Anyone wanna hire an athlete?

OSU is now posting the job resumes of student athletes at osubeavers.com. Apparently they're having trouble finding a job on the merits of their working ability, so they're now trying to use the fact that they can hit a golf ball well enough to not make it on the PGA Tour to get them a job.


Now, I don't have a problem with the university doing this for their athletes. What I do have a problem with is that they don't do this for all students. They could just as easily post resumes of all graduating seniors on the regular website. The point is that if Prudential is looking for a good accountant, their first idea isn't going to be "hey, you know who would be good for this job? A gymnast!" But if the Prudential's CEO is an OSU alum who saw you get a 9.8 on the beam against Stanford last fall, he might say "hey I like her, she looks good in a unitard" and offer her a job. It's stupid.

Speaking of stupid, some of these resumes are downright pathetic. A lot of them have little or no work experience, which is to be expected because of NCAA regulations. Kyle Jeffers, for example, has "played varsity basketball at OSU" under his 'experience' section. Of course, he's also got someone else's email address and phone number at the top of his resume. Apparently when he was cutting and pasting over someone elses work, he missed that section. He also lists "honorable mention all-freshman Pac-10" as a way to highlight his "experience." Under the heading "SAAC representative, he has a bullet that says "vote on actions." What the hell does that mean? He's also part of something called the Student Alumni Association. I'm not sure how you can be a student and an alumni, but ok.

Another athlete who lists his objective as "seeking a position in team oriented business to utilize my communication and leadership skills." He then lists his experience at a marketing company, where he "sold kitchen cutlery to a variety of Oregon State Alumni." What people who didn't go to OSU don't get knives? Or were baseball boosters the only people who would accept your shitty pitch for the ginsu set? He also says that he "drove a variety of automobiles" as a grounds crew worker. Yeah, that's an important skill that highlights your communication and leadership skills.

I'm not sure this is the best way to get these kids jobs. I think they'd be better off calling successful boosters and just saying "please."