This just in: Rap bad for spelling

I was just reading the "Beavers Blog" on the oregonlive.com website. The writer refers to something as being "ludacris." He's a person, not an adjective.


I was worried about this happening when Fabolous came out with "Can't Deny it." Was a whole generation of children going to grow up misspelling ludicrous and fabulous. I don't get why it's cool to spell your name wrong. Oukast, DJ Quik, DJ Tekneek, I mean come on. Remember when you learned to write, they had you write the sentence "the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" because it had every letter of the alphabet in it? Well no more.

These days you'd write "Tha Quik Brown Foxx jumped over tha layzie dawg."

The day I lost to life

If you're keeping score at home, it's Life 1, Andy 0 for the day.


I just had one of those days where you just feel like a failure. From 10:30 to about 3, I had absolutely squat to do at work. My boss was in a meeting, so I couldn't even ask for more stuff to do. Not that there was any. So I just had time to think. And when I have too much time to think, I usually end up thinking something along the lines of "how on earth did you turn out so crappy professionally?"

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with the way I've lived my life. I've made some great friends, I don't think I have any enemies. I've been straightforward and honest, I've done a lot of cool things, I married a wonderful woman, I have my own house......but I'm working for $23,000 a year at a job that I'm pretty sure any 15 year old could do. And, like any 15 year old, I'm bitching about my problems on MySpace. Next thing you know I'll be planning an assault on my local high school on this damn website. Seriously kids.....get a clue. If you're going to do something illegal, it's probably not a good idea to write about it on the WORLD WIDE WEB. You know where the entire world can read about it?

How did this happen? Again, I think that if I'd just found some crappy job right out of high school, I'd be better off financially now than I'll probably be three years from now WITH my college degree. Does anyone else see the irony in that? It's just frustrating when I see how successful some of my good friends are. The only difference between them and me is that they started college with a goal. I started with a "whatever, I'll figure it out." Now they're achieving their goals, and I'm busy thanking my lucky stars that my wife is acheiving hers.

There's my infrequent "woe is me" bitch. I don't do it that often, because I know my life is good and I really shouldn't bitch about anything, but that's what blogs are for right? For us to say the things we never say audibly? For us to be self centered? For us to badger our readers with questions?

Why I love football

Now that I'm out of school, I don't often sit in the student section anymore. Thusly, I'm exposed to an entirely different type of OSU fan. Gone are the shirtless guys screaming obscenities at random opposing linemen. Gone are the girls trying to make a statement by wearing "OSU Drinking Team" shirts that they've cut short and/or tied behind them to make them tighter. I guess that statement is "I'm a drunk whore....come get lucky."


For this weekends game, I sat in the end zone with the everyday fan. It was kind of nice...nobody was obnoxiously drunk, and you didn't have too many of the people who take football WAY too seriously like you would in a season ticket section. You know, the guys who bitch about every call, and are ready to fire the coach after every play that doesn't go for a first down.

Sitting in front of me Saturday night was a guy and his son. His son was probably about 10 years old, and was wearing an OSU jersey and a U of O hat. I wanted to question this kid (and his dad) for his sports polygamy, but I decided I wouldn't want someone someday badgering my son because he was confused. I chalked it up to this kid still trying to figure out his own identity. Anyways, this kid became very interested in everything me and the people I was sitting with said. He chimed in his two cents any chance he got. He got really excited when he overheard us mention that Qdoba was giving out free tacos if OSU scored 40 points. Because we were up 38-0 at the time, the lure of the free taco was the only thing keeping us really interested in the game. This kid then mentioned that OSU should put a powerpuff girl inside the ball so that when they kicked a field goal, she could fly it right through the uprights. I really had no clue how to respond to that one. Apparently his dad didn't either, because he just buried his face in his hands and started shaking his head. I swear his shoulders sagged about 6 inches as well. It was as if he felt he'd failed as a father. Apparently his son wasn't only dealing with his sports identity, but his sexual identity as well. Poor dad. I don't mean to bag on this kid because he was a really nice kid. He just kept shooting himself in the foot everytime he opened his mouth.

It got worse too. When I said something about starting a chant of "Taco, Taco" when we got the ball back, the guy next to me said "Give me a T!" then this kid goes "T! Give me an O!" Which I think made his dad ready to either drink a fifth of tequila or finally pony up the money for private school. This of course got our whole section cheering for a free 'toco' which I think saved the kid a little embarassment and maybe salvaged his father's faith in him.

In other news, on the way to work today I decided to take an alternate route to work because I had a little extra time on my hands. Ya know, just to break up the monotony. I was promptly delayed by the world's longest train. Once the train cleared, I was abruptly stopped again by family of Ducks crossing the street. And they weren't in a hurry either. So I was 5 minutes late. Last time I mess with routine.

A grave injustice

So I just found out that student workers here at the OSU Foundation get a $0.25 an hour raise for every term they work here. If you're making $8 starting, after a year of working here, you'd get $8.75, assuming you don't work summers. that's roughly a 9% raise for your first year. I just completed my first year here, and my raise? A measly 2.5% How does that work? They don't even work full time! Not that I don't appreciate the student workers, since some of them work harder than the full time staff.....but c'mon. This is ri-goddamn-diculous.

Wow

So there were a few articles in the Oregonian about the replay official in the Ducks game last weekend receiving death threats. He says he knows he screwed it up, and he's having trouble sleeping and his blood pressure won't come down and all this stuff. Apparently the guy has been an official since the early 80's and has done Rose Bowls and Fiesta Bowls. Yet he botched this call, and it undoubtedly cost Oklahoma the game. I feel terrible for the guy, for Oklahoma, and basically anyone involved not affiliated with the University of Oregon, who should count this win up to sheer luck. Anyone who says Oklahoma is just being sore losers is right. But wouldn't you be sore if a major game was basically taken away from you because the guy in the replay booth didn't get enough time to go over the play and get it right? Any Oregon fan who tries to say "that's just the way the ball bounces" should be strung up, because they're lying and they know it.


In other news, work is killing me right now. Yesterday we were fairly busy all day, which was nice. Today, I've been working hard all morning, and now I fear I'll have nothing to do this afternoon. Such is life. My coworker claims she's had absolutely no time to do this project our boss gave her a few weeks back, yet when our boss says "you really need to get that done," amazingly she has a full morning to get it done today. This is why I need a new job. What I really need is to start a business so I can hire people that work when there's work to be done and can have fun when times are slow. Who wouldn't want to work at a place like that? Now I just need to figure out what business I'm going to start.

I'm also going to another advising appointment with the college of business this afternoon. Apparently I might not have to take Math 111 after all. I'm going to try and get a comprehensive idea of what I want to do....hopefully this advisor will be more on the level with me.

Wicked!

Last night Rachel and I made a trip up to Portland to see the musical "Wicked." I had an absolute blast. It was amazingly good. I know I'm kind of weird guy, but I don't think there was a person in Keller Auditorium last night that didn't have a great time. At intermission, the lights came on, and EVERYONE was grinning ear to ear and talking about how good it was. I'm not kidding. Not only was it good, it was extremely funny. People were genuinely excited about what they were seeing. While it lost a little steam after intermission, it was still well worth the price of admission. If you have a free night between now and Sunday night and you're going to be in the Portland area, I'd strongly suggest you see about getting tickets. I heard that if you call the auditorium, they sometimes hold same day tickets to sell to people to fill the seats.


The play didn't really follow the book, and that's a good thing. The strange book makes some pretty strange twists and turns on its way to a strange conclusion. The play has a much more defined story line and ties into the original Wizard of Oz much better. While I thought the book was alright, the musical is by far a better time, and it's only about a third as long as the time it'd take you to read the book.

Well I'm off to work.....did I mention my new car gets 25.4 MPG? That's a little better than the 6 I'm used to

Sweet Brown Sugar

After 27 years and 600,000 miles, the time has finally come to put Brown Sugar out to pasture. Rachel and I finally pulled the trigger on a new car, and Saturday we purchased a 2007 Jeep Compass. I'd like to say a few words about the Brown Ford F-250 that has been a part of my life since the day I was born.


Brown Sugar, you've been there my whole life. My dad brought you home the day before I was born. I remember the good times......sitting in a lawn chair in the parking lot at Wilsonville High School, the yearly christmas tree hunts when you triumphantly brought home the symbol of the season, you helping me through the tough times after I totalled the Bronco, your durability and no matter how much you whined and complained, you always started....eventually.

I remember the bad times. The time your rear view mirror just came off the windshield in my hand, dying on Highway 34, running out of gas despite the gas gauge showing there's still juice in the tank on numerous occasions, the overwhelming gasoline smell you developed over the past few months, your strange insistence that third gear is not cool. I know you loved me, but you had a strange way of showing it.

So Thursday night, I will be taking you for one last ride up I-5 back to dad's house, where you will inevitably sit in the driveway and continue to rust. The hole in your floor will get bigger, the moss in the back window will continue to flourish. We'll still take you on christmas tree hunts if you'll let us, but your daily drives are a thing of the past.

Anyone who wants to join in the funeral train from Corvallis to Tigard is welcome to follow along in a silent drive up I-5 on Thursday night. As a show of respect to Brown Sugar, we ask that you disable your right headlight and drive with "one eye open." It's the only way Brown Sugar would want it.

I drank beer?

Yes, it finally happened. I can't believe I forgot to mention this.


At the reception last week in Wisconsin I was talking to Rachel's friend Heidi. I was sipping my water and being the good listener I am, I was not looking at my drink. So when I set it down right next to cup of Miller Lite, I did not notice. Nor did I notice when I picked up the Miller. But I definitely noticed when I took a sip and my mouth instantly registered that something was wrong. So I did the natural thing. I got the foreign substance out of my body as quickly as possible. I accomplished this feat by opening my mouth and letting gravity take whatever was in it (I'm told that's what beer tastes like) out of my mouth. So basically I just spit a mouthful of beer all over the table. Fortunately, Heidi was the only one who saw this, but I'm told that I had a look of utter shock and horror on my face. She thought it was hilarious. I was scarred. Definitely not the highlight of the weekend.

To those of you who drink......how do you drink that shit? It tastes like...well I don't know what it tastes like, but I know I didn't like it.

Back on the job

Well, my summer of fun is over. I bought a house, I got married, I went to Hawaii, and I've just returned from a second reception in Wisconsin. That was a lot of fun. The Sports Guy wrote a column about his trip to Milwaukee on ESPN.com last week, and what he said is so true.....it's really like people in Wisconsin didn't get the memo that eating obscene amounts of red meat and cholesterol laden foods was bad for you. I think in the five days I was there, I probably took five years off my life. Nothing but burgers, brats, frozen custard, cheesy potatoes, bacon, chicken wings and the like for 5 straight days. It was good, but by last night, I was actually missing the feeling of an empty stomach. I'm going to try and quit the Wisconsin diet cold turkey and switch to a diet of cheerios and baked potatoes for the next few days to see if I can somehow get my body back to feeling like a well oiled machine rather than an overfull water balloon.


The other thing I learned is that Wisconsin is not the barren wasteland I've seen in the winters. That place is greener than Oregon in the summers. See, while we get rain 9 months of the year, they get a little bit year round. So there were trees and fields of corn and some of the greenest grass you've ever seen everywhere! It was really a beautiful place, and I'm sorry I'd only seen it in sub-zero temperatures with nothing was living prior. Everyone was so nice to us there too. It's a great place to visit. I don't think I could handle winters there though. I like being able to feel my face when I go outside.

If you are ever in the midwest and you come across a culver's restaurant....stop and get a butter burger. It sounds gross, but trust me, it's fantastic.