The Hot Shower Epidiemic

I'm here to write about a strange phenomenon I've come across. It seems that every guy I've talked to recently has made a comment about how his significant other takes unbearably hot showers. What is it with you women? Rachel takes showers so hot it turns her skin bright red. She sets off our smoke detectors.....no joke. One time I went into our bedroom, and the steam coming out of the bathroom was at least 8 inches thick all over the bedroom! It was like I walked into a rainforest or something with a low fog.


Now, I can't figure out why women torture themselves like this. I literally cannot stand to be in the shower when Rachel's got it at the temperature she likes. It hurts! Typically, don't women have a higher body fat percentage than men? I know that's definitely not the case in my relationship, but on the whole I think that's true. Wouldn't that mean that women would retain heat better and not need as hot showers? Or are men so much hairier that women that we trap the heat under our chest hair? I'm really confused on this.

In other news, Rachel and I are planning on going to Colorado in late June-early July. Should be a fun time....we're going to go visit the resort I worked at about 7 years ago. I'm excited about that....plus it's a road trip! Haven't done one of those since Rachel and I drove to Anaheim straight through about three years ago. This time we'll be able to take our time and enjoy it a little more.

What to do?

It's Saturday afternoon, and I'm just killing time. Rachel and my aunt went to Kohl's to do a little shopping, and I'm just sitting around waiting for the crab feed to start. It's a fundraiser for the Shriner's, and a good time every year. Plus, it's all you can eat crab!


Two things that aren't so good this Saturday: The Beavers basketball game and my exercising. Both stunk. The Beavs lost by 20, and I'll bet that Jay John says something in the papers tomorrow about how we just don't have the talent to compete, or that the players aren't good enough athletes or blah blah blah. He's been here 5 years. Every player on that team is someone he brought in. If they aren't good enough, why are they here?

My exercising was bad, because I realized that I'm probably going to have to shelve this whole marathon thing. My body just keeps breaking down....in particular my legs. If my knees don't hurt, then it's the arches in my feet. If those aren't hurting, then it's an ankle, or maybe a shin. It's just annoying. Rachel and I are toying with the idea of getting an elliptical, and maybe some non-weight bearing exercise will be what I need to get my endurance up and my conditioning up to the point where I can consider running again, but right now it's just not happening. Playing basketball is about the same. My legs just don't do what I ask them to really. It's not fun, and I don't really appreciate their lack of effort.

Two things that will be great....today is the crab feed, and it's also Joel's birthday! Make sure to wish him a happy one. I think we're hanging out with him later, but I'm not sure what we're doing. Have a good weekend y'all.

Terrorists? In Corvallis?

So yesterday, I walk into my bosses office to ask her a question. And who should be in there but an armed state trooper! Highly unusual. So it turns out some guy wanted to make a donation, so he was getting wire transfer instructions. The guy had been taken around town by our development officers all morning, and had tours of campus and what not. Apparently, somewhere along the line he started to act suspicious, and it turns out this guy is a former student from some asian country who was kicked out of the library about 9 years ago for visiting terrorist websites. He was also recognized at the bank as "someone who likes to start trouble." The best part is that he's a twin, and the people at the library used to call him "evil twin." This story is nuts. So now like half the university is freaked out because this guy has their business cards and wire transfer instructions. Apparently everyone's been alerted, so we have some plan in place. Crazy, crazy stuff.


In other terrorist news....I had a dream I was watching the Major League Playoffs on TV and I was watching a game in New York, when the power went out at the stadium. So I switched to the game being played in St. Louis, but the power was out at that stadium too! So I get online, and it turns out that terrorists have figured out some way to flood the nation. So from coast to coast, the water levels were rising rapidly. It turned out that they got this information by killing 3 NOAA scientists. Because the water was rising from east to west, we had more time to gather our belongings. I remember looking out my window and seeing the water level rising slowly up the side of the house. It was pretty scary, but then I woke up.

I had to pee real bad.

I made my first random DVR recording last night. I'm trying not to record things that I normally wouldn't watch. You know, I don't want to be glued to my TV all weekend trying to watch all the things I recorded during the week. But last night I recorded Mozart's opera "The Magic Flute." Who knew that OPB had an HD channel? I kept seeing previews for this Magic Flute thingy at the movie theater, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Who knows when I'll watch it though. Maybe if it's raining on Sunday.

One of Rachel's patients brought in puppies last night. He breeds beagles, and is trying to sell them. I know that we want a dog, but we're not sure if we're prepared for the responsibility of caring for it. I know that if we're not ready for a puppy, we're not ready for a baby....so maybe we'll end up getting the dog just so we know we're ready to take on children in the future. The puppies won't be ready to come home for another week or so, so I'll keep you posted.

The brilliancy of Rachel

I resumed my battle for HD and a DVR this weekend. I finally thought I had a leg to stand on in this argument after we spent $130 at Target on Thursday night on an armoire and sheets for the bed. I figured "hey, I let her buy whatever she wants, maybe she'll soften a little bit on this HD stance." So Friday night over dinner, I bring up HD again. I tried explaining that the $130 we spent at Target would be the equivalent of 6 months of HD. That's when she pointed out that I had just spent $120 to play basketball at Timberhill. One fell swoop, and my legs are cut out from under me. She's good. Then she says that she doesn't want to give into me because I'm not putting together a good arguement, and she'd feel bad giving in to a weak pitch, even though she knows how bad I want it.


Then the next day we go out to eat with some friends of Rachels. The HD/DVR topic comes up, and they can't stop raving about it. As soon as we say goodnight to them, Rachel's like "Ok, you can get it on Monday."

Let me just tell you how brilliant this move is. I feel great, because I feel that my pitch was going to be successful soon enough, yet she feels like she didn't give into me, rather she was convinced by someone else. Therefore, everyone's happy and Rachel still holds all the power in the relationship. A wise woman I married I tell you.

Why Portland Shuts down for Half an Inch of Snow

Everyone makes fun of Oregonians for cancelling schools everytime even one solitary snowflake hits the ground. Well there's a good reason for it. Here's how we handle snow in the Northwest:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPE8vL5hlFA

Car Sitters

I've noticed a disturbing trend recently.....people who sit in their cars on their lunch break. I understand the need to get away from your desk for a while. But c'mon......like you're really 'trading up' for the front seat of your Camry with a steering wheel jammed in your face? It'd make more sense to sit in the passenger side, but I think this would look so ridiculous that nobody would ever do it. At lunch, there's at least 3 different people that I've seen sitting in their cars. Today it was 33 degrees. And you're in your car? Only way that's comfortable is if you turn the sucker on. Then you're wasting gas AND killing the environment. Not to mention you're in a transportation vehicle and you're STATIONARY. The car was not designed for such use. Why not just stay at your desk? Or go to the break room? If you don't want anyone to bother you, put some headphones on. Doesn't matter if you're actually listening to anything....just put 'em on! I don't understand this at all. If you're a car-sitter, I just want to know the benefits of such action, because I see none.

While you were out

So it seems just about everyone and their mother had the day off today. I however did not. Though it turns out I probably could've. It was a little icy this morning in North Albany, so I delayed my departure for work by about a half an hour. No message had been left on our work hotline saying we were closed, so I went in. Roads weren't that bad at all. I get to work, and it's damn near empty. It didn't fill up much more after that. I work in a department with three people. I was the only one there. Now my boss, she had a legit excuse - She lives on a hill that I swear must be the highest peak in Corvallis. I have never seen this hill, but in my mind it is akin to the mountain the Grinch lives on. (If you remember the name of the mountain that overlooks Whoville, please let me know. It's been bothering me for a while now.)


My coworker on the other hand.....Not sure what her excuse was. She lives in Albany, and I know for a fact that the drive in to Corvallis was do-able today. I'm pretty much the worst winter driver I know, and I made it just fine. Me driving in snow is something like a newborn baby calf taking its first steps. Plus, last week I asked her if she had any problem with the roads that morning, and she said "Nah, I don't have a problem driving in stuff." Apparently she does if that "stuff" is snow and/or ice. I don't even have a problem with her coming in late.....but at least show up.

So now I'm at work by myself trying to hold down the fort. My boss is stuck on Grinch Mountain all day with no chance for a thaw, and my coworker is probably sitting on her couch watching Oprah. I swear if she comes into work and talks about how she drove to the store or even drove her car at all I'm going to flip out.

I know that today was a regularly scheduled work day, just like any other Tuesday, but when you're all by yourself in your department, and other people stayed home even though the roads cleared up by 11...well there's not much motivation to do your job. So I worked, but admittedly not as hard as I could've. I also left about 45 minutes early. Does this make me a bad person? I don't think so. Do you?

In other news, my accounting class is going fantastically. My teacher used the "smarter than the average bear" reference again today to my delight, and I seem to be grasping it better than the guy in the "hash" hat or the row of girls in Ugg boots behind me. Hope you all had a good day.......

Couple Friends and the worst movie ever

Once you enter a long term committed relationship, you're going to run into the problem of the couple friends. You'll have your friends, your signifcant other will have her friends, but for whatever reason, finding another couple in a long-term relationship that you both enjoy hanging out with is like trying to find Waldo. None of my friends in relationships live particularly close to us, all of Rachel's friends live in the midwest. We tried to be couple friends with a couple of people that I worked with, but when I got a new job, we saw less and less of each other, and realized we really didn't have anything in common with them.


The other part of the couple friends search is finding a couple that is at the same point in their lives that you are. Rachel and I just got married and bought a house, and are now starting to plan for the future, whether that includes continuning education, moving, saving for retirement, starting a family or getting a pet. That's a pretty specific moment in people's lives. We do have one couple of friends that live somewhat close to us that are also at this point in their lives, and we hung out with them this weekend.

It was great to hang out with them, because as we walked through Washington Square, I could talk to Don about sports and work and things like that, while Mieka and Rachel's conversation was all babies and puppies. If we weren't hanging out with couple friends, either Rachel would be bored with the sports talk, or I'd be in a sugary induced coma listening to baby and puppy talk. The couple friends are indeed a rare and special gift that should be treasured.

After the mall, we were given a tour of their new home and then headed to Tigard Cinemas to watch a movie. Once we got there, we decided on Happy Feet because none of us had seen it, and all of us had at least a mild interest in seeing it. What an absolute mistake that was. All in all, one of the worst movies I can remember seeing in a long time. I really can't remember ever seeing a movie where I sat with my arms with a blank stare on my face for a half an hour straight. I had no clue what to think. It wasn't funny, it wasn't emotional, it wasn't anything. Just a terrible piece of filmmaking. Robin Williams did elicit a few laughs from the crowd, but other than him, there wasn't another redeemable quality to the entire movie. I kept laughing at the serious parts because they were so terrible. Even the kids sitting around us didn't like it. Not many times you go to an animated movie and you hear kids asking their parents what's going on more than you hear them laughing. It was just terrible. Then the movie got over, and the credits started, and NOBODY LEFT. I couldn't figure it out. Either they were all in shock or something happens after the credits that I didn't know about that every other person in the theater did. The four of us got up and walked out into the lobby with bewildered looks on our faces. Then we started cracking up because we all thought it was absolutely awful. And still, after standing there discussing how bad it sucked for a good two minutes, not another person had come out the door. It was unbelievable. Never see that movie. Unless you have two hours to kill and a few bucks you don't need......don't see it. It's awful.

If you have already seen though, I'd be interested to see if any of you thought it was as bad as I did.

Thank you one and all

Every once in a while, I feel like I do way too many surveys. I feel like I'm writing the same answers to the same questions and that I'm just clogging up people's bulletin lists. And just about the time I start to feel this way, I get an email or a comment from someone telling me how much they enjoy my surveys. So thank you. I'm glad they entertain you.....I don't think I'd do them if people didn't enjoy them. I mean, I know all the answers already. It's not like I save all these bulletins and go back and read them to myself to get a little chuckle. Way back before myspace, when email was the preferred method of surveying, I used to save other people's surveys. I'd go back and read through them from time to time. I love 'em. It's like you get to interview one of your friends and get caught up on what's going on with them in like 5 minutes. That way, if I happen to run into some of these people, I have something to discuss with them.


In an ideal world, I'd be able to go out to eat with every one of my MySpace friends once a week and get all caught up. It's not a reality. Some of you people, I haven't seen in months. Others, I haven't seen in years. One of my friends I haven't seen since I was in middle school. Yet because of MySpace, I know what he's up to. How great is that?

But isn't that why we're all here? We're not here to see how many friends we have. We're not here to see how popular we are, or brag about how great our lives are. Well, maybe that's why the high school age people are here. But we're here to keep in contact with the people who somehow impacted our lives, and to keep them updated on ours. It's allowed me to reconnect with some people I might not have ever seen again. Or maybe if I would've seen them, I'd have been so clueless as to what to say to them that I might've just let them walk by without saying hello. But now, I can be like "hey, I saw you got a job doing such and such, how's that going?" My 10 year reunion is this summer (I think we're having one, though I haven't heard much on it), and to be honest, I don't think there's one person I graduated with that I really kept in contact with. I keep in contact with JR, but then again, he didn't exactly graduate on time. Because of MySpace, I've been able to keep up with a few people, and I think it'll make the reunion a whole hell of a lot less awkward at the start.

Other people, I didn't really know before myspace. They were friends of friends - people I rarely came in contact with, and when I did, it was kind of strange because we knew each other, but we didn't know what to talk about. Because of MySpace, I know a lot more about them, and I'm able to have better conversations with these people when I do come in contact with them.

This blog turned out way longer than I intended it to be when I started it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you guys. You all have fascinating lives, and it's incredibly interesting to me to find out where you are and what you're doing and who with and all that jazz. Keep in touch!

Back to School

I'm not someone who believes in signs or fate or things of that nature. But yesterday, I get to my first class of the term, and wouldn't you know it, the teacher's first speech to us students starts with, "I want all of you to be like Yogi Bear."


I'll let you flip back to my home page real quick.

Bascially he said that Yogi got up at noon and still had every picnic basket in Jellystone by sundown. The reason was that he was smarter than the average bear, and that's what he wanted us to be. I was having a real hard time keeping a straight face when he said something about how it's ok to have fun in college, but if you have too much fun, you'll be here forever, and then you'll start having less and less fun. It's like this guy was in my head!

This guy is unlike any teacher I've ever had. He's a cowboy from Brooklyn that teaches because he wants to. He was making $150 an hour running his own accounting firm in Southern California, and he gave it up to teach. If you looked up "old school" in the dictionary, you'd see a picture of Jim Byrne. If you looked up "hardcore," it'd probably say "see old school." My favorite part of the class was when some punk kid with a hat that said "HASH" on it asked him if he was going to post anything online on the blackboard website. When Byrne said no, the kid asked if he was going to use the One-Key website. Byrne just looked at him for a second and then says "I'll tell you what we are going to use......this book!" The kid looked totally pissed, and I was loving it.

I feel like I have to succeed in this class, because I'd feel like I let the cowboy down if I don't. He just kind of commands attention.

That being said, I'm supposed to read chapter one by Thursday. I'm not getting the book until Stephanie brings her old one to work Thursday morning. Nothing like starting behind just to save a few bucks

The Big Softy

So I've noticed a disturbing trend over the past few years....I'm getting increasingly emotional at movies.


Yesterday was my 6 month anniversary. Not something that really merits any applause, but hey it's a reason to celebrate. So Rachel and I went to Salem to watch a movie and eat at her favorite place, the Olive Garden. We saw the movie "We are Marshall." Great movie, although Matthew McConaghuey or however you spell his name portrays this coach as like a crazy man brought in from the mountains. It's pretty funny, but you think you're at a serious movie, and then he shows up. Anyways, there were probably 3 or 4 times during that movie that I had to literally focus on not crying. This never used to happen. I've seen movies way sadder than this, and I was fine. But now, everytime an injured player is told he can't play anymore, or everytime a dad is looking at a picture of his dead son, I start getting all emotional. I feel like all those people on the couch in the Kleenex ad. They don't know where it's coming from, but there the tears are.

I'm sure by the time I'm 40 I'm going to be crying like a baby at these movies. And I'm not looking forward to it.

Quick Hitters

A couple of quick things:


*I got three new pairs of jeans for Christmas. I had lil' smokies dumped all over the first pair new years eve. I just wrote on the second pair with a pen at work. I think I'll leave the third pair unworn until 2008.

*I'v got this new problem where when I sneeze, my left eyelid spasms for the next 30 seconds or so and my arms kind of tingle. I don't think it's good. I'll keep you posted.

*If I have to hear Clay Walker tell me about mama before she was mama one more damn time, I'm going to have to stop listening to country music radio stations. My mom didn't admit she smoked marijuana either, so you're not that special.

*People who call sports talk shows really like hearing their own voice on the radio. Oh, and no matter how many times you've gotten through to the host, you're not friends with them. Deal with it.

*I'd like you all to send Rachel a MySpace message or email or whatever telling her why we need to get TiVo and/or HD. I think she's starting to cave.

That'll teach me

Never count your chickens before they hatch, ladies and gentlemen. Yesterday I bitched about how unbusy we were at work. Then the afternoon mail came. There was so much of it, we dubbed the stacks of mail "Little Tokyo." It's 6:40 and I'm already at work, waiting for the copier to warm up so I can start copying stuff. Nice going, Andy.


Alright, off to the grind. You guys all have an awesome 4th of January. Peace.

odd

Just had this phone conversation with JR


Me: Hello?

JR: 'Sup man, you watching the game?

Me: I have it on in the other room, but no I'm not watching. Why?

JR: Is Notre Dame winning?

Me: No, they're down 14-7.

JR: Who are they playing?

Me: LSU.

JR: You got anything special going on this week?

Me: Nope, just working. We're still pretty busy with end of year stuff.

JR: Alright man, well I was just checking in on the game. Have a good week.

Me: Ok.

This guy has been my best friend since I was 6 years old. And that's what our conversations have deteriorated to. It's kind of a bummer. Wow.

Is it December yet?

So it's been one and a half work days since we started the new year. Already there's nothing to do. This is freaking insane. I have 11 months of this to look forward to. Last year, up until June wasn't so bad, because I was brand new here and didn't know what the heck was going on. So it took me three or four times as long to do things as it does now. So here I sit, with four hours of time to kill before I can go home. How did my life come to this - 27 years old, with a job that requires so little of me?


I know there's nothing good that can come from playing the "what if" game. For instance, what if I'd tried to find a small college to play baseball or basketball at out of high school? Chances are I'd be in a lot better shape right now than I am, I'd probably have got a degree a lot quicker because I would've stayed on top of my coursework to stay eligible, and as a result have a little less debt and a better job, thanks to a few more years in the work world. On the flip side, I'd never have met some of my best friends, almost certainly wouldn't have met and married Rachel, and I would not be the avid OSU fan I am today. All three of those things happen to be very important to me.

Besides, if I'd been a college athlete, there's a distinct chance I would've experimented with drugs and/or alcohol at some point, probably had unprotected sex with a disease-ridden jersey chaser, and I'd probably have an over inflated ego, causing me to be a total dick to everyone not in my circle of friends.

I think I made the right decision. Sometimes it doesn't feel like I did, but the "what if" game always brings me back to reality.

time to break some resolutions

First off, laptops blow. I'm using Bryony's computer right now, and I don't even know what I touched, but I had a really good blog going, and poof...it's all gone. Now I'll never be able to get the poetry I had back. And you're the ones that get punished. I'll try and re-create the magic, but no promises.


I've never been a big resolution guy. Mostly because I suck at them. I have a hard time with commitment. I've never really been a "keep plugging away" kinda guy. Every year I say "I'm giving up fast food, I'm exercising regularly, and I'm going to class (when I was in college.) Every year I eat salads, jog a few miles and have perfect attendance for two weeks. Then I "reward" myself with a little holiday.

The holiday lasts 50 weeks. Then I start again. Rinse. Wash. Repeat.

So here I am again. Another excuse to change my life for the better. Another chance to be the person that I want to be. My biggest fear used to be dying before I was ready to go. Now I think it's not being able to play with my kids for fear I'll have a heart attack or pass out. Plus, if I'm a lazy pile of poo, what are my kids going to become? That's right. Poo Jr. And the last thing we need in this world is more poo.

I ended up going to a party where there was one person I knew well....Joel. There were a few others I know on an aqcuaintance level, but a vast majority I'd never met. And you know what? I actually had a pretty good time. I sang along with the lyrics to every song I knew that came on, called a friend I haven't talked to in a long time and had a good conversation, ate some fudge that was great, and even had weenie juice dumped on my pants by an intoxicated lesbian. (don't ask, but that's what happened.) My initial plan had been to hang out with my family and then go to a party at my brother's house, but when his party was moved elsewhere, I realized that I wouldn't have the comfort of being in familiar surroundings where I felt I belonged. Instead, I was going to be the dateless creepy older guy at a party with a bunch of beer-ponging early 20-somethings. While it would've been fun to hang out with Grant, I really didn't want to go that route. So I ended up being talked into going to this party with Joel. For not having very high expectations for the night, I was pleasantly surprised. And, despite all the rapping and bad dancing I did...I wasn't the weirdest guy there. I give that honor to the guy in the kilt. Although he seemed pretty cool....so what do I know?

Hope you all had a safe and happy New Year's Eve. Looking forward to enjoying a great 2007 with all of you!