Sittin Fat Down South

This weekend marked my return to Brookings. Now I don't know what it is, but the Mustang doesn't particularly like driving down to Brookings. Brookings is the southern-most town on the Oregon Coast. It's so far south, in fact, that the fastest way there requires you to drive into California and then come back up. Ridiculous.


Ok, back to the car. Last time I tried to go down to Brookings, the car overheated around Eugene, and I had to get it towed back to Corvallis. Cracked engine block or something. So Friday, I spent all morning making these cds for the drive down. I was excited to listen to my Sir Mix-a-Lot's greatest hits. So I throw it in the disc-changer that is located in the trunk. As I go to shut the trunk, I see a shiny piece of metal staring me in the face. The key. Bang! trunk shuts, entombing my cds for all eternity. I was locked out. Looked like the Freeway Gods were conspiring against me again.

There was one time a few years ago that I locked the keys in the car. Granted, the window was cracked a little bit, but I was able to use a coat hanger to press the door lock button and unlock the door. No luck this time......the window was shut tight. No problem, I told myself. About 15 minutes with the coat hanger, and I'd have it open. Getting the coat hanger in between the convertible roof and the window was a snap. Getting it to the button was another thing. I finally gave up when the coat hanger got itself hooked around the steering wheel. So now I have my keys locked in my trunk, and a coat hanger sticking out of my window like a guy high on crystal meth was trying to break into it.

So I pull out the yellowpages and call number on the first ad I see that says "unlock your car!" The guy from Charlie's Towing was there in a matter of minutes and popped my door open in a matter of seconds....probably from the time he got the call to the time he got my door open was no more than twenty minutes. And I paid this guy $45. that's like $135 an hour. Maybe I should be a tow truck driver.

Anyways, I finally made it to Brookings and the fun started. I saw two fights at The Hideaway, did some Karaoke with Dave at Sandy's Kitchen (we sang The Highwaymen by Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash) and watched Dave attempt to buy a shotgun off a guy who was selling all his stuff before moving to Hawaii. Among his other possessions were a sword and a pit bull. This guy was amazing. Dave was going to pay him $200 for this shotgun before he found out it was worth $50 at most. Pretty entertaining.

Among the quotes Dave supplied over the weekend:

* "Whenever I get stressed out or excited, my left nipple gets itchy and hard."
* "My dream would be to have her serve me a ham sandwich and a bj....and let me put a bucket of ranch on her head to dip my fries in."
* "You know, people from Tennessee are the greatest." (when asked who else he knows from Tennessee, Dave replied "No one.")
* "Have you ever noticed that the state of Nevada is lime green when you fly over it?"