Thursday, January 17, 2013

Catfishin' in the Dark

Rough week for superstar athletes.  Lance Armstrong had to go sit on Oprah's couch to tell the American public what we already knew.  Manti Te'o had to admit that his dead girlfriend wasn't real.

Let me say this again.  The guy who finished second in the Heisman Trophy balloting, the highest ever for a defensive player, had to admit that his girlfriend was made up.  By comparison, the guy who won the Heisman Trophy, Johnny Manziel, is dressing up like Scooby Doo and partying with girls in their underwear.  Google it. It happened.  So how is it, in a time where we glorify athletes, entertainers, and even the children of famous people for not other reason than they're pretty, that a guy has to make up a girlfriend?

The answer is that he doesn't.  I don't think Te'o was a part of this whole hoax from the get-go.  He may have become a part of the hoax later, but no way was he in on it from the jump.  I think he was an 18 year old that got hooked by a pretty picture and some flirty words on the internet.  That I can buy.  Mostly because it happens to people all the time.

Thinking back to when I was in college, I spent a lot of time online.  This seems pretty universal amongst college kids these days.  In my day, it was AIM (AOL Instant Messenger), and from there college age kids migrated to MySpace, Facebook, and now Twitter.  These places are basically online night clubs where you don't have to worry about getting slipped a roofie while you look for a suitable mate.  I know that I had much more luck with the ladies online than I did in person.  Heck, I initially met my wife online.  Much as I wish it weren't true, I'm much more interesting when I'm typing than when I'm sitting in a room with someone. Thankfully, I've never had to lie about myself online to seem interesting, but it'd be so easy to do.  And a lot of people are willing to believe anything you say, especially if you're pretty.  Because we WANT the things pretty people say to us to be true.  I remember one girl I talked to online who went by the name blueeyedgirl16 or something like that, sent me a picture of an absolutely phenomenal looking girl.  I knew deep down she was probably lying.  Heck, after a week or two of chatting infrequently with her, I was pretty bored with everything she had to say.  And yet I continued to talk to her for months just on the off chance that she was being straight up with me.  When you're in your teens, you just don't get the chance to talk to drop dead gorgeous people that often, so you're willing to stretch the limits of common sense and reason for that chance.  One time I drove nine hours to spend my spring break with a girl I'd met in person once because she was attractive and had seemed interested in me.  That did not turn out well, and in hindsight it was pretty foolish to jump all in like that.  However, she hooked me.

So Manti Te'o got hooked.  He started an online friendship.  I can believe that.  It's a stretch, but I'll even go along with the fact that he started to think of her as his girlfriend.  What I won't buy is that he maintained that she was his girlfriend for FOUR YEARS without ever meeting in person.  I never thought of Rachel as my girlfriend until we met in person and I could confirm for myself that she was exactly the person I'd gotten to know online.  Prior to her moving to Seattle and giving us a chance to meet in person and really get to know each other, had I met a girl that I really, really liked it, it would've seriously curbed the amount of time I spent talking to Rachel online.  100% certain of that.  This is where Manti's story starts to get pretty shady.  I'm convinced he realized at some point that the girl he was talking to online wasn't who she said she was.  Only problem was that he was MANTI F'ING TE'O, middle linebacker for NOTRE F'ING DAME.  That guy is not supposed to fall for a girl he's never met in person, who it turns out is some dude named Ronaiah.  So what does he do?  He goes along with it.  He lies.

Athletes lie all the time.  They cheat and say they didn't.  They fudge résumés to get coaching jobs.  The lie about their ages to seem more appealing to college or pro scouts.  Schools lie about a player's test scores to get them eligible.  All of these things happen.  Manti Te'o is not the first athlete to lie, nor will he be the last.  I'm not going to vilify him for that.  But here's the thing...your lie has to be believable.  And on the surface, his lie about a dead girlfriend was believable.  We all bought it.  I never heard a single person say "something's fishy about this dead girlfriend thing."  It had one of those "if you took this story to Hollywood, they'd reject it because nobody would believe it" quality to it.  Except, of course, the part about how we ALL believed it.

Looking back, it's easy to see some things that don't make sense.  If you haven't read the transcript of Sports Illustrated's Pete Thamel's interview with T'eo, you should.  Knowing now that his girlfriend never existed, his comments are just mind blowing.  I find it hard to believe the things Manti told the reporter.  At one point during the interview, he maps out everything that happened to her in the hospital.  She flatlined twice.  They were close to pulling the plug, and at the last moment a doctor says he'd like to try an experimental treatment that works.  I'd say that it sounds over the top even for Gray's Anatomy, but this is a show where Izzy HAD SEX WITH A GHOST. And yet the reporter believed enough of it to run a story about all of this in one of the most respected sports magazines in the country.  It's mind boggling.  But that's the power of Notre Dame college football.  Because of who he was, because of the sport he played, because of the school he played that sport at, he was believed.  Heck, the reporter even says in the transcript that "this is unbelievable."


So I get that Manti got fooled.  But why did they kill off the girlfriend?  What's the payoff in ending the relationship like that?  If you're the scammer, what do you benefit from killing her off.  If you're Te'o, why don't you just say that you broke up with her?  None of it makes sense, and probably won't until Manti or the catfisher come forward.  People have any number of explanations, from "they wanted to make up a story to win the Heisman," to "Manti was gay and the fake girl profile was a way for his lover and him to have that relationship in public."  If it was about the Heisman, why did this start in 2009?  Who could've predicted then that he'd be a Heisman winner.  If it was the gay thing, why did they kill her off?  Maybe it's a combination of the two....he is gay, there's this fake online profile they've been using to converse, and then they realize that if his girlfriend were to "die" that his national profile would be raised to a level that might help him win the Heisman.  I don't know.  But I can't wait to find out.


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