Most stories start "it was a day like any other."
This is not one of those stories.
Saturday morning I found myself in a nightmare. Literally, a nightmare. In my dream, I woke up having to go to the bathroom. I get out of bed, head to the bathroom, lift up the seat......only to find that my tennis shoes have been thrown into the crapper. I figure Rachel's playing a joke on me. So I head to the other bathroom. There, I find our plunger and garbage can balanced precariously atop the toilet. Now I'm mad. "Rachel!" I scream. "What's the big idea?" Rachel looks at me with a look of total confusion. At this point the only thought that enters my mind is that it must be a ghost.
Just then, Rachel woke up to see me twitching in my sleep. Realizing that I was dreaming, she lightly touched my back. I, still asleep, think that it is the toilet ghost, so I jump like someone shot me, scaring Rachel half to death and damn near knocking myself out of bed. Good morning to you too!
Saturday was also the annual Starker Forests Tree hunt. It really helps to have a relative in the tree game this time of year. We just go out on some forest land, chop down a tree, throw it on a one-ton truck, and a few hours later it's delivered right to your doorstep. Oh, and there's a hot dog roast and we make s'mores and sing christmas carols too. It's a great time.
Over the years, a tradition within this tradition has sprung up. My cousins select the largest tree that can possibly fit into their parents house. Seeing how they have a 20 foot vaulted ceiling, this ends up being a rather large tree. Usually finding these trees means wandering quite a ways away from the hot dogs and carolers. This year was no different. They found a nice 18 footer at the base of a giant hill, about a quarter mile or so from camp. A quarter mile doesn't sound like a long ways...unless of course that quarter mile includes about a 200 foot rise in elevation on loose, wet dirt covered by a thick foliage of evergreens and blackberry bushes. Now it gets tricky. It takes three to four people to move the tree. The tree blocks off all view of the ground in front of you if you're behind the tree. Guaranteed someone is falling on their ass more than once. I have a nice three inch scratch on my shin from a blackberry bush that I didn't see. It sounds like a bitch, and it is. But going through this with your wife, brother, and cousins makes it fun. Though we're all sweaty, tired, bleeding and covered in tree pitch, we're laughing the entire way up the hill.
But emerging victorious from the forest with an 18 foot symbol of the season and being greeted by a fire to roast your hot dog over is what Christmas is all about to me. I wouldn't trade the blood, sweat and tears for anything. Hope you're having as much fun this holiday season as I am!
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