lol

I just was perusing old emails and found an old dream of mine that I wrote down. Enjoy


Ok this one's a doozy....I don't know how it's gonna turn our written, but it's definetly a good story when I orate. Or say it orally, I don't really know what the word I was looking for there was...anyways.......

So it starts out I'm in Corvallis in the middle of the night. And I'm on 9th St. and I'm wearing an astronaut space suit. And for some reason, this space suit makes me really really fast. So I'm running along with traffic, then I just full out head first slide, and I'm like cruising around on my stomach in this space suit. Then I come to stop light, so I stop, get up, dust myself off, salute the car next to me, and make a lefthand turn onto Walnut Ave. And so I'm running down walnut, do the headfirst slide thing again, and end up at this house (fake house). It's just this little tiny thing, all run down and ramshackled (I like that word.) And inside this house are Ali Larter and Devon Sawa (from the movie Final Destination. Ms. Larter has also appeared as the whipped cream bikini girl in Varsity Blues and as the woman on trial for the murder of her husband in Legally Blonde. Mr. Sawa has also been in the movie Idle Hands, and portrayed Stan in the music video for Eminem's "Stan.")

So anyways, I take off my space helmet, and they're like "good, about time you got here, we need to rehearse for the movie!" So I'm like "ok, just let me get out of this suit." And I'm trying to take off this suit, but we're in this really cramped room, and I somehow end up lip to lip with Ali Larter. And at first there's this really uncomfortable moment where we just are frozen there with our lips touching, then her lips part and we kiss for a few seconds, then we kinda realize what's going on and stop. And we kinda smile at each other, and I'm like "uhhhhhhhh, yeah........sorry about that." And she just kinda blushes and whispers in my ear "we'll talk later" and kisses me on the cheek. I look over, and Devon is kinda angrily tying his shoes and has a scowl on his face. I mean this is like the coolest thing that's ever happened in a dream by far.

Alright, moving on.....we walk out of the little tiny house, and all of a sudden we're on this wooded hillside in like a campground type setting....there's a little clearing and a pit for a fire and some log cabins kind of off to the side. And all of a sudden there's this ear piercing scream. And everyone's kinda panicked. And then we hear this low whirring noise....like a ride on lawn mower. And this maniacal laughter. And everyone's looking all over, trying to figure out what's going on. Then I see this red Kubota ride on mower just whizzing through the trees at top speed. And it's getting closer and closer, and the laughter is getting louder and louder. Then all of a sudden I hear this scream as the Kubota runs over some girl, mulching her in an instant. That's when I see the driver......it's Matthew Lillard, from Scream, and more recently, Scooby Doo. He's got blood all over his face and he's got that crazed killer look in his eye. So I'm all hiding in the trees, as he keeps making passes through the campsite trying to mow down (pun intended) more people. Finally he comes near me, and I fly out of the trees, clotheslining him off the mower and pinning him to the ground. So I just kicking his ass. I'm just wailing on him. Left, right, left, right.....just pummeling his face. And I'm like "you sick bastard! I'll kill you! Scooby Doo sucked ass!" Finally someone pulls me off him, and he's just lying there unconscious. So the cops show up, cuff him and take him away. And Ali Larter comes running up to me, and she's all emotional and stuff, and I just give her a big hug, and she's like "hold me, Andy. I was so scared. Thank you." And I'm like "it's all over now, Ali, it's ok, shhhh, it's ok, I'm here." (I'm so damn smooth in my dreams) So then the cops come over and they're like "ok, Ms. Larter, time to go." And I'm like "oh no it's not! She didn't do anything, she's staying here." And they're like "she's causing the rift in death's design, and that's why all the murders keep happening." And she kinda looks at me forlornly, and kinda nods her head, and says "they're right Andy, I've gotta go." And I'm like "SHIT! This is not right at all!"

And that's when I woke up. Pretty good, eh?