Saturday, May 1, 2010

Ah Costco....

Before I get into the blog, I need to recap my dream before I forget it.  I don't remember many of the details, but it involved going back in time to 1907 with my grandparents, some sort of bloody sumo battle in which a friend of mine was killed and I avenged his death, traveling to Dallas, Texas to find the first Red Robin restaurant (which, according to wikipedia, originated in Seattle), and also a tsunami.  It was quite lengthy and involved.  I actually woke up more tired than I was when I went to bed.

Yesterday was my last day in gift accounting at the Foundation.  I kind of got a little nostalgic and wondered if I really wanted to make the move.  Then 85% of the people in the department took the day off and I remembered the size of my paycheck, and I felt better.  You'd think that in almost five years I'd have accumulated enough stuff that it would take more than two trips with what I can carry in my hands, but you'd be wrong.  What took longer was cleaning out my new desk.  The lady before me was a bit of a hoarder, and I my new cubicle looked like a supply closet.  It was pretty cluttered, but if the temperature ever dropped like in The Day After Tomorrow, I'd definitely have enough fuel to keep a fire going until my dad could rescue me.

Last night, we went to Costco to pick up a few things, as well as get a take n' bake pizza for dinner.  We usually have to come up with some sort of "reward" for Jonah to get him to go to the store.  If we're going to the supermarket, we can bribe him with taking the cans back (he loves doing that for some reason) or getting to ride in the the kiddy cars that are hooked to the front of some of the shopping carts.  At Costco, we use free samples.  I think every parent will tell you that keeping your kids happy at the store is a priority, because nobody wants to witness an temper tantrum by their child in a public place.  Well last night it was extra busy at Costco.  Jonah decided he wanted to rub his butt against all the doors in the refrigerated section.  During a non busy time we'd probably have let him rub his butt until he got a hole in his jeans, but he was hindering people from getting their milk.  So Rachel grabs him and says "time to sit in the cart" which set off an epic meltdown.  He screamed at the top of his lungs, started kicking his feet and then slapped Rachel.  Rachel says "that's it, you're in timeout" and makes him sit down on the side of the aisle.  To Jonah's credit, once you put him in timeout, he doesn't move.  He just gives you a look of "how could you do this to me?" as the tears roll down his cheeks.  So we let him sit there for a few minutes, I explain to him that there is never a reason to hit Mommy, Rachel tells him that it's too busy and he needs to sit in the cart and be a good boy or there will be no Transformers watching when we get home.  Jonah apologized and got into the cart.  The situation has been defused and I think that's the end of it. Probably would've been the end of it, if Jonah hadn't asked for another free sample of tilapia a few minutes later.

I'm not saying that every free sample lady is crazy, but it seems like many of them are lonely people who relish the chance to talk to someone, even if it is about panko breaded tilapia or apple cider from Ryan's Orchard.  The tilapia lady recognized me from the meltdown and immediately says "you guys are AMAZING parents," which I know she meant as a compliment, but what I heard her say was "I totally saw your kid erupt like Mt. St. Helen's."  It's always strange to hear someone who knows absolutely nothing about you or your child give you their opinion on your parenting strategy, even if it is complimentary.  I shrugged and kinda said thank you as I looked at my feet, but she kept going.

"I mean it!  You guys got him calmed down so quickly!  Do you watch Supernanny?"

I had to say yes, which really annoyed me because putting a kid in a timeout seems like a pretty logical way to deal with a temper tantrum, but now all the credit goes to a tv personality dealing with the most god awful children in the country.  I don't think Rachel and I are anything like Supernanny, and Jonah is definitely nothing like the little monsters on that show. 

And that is why, as a parent, taking your kids out in public is so frustrating.  You're rolling the dice every time.  Our kids are great 95% of the time.  If that 5% of the time they are difficult happens at a store, or at the park, or anywhere else public, that's the only time these people see your child, and they immediately think "this is how this kid must act all the time, how awful!"  You want to explain to everyone that "he's usually a really well behaved kid, I promise!" but that'd be like a Costco free sample lady telling me "I swear I don't live with 87 cats!"  I'll never see her house, so I'm free to continue to draw my own judgements about what goes on the other 23 hours of the day in her life.

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Next week will be a serious challenge to my weight loss plan.  I'm being taken out to lunch three times by three different groups of coworkers next week.  McGrath's on Monday, Ruby Tuesday on Tuesday, and Block 15 on Thursday.  That's at least three days next week I won't be running on my lunch break.  Running this week didn't go too well either.  I ran Monday, but didn't go again until Thursday, and I had to cut that short (I think I made it about 2 miles) with a very bothersome ankle.  I'm going to try to use the elliptical a lot next week, but it's hard when I'm home alone with Jonah because he always wants me to hold him while I elliptical, which turns a nice workout into a Bataan Death March.

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