- Why are all the women there? Half of them didn't say anything (I'm looking at you, 50 Shades, in particular.) Lesley, Robyn, and Selma offered up little tiny comments about Tierra, but other than that this show was about four women: Tierra, Sarah, Des, and AshLee.
- Tierra was clearly the perceived main event going into this dumpster fire of a show, but she really underwhelmed. She didn't freak out and the girls were politely mean, using their super mega bitch looks instead of words to cut her down. Harrison gave her credit for facing the mob, but I had no doubt she'd be there. She loved the spotlight way too much to pass up a chance to wear a dress with a strange hole in it right around her sternum on national television. She did dabble a little in crazy talk, mentioning how she "brings a light into every room" she walks into, but other than that, I think America was pretty disappointed. She did mention that she was Little Miss Nevada as a child, in response to which all of America leaned back in their chairs, lifted their hands towards the sky and said "OF COURSE SHE WAS!!"
- One more Tierra note - It seemed like the girls were angling for an apology from her for her actions, but once Tierra did apologize (saying she apologized for handling the whole situation in a "bad way") the women rolled their eyes and shrugged their shoulders as if to say "whatever, ho-bag, we don't believe you." I made a comment about this to my wife, who responded "that's just what girls do." Good to know that apologies are about as valuable as a Canadian penny to the female gender.
- Sarah got up there to talk about how she's always getting dumped, and the reason must be her missing arm, because she's funny and pretty and smart. OH MY GOD JUST SHUT UP ALREADY. You know who else is always getting dumped? Every person who isn't currently in a relationship. Two handed people get dumped all the time too Sarah. The live audience of course cheers wildly when she listed off her positive qualities, further reinforcing her misguided belief that her missing hand is holding her back (bad pun absolutely intended). Furthermore, when you break up with someone, isn't the reason always "some thing's missing?" I have a hard time believing anyone enters a relationship saying "this is totally not going to work out in the long run." So, unless Sarah has a habit of dating complete sleazeballs (which, if she's as smart as she begged the audience to tell her she is, doesn't seem likely), every guy started dating her with the intention of seeing it through. And you know what? Every single guy knew from the moment they saw her that she only had one arm. So what, six months later, every guy just freaks out and says "I can't do this, your missing limb is just too much for me to take?" No freaking way. Relationships may start based on appearances, but the end based on personalities. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and constantly looking to other people to make you feel good and she'll be fine.
- So then Sarah "hands-off" the hot seat to Des and.....well we didn't learn anything here. Des is cute, Sean smiles every time he thinks about her, her brother certainly didn't help the situation. I get why they had her on, but there wasn't really a need to. Everyone's clearly OK emotionally and has moved on already.\
- Now we get to AshLee, and hoo boy is she pissed. She claims she's not, but she's clearly got an axe to grind. She blindsides Sean with her accusation that he told her that the other two girls (Catherine and Lindsey) mean nothing to him. Sean, of course, denies this. Obviously one of them is lying, but even if AshLee is telling the truth, there's no way she can claim she's not upset or angry anymore. Say she is telling the truth - burning Sean down like that on national television is clearly the act of an angry, spiteful woman who has now transferred all of her abandonment issues from being placed in foster care on to Sean. She had to know that whichever girl Sean ended up with was going to see that, and there's no way Sean wouldn't have to explain himself to her. It was a bitch move pure and simple. And I think I know what happened in that fantasy suite. I'll get to it in a second, but first let me provide a few stories to illustrate my point:
Fast forward a few years and now I'm in college. I'm hanging out with this girl that I'm attracted to but not sure that I'm interested in having a relationship with. I end up getting some very bad advice from a friend who tells me that this girl doesn't want a serious relationship, she's totally looking for a friends with benefits situation. Because that's what I want to hear, I totally believe it, even though no two people in the history of the world have ever only wanted a friends with benefits situation at the same time. We end up going on a few dates and having a few heavy petting sessions, but it becomes clear to me that we don't want the same things out of this relationship. So I try to break it off, but again, hormones get the better of me and I end up saying "so I think we should just stay friends, but I'm totally OK with still hooking up every now and then." THEN I TRIED TO KISS HER.
My point is, GUYS SAY DUMB STUFF AROUND PRETTY WOMEN. It's not intentional. We're not doing it out of malice. Girls make it hard for us to think straight, not that we do a whole lot of thinking in the first place. So I'm betting that Sean (a rumored virgin) is really enjoying his alone time with AshLee, an attractive and super intense woman. She starts saying things, he starts saying things, and before he knows it, he's said something like "let's not talk about the other women, they're not important to me right now" or something along those lines. That's what he SAID. What AshLee heard was "Those other girls have never meant anything to me ever and I'm going to propose to you next week." What Sean probably meant was "keep doing that thing with your tongue and stop talking about other girls."
It's OK Sean, we've all been there before.
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