Me? A Thief?

So last night Rachel and I are nice and comfy on the couch watching National Bingo Night. Yeah, we're that exciting on a Friday night. Around 9:30, there's a knock on our door. I get up and answer it, and to my surprise, there's an officer of the law there. He asks if he can come in and talk to us for a second. "About what?" I ask. He says he has some questions about some rocks. Rachel and I both thought that maybe he wanted to buy them, which would be great since we want to get rid of all the river rock in our backyard. Heck, we'd have given them to him for free. But no, that's not why he was there.


The people in the house behind us have accused us of stealing rock from them. Apparently we have about 4 or 5 pieces of shale in our backyard that look like some rock they have piled up in their yard. So they called the cops. The cop asks us how long we've lived there. I say "since July." He says "this July?" I say "yes." Immediately the cop gets a smile on his face and says "It's only May. How did you move in in July of this year?" Smartass. Obviously I did not move in two months into the future. Yet he seems to think that he caught me in some sort of a lie, because he makes a point to say "so you moved in in July of LAST year."

Once the time of our arrival on Riverbow Ave is established, the cop then asks us if we've ever been in our neighbor's yard. I say no. He says "well he claims he has videotape." Why this guy is videotaping his rock, I have no clue. So I say "wait, this guy says he has me on videotape stealing his rock?" to which the officer replies "well he says he has a videotape......why do you think you're on it?" I reply "I'm pretty sure he doesn't have me on videotape." Now the cop's all over me. "You're pretty sure? So you're saying there's a chance?" Now I'm starting to get annoyed, so I say "can you show me the rock in question?" So we go into the yard, and sure enough, there's some rock back there.....the same rocks that were there when we moved in. We try and explain this to the cop, who says again "have you ever been into your neighbor's yard." And I say again "no, I've never been over that fence." He says "Have any of your friend's ever been in his yard?" To which I say "not to my knowledge." He says "But your friend's could've been in his yard?" Apparently I'm supposed to know everything that everyone I know is doing at all times.

At this point the cop has pissed off Rachel who comes into the yard and says "that rock has been here since we moved in. He probably couldn't see it because there were weeds there which we just pulled last week. We don't want the rocks. If they are that important to him, we will give him the rocks. He can also take these rocks here, and this one there, and there's a few over here he can have too." At this point the cop decides he's had enough and says "thank you for your time."

I don't know what we did to piss our neighbors off, but I'm really starting to hate this place. It's a foregone conclusion now that we won't be living in Albany any longer than we have to. Stupid city.