Friday, February 3, 2012

I dunno, whatever you want

A quick comment on parenting, then and then a funny story from last night:

Do other parents have a problem with their kids not making decisions?  Jonah is the worst.  He'll say "hey dad, do you want to play something with me?"  I'll say "sure, what do you want to play?"  His response is ALWAYS "I dunno, whatever you want to play."

EVERY TIME.

Remember, he's the one that wants to play.  I'm more than happy to play, but invariably when I suggest something, he shoots it down.  "Want to play basketball?"  "No, pick something else."  "Monopoly?"  "No DaDa, something where you have to move your whole body!"  "That's why I suggested basketball."  "NOT BASKETBALL!  Let's have superhero battles!"

Ah ha!  He's known what he's wanted to do this whole time!  "Ok, superhero battles it is.....I'm going to be Thor, who are you going to be?"

"I dunno, who do you want me to be?"

Really?  Do we have to  do this with everything?  I'll suggest like six or seven superheroes and there's always something wrong with them.  Can't be Spiderman, he doesn't have any webs.  Can't be Superman, he doesn't have a cape on.  Can't be Hulk, his skin isn't green.  He'll then settle on Wolverine, and of course he has no problem pretending that he has 15 inch metal claws shooting out of his knuckles.  Selective imagination....who knew?

We do this with everything.  He'll ask to watch TV, then I have to choose what cartoon we watch.  He'll shoot down everything before demanding to watch Phineas and Ferb.  He'll ask for dinner, then say "I dunno, what do you want to make?"  I'll suggest 97 things, before he finally says "No silly head, you make me chicken nuggets!"  It's maddening.  I've started saying "No, I'm not picking anything.  If you want to play, you pick something and I'll play with you."  He then starts pouting, but eventually chooses something and off we go.  Hopefully we'll be able to break this habit soon, because I'm getting seriously frustrated. 

Now, for the funny story from last night.  At least I thought it was funny.  Jonah and I are playing Wii Fit.  Jonah goes first and that stupid board says "Good evening Jonah!  You know, it's been a long time since I've seen Andy...."  I get it, board.  I don't exercise as much as I should.  It then goes on to ask Jonah how my posture looks, and if I seem to be losing any weight.  I'm sure it's cataloging all this information to use against me in a few weeks.  I'll boot it up and it'll say "Jonah says you're lying about your exercise habits, Andy.  You can't fool me."  Whatever.

Jonah goes through his measurements (he's holding steady at 38 pounds.  He's going to make a great jockey someday)  and takes his daily fitness test.  It gives him a "Wii Fit Age of 5."  He loved that it thought he was older than he was.  So then it's my turn.  I'm holding steady at 255 (well on my way to being this guy).  So then I do my tests....the stillness test and the prediction test.  How these are fitness tests I don't know.  The first one, the goal is to NOT MOVE and the second one you just rock back and forth slowly.  Amazingly, I'm a pro at being stationary.  The Wii gives me a "fit age" of 22, to which I say to Rachel "you hear that honey!  This is the body of a 22 year old!" and then start dancing like I'm Flynt Flossy or something:


Rachel was cooking dinner in the kitchen, so I didn't see the eye roll she most likely gave me, but I definitely heard the sarcastic "how did I get so lucky?" remark.  It's cliche and I say it all the time, but I'm extremely fortunate to have the love of this woman.  I can't say it enough.

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