So last night was my grandpa Butch's 85th birthday. This means all four of my grandparents made it to 85. I'm feeling pretty good about the length of my life. Plus my mom's beaten breast cancer and my dad, who might've been one of the unhealthiest people alive during the 80's and 90's has had no serious health problems closing in on his double-nickel (55) birthday. Bring on the fast food and inactivity!
Anyways, over the past few years Butch has become pretty intrigued in our family ancestry. He wrote a book a few years back that was half autobiography, half genealogy. The autobiography part is pretty interesting, the genealogy part put me to sleep. Now I'm sure piecing together your family history is pretty interesting, listening to someone recite names and dates for 20 minutes at dinner - be it about your family or otherwise - is brutal. Last night Butch came through with a story about some guy who supposedly crossed the Delaware with Washington during the Revolutionary War. This guy ended up surviving the war and having a family. And his granddaughter, Amelia Lemon or something, ended up moving to the midwest and marrying some guy named Persinger. Rachel's last name is Persinger. You know in a tennis match how all the heads in the crowd follow the ball back and forth? That was dinner last night. Everyone's head snapped around from watching Butch to see Rachel and my reactions. Nothing like finding out that your girlfriend of the past few years might just be a distant cousin. There's no witty comment to save you from that one. Again, I'm going to stress the word DISTANT.
In lighter news, as I used the restroom at Gill Coliseum today, I noticed that those paper toilet seat covers are made by a company called "Life Guard." C'mon.....I think we're overstating the importance of toilet seat covers here. I highly highly highly doubt you're going to contract anything fatal from a toilet seat. Maybe some sort of jumping insect, but I have a hard time believing that a flimsy sheet of paper is going to offer much protection from scabies or crabs. And honestly, nobody carries diseases on their butt cheeks. A butt cheek is probably less germy than the hand that touched the roll before you. So I imagine that the paper is there to cover up anything that might've "splashed" onto the seat. Now if there's some pee on the toilet seat, it's going to soak through the paper and touch your butt anyways. And if there's some fecal matter on the seat, well no amount of paper is going to get me to sit on that seat. Period. Anyone who tells you different is a liar....or severely disturbed. This led me to believe that the paper toilet seat cover may be the greatest invention of all time. They are essentially worthless, serving no actual purpose. Yet every public restroom in America is virtually required to carry them to ease the paranoid and phobic minds of the general public. Absolutely brilliant.
That's all I got.....enjoy American Idol tonight! And yes, I do have a Carrie Underwood wallpaper on my computer right now....get yours today at idolonfox.com!
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