In defense of *gulp* Donald Trump

Before everyone flies off the handle, let me reiterate that he's right near the top of the list of people I despise, and I think he'd make an awful president, and anyone considering voting for him is more likely doing it to prove a point than because they agree with his illogical policy decisions...my favorite being forcing Mexico to build a wall they don't want to build, and if they refuse force them to build a BIGGER WALL.  Good plan, buddy.

Lately however, the "Stop Trump at all costs" movement has kicked into high gear, and all of a sudden pointing out that he's ignorant and offensive isn't enough anymore.  No....now they have to resort to using his words, ridiculous as they are, out of context to make them seem EVEN MORE ignorant and offensive.  

Example #1: This Buzzfeed Video

Yes, Trump is a pretty established misogynist.  But taking quotes from Obama giving speeches at a podium at a women's conference in his position as president of the United States and comparing them to comment Trump made on the Howard Stern Show or The Apprentice is just plain ridiculous.  It's like taking quotes from  Russell Wilson's comments on celibacy to a Christian organization and comparing them to Peyton Manning's comments from SNL.  The audience and intent of the interview is key here.  Just like Trump wouldn't be on Howard Stern if he made safe, polite comments, Obama wouldn't be speaking to a conference of women if he made some sort of obvious joke about kitchens or Michelle always making his sandwiches.

Example #2: The Abortion Comment

I opened up Twitter yesterday to see this:

NEW Trump to @msnbc: "there has to be some form of punishment" for women who have abortions but he has yet to determine what that should be.

— Ali Vitali (@alivitali) March 30, 2016

Again, it's an absurd statement.  But, it becomes much, MUCH, less absurd when you understand that the quote was in response to a conversation that started with "IF the law were changed to make abortion illegal....." 

Think about that.  If you do something that's illegal, you know you're risking some sort of punishment.  Marijuana use is still illegal in like 90% of the country, but people do it anyways.  If they got caught, they'd complain, they'd try to get the law changed, but ultimately, they'd pay the fine or go to jail because IT'S AGAINST THE LAW.  Do I think abortions should be illegal?  No. Much like same-sex marriage, it's not my business and it doesn't affect me.  It's not something I'd ever consider, but that doesn't mean that I think no one should consider it.  Should Trump have skirted the issue and said something along the lines of "it's not currently illegal" and just talked about how he disagrees with the idea of abortion....yes.  But I don't think it's necessarily a completely insane and dangerous thing to suggest that people who break a law should be punished.  

So then, why are the Anti-Trump people resorting to these tactics....taking an awful person out of context to make him sound more awful?  Pretty much because pointing out that he's an awful person hasn't been working.  He's still winning states and racking up delegates.

What these people aren't realizing is that these tactics aren't going to sway anyone in their favor.  Do you really think there's anyone out there that's saying right now "you know, I was leaning towards voting for Trump, but NOW that I know he makes misogynistic comments and thinks abortion should be a crime...I'm voting for Hillary! If anything, they're making him a sympathetic figure to some people who will hear Trump say that the media is twisting his words and taking him out of context and say "you know, maybe he isn't as bad as I think.  I'm already mad at the government, this guy is mad at the government, he's not one of them....'MERICA!!!!!!" These people are wrong, but that doesn't mean they arent' allowed to voice that opinion in the form of their vote.

This whole election is so whacked out, I'm here defending my least favorite candidate.  I'd like to say that we're better than this, America.  But I'm starting to wonder if we really are.

Saying Goodbye

Today we held a memorial service for my grandmother, who passed away recently at the age of 97.  I had the honor of speaking at her service today.  Most of you did not know my grandmother, but a few did, and I wanted to share my memories of her here. Mostly, I just wanted a little part of who she was to be preserved on the Internet forever.  She was a special lady, and I miss her greatly.

One of my favorite memories of my grandmother is also my first memory of her.  It was a trip to The Old Spaghetti Factory in Portland.  I was probably about four years old.  As most young kids do at restaurants, I got fidgety, and my mom took me to look out the windows at the river.  Wanting a better look, I ran to the door and pushed it open.  It was an emergency exit, and triggered the fire alarm when opened. The noise it made was horrible, and every single person in the restaurant stopped eating and looked directly at me.  I burst into tears in embarrassment.  Dorrie was there waiting for me at the table, telling me she didn’t know what all the fuss was about.  “I thought it was just a noisy ceiling fan,” she said, as she gave me a hug.  Even at that young age, I knew there was no way she could have thought that, but that was Dorrie.  She would do whatever was needed for her grandkids, and we all knew that.  She encouraged us to be kind, thoughtful, and generous.  Whenever our grandparents would give us some money as a gift, to celebrate a birthday, anniversary, Christmas, or the purchase of our first house, we all knew we were to come visit them afterwards to explain how we spent the money.  Those conversations were some of the most meaningful we had with her, when we would report back that we had spent the money on an extra car payment, or donated the money to an organization important to us, or used it to provide her great-grandchildren with an enriching experience or opportunity.  She inspired us to want to be better people.  She inspired us to want to be like her. 

Her generosity of time and spirit were not limited to her family. In the past few years, she organized a Flag Day parade on Van Buren Street for the children on the street.  She even got the city to fill in some potholes ahead of time, so the kids on their bikes, and trikes, or in strollers and wagons, would have a smoother ride.  She made a point to get to know all the kids personally as well.

When I started college at Oregon State, she made it a point to get to know my roommates and friends. My grandparents routinely invited all of us over for breakfast on the weekends. None of us ever left hungry, which is pretty remarkable for any gathering of males in their late teens and early twenties.  Even when we said “no thank you” to another stack of pancakes, one would appear anyways. Looking back, I think it may have been less about making sure we were well fed, and more about spending more time talking to us, learning about how our studies were going and what we were interested in.  I remember one time my roommate and I were over during football season.  It was the year 2000, and Oregon State was undefeated and had a big game coming up against U-Dub.  We were talking about how we were thinking about driving up for the game.  Dorrie got right up from the table, made a phone call, comes back and said “I’ve got two tickets for you guys.  Enjoy!” It was then I learned that she still had her mother’s season tickets to the Huskies, which she purchased every year for a friend in Seattle to use.  Her friend was all too happy to give up tickets to the biggest game of the season for her grandkid.  That game ended up being one of the best games I’ve ever seen in person, and I got to see it from incredible seats right on the fifty-yard line. 

Even into her nineties, Dorrie was young at heart, and still as fun as ever.  After my family took a cross-country train trip this past Christmas, she lit up as she told me about her own train travels cross-country seventy years ago.  I swear she remembered more details about her trips than I remembered about mine just a week ago.  My cousins Sally and Wendy were able to borrow a convertible every year on her birthday to give her a ride around.  Wendy would drive her around, while Sally would organize neighbors on the street to come outside and wave, because, as Dorrie would say, “what fun is it to ride in a convertible if there’s nobody to wave at?” Just this past football season, she attended her very first “tailgate,” enjoying some grilled meats with four generations of her family.  When we tried to find a golf cart to help escort her into the stadium, we could only find one guy who said he couldn’t help because he had to get transport the coaches into the game.  Upon hearing this, Dorrie remarked, “I don’t mind if they ride with me.”  A few days before she died, she left a voicemail on my phone telling me that I “didn’t do a  good job cheering on the Beavs” in the Civil War basketball game, and that I needed to “do better next time.”

Dorrie adored visits from her eleven great-grandchildren, and it was very special for me to see my children and their cousins play card games like “Touring” while eating her legendary applesauce popscicles and read The Poky Little Puppy, just as we all did thirty years ago, and probably just like our moms did sixty years ago. 

Dorrie was always just “Dorrie” to us – she never wanted us to call her grandma.  We may have never called her grandma, but she was a grandma in the best sense of the word, and someone that all of us were so fortunate to have in our lives for so long. It’s such a blessing to see her influence in the way my mom and my aunt interact with their grandchildren, and I know that, when the day comes for all of us to become grandparents, we will be well equipped to assume that role thanks to Butch and Dorrie.

Bachelor Season XX, Week 9: I Love You, Two?

I think this whole episode can be summed up in one GIF:

Really, I don't need to write anything else. I'm going to, but I don't need to.

Ben talks up Jamaica as the best place to fall in love, but at this point, you can totally tell that he's just saying it because he has to.  The show is starting to show the weight of its twenty seasons just a bit, and this is one of the biggest ways.  I think the show could spice things up just a little bit by dropping a few of the cliches....lose the "perfect place to fall in love," "love is like (insert activity here)" analogies, and maybe tone back the "girl has been holding something back and hasn't opened up or let her guard down" nonsense.

Caila gets the first date, and it's basically the Little Mermaid experience: a secluded boat ride, no talking at all, with a Jamaican dude along for the ride getting frustrated that nothing is happening.  Tell me you didn't expect that raft guide to turn around and say "kiss de gurl!"

Caila feels awkward because, you know, she's in love with a guy that's dating two other girls.  I swear, it's like these girls never watch the show. Caila finally works up the muster to tell Ben she loves him, and he smiles and kisses her, and acts like this was what has been holding their relationship back. "If I'd only known she loved me!" he gushes.  Give me a break.  Nobody buys this, idiot. They make out while fireworks erupt all around them, and he leads her to the fantasy suite.  Stuff (probably) happens.  Morning comes. She says I love you again.  He pats her on the head. (Not really, but pretty much.)

Up next is Lauren.  He says his biggest problem is that she's too beautiful, and he doesn't feel like he's good enough for her.  The release some turtles into the wild.  They take in a reggae band.  Ben tells Lauren she's too good for him.  She tells him I love you.  He says "I love you, too. I've known I love you for weeks." She cries.  This is groundbreaking stuff for The Bachelor.  Never before has ILY been said before the final rose.  They go to the fantasy suite.  Stuff happens.  How do we know stuff happens?  Because ABC makes a point to show us a close up shot of Lauren's dress crumpled up on the floor next to the bed as they make out over breakfast. Can you imagine being Lauren's parents, or little brothers?  You've probably got friends over watching with you, because your daughter/sister is a bonafide TV star for the past ten weeks, and you get to see her dress in a wad by the side of the bed?  I wouldn't be surprised if everyone got up and started dancing like there was some insane dunk at some inner city playground.

JoJo's up last, and before the date, Ben makes sure to tell us that, if he's not sure he's in love with JoJo by the end of the date, he's got to send her home. Ya think?  They take a helicopter to a waterfall.  JoJo wears a bikini that almost makes me want to say "I love you" to her myself. So, yeah, I'm not surprised when Ben reciprocates her profession of love.  JoJo's brain breaks for a second:

Best. What? Ever. #TheBachelor https://t.co/MBLgZ9zzIM

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) March 1, 2016

They head to the fantasy suite.  Stuff (probably) happens.

At this point we can recap Ben's thought processes here.  We know he didn't think he was in love with Caila leading up to the date, despite saying that he had the "deepest relationship" with her.  We also know that he's been in love with Lauren "for weeks."  Again, his words.  Leaving JoJo out of it, he slept with Caila knowing that he was already in love with Lauren. And that's only if the dates actually happened in the order they aired.  If he actually went on the date with Lauren or JoJo before the date with Caila....that's some cold blooded stuff.

Now let's throw JoJo in.  He knows he's in love with Lauren.  He knows she's in love with him.  He knows he's not in love with Caila.  He apparently thinks he might be in love with JoJo, and he's willing to jeopardize what he has with Lauren for a chance to find love with JoJo?  What kind of gambling is this?  When you've got a sure thing, you need to push away from the table, bro.  It's absolutely mind boggling to me that he'd push his luck with JoJo when it's pretty clear he's been head over heels for Lauren since at least that night in Mexico where he wandered all over town with her while the other girls sat by the pool watching Jubilee self destruct. This guy is an idiot.  I mean, I get that JoJo is beautiful and looks pretty amazing in a bikini, but is it really worth it?

Back to the show, Ben realizes he has to tell Caila.  AS FATE WOULD HAVE IT, Caila comes bounding up behind him like some sort of extra in a Caribbean production of Bambi and surprises him, to tell him she loves him (again) and squeeze a couple extra minutes with him out of this show before the rose ceremony.  He dumps her and says "he's told two women he loved them, but he wasn't quite there with her."  She's upset, and wants to know if he knew this before he took her on a date and let her tell him she loved him and let him do naughty stuff to her in the fantasy suite.  He plays stupid and says he wasn't decided on anything until this week, but that's bullshit because he told Lauren he's known for weeks.  So he's lying to someone....probably himself mostly.  See ya on the Bachelorette in a few months, Caila.

Rose ceremony time, and Lauren and JoJo size each other up.  This is the best rose ceremony I think I've ever seen.  Both women are entirely confident that they've already won this thing.  Ben tells us that he "doesn't want to hurt either woman."  Again, he's lying, because he has every opportunity to tell these girls that he's in love with them both and to bear with him while he makes the decision, but he conveniently leaves that out.  JoJo makes a toast "to love and meeting Ben's family" as she stares down Lauren like she's some sort of speed bump she's about to run over.  Lauren for the first time looks like "maybe Ben isn't telling me everything here."

This is going to end so badly, you guys.  I can't wait!