Bachelor parties

Well I learned a valuable lesson......bachelor parties were only meant to last one night. We partied so hard that by Sunday, we had no juice left. Our plan to go to the casino fizzled when everyone went to bed at 10. That being said, it was a pretty fun weekend. Just what I needed....a weekend not to think about buying a house, getting married, work, and everything else that's been weighing on me lately.


The weekend started with the OSU baseball game Friday night. I had called Jeanne to see if I could get 8 tickets earlier in the week and she had said that wouldn't be a problem. The day before the game, I called her back and said I actually needed 10 tickets. Somehow she misinterpreted what I said, and I ended up with 10 MORE tickets. So I had 18 tickets for the game. If I had known ahead of time, i would've invited more people to the game. It worked out well though, because we had the whole row in front of us to ourselves.

Saturday we went paintballing. I was a little nervous because my last paintballing experience resulted in me being shot 3 seconds after the game started. Sure enough, the first game we played, i lasted about one minute. However, after that i settled into a groove.....except for when i shot the guy on my own team. We had two random guys join our game at one point. They were guys that had their own guns and all the gear. They looked like they were on some sort of team, since they wore the exact same outfit. Anyways, the guy on our team came running around a corner I was hiding behind and i just lit him up. Three shots right in the kill zone. He was not happy. I actually thought it was pretty funny, since I didn't want him playing with us anyways.

After paintball, we all headed to the beach. There were about 16 people there, and we just watched sports, played video games and ate crappy food and drank all weekend. Good times. Grant ended up getting so drunk that he slept on the stairway landing instead of a bed. We ended up getting a few more people hooked on Guitar Hero too.....that game has to be the ultimate example of word of mouth advertising. i have never seen an ad for it, or even seen it displayed at a store. Yet you play it once and you're hooked.

So it was a great weekend. Made it real hard to go back to work yesterday. I'd like to give a special shout out to Grant for putting the whole thing together. Thank you brother, you're the best. Now, if I can just get through the next month and a half.......

Time to relax....

....or not. This week has been stressful, as I've already said. Mortgage lenders calling and meeting with us all week, working hard and doing some wedding planning, it's all made me pretty tired. And now I've got a three day weeked to relax...er party like a rockstar. Who knew the first bachelor party that I'd go to would be my own? This isn't going to be your typical get smashed and hire strippers bachelor party. Oh no...that's not how I do. We're paintballing and then spending the weekend at the beach playing guitar hero and watching sports. Should be a good time. I'm not going to get much sleep, but I guess I'll catch up on the sleep when I'm dead.


Last night I tried to watch a little tv. It's amazing. All my shows are over for the season, and I'd already seen sportscenter, so there was literally nothing on tv that captivated my interest. So I watched probably 25 minutes of television last night. Usually it's tv from about 7 to 10 or 11 every night, but last night Rachel and I worked on wedding stuff. It's amazing how productive you can be when you don't watch TV. Hopefully this is a trend that lasts throughout the summer.

Another weird tidbit from last night - after meeting with another mortgage lender, we went to Abby's Pizza in Albany for dinner. In my opinion, the best pizza around. Anyways, we order, then we go and sit down. The guy brings our pizza out, asks if we want any napkins, then he bows to us and leaves. It was quite possibly the strangest thing to ever happen at a pizza place. Poor guy was probably just trying to do his job to the best of his ability, but somethings are just above and beyond. That'd be like the garbage man washing the inside of your garbage can for you or something. Strange. Then again, it's Albany.

Peppe le pew

It's smack dab in the middle of the work day, but this needs to be said. My coworker is wearing enough perfume to choke a whole herd of moose. It's insane. When she leaves the room, I smell perfume for the next 15 minutes. My eyes are watering at my desk just from the scent wafting over from hers. My nose has never felt torture like this. I think the little hairs inside are on fire, the mucous membrane is being depleted faster than the ozone layer. My nose is going to fall off my face. God help us all.........

So much stuff

What's more stressful than trying to plan a wedding? Trying to plan a wedding AND trying to secure a home loan to buy your first house at the same time! Due to a random coincidence, a lady I used to work with is selling her house and it happens to be in our price range, plus she's offered to pay closing costs and leave all the appliances. I'm not sure we would find a better deal than that. Only problem is that all the money we have right now is tied up in the wedding meaning we could only move in if we had almost zero up front costs. It's a daunting task. I've talked to like 3 or 4 mortgage loan people and I think we've got two more to meet with this week. It's very nerve wracking.


Last weekend was a busy one as well......met with the DJ, met with the priest, looked at a house, and had marriage preparation with our sponsor couple. The DJ was awesome.....I'm sure he's going to do a great job. Plus he loved our song selection - it's going to be a heck of a good time. Dinner with the priest was good, although he forgot the date of our wedding and couldn't remember my last name. I think he's one of those guys that can't get anything right until he's on the altar, then he's lights out good. No worries there. Though he did compare me to that douchebag Taylor Hicks. Just cause we both have gray hair does not mean I like the guy. I didn't even watch Idol last night, and not because I was doing something else. I was watching White Chicks. That's how much I'm over American Idol....I'd rather watch White Chicks than the final show. Tonight sounds a little better since they're bringing in all these stars and past contestants, but I think I'd rather watch Lost.

Marriage Prep is getting ridiculous. She gave me a question and I had to tell Rachel how it made me feel. The question was "when I'm home alone, I feel....." So I said something about how I feel 'off' because everything is the same, yet it doesn't have the same feeling to me. Like watching TV with Rachel is way different than watching it alone, you know? Well then Rachel was given a list of questions meant to further the conversation. Questions such as "on a scale of one to ten, how intense is this feeling?" or "Do you feel this way at any other time?" Some of the questions were just insane, like "what color is your feeling?" or "If your feeling was on this table right now, what would it be doing?" Just dumb stuff. I was floored when our sponsor couple told us that they do this exercise when they have a disagreement, or they don't think the other one is understanding them. At first I thought they were joking, because you'd have to be completely nuts to actually pull out these sheets and talk about your feelings like that. But they actually do. My take is that if you need a piece of paper to help you tell your spouse how you feel, you've got problems that might require professional help. That's just my opinion.

The Revenge of the Zebras

So I've complained about the refereeing at Timberhill before. But last night took the cake. Three times in the last 3.5 seconds there were bad calls that went against us. I didn't think it was possible to get raped 3 times in 3.5 seconds, but by God these two made it happen. We were down 3 points and we inbound the ball to a guy who takes a step and shoots a 3. Now, I can't say for sure he didn't travel, but I was always taught that if it's a judgement call at the end of a game, you should let the players decide the game, and not the whistle. Anyways, that was the slightest of their shaftings. So we have to set up to foul and give ourselves at least a chance. Well lo and behold the guy throws a crappy inbounds pass and I get my hand on it. The ball deflects right of their guys arm and out of bounds. Nope....he gives it back to them. I was furious. I actually ended up yelling right in the refs face, but that was by accident. I just happened to wheel around and go "oh come on!" about 6 inches from this guy's face. I'm kind of surprised he didn't kick me out of the game. Anyways, there's still two seconds left in the game, so we have to get ready to foul yet again. And yet again, they inbound the ball to the guy I'm guarding. I immediately slap him. I hear the whistle blow....and then like a full second or second a half later, the horn sounds. But do they put time back on the clock? Nooooooo, they just call the game off. A one possession game, where we still have a slim (albeit very slim) chance of winning and they just say "nah that's it." Unbelievable. There were a couple of other calls that were pretty bad. I got a rebound that bounced off a post that was behind the basket out of bounds for an easy tip-in that both the refs were adamant that it bounced off the glass. I was a good foot and a half over the backboard. And despite not calling obvious fouls, they somehow found time to whistle a guy for stepping over the end-line on a meaningless inbounds pass. Like that really needs to be called. It was on the other team, but I was still shaking my head about that one. Robyn, don't worry, your dad wasn't one of the refs. I'm convinced he's the best referee down there, and I've only had him ref I think one of our games.

Good grief!

Not that any of you care, but the other day, my fantasy baseball team went 0-25 before finally getting a hit. To put this in perspective, I essentially went 8 and 1/3 innings of being perfect gamed. With a FANTASY TEAM! Then, today, I've been monitoring my team from work as it's a boring day, and lo and behold I have two guys strike out with the bases loaded. All they have to do is put the ball in play and I'll get an RBI at least. Nope. They both whiff. It's maddening. I'm about to liquidate my whole team.

Big Day

So yesterday was full of huge news. I know that recaps of my day aren't the most exciting blogs, but yesterday was so huge, it needs to be told.


So I'm at work yesterday when my phone rings. It's a lady I used to work with at the ticket office. She's moving, and she asked if I wanted to buy her house! She's selling it for a price that's in our range, it's in a decent area, and she offered to pay closing costs and the first month's mortgage for us! Since our lease here runs out on the day of our wedding, we're kind of in a pinch for a place to live, and it may just be time to become a home owner. So I'm off to the bank today at lunch to get an idea of what kind of loan we can get. I don't think we're going to find a better situation than that.

In other news, We were planning on having a barbeque at the Hanson Country Inn for our rehersal dinner. Well, apparently the ol' Hanson Inn double booked for that night. It seems that someone's getting married there that night, only the father of the bride told them the wrong date. When the mother of the bride realized the snafu, she apparently was able to convince them to bounce us, since we're "just a rehersal dinner." Only thing is, they're the ones that made the mistake, and we were in there first! I'm not very happy about this, but my mom is really furious, since she's the one that is organizing the thing. I wouldn't want to be the Hanson Country Inn right now, because they're about to feel the tornado of anger that is my mother!

Busy Busy Busy

Who's had this happen to them? Rachel and I head up to Portland for the weekend, and when we show up at my dad's house, we're promptly put to work putting up a fence. Now, I'm not bitching because I had to do yardwork on the weekend - I'm actually looking forward to one day having my own lawn and being able to do my own yardwork - I'm bitching because there was no "hey when you get up here tomorrow, we're going to be putting in the fence, do you want to help?" That just bothers me.....they knew we were coming, yet there was no mention of putting up a fence.


After dinner, Grant, Rachel and I headed to Chili's to meet Jon and Bryony. I think I set a record for most virgin strawberry daquiri's ever ordered in one visit with 3. I'm going to have to check with the Chili's manager, but i'd bet I'm pretty close. $3 isn't that bad of a price either!

Then it was off to my mom's house for Mother's Day. Of course, when we get there, we're hit with a "nice to see you! You can help us re-do the pond out back!" Again, no mention of this beforehand. So I say something along the lines of "what is it with my family and surprising me with manual labor?" to which my step-dad replies "Nevermind Andy, you don't need to do shit." Was that really necessary? Granted, my step-dad has been - how do I say this - a huge douche lately, but still......

Ah family life. Gotta love it.

Be forewarned....

I'm not a happy camper right now. I try as hard as possible not to just bitch to my blog and my blog reading public, but as there's no one around right now, and JR and Joel both failed to answer their phones, this is my sounding board.


So last week I had a pretty rough week at work. It seemed like no matter what I did, I couldn't get anything to go my way. This week however, I felt like I was kicking butt. I wasn't making the stupid mistakes I made last week, and I was being much more efficient. In short, I was rolling. My coworker was going through some personal problems, so she wasn't really much help at all this week. Anyways, I was going like a house of fire today. I was doing the deposit, coding gifts, and preparing the cash to go to the bank this evening. So I'm doing like three things at once and going pretty well. Well, right before I'm about to leave, my boss comes in with a batch report. I'd put in that this guy had donated 72.23 shares instead of 73.23 shares. Granted, it's something that needs to be corrected, and that's what I'm supposed to do. But she says "you know, maybe you shouldn't enter batches in the deposit room. With the radio and the students in here, it's just too distracting." So despite the fact that I'm kicking ass this week, and this is pretty much my only mistake the entire week (to my knowledge) I'm not paying attention? And the radio is the reason I transposed one fucking number? Not cool. I was a little pissed that I've been busting my ass all week, and got no "good job this week Andy" or "way to pick it up over last week" or "thanks for covering for Carla when she was gone." No, I get "you don't pay enough attention."

Shit like that is the reason people aren't motivated to do their best at work.

Want to stalk someone? Molest a kid? Try MySpace!

What is it about this website? It seems like damn near every day I read a story on Cnn.com or watch a piece on the news about a girl getting raped by a guy she met on Myspace. There was a video of a girl getting beat up by a classmate while the classmate's mother watched on. Then yesterday, I hear that a teacher at an Albany school was arrested for feeling up his students IN THE CLASSROOM. On a hunch, I typed his name into the search thingy in Myspace. Yup, he's got one. Ty Topper. From his profile, you wouldn't think anything is wrong this this guy. Creepy. Is this thing like a breeding ground for perverts? I remember the first time I heard that 1 in 5 children were sexually solicited online, I said "you've gotta be kidding me." But now I'm not so sure. Who would've thought pedophilia would become a national epidemic? Just like everything else, a few people who abuse the priviledge are going to end up ruining it for everyone else. A few nutjobs hijack a plane, and now we're all suspects. One priest fondles his altar boy, and now they're all sexual predators. It's just sad that these people can't get the help they need, or don't even realize they need help.


Had the first person I thought was coming to our wedding tell me she couldn't make it last night. That was kind of depressing, but I'd be smoking if I thought everyone would be able to make it, or that they wouldn't have other plans. I mean, not everyone's world revolves around me. Well except for mine of course.

Cinco de Holla!

So Cinco de Mayo was great. It's quickly becoming one of my favorite holidays. I wonder what Mexicans think of Americans embracing the independence of Mexico while trying to shoo them all out of our country? I guess it is a little weird that a bunch of native Oregonians all get together and drink tequilla and listen to mariachi music in celebration of the defeat of the French by our neighbor to the south, but I promise you we mean no disrespect. We just like having an excuse to party. If I could organize it, I'd party on whatever day the canadians broke free from the crown.


Anyways, Grant, JR, Joel, Steve, Dave and I all met up at Garth's place in Beaverton. We listened to a few mexican cds, drank some tequilla (pepsi for me) and even played a slightly dirty version of "Pin the Tail on the Donkey" I believe we called it, "Pin the Chica on the Burro." Of course Dave made us all go to Ole Ole for dinner. What he forgot to mention is that Ole Ole only takes cash - no checks or cards. That left most of us out in the cold. Dave's strange solution to this problem was to pay for some of us, but not others. That's why he's Dave. The guy gets so excited about specific eateries that he kind of forgets about everything else. His only goal is to get that food in his belly. When we went to the Fiesta Bowl in 2001, we almost missed kickoff of the game because Dave was willing to wait 2 hours in the drive thru for some In n' Out. The only way we were able to pry him out of there was to promise him we'd drive the 25 miles back out there after the game. Thus I got my first taste of In n' Out at 12:30 AM on January 2, 2001.

Other highlights of the weekend included stopping by my dad's house to say hi just in time for him to employ Grant and myself in a post-hole digging endeavor. So while Garth and Dave watched the OSU baseball game and napped, Grant and I were out in the yard digging holes for the fenceposts we're putting in. In my family, being a son gives you the right to indentured servitude. My kids are gonna love me.

We also got fitted for tuxes. Joel tried to embellish his height a little, and the girl measuring him giggled and goes "awww that's adorable." That killed me. Almost as much as Dave telling the guy not to measure him, because he knew he was a 44 long. He wasn't.

So Rachel's still gone, and I'm still bored. I'm halfway through a Date my Mom marathon on MTV. This show is so fake, so dirty, and so ridiculous that I can't stop watching. The lines these people say are so contrived it's like watching community theater. When some girl's mom will say "I like 'em long and with a lot of meat" just to get on tv, you know society is out of whack. (She was referring to crab legs, by the way

Dreams become reality

So I think I'm starting to take my rec league basketball games too seriously. After struggling through another poorly officiated game on Wednesday, last night I had a seriously intense dream.


In it, I'm playing a game, and one of the refs from my league calls a bogus foul on me. I don't really say anything, but then he does it again, and again, and again. Finally I snap and start yelling "what is it with you?" and this guy goes nuts. He starts chasing me around the gym, threatening to kill me and all this stuff. I'm trying to figure out if I should take him seriously and get as far away from him as possible, or turn around and show him that Andy Lasselle is not one to mess with. Then all of a sudden, one of the development officers from work grabs me and says "no Andy, now's not the time. Let's go," and he shoves me in the back of a limo.

Rachel has now been gone for about 24 hours, and already I'm falling apart. I didn't think I ate that poorly yesterday, but then I realized that I had Burger King for breakfast on the way to work, two giant cookies on break, a bowl of cheerios for lunch, a strawberry citrus breeze at Baskin-Robbins in the afternoon, some cheese quesidillas and tortilla chips at our work party, about three bags of Scooby Doo fruit snacks, a diet dr. pepper, a piece of pizza, and some milk for dinner. One day without my fiancee, and I'm already back to being a grade-A bachelor. I need help.

Tell the airlines to blow me.

Is there any wonder that the air travel industry is in disarray? If you need proof of their incompetence, listen to this story.


Rachel flew home to Wisconsin today. Her flight was supposed to go to Minneapolis, where she'd catch a connecting flight into Milwaukee. Well, it turned out that her sister could pick her up in Minneapolis, thus saving her a boring layover and another hour and a half in the air. So, when she got to the airport this morning, she told the lady at the counter that she didn't need her connecting flight boarding pass, because it was easier for her to get picked up in Minneapolis.

"You can't do that. You'd have to purchase a round trip flight to Minneapolis if you wanted to do that."

That's the response she got. She wasn't checking luggage, so that wasn't an issue. They just flat out said that if she wanted to not take her connecting flight, it was going to cost her $400 for a new round trip ticket. So Rachel heads to the gate, where she asks the person at the gate "what would happen if I didn't board my connecting flight and just got off in Minneapolis?"

"You would be marked as a no-show and your return ticket would be cancelled."

So.....even if you PAY for a flight, tell them you're not going to take it and that they can keep the money, so hypothetically they could resell that seat on the plane, they won't do it. Does this make any sense? It is not a loss of money to them in any way.....it could only make them money. Yet they won't do it. I'm also guessing that a lighter plane gets better gas mileage, although Rachel's 115 lbs plus baggage probably has a negligible effect.

Furthermore, why is it cheaper to take two planes to get to one destination than it is to take a direct flight? Has anyone ever figured this out? I guess you can argue that the market value for direct flights is higher because travel time is cut down, but really.....you're in the air longer, you're covering more ground....you'd think it'd cost more. Imagine if you needed to take a cab from Corvallis to Lebanon. Would it be cheaper to take a cab straight to Lebanon, or to take a cab to Albany where you would get out of that cab and into another cab? I don't get it.

Complete Subject Change Ahead!

I got a chain email today. You know one of those "remember when...." things with like 97 things that you did when you were a kid. The idea is for you to get all nostalgic and go "awwww...I really miss drinking Kool-aid on a hot summer day." Well this one started with a little Rhyme that went like this.

"Close your eyes...And go back...



Before the Internet or the MAC



Before semi automatics and crack"

Now I'm not sure where this email originated, but semi-automatics and crack still aren't part of my world. It did however bring up playing "Heads up Seven up" in class on a rainy day. That did make me go "awwww" until I realized that I don't even remember how to play that freakin game. So I looked it up.

"Seven students are picked and stand in front of the class. The rest of the class places their heads on their desks. The seven go out and each touch a person. The touched person would stick his or her thumb up. Then the seven would say "heads up seven up" and each student got one chance to guess which of the seven touched him if they guessed right than they changed places. If they did not the same person got to stay up."

Really? That's it? That's how you play? And this kept us entertained on recesses when it rained? My goodness, and I thought I was easily amused now.

Cinco de Mayo

Why Cinco de Mayo has taken on such high status among me and my friends is beyond me. None of us have any Mexican in us at all. Dave's probably the closest, but his link is tenuous at best. His basketball was stolen by a mexican as a kid. Maybe he saw this as the act of a powerful race, and therefore identified with that. I don't know.


In any event, over the past few years, I've come to appreciate all things Cinco. Garth will dress up in a mariachi costume, We will listen to La Cucaracha 97 times, and everyone will get smashed off of tequilla. These guys go all out for tequilla. I believe Garth was spending $400 or something ridiculous this time.

The one great thing in college was that Cinco De Mayo usually fell somewhere around mom's weekend, which meant my mother got to witness some of the festivities every year. Somewhere on the internet, there's a video of a drunken Dave doing the booty dance to a song called "Poppi Grande" for my mom with his ass showing. It's pretty funny. I wish I still had it, but I'm determined to get it back.

Really, I have no care for the 5th of May. It's really no different from the Quattro de Mayo to me. However, it is one of my favorite holidays just because it is an excuse for all of us guys to get together and hang out. Now that Dave lives in Brookings, I'm here in Corvallis, Steve's in Seattle, Joel's in SE Portland, Garth is in Beaverton, JR is in Gresham, and Grant is in Tigard, it's a little more difficult for us all to get together. Plus those pesky job things seem to hamper everyone's schedule. But nobody misses Mexican independence.

I don't think Rachel's too wild about Cinco de Mayo. Fortunately for her, we're not hosting this year (which means the house stays clean) and she left today for Wisconsin and her bridal shower/bachelorette party. It's a win/win for everyone, except I have to make my own dinner and sleep alone for the next few days. At least until Dave gets liquored up and starts cuddling with me on Garth's floor.

Phone woes

To piggyback a little off of Grant's blog, I too can comment on the phone problems our family has. While checking my messages on my old cell phone today, there was a 10 minute message from my dad. He didn't know he had called me, but I heard an entire conversation between him and Zeke about putting in a fence post. It was quite hilarious. And you thought flip phones eliminated accidental calls. HA!


I will say one thing about my friends. They are early risers. I probably get more text messages and phone calls between 5 and 6 am than anyone alive. Garth TM'ed me today to forward a text that Dave had sent him. Nothing like getting woken up to an inane text message at 5:45 in the morning. So I called him to yell at him. He's like "oh sorry dude, I figured you're a working man now, so you'd be up." He forgot I don't live in portland and don't take mass transit to work like him. I didn't have to be at work til 8, and I'm a 10 minute drive from the office.

I've started having dreams involving people that I'm not inviting to the wedding. I think this is the most difficult part of the whole wedding process. There's no way you can invite everyone. We sent out 100 invitations yesterday. If you figure that most people will bring a date, we're looking at 200 people if everyone shows up. Granted, some people are coming alone, but some people are coming with families. 200 is about the max we can afford to have. So of course, there's some people that if money and space weren't an issue, I'd love to have at the wedding. Apparently my subconscious wants them there too. I keep running into them and they keep asking me when their invitation is coming and what they should wear to the wedding. It's kind of irritating. I'd like to go back to dreaming about the crazy stuff I normally dream about...stuff like being trapped in the garage of a Tyrannosaurus Rex on Jurassic Park. Yes, the T. Rex had a house. And he wore a tool belt. It was whack.