming so hard he’s forgetting to breathe. Just try it and see how long it takes you to respond. So we have to pick him up and rock him. He usually falls asleep again in a few minutes, so we go back to the crib and here come the water works again. He’s been spending the last few nights attached to Rachel’s boob all night. Great for him, not so great for us. Not much sleep for us. Tonight was a little bit better, he only cried and flipped out for about 45 minutes, but he’s sleeping soundly now.
So yeah, we’ve lost our trump card. But he’s still our little boy and we love him!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Been Slackin'
So the Snacks blog has been on hiatus for a while. No particular reason, just haven't really had anything interesting to talk about. I'm trying hard not to make this a "Jonah did this, Jonah did that, Jonah's the BEST BABY YOU'VE EVER FREAKING SEEN" blog that so many other parents do. We all love our own kids, everyone knows that, we don't need to brag about how they start rolling over or how they smile everytime we imitate Foghorn Leghorn. Besides, I think the 6000 pictures Rachel and I have posted of him are enough to prove we think the world of the little tyke. Besides, Jonah had a Dr.'s appointment yesterday. He was in the 50th percentile in every category they measured him in. He's the most average baby ever. I don't really have anything to brag about.
A few other things I've been marinating on lately:
- Last weekend I went to the OSU baseball game at PGE Park. I saw a few people I went to high school with at West Linn. One of the girls I had a crush on. She was drunk and had to hold onto the guy she's with to stay up. This other guy had his hat on backwards and his pants were about 8 sizes too big for him and he was jumping around like he was still in high school. THESE WERE THE COOL KIDS!!! What the hell happened? How did these people not grow up? It also made me realize how lucky I was that I was socially inept until about the time I was 23 and met Rachel. Can you imagine if I'd ended up with a girl who still pre-func'ed baseball games at 29 years of age? Wow.
- I saw a guy yesterday driving a convertible with the top down. If there's one thing that should be banned in Oregon, it's convertibles. I know that yesterday was a nice day....almost sixty degrees. I don't think I'd have a problem with him driving around a convertible then....but I saw this individual at 7:15 in the morning. It was 37 degrees at that time and this guy had all his windows rolled up (if it's too cold to have the window down, don't you think it's too cold to have no roof?). To make matters worse, HE WAS WEARING EARMUFFS!! Stupid Oregonians. If you're so in love with the sun that you have to do things of this nature, please move out of Oregon immediately. Gjurg told me there's plenty of convertible weather in Florida. Try there.
- Yesterday one of my co-workers was incredibly efficient. I guess I should say that she was incredibly efficient relative to her normal work output. I was thinking "well, this is kinda nice." Then she promptly took the afternoon off because she wasn't feeling well. I have no idea if her efficiency can be linked to the fact that she wanted to go home early, but it sure was suspect to me. I'm predicting she doesn't show up on time today, if at all.
- I'm so glad that basketball season is almost over for OSU. The games are getting more and more depressing. I've never seen a more poorly coached team. I've never seen a team show so little pride out on the court. And I've seen more fans at OSU volleyball matches. It's getting out of hand. I think that everyone is just playing out the string until a new coach is hired and they can start fresh. However, I'm beginning to have my doubts that these guys will play harder for any coach when they don't seem able to play hard for themselves. Sad, sad situation, especially since I had faith in a lot of these guys.
- Major League Baseball is now requiring base coaches to wear helmets. Another example of overreaction. A minor league coach was hit and killed last year. However, if I remember correctly he was hit in the neck area, where a helmet isn't really going to provide all that much protection. Unfortunately, freak accidents happen. Trying to prevent every single one of them is unreasonable. If this carried over from the sports world to real life, all our tables and chairs would come equipped with foam padding around the edges and cars would be limited to 25 MPH. The first thing that you learn in any sport is to KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL. What happens when a guy takes a line drive off the chest and dies? Are we going to require everyone to wear chest protectors?
A few other things I've been marinating on lately:
- Last weekend I went to the OSU baseball game at PGE Park. I saw a few people I went to high school with at West Linn. One of the girls I had a crush on. She was drunk and had to hold onto the guy she's with to stay up. This other guy had his hat on backwards and his pants were about 8 sizes too big for him and he was jumping around like he was still in high school. THESE WERE THE COOL KIDS!!! What the hell happened? How did these people not grow up? It also made me realize how lucky I was that I was socially inept until about the time I was 23 and met Rachel. Can you imagine if I'd ended up with a girl who still pre-func'ed baseball games at 29 years of age? Wow.
- I saw a guy yesterday driving a convertible with the top down. If there's one thing that should be banned in Oregon, it's convertibles. I know that yesterday was a nice day....almost sixty degrees. I don't think I'd have a problem with him driving around a convertible then....but I saw this individual at 7:15 in the morning. It was 37 degrees at that time and this guy had all his windows rolled up (if it's too cold to have the window down, don't you think it's too cold to have no roof?). To make matters worse, HE WAS WEARING EARMUFFS!! Stupid Oregonians. If you're so in love with the sun that you have to do things of this nature, please move out of Oregon immediately. Gjurg told me there's plenty of convertible weather in Florida. Try there.
- Yesterday one of my co-workers was incredibly efficient. I guess I should say that she was incredibly efficient relative to her normal work output. I was thinking "well, this is kinda nice." Then she promptly took the afternoon off because she wasn't feeling well. I have no idea if her efficiency can be linked to the fact that she wanted to go home early, but it sure was suspect to me. I'm predicting she doesn't show up on time today, if at all.
- I'm so glad that basketball season is almost over for OSU. The games are getting more and more depressing. I've never seen a more poorly coached team. I've never seen a team show so little pride out on the court. And I've seen more fans at OSU volleyball matches. It's getting out of hand. I think that everyone is just playing out the string until a new coach is hired and they can start fresh. However, I'm beginning to have my doubts that these guys will play harder for any coach when they don't seem able to play hard for themselves. Sad, sad situation, especially since I had faith in a lot of these guys.
- Major League Baseball is now requiring base coaches to wear helmets. Another example of overreaction. A minor league coach was hit and killed last year. However, if I remember correctly he was hit in the neck area, where a helmet isn't really going to provide all that much protection. Unfortunately, freak accidents happen. Trying to prevent every single one of them is unreasonable. If this carried over from the sports world to real life, all our tables and chairs would come equipped with foam padding around the edges and cars would be limited to 25 MPH. The first thing that you learn in any sport is to KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL. What happens when a guy takes a line drive off the chest and dies? Are we going to require everyone to wear chest protectors?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Valentine's Backlash
Have you noticed an absolute backlash against Valentine's Day over the past few years? People all of a sudden hate this day. Single people hate it because they don't have a Valentine and are constantly reminded of this during the weeks leading up to the biggest date night of the year. Every commercial on the tv or radio is about girls getting cars and pajamas and rings and chocolates from her man. Single women are pissed because they know they're not getting a car or a ring. Single men are pissed because they don't get to buy a car or a ring or even chocolate for a girl, which of course means they won't be having sex tonight.
People lucky (or unlucky depending on your point of view) enough to have a significant other hate the holiday because there's pressure on them too. Pressure to find the right car or ring. Pressure to perform in the bedroom. Pressure to look pretty and smile and say a bunch of mushy ooey gooey things you said when you first met only because you REALLY wanted to see the other person naked.
So everyone bitches and grouses about how this was a holiday co-invented by Hallmark and Zales while forgetting what the holiday is really about. It's about spending time in the company of someone you love and remembering why you love them in the first place. If you're currently without a "lover," today's a great day to either tell someone you'd like to get the chance to love them, or go get sloppy drunk with some single friends and have a good time.
I'm sure St. Valentine would be happy to know that people are cursing his name and saying his holiday is a sham. Have some respect for the dead people!
I thought I'd include a few personal Valentine's Day stories to end this blog.
Rachel and I are spending Valentine's Day this year by going to an OSU basketball game with Jonah after work. My grandparents will be there and they would like to see Jonah one more time before we fly to Wisconsin to get him baptized on Sunday. Then we'll probably come home, make some dinner and watch a few episodes of Friends in bed. The end. Nothing fancy, no overblown gifts to try and "out-love" one another. We'll probably go out to dinner tomorrow night in Portland since we're going that way to get on a plane Saturday anyways. And of course, I'll tell her I love her just as I do every other day.
My worst Valentine's Day ever was the year in college when I got a call from the house mom of the Chi Omega sorority. She told me she was trying to organize an event for the single girls of the house, knew I was friends with some of them, and wondered if I'd be interested in going out to dinner with some of them. I thought it sounded like a better idea than sitting online and chatting with some bitter girl in Florida who was home alone so I said I was in. So I show up at the restaurant to find 16 single sorority girls and zero guys. So we sit down to eat and I see all these couples giving me sideways glances. All of a sudden, my friend Sue just starts cracking up. She leans across the table and says "that couple behind you has been staring at you the whole time we've been here. The guy just told his girlfriend that "you have to be gay."
Ok, maybe I can see why some people wouldn't like Valentine's Day so much.
People lucky (or unlucky depending on your point of view) enough to have a significant other hate the holiday because there's pressure on them too. Pressure to find the right car or ring. Pressure to perform in the bedroom. Pressure to look pretty and smile and say a bunch of mushy ooey gooey things you said when you first met only because you REALLY wanted to see the other person naked.
So everyone bitches and grouses about how this was a holiday co-invented by Hallmark and Zales while forgetting what the holiday is really about. It's about spending time in the company of someone you love and remembering why you love them in the first place. If you're currently without a "lover," today's a great day to either tell someone you'd like to get the chance to love them, or go get sloppy drunk with some single friends and have a good time.
I'm sure St. Valentine would be happy to know that people are cursing his name and saying his holiday is a sham. Have some respect for the dead people!
I thought I'd include a few personal Valentine's Day stories to end this blog.
Rachel and I are spending Valentine's Day this year by going to an OSU basketball game with Jonah after work. My grandparents will be there and they would like to see Jonah one more time before we fly to Wisconsin to get him baptized on Sunday. Then we'll probably come home, make some dinner and watch a few episodes of Friends in bed. The end. Nothing fancy, no overblown gifts to try and "out-love" one another. We'll probably go out to dinner tomorrow night in Portland since we're going that way to get on a plane Saturday anyways. And of course, I'll tell her I love her just as I do every other day.
My worst Valentine's Day ever was the year in college when I got a call from the house mom of the Chi Omega sorority. She told me she was trying to organize an event for the single girls of the house, knew I was friends with some of them, and wondered if I'd be interested in going out to dinner with some of them. I thought it sounded like a better idea than sitting online and chatting with some bitter girl in Florida who was home alone so I said I was in. So I show up at the restaurant to find 16 single sorority girls and zero guys. So we sit down to eat and I see all these couples giving me sideways glances. All of a sudden, my friend Sue just starts cracking up. She leans across the table and says "that couple behind you has been staring at you the whole time we've been here. The guy just told his girlfriend that "you have to be gay."
Ok, maybe I can see why some people wouldn't like Valentine's Day so much.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
What college students are up to these days
Apparently there's something on campus called "V-Week" right now. I'm not sure what it's all about, but it has something to do with Valentine's Day, violence against women, and vaginas. This article appeared in The Daily Barometer, OSU's newspaper (I've put my own comments in bold):
As part of the 2008 V-Week festivities the Women's Center held a unique informational event called "Vagigami."
Males and females alike giggled as the folded papers assumed familiar anatomical shapes, and participants were encouraged to see the beauty in their craftsmanship and in vaginas altogether.
I'm terrible at art, and I can't imagine I'd be particularly good a crafting a vagina out of paper. Furthermore, even if I could create a very realistic paper ladytown, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't suddenly think "ah yes, the vagina is beautiful and should be recognized as such.
"This activity was designed to bring light to the subject of domestic violence and to help people realize that every vagina is unique," said Emily Steadman, a senior majoring in public health and a member of Peer Health Advocates.
Well now we have proof: Vaginas are just like snowflakes!
V-Week 2008 is underway through Feb. 15. It originates from The Vagina Monologues and strives to reduce the incidence of violence against women and to raise awareness about related causes.
This year's V-Week, which features a variety of activities and speakers, culminates with the OSU's ninth annual production of The Vagina Monologues on Valentine's Day and again on Friday.
Stacey Edwards, Health Educator and Peer Health Advocate Coordinator, hopes that people will realize the true purpose of V-Week and understand that the event is not just for women.
"We want to spark discussion and we want to attract men as allies in our cause," Edwards said. "It's called V-Week, but that doesn't necessarily mean vagina - it could mean a variety of different things: Valentine's Day, vagina, victorious, [ending the] violence."
Because apparently men are inherently for domestic violence and cruetly towards vaginas. We must be recruited to believe women have rights!
Organizers of the Vagigami event hope that by approaching the topic in a humorous fashion it might allow more dialogue and ultimately encourage women to be more comfortable with talking about their vaginas.
The only person a woman should be comfortable talking about her vagina with is her significant other and her doctor. Nobody else wants to hear about it. Except for that creepy guy who pokes you on Facebook. You know who I'm talking about.
"Women's sexuality shouldn't be such a hidden thing; it should addressed out in the open," Edwards said.
"We hope to facilitate that with events like Vagigami and tomorrow's Vag Bag event."
Ummm Vag Bag? What the hell is that? How do you not explain this? What is the male equivalent of a Vag Bag, a Cock Pocket?
Wednesday's events include two documentary film screenings at the MU, followed by an answer session with an expert panel after the viewing.
Not one, but two documentaries on vaginas? Wow. I want to know what qualifies someone as an "expert" in this field too.
Edwards encourages students to check out some of this week's events and unite in the cause to end violence against women.
How sad is it that we have to unite against the beating of women? It's really a bummer. However, making paper vaginas and talking about the uniqueness of one's vagina isn't really going to get the point across I don't think. I mean, think about the type of people who beat women......are any of them going to stop and think "you know, I shouldn't beat her...she's unique! She has her own sexuality and that needs to be expressed! What a fool I've been!"
As part of the 2008 V-Week festivities the Women's Center held a unique informational event called "Vagigami."
Males and females alike giggled as the folded papers assumed familiar anatomical shapes, and participants were encouraged to see the beauty in their craftsmanship and in vaginas altogether.
I'm terrible at art, and I can't imagine I'd be particularly good a crafting a vagina out of paper. Furthermore, even if I could create a very realistic paper ladytown, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't suddenly think "ah yes, the vagina is beautiful and should be recognized as such.
"This activity was designed to bring light to the subject of domestic violence and to help people realize that every vagina is unique," said Emily Steadman, a senior majoring in public health and a member of Peer Health Advocates.
Well now we have proof: Vaginas are just like snowflakes!
V-Week 2008 is underway through Feb. 15. It originates from The Vagina Monologues and strives to reduce the incidence of violence against women and to raise awareness about related causes.
This year's V-Week, which features a variety of activities and speakers, culminates with the OSU's ninth annual production of The Vagina Monologues on Valentine's Day and again on Friday.
Stacey Edwards, Health Educator and Peer Health Advocate Coordinator, hopes that people will realize the true purpose of V-Week and understand that the event is not just for women.
"We want to spark discussion and we want to attract men as allies in our cause," Edwards said. "It's called V-Week, but that doesn't necessarily mean vagina - it could mean a variety of different things: Valentine's Day, vagina, victorious, [ending the] violence."
Because apparently men are inherently for domestic violence and cruetly towards vaginas. We must be recruited to believe women have rights!
Organizers of the Vagigami event hope that by approaching the topic in a humorous fashion it might allow more dialogue and ultimately encourage women to be more comfortable with talking about their vaginas.
The only person a woman should be comfortable talking about her vagina with is her significant other and her doctor. Nobody else wants to hear about it. Except for that creepy guy who pokes you on Facebook. You know who I'm talking about.
"Women's sexuality shouldn't be such a hidden thing; it should addressed out in the open," Edwards said.
"We hope to facilitate that with events like Vagigami and tomorrow's Vag Bag event."
Ummm Vag Bag? What the hell is that? How do you not explain this? What is the male equivalent of a Vag Bag, a Cock Pocket?
Wednesday's events include two documentary film screenings at the MU, followed by an answer session with an expert panel after the viewing.
Not one, but two documentaries on vaginas? Wow. I want to know what qualifies someone as an "expert" in this field too.
Edwards encourages students to check out some of this week's events and unite in the cause to end violence against women.
How sad is it that we have to unite against the beating of women? It's really a bummer. However, making paper vaginas and talking about the uniqueness of one's vagina isn't really going to get the point across I don't think. I mean, think about the type of people who beat women......are any of them going to stop and think "you know, I shouldn't beat her...she's unique! She has her own sexuality and that needs to be expressed! What a fool I've been!"
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Comcast or DirecTV?
So I'm pretty sure I'm making the switch from Comcast to Directv. Through Qwest, I can get phone, internet and Directv service for the same price I'm paying for internet and cable with Comcast. I'm a little leery about making the switch because I have to buy some equipment up front (Modem, DVR) and also sign a two-year service agreement, so I wanted some advice...
Anyone out there have Directv and can recommend it? Anyone had both at some point and can offer their opinion on both?
Anyone out there have Directv and can recommend it? Anyone had both at some point and can offer their opinion on both?
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Office Crooks
While it hasn't happened to me yet, I'm very wary of office crooks.
They steal lunches, you see.
What I'm saying is don't put anything into a company refridgerator that you might want to see again. Putting your name on it may deter these degenerates, but be advised. More than a few people have told me their lunches, labeled and all, have gone missing. One person had her leftovers from a dinner out the night before in there. While the crooks didn't take her meal, they did take a peak inside the styrofoam container to see if it was worth stealing. How do we know this? The hungry bandits had trouble with the packaging, ripping it open rather than exhibiting the patience it takes to undo the little tab.
Who steals a lunch? Other than a homeless person, I mean. I could see someone skipping out on a bill at a restaurant. I've known high schoolers to pilfer food (one particular incident involving a 99-cent burrito comes to mind.) However, to my knowledge, we don't have any homeless people or high schoolers too cool to fork over a Washington working here. We all have jobs, we all can afford lunch....what's the deal?
I've compiled a list of possible characteristics of food stealers:
- Hungry
- Possibly has to hide amount of food he/she eats from someone at home. This would explain not bringing an appropriate amount of food for their own lunch....thereby having to supplement their food-lust with stolen goods. Furthermore, they cannot buy the lunch themselves because the tell tale sign would show up on their bank statement.
- Perhaps has a penchant for stealing other things at work....such as pens, staplers and tape dispensers
- Might ask people regularly what they brought for lunch. It seems like small talk, but it's actually a reconnaissance mission for that afternoon's raid.
- Works odd hours, allowing them to be in the building at times when fewer people are around. May also take excessive bathroom breaks to "take inventory."
- Has a mini-fridge at their desk. (To my knowledge, nobody here has one. Perhaps that means I just haven't found it yet.)
- Has multiple children/going through a divorce/spouse lost job. A money crunch at home could lead to the cost cutting measure of pilfering a panini.
I'm toying with the idea of bringing in something really fantastic for lunch, bragging about it all morning and seeing if it turns up missing. This would also require me to set up some sort of "nanny cam" in the break room. Not sure what legal hoops I'd have to jump through to make this happen. I'll keep you all posted.
A few other office mysteries I need solved:
- Why the doors on the stalls in the bathrooms leave a gap wide enough that you can ID the person on the pot merely by glancing at the door. It's just awkward for everyone.
- Why they give us all passes to park in the parking lot during football games, then send out an email telling us not to use them unless we are needed to work that day. Why not just give them to the people needed to work...or hold them and hand them out on an individual request basis?
- Why when there's a campuswide alert message that's sent to everyone's phone, the message light on your phone doesn't blink...therefore the emergency alert system alerts nobody.
They steal lunches, you see.
What I'm saying is don't put anything into a company refridgerator that you might want to see again. Putting your name on it may deter these degenerates, but be advised. More than a few people have told me their lunches, labeled and all, have gone missing. One person had her leftovers from a dinner out the night before in there. While the crooks didn't take her meal, they did take a peak inside the styrofoam container to see if it was worth stealing. How do we know this? The hungry bandits had trouble with the packaging, ripping it open rather than exhibiting the patience it takes to undo the little tab.
Who steals a lunch? Other than a homeless person, I mean. I could see someone skipping out on a bill at a restaurant. I've known high schoolers to pilfer food (one particular incident involving a 99-cent burrito comes to mind.) However, to my knowledge, we don't have any homeless people or high schoolers too cool to fork over a Washington working here. We all have jobs, we all can afford lunch....what's the deal?
I've compiled a list of possible characteristics of food stealers:
- Hungry
- Possibly has to hide amount of food he/she eats from someone at home. This would explain not bringing an appropriate amount of food for their own lunch....thereby having to supplement their food-lust with stolen goods. Furthermore, they cannot buy the lunch themselves because the tell tale sign would show up on their bank statement.
- Perhaps has a penchant for stealing other things at work....such as pens, staplers and tape dispensers
- Might ask people regularly what they brought for lunch. It seems like small talk, but it's actually a reconnaissance mission for that afternoon's raid.
- Works odd hours, allowing them to be in the building at times when fewer people are around. May also take excessive bathroom breaks to "take inventory."
- Has a mini-fridge at their desk. (To my knowledge, nobody here has one. Perhaps that means I just haven't found it yet.)
- Has multiple children/going through a divorce/spouse lost job. A money crunch at home could lead to the cost cutting measure of pilfering a panini.
I'm toying with the idea of bringing in something really fantastic for lunch, bragging about it all morning and seeing if it turns up missing. This would also require me to set up some sort of "nanny cam" in the break room. Not sure what legal hoops I'd have to jump through to make this happen. I'll keep you all posted.
A few other office mysteries I need solved:
- Why the doors on the stalls in the bathrooms leave a gap wide enough that you can ID the person on the pot merely by glancing at the door. It's just awkward for everyone.
- Why they give us all passes to park in the parking lot during football games, then send out an email telling us not to use them unless we are needed to work that day. Why not just give them to the people needed to work...or hold them and hand them out on an individual request basis?
- Why when there's a campuswide alert message that's sent to everyone's phone, the message light on your phone doesn't blink...therefore the emergency alert system alerts nobody.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Cleaning out the clutter in the head
It's been a few weeks since the Snacks blog was in motion, and it's time to get a few things out of my head:
- If you're going to go to a zoo to taunt an animal, why would you taunt a tiger? I can think of 88 different animals I'd rather taunt. For instance, I would taunt penguins. They can't fly. Plus they can't eat you.
- OSU's men's basketball coach was fired last night. It was a move that had to be made, but I don't think this is a time to rejoice at all. I feel bad for coach John, because it's never entirely the coaches fault. Unless you're the coach of the USA women's national soccer team and you bench your starting goalie who hasn't given up a goal in the World Cup only to have the backup get worked and lose a game you should've won. Then yeah, it's all your fault.
- Why anyone would not want to be a parent is beyond me. Watching Jonah figure things out on his own, be amazed by things like a rattle or his own hand, or even just seeing him smile absolutely makes each day better than the last. You should all try it. You know, if you're in a stable relationship and have the financial means to support a kid.
- I won money at the casino for the first time in my life on Saturday. Now I understand why people like gambling so much. Watched my brothers clean up at craps. I'm still not sure how you play that game, but to me it looks like you put money on the table, people throw dice, and then you watch the money roll in. I swear I watched them for 45 minutes straight and they never lost a single dollar. Fantastic game!
- Is anyone watching American Idol this year? I haven't heard anyone at work say anything about it, I haven't even thought about turning it on. Is it finally starting to lose steam? Call it the Taylor Hicks hangover. Any contest that douchebag wins is not about talent. People are finally starting to figure that out.
- While it is fun to take your baby places and watch people ooh and ahh and tell you how great he or she is, it can also lead to awkward moments. At Subway on Friday night, our sandwich artist congratulated us on our baby, asked how old he was, then promptly asked us how long we'd been together. Ummm, none of your business dude? Then Saturday we were eating our clam chowder at Mo's and our waitress kept saying how perfect our son was. In fact, he was so perfect she said that he just made her want to cry. She reiterated this point at least three times. I think if we'd have stayed there any longer we might've had to issue an amber alert for a crying Mo's waitress running down the beach with a baby.
- If you're going to go to a zoo to taunt an animal, why would you taunt a tiger? I can think of 88 different animals I'd rather taunt. For instance, I would taunt penguins. They can't fly. Plus they can't eat you.
- OSU's men's basketball coach was fired last night. It was a move that had to be made, but I don't think this is a time to rejoice at all. I feel bad for coach John, because it's never entirely the coaches fault. Unless you're the coach of the USA women's national soccer team and you bench your starting goalie who hasn't given up a goal in the World Cup only to have the backup get worked and lose a game you should've won. Then yeah, it's all your fault.
- Why anyone would not want to be a parent is beyond me. Watching Jonah figure things out on his own, be amazed by things like a rattle or his own hand, or even just seeing him smile absolutely makes each day better than the last. You should all try it. You know, if you're in a stable relationship and have the financial means to support a kid.
- I won money at the casino for the first time in my life on Saturday. Now I understand why people like gambling so much. Watched my brothers clean up at craps. I'm still not sure how you play that game, but to me it looks like you put money on the table, people throw dice, and then you watch the money roll in. I swear I watched them for 45 minutes straight and they never lost a single dollar. Fantastic game!
- Is anyone watching American Idol this year? I haven't heard anyone at work say anything about it, I haven't even thought about turning it on. Is it finally starting to lose steam? Call it the Taylor Hicks hangover. Any contest that douchebag wins is not about talent. People are finally starting to figure that out.
- While it is fun to take your baby places and watch people ooh and ahh and tell you how great he or she is, it can also lead to awkward moments. At Subway on Friday night, our sandwich artist congratulated us on our baby, asked how old he was, then promptly asked us how long we'd been together. Ummm, none of your business dude? Then Saturday we were eating our clam chowder at Mo's and our waitress kept saying how perfect our son was. In fact, he was so perfect she said that he just made her want to cry. She reiterated this point at least three times. I think if we'd have stayed there any longer we might've had to issue an amber alert for a crying Mo's waitress running down the beach with a baby.
Monday, January 7, 2008
My day home with Jonah
5:20 am - Rachel just left for work. I'm officially on my own. Jonah is still sleeping, though he is snoring a little bit. I think that's because he has his little face smashed up against the side of his bed. He's got plenty of real estate in there, but he likes the edges. Maybe because he wants to be as close as possible to mom. I tried moving him more to the middle, but he made a noise that was a cross between a tired lion and a pig eating his slop. Better leave him alone. Had a little bit of trouble getting him to sleep last night. Tried feeding him a bottle of formula around 9:45, but he wouldn't take it. I rocked him for a while but he wouldn't fall asleep. Finally reheated the formula around 10:30 and he took to it then. He fought sleep til he finally succumbed around 11:30. Hopefully all our feedings aren't that difficult today. I'm going to try and sleep a little more while he's still out.
6:30 am - Well he woke up. It wasn't an angry awakening, he woke up like most people do....a little stretching and a little grunting. Things got a little worse with the diaper change. I didn't have his outfit for the day ready to go before changing the diaper, and I took too long deciding what he should wear. I'm still in my PJ's, not sure why he had to get dressed, but it seemed like the thing to do. I finally settled on some overalls and a striped t-shirt. He cried a little bit while I put it on him, and he made it clear he was hungry when he started trying to eat the shoulder straps of his Osh Kosh's. First feeding went great. He wasn't very understanding that I had to heat up the milk whereas mom just whips out her boob and away he goes, but once the milk hit his lips he was fine. Probably spit up about a quarter of what went in, but that's about par for the course. He's now resting comfortably in his car seat, his favorite place to take a nap (aside from on someone's chest.) I think I'm going to try and exercise myself right now before he decides he wants to hang out with dad again.
7:11 am - Nevermind. No sooner did I post that last update than he made a funny face and pooped. Sounded like a big one. Smells even bigger. Guess we're on to diaper 2 for the day.
7:45 am - Asleep again after a half hour of crankiness following the diaper change. At least it stayed in the diaper. Scott Van Pelt just yelled "On FIYAAAA!" during a SportsCenter highlight and woke him up. I'm boycotting SportsCenter until further notice. We're switching to the Today Show, where they're talking to a guy with blue skin. Fascinating. Maybe I'll work out this afternoon.
8:44 am - After a half an hour nap that allowed me to eat breakfast, Jonah awoke with a scream. We're now having tummy time until he gets tired of that, and then it's time for another feeding. Right now he's having an intense staredown with a rainbow colored spider that says has the numbers 1,2,3,4 on his left legs and A,B,C,D on his right legs. Sounds creepy, but it's actually kinda cute. And Jonah loves it, though he's getting tired. His neck isn't holding his head up much anymore. He has his head on the blanket in a look of "help me spider, I can't go on!" Maybe I should heat the bottle.
9:30 am. Jonah's sleeping soundly after that last feeding. Had time to unload the dishwasher, make the bed, and clean up breakfast. I'm thinking we might take a trip to Costco at some point today. I'm also thinking about taking him over to my Grandparents. Going to see family is always risky though, because there's no guarantee that you'll ever get to leave.
10:20 am - Jonah's looking at our light fixtures and making sucking faces. Our light fixtures look a lot like boobs. He's not due to eat til at least 11. Gonna pop in the Jungle Book and see if the bright colors entertain him. Could be a long 40 minutes.
12:35 pm - Jungle Book worked! Well, sort of. There was also some bouncing and singing by dad. I think I know all the words to "Bear Neccesities" now. We fed around 11, and we went with formula because the breast milk in the fridge is still kinda frozen. After the feeding, I put him in his carseat and away we went to Costco. After a few minutes of fussing, he was fine the whole car ride and trip through Costco. Got a few compliments from people and smiles from old ladies. I felt bad for my checkout lady, who had 2 year old twins and was pregnant with another set! Jonah just woke up a few minutes ago, but he is sitting comfortably on the couch having another staredown with Mr. Spider. He's pretty animated right now, which means lots of entertaining for me until the next feeding. We're going to try and hold him off until at least 1:30.
2:10 pm - Success! The tummy time/bouncing combo works well. Was able to hold him off until 1:40 for the feeding, although by that time he was so hungry he forgot to breathe a few times will eating and had the milk go down the wrong pipe. It's sad, but choking babies are actually pretty cute. Turns out he wasn't only hungry, he was also exhausted, because twice he fell asleep with the bottle in his mouth. He'd wake up when I tried to ease it out of his mouth. When the bottle was empty, I just let him keep sucking until he fell asleep again. He's been out for about 20 minutes now. Gives me a chance to catch up on the ER episode I missed last Thursday because Jonah was crying.
4:18 pm - He's still sleeping! I didn't think he'd be down this long, or I'd have taken the Christmas lights down. I keep thinking I should go do it, but I know as soon as I head outside, he'll wake up. Of course I've thought that since 2:45. P.S. He's really funny when he sleeps. He occasionally will put his hands straight up in the air and grunt for no apparent reason. Oh, and I've found he hates the sound of a pop can being opened when he sleeps.
5:33 pm - We ate at 5. I think I pushed the maximum time frame between feedings. Every time I took the bottle out of his mouth to burp him, he screamed about as loud as I've ever heard him yelp. It was pretty funny. He took that bottle down in record time. Hopefully I won't have to feed him again until Rachel gets home around 7:15 or so. Now I have to try and get him interested in the national championship football game. Might be hard, because I'm not even sure I'm excited about it.
9:45 pm - Well, Rachel made it home about 7:15. Jonah was a bit cranky before she got home, so I was glad she made it home when she did. Fortunately I started preparing dinner while Jonah was asleep, because he freaked out for about half an hour straight before Rachel got home. I had to sing along with the Ohio State marching band during halftime to keep him quiet. When that ended I had to start singing commercial jingles. He really likes the one with the dude singing in his Jeep with the animals. Now we're watching Prison Break and Jonah's sleeping soundly on his mommy's lap. All is well, and we all survived. I kind of enjoyed this diary thing......I need more "events" like this to blog about!
6:30 am - Well he woke up. It wasn't an angry awakening, he woke up like most people do....a little stretching and a little grunting. Things got a little worse with the diaper change. I didn't have his outfit for the day ready to go before changing the diaper, and I took too long deciding what he should wear. I'm still in my PJ's, not sure why he had to get dressed, but it seemed like the thing to do. I finally settled on some overalls and a striped t-shirt. He cried a little bit while I put it on him, and he made it clear he was hungry when he started trying to eat the shoulder straps of his Osh Kosh's. First feeding went great. He wasn't very understanding that I had to heat up the milk whereas mom just whips out her boob and away he goes, but once the milk hit his lips he was fine. Probably spit up about a quarter of what went in, but that's about par for the course. He's now resting comfortably in his car seat, his favorite place to take a nap (aside from on someone's chest.) I think I'm going to try and exercise myself right now before he decides he wants to hang out with dad again.
7:11 am - Nevermind. No sooner did I post that last update than he made a funny face and pooped. Sounded like a big one. Smells even bigger. Guess we're on to diaper 2 for the day.
7:45 am - Asleep again after a half hour of crankiness following the diaper change. At least it stayed in the diaper. Scott Van Pelt just yelled "On FIYAAAA!" during a SportsCenter highlight and woke him up. I'm boycotting SportsCenter until further notice. We're switching to the Today Show, where they're talking to a guy with blue skin. Fascinating. Maybe I'll work out this afternoon.
8:44 am - After a half an hour nap that allowed me to eat breakfast, Jonah awoke with a scream. We're now having tummy time until he gets tired of that, and then it's time for another feeding. Right now he's having an intense staredown with a rainbow colored spider that says has the numbers 1,2,3,4 on his left legs and A,B,C,D on his right legs. Sounds creepy, but it's actually kinda cute. And Jonah loves it, though he's getting tired. His neck isn't holding his head up much anymore. He has his head on the blanket in a look of "help me spider, I can't go on!" Maybe I should heat the bottle.
9:30 am. Jonah's sleeping soundly after that last feeding. Had time to unload the dishwasher, make the bed, and clean up breakfast. I'm thinking we might take a trip to Costco at some point today. I'm also thinking about taking him over to my Grandparents. Going to see family is always risky though, because there's no guarantee that you'll ever get to leave.
10:20 am - Jonah's looking at our light fixtures and making sucking faces. Our light fixtures look a lot like boobs. He's not due to eat til at least 11. Gonna pop in the Jungle Book and see if the bright colors entertain him. Could be a long 40 minutes.
12:35 pm - Jungle Book worked! Well, sort of. There was also some bouncing and singing by dad. I think I know all the words to "Bear Neccesities" now. We fed around 11, and we went with formula because the breast milk in the fridge is still kinda frozen. After the feeding, I put him in his carseat and away we went to Costco. After a few minutes of fussing, he was fine the whole car ride and trip through Costco. Got a few compliments from people and smiles from old ladies. I felt bad for my checkout lady, who had 2 year old twins and was pregnant with another set! Jonah just woke up a few minutes ago, but he is sitting comfortably on the couch having another staredown with Mr. Spider. He's pretty animated right now, which means lots of entertaining for me until the next feeding. We're going to try and hold him off until at least 1:30.
2:10 pm - Success! The tummy time/bouncing combo works well. Was able to hold him off until 1:40 for the feeding, although by that time he was so hungry he forgot to breathe a few times will eating and had the milk go down the wrong pipe. It's sad, but choking babies are actually pretty cute. Turns out he wasn't only hungry, he was also exhausted, because twice he fell asleep with the bottle in his mouth. He'd wake up when I tried to ease it out of his mouth. When the bottle was empty, I just let him keep sucking until he fell asleep again. He's been out for about 20 minutes now. Gives me a chance to catch up on the ER episode I missed last Thursday because Jonah was crying.
4:18 pm - He's still sleeping! I didn't think he'd be down this long, or I'd have taken the Christmas lights down. I keep thinking I should go do it, but I know as soon as I head outside, he'll wake up. Of course I've thought that since 2:45. P.S. He's really funny when he sleeps. He occasionally will put his hands straight up in the air and grunt for no apparent reason. Oh, and I've found he hates the sound of a pop can being opened when he sleeps.
5:33 pm - We ate at 5. I think I pushed the maximum time frame between feedings. Every time I took the bottle out of his mouth to burp him, he screamed about as loud as I've ever heard him yelp. It was pretty funny. He took that bottle down in record time. Hopefully I won't have to feed him again until Rachel gets home around 7:15 or so. Now I have to try and get him interested in the national championship football game. Might be hard, because I'm not even sure I'm excited about it.
9:45 pm - Well, Rachel made it home about 7:15. Jonah was a bit cranky before she got home, so I was glad she made it home when she did. Fortunately I started preparing dinner while Jonah was asleep, because he freaked out for about half an hour straight before Rachel got home. I had to sing along with the Ohio State marching band during halftime to keep him quiet. When that ended I had to start singing commercial jingles. He really likes the one with the dude singing in his Jeep with the animals. Now we're watching Prison Break and Jonah's sleeping soundly on his mommy's lap. All is well, and we all survived. I kind of enjoyed this diary thing......I need more "events" like this to blog about!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Andy Blog History
Tomorrow will be the first time that I've been in charge of Jonah for an entire day. Rachel's got some bottles pumped, and I'm now proficient at preparing formula in case he gets too hungry. Formula is not rocket science. Take some water, add some powder, and shake. I can handle that. We did a test run with Jonah last night, and after he tried to drink the formula so fast he choked a few times, we finally figured out a system that allowed me to feed him without him drowning. I think we'll be fine. However, I know you're all worried about me, so I've figured out a way to keep you all abreast of the situation.
That's right....tomorrow I will be keeping a live running diary of the day's events. Be sure to check this blog frequently throughout the day for the adventures of Big A and Lil' J as we try to survive on our own from the time Mom leaves in the morning (around 5:30 am) until she returns (around 7:30 pm). 14 hours of chaos! Stay tuned.....
That's right....tomorrow I will be keeping a live running diary of the day's events. Be sure to check this blog frequently throughout the day for the adventures of Big A and Lil' J as we try to survive on our own from the time Mom leaves in the morning (around 5:30 am) until she returns (around 7:30 pm). 14 hours of chaos! Stay tuned.....
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
New Year's Resolutions
I figure by posting my new years resolutions, everyone will know what they are and be able to say "hey remember when you said you were going to do such and such? Well, you didn't you liar." Can't be having that, so here's my attempt to motivate myself. Hasn't worked much in years past, but every year is a new year to start fresh.
1. Stop eating junk food at work. My office is like a non-extradition country for fat people. Everyone brings in food that they don't want to eat in front of their significant others and/or families. In an attempt to not feel so crappy about it, they bring in massive quantities of the fatty/sugary foods so that other people can eat with them. It's sort of an "everyone's doing it, so it's not that bad" mentality. So, I'm ceasing my daily trips to the admin assistants candy jars, putting the kibosh on donuts when they come in, and especially not eating cake at people's birthdays/going away parties. In an office of 130 people, you'd be surprised how often we have birthday cake. You'd also be surprised how often people find new jobs. Hmmmm.......
2. Exercise every day. Even if it's only a 15 minute walk around the neighborhood, I gotta do something. During Rachel's pregnancy, I stopped exercising almost entirely. Pretty much if she'd been a few weeks past her due date, I would've turned into stone. We need to reverse this trend. Rachel and Grant are both talking about running the Portland Marathon in October. I'm not entirely positive I can get in shape to run a full marathon, but they have a 5 or 10K that I think I could handle. Gotta crawl before you can run a marathon right?
3. Limit the Pepsi. I have a problem. I can admit that. When you think about it, 4 sodas a day doesn't seem like much if you have one at break in the morning, one with your lunch, one for dinner and one in the evening, but that's like 600+ calories a day that take up room on the front porch that used to be my stomach. So we're cutting down to one regular and one diet pop a day tops. The rest of the time I'll drink water or milk. Exemptions can be made if I exercise for an hour or more in a day. Call it a reward of sorts.
4. Help more with the chores around the house. Now the Jonah's around and Rachel's going back to work, I need to step up and actually do some in-home maintenance. Problem is that I still feel like I do more harm than good (recall the crock pot incident of a few months ago). Guess like everything else, I'll get better with repetition. Plus we can't have Jonah getting used to living in messy conditions.
5. Clean the closet....and keep it organized. I cleaned it out tonight, now I need to maintain its order. I think by making sure that everything is in order once a week when we do laundry will help.
6. Watch less television. This should be easy with the current writers strike. I'm not a big fan of re-runs. Also, I'm issuing a complete and total cease and desist on all reality shows....except for American Gladiators. I'm going to give that one a shot. American Idol however is not getting one second of airplay in this household. I'm not investing 3-6 hours a week on that junk. I don't care how drunk Paula gets....I'm no longer interested.
I think we're going to set this circus down now, before I make my list too long to handle. Plus, Rachel needs a glass of milk, and she has a small human that looks suspiciously like me attached to her left nipple.
1. Stop eating junk food at work. My office is like a non-extradition country for fat people. Everyone brings in food that they don't want to eat in front of their significant others and/or families. In an attempt to not feel so crappy about it, they bring in massive quantities of the fatty/sugary foods so that other people can eat with them. It's sort of an "everyone's doing it, so it's not that bad" mentality. So, I'm ceasing my daily trips to the admin assistants candy jars, putting the kibosh on donuts when they come in, and especially not eating cake at people's birthdays/going away parties. In an office of 130 people, you'd be surprised how often we have birthday cake. You'd also be surprised how often people find new jobs. Hmmmm.......
2. Exercise every day. Even if it's only a 15 minute walk around the neighborhood, I gotta do something. During Rachel's pregnancy, I stopped exercising almost entirely. Pretty much if she'd been a few weeks past her due date, I would've turned into stone. We need to reverse this trend. Rachel and Grant are both talking about running the Portland Marathon in October. I'm not entirely positive I can get in shape to run a full marathon, but they have a 5 or 10K that I think I could handle. Gotta crawl before you can run a marathon right?
3. Limit the Pepsi. I have a problem. I can admit that. When you think about it, 4 sodas a day doesn't seem like much if you have one at break in the morning, one with your lunch, one for dinner and one in the evening, but that's like 600+ calories a day that take up room on the front porch that used to be my stomach. So we're cutting down to one regular and one diet pop a day tops. The rest of the time I'll drink water or milk. Exemptions can be made if I exercise for an hour or more in a day. Call it a reward of sorts.
4. Help more with the chores around the house. Now the Jonah's around and Rachel's going back to work, I need to step up and actually do some in-home maintenance. Problem is that I still feel like I do more harm than good (recall the crock pot incident of a few months ago). Guess like everything else, I'll get better with repetition. Plus we can't have Jonah getting used to living in messy conditions.
5. Clean the closet....and keep it organized. I cleaned it out tonight, now I need to maintain its order. I think by making sure that everything is in order once a week when we do laundry will help.
6. Watch less television. This should be easy with the current writers strike. I'm not a big fan of re-runs. Also, I'm issuing a complete and total cease and desist on all reality shows....except for American Gladiators. I'm going to give that one a shot. American Idol however is not getting one second of airplay in this household. I'm not investing 3-6 hours a week on that junk. I don't care how drunk Paula gets....I'm no longer interested.
I think we're going to set this circus down now, before I make my list too long to handle. Plus, Rachel needs a glass of milk, and she has a small human that looks suspiciously like me attached to her left nipple.
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