Office reality?

I probably say this once every few months or so, but god bless rap music. Where else can you get such fantastic lyrics as "if I ain't got a weapon I'm gonna pick up a rock?"


I also know that many of the lyrics are misogynistic and demeaning and just plain crude.....but when you're on 99-W and there's nothing but fields to look at, nothing passes the time faster than bobbing your head to a phat Dre beat.

Don came up with a brilliant idea the other day....start a reality show called "Lunch Room." The premise of the show is to get all the gossipy ladies at the office (you know your office/school/etc. has a group of ladies that just like to talk about anything) and just film the lunch hour. There's absolutely no way that you wouldn't have enough content to fill a half hour show once a week.

And every office has at least one of the following characters:

The hypochondriac - This person constantly has some obscure illness/ailment/disease. They have no problem telling you about their low blood sugar, wandering spleen, UTI, etc. NEVER EVER ask this person how they are doing. You'll be listening to a laundry list of doctor's appointments and diagnoses for the next half hour.

The proud mom - This one you have to watch out for. You'll feel like part of the family by the end of the first week. Every second of dead air is filled with "my son Tyler did this," or "Jasmine's so cute, listen to what she did." This is ok if your kid is 5 or younger, but when little Jasmine is 16, we don't want to hear about her paper on western economics or how you caught her making out with her boyfriend. The other thing is that they always say "Tyler, my son......" before starting the story. OF COURSE HE'S YOUR SON! We've only heard about him every day since he started kindergarten.

The Political - This person may be the scariest of them all. Be they Republican, Democrat or whatever, they don't give a crap about your opinions. They just want to make sure you know theirs. These are the people who say we should just bomb the hell out of South Korea before they get us or say they're "this close" to moving to Canada, yet they never do. If you try to offer an opposing viewpoint, get ready to rumble.

The One-Upper - Perhaps the most annoying person in the Lunch Room. This person will never offer up the first story of the lunch hour, but offers up a similar story of more grandiose proportions as soon as you finish your story. For example, if you told a story about how your son just muttered his first word, the One-Upper will be ready with a more detailed, cuter story about how they kept saying "can you say daddy?" to which the kid replied "Kitty!" or something. You saw someone drive off from the gas station without putting their gas cap back on? Big deal. One-Upper saw someone pull out with the hose still in their tank.

Ah yes, people would be talking about the Lunch Room. And you know where'd they would talk about it? In their own lunch rooms. The show is an instant water cooler winner.