g's or cheese?

A debate broke out in the break room at work today. In Jay-Z's immortal hip hop anthem "Big Pimpin," is he spending g's or cheese? I stuck with cheese, while nearly everyone else was certain it was g's. I'll admit that g's is the more logical decision. The sensible decision. I submit that rap/hip hop lyrics are rarely sensible, and decidedly illogical. So we took the decision to the highest court in the land.


Google.

It appears that the great cyberspace is not all knowing. There are conflicting reports from numerous websites. Many websites had the lyrics as "spending g's" These websites quite often pointed out that "spending cheese" is a common misinterpretation. However, an almost equal number of websites came to the conclusion that cheese was the correct lyric. There were even a few websites that argued that Mr. Z uses both g's and cheese at various times during the song.

So which side you fall on? Do you spend your g's or your cheese? I need to know!

tick tick tick tick

We're now one week from Rachel's due date. So why does it seem like this baby is supposed to be here right now? Having a baby sucks. You find out your wife is pregnant then you realize you've got probably 30-34 weeks to go. It seems like the day's never going to come. Then one day you wake up and you're two weeks out. Every day after the two week mark seems like a lifetime. It really blows. I spend whole minutes of time at work staring at my cell phone. Everytime my phone rings, even if it's not Rachel's ring tone (Salt n' Pepa's "Push It"), I get all excited thinking "this could be it!" Of course to this point it hasn't been. I hate calling anyone, because before people even say hello, they ask "is this it?" It's a weird feeling knowing you're going to disappoint the person on the other end of the line every time you pick up your phone.


The best part of this? Still not knowing the sex of the baby. Is it a boy? Is it a girl? Will I be ok with either? If it's a girl, am I going to have any clue how to raise her? It's extremely exciting.

The worst part? Still not knowing the sex of the baby. It's pretty nerve wracking. Will I be buying bats and balls or tea sets and dolls? Actually, boy or girl, the kid's going to be getting bats and balls, who am I kidding? This is tough.

It's so hard to focus on work right now. Yesterday in fact, I was completely unmotivated, and also a little bitter that my coworker wasn't pulling her weight in my opinion. So I tried a little experiment. I worked at about 75% speed all day...didn't really push anything, took a little extra time doing everything, and as a result, not much got done. Yet around 3:30 I took something into my bosses office and she said "well you've been a busy little beaver today!"

This is what I'm dealing with.

Albany

This is from the Albany newspaper. Man I love this town.


Mysterious objects puzzle couple

By Ellen Ast

Albany Democrat-Herald

LACOMB - Raye Laufer has a vivid recollection of what she and her husband Derral saw in the sky above their Lacomb home last month and wants to know if others saw the same thing.

On Saturday, Sept. 22, the Laufers stepped outside to smoke cigarettes in the forested back yard of their Moran Lane home, nestled in a quiet valley among hills about five miles outside from Lacomb. It was shortly after 9 p.m., a clear night.

The couple fixed their attention on two long, silver, bullet-shaped objects flying side-by-side across the sky. Neither object had lights or made a sound, Raye said, and they soon split up: One headed east, the other toward the northeast.

As Raye scanned the horizon to see where they went, she turned and saw what Derral had just spotted floating above treetops almost directly above their home.

"There was this orb," Raye exclaimed. A large object, glowing red and orange, silent, emitting what she says looked like sparks.

"It was beautiful," she remembers. Derral and Raye watched the object float in the same spot for about a minute, move over until it was directly over their roof, pause, then slowly journey north.

The incident continued to bother her — and pique her imagination.

During the next two weeks, Raye, 50, set out to find others who may have seen the strange objects. She asked county and state law enforcement agencies if anyone called dispatch around the same time as the sighting.

No calls.

She posted a sign on a Lacomb bulletin board outside the town store, asking anyone who witnessed something to call her.

Still no calls.

"I know someone has to have seen it," she said.

She headed to the Internet for research. After she filed a report with the National UFO Reporting Center, a representative from that organization encouraged Raye to contact media.

"I used to joke about aliens," she said. "But there is something out there."

Can it get any worse?

Seeing how Rachel is about 14 months pregnant, I figured that I should probably help with some of the housework last night. Every time I ask Rachel if I can help, she kind of says "umm........sure" with the uncertainty in her voice so obvious it almost hurts my feelings.


It shouldn't hurt my feelings however, because I always screw something up. Always. I wrote about the crock pot incident a few months ago. Last night I trumped that one. How you ask?

I ran over my own foot with the vaccuum cleaner. Wasn't paying attention and just clobbered my own foot with the Hoover. Drew blood in fact. It was pretty awesome.

How am I going to be a father? How am I going to teach my kid anything when I hurt myself doing everything? I'm terrified to even hold my child because I might drop it. Of my current fears, the biggest is injuring my child via my own clumsiness. Yikes. If the vaccuum cleaner runs over the baby, it probably won't just be the foot that's bleeding.

I'm going to leave you with a joke:

Q: What do Andy Lasselle and Britney Spears have in common?

A: They're both allowed to see their kids only under supervision.

I feel ya Brit.

Feeling down

So work is dragging today. Although I was introduced to the food at Senor Sam's today. Great food actually! Before this, I had only been there after the restuarant had closed and the Cantina was crowded and I needed a place to sit. Who knew they served fantastic food? I particularly like the guy who works there who sounds like he's been sucking up helium for 15 minutes. What an odd voice.


We're under 3 weeks until Rachel's due date. I have to admit, I was kind of hoping today would be the day, so we could keep in line with the whole July 7, August 8, September 9 theme that we have going on in our relationship. I guess there's still a chance that we end up having the baby on November 11th, but nobody wants that. Certainly not Rachel, and certainly not anyone who has to deal with her if she goes past her due date.....she's going to be one unhappy possum at that point.

I suppose there's still 8 hours left in the day, so there's a chance for the baby to be born today, but I haven't heard many stories of 8 hour labors for first time mothers. Far more 18 hour stories. Guess this probably eliminates Joel from the baby predictor pool. He picked 10-10 as the due date.

Perhaps it's a good thing our child isn't born today. The 1 song in the country this week is some song by some kid named Soulja Boy Tell'em. What the hell does that even mean? I'd never heard this song before, but I had to look it up. It sucks. How is this the top song in the country? Seriously. What the hell is wrong with kids these days?

I think by typing that last sentence, I officially earned my 'ready to be a father' card.

Yesterday I had this deal with feeling shorter than normal all day. It was very strange. I felt like I was more compact.......like a brick all day. It was a strange feeling that I've never felt before. I guess I just had a short day. Some people have bad hair days, some people have clumsy days. I had a short day. Are there any other types of days out there that I don't know about? And when is lucky day? Or stumble across some money day? Or save a life day? Those would be fun.

September Showers bring October babies?

I don't know who came up with the idea of showers, but my guess is it was someone who was getting married or having a baby. You know this wasn't the idea of a friend of an engaged or pregnant woman. Good freaking lord. I'm starting to feel guilty. Between buying a new house, getting married and having a baby, people have bought us roughly enough stuff to take care of the people of Bangladesh...provided those people enjoyed wearing onesies that said "I love my Mummy." Baby's due around Halloween....get it? Anyways.....


We received so much Classic Pooh baby gear that I believe we've decided to call the nursery the Hundred Acre Wood and change the baby's name from Jonah Courtney to Christopher Robin Lasselle. Rachel is of course Rabbit because she's the worrying kind, and I will continue to be Tigger....the loveable oaf who does nothing all day and has fun doing it. Oh, and if you ask me a question, chances are I won't know the answer but I'll make something up and convince you it's true. Might figure out some way to get you into trouble. Tigger really is an asshole, isn't he? If the show was for older people, I can guarantee that Tigger would be the one that would run up the gambling debts and have to steal Rabbit's carrots to pay off his bookie.

At this time I should point out that I have no gambling debts and I have no plans to steal any of Rachel's carrots.

Thanks again to all who have supported us with home, wedding, or baby gifts over the past 15 months. Be it a shovel, margarita set, pillows, Pepsi vending machine, car seat cushion, stroller, OSU bib n' bootie set, or stuffed animal, we've loved them all and truly look forward to returning the favor when we can!

By the way, if anyone reading this wants to have a baby anytime soon, that'd be great. My kid's going to need a buddy.