Well, this blog turned out to be a lot longer than orginally planned. Took me almost two days of writing here and there during lulls in work. Enjoy!
Back at work after a relaxing week in Wisconsin. Wisconsin isn't too bad as far as travel destinations go. It was a little humid, and there were some mosquito issues, but you have those same problems in most tropical destinations as well. "But Andy, there aren't any white sandy beaches in Wisconsin!" What's that you say? Well, are there cheese curds in Hawaii? Did your pig on a spit taste as good as my brat on the grill? What say you now?
Wisconsin and Oregon are actually pretty similar in that neither state has a lot of cache nationally. For instance, people in Oregon think Wisconsin is one giant dairy and that the people all talk funny and eat cheese all day. People in Wisconsin pronounce Oregon "OR-UH-GONE" and don't think they need to know our state captiol because "who the hell cares about Oregon?" (That's actually the first thing my wife told me about Oregon upon us meeting for the first time. She never could remember the capitol growing up because she never thought she'd ever need to know it.)
A great illustration of this point happened when the county sheriff stopped by Rachel's parent's house campaigning for re-election last week. He talked about all the great stuff the K9 program is doing, and then said that he hoped he had our votes. Rachel's dad commented that he had his, but we were ineligible because we lived in Oregon, to which the sheriff replied "Oh OR-UH-GONE eh? We took a vacation out there and it was great! We went to Mt. St. Helens, which was amazing!" Basically the best thing about our state to him was that it was close to a landmark in another state. Kind of like if I had said "I visited Wisconsin once. We went to Chicago, it was awesome!"
Also got to take in a Brewers game, which is always fun. As part of a bachelor/bachelorette party for Rachel's sister and her fiance, we took a chartered bus to Milwaukee for the game against the Pirates last Saturday. There's a special parking lot for the bus crowd, and if they do one thing well in Wisconsin, it's tailgate. Out in Oregon, we tailgate for college football and that's about it. In Wisconsin, you tailgate your niece's dance recital. The only difference between football tailgating and baseball tailgating that I could see is less clothing due to the weather. This gave me a chance to declare the parking lot at Miller Park the "Rib Cage Tattoo Capitol of the World." I saw no less than four people with tattoos a few inches below their armpit. One guy had a Chinese character. One guy had the quote "It's a great day for hockey" written on his side. A girl rocking the stylish "shirt cut all the way down the sides and tied at the bottom with bikini top" look had an entire bible verse going from armpit to hip bone. I really wanted to question her on why she went with the entire verse rather than just getting "Phil. 4:13" or whatever, but I'm not sure how a married, sober 30 year old approaches an intoxicated 22 year old in a non creepy manner. Especially with his wife around. There were all sorts of tattoos. One guy had bat wings on each of his shoulder blades, and what looked to be a devil's tail tattooed on his low back. Another guy had the standard barbed wire bicep. Saw more than a few ankle and calf tats. Tattoos to me are a deeply personal thing, but it's surprising how many people end up with roughly the same tattoo in the same location. There were quite a few chinese characters on the nape of the neck tattoos. One might say "peace" while another might say "warrior," but to the average person these tattoos look exactly the same, so what's the point? And don't say you did it for yourself if it's on your back.....you can't even see it. How is that significant to you? I would venture to guess that people with tattoos on their back can go for weeks at a time without even remembering they have a tattoo. I guess that's why I never did it. I had an idea for a tattoo that I thought was pretty good (getting my name tattooed on the sole of my foot, like the toys in Toy Story), but never went through with it, mostly because after a few months, I'd forget it was there and really wouldn't want to explain to people 30 years from now what it was about when the movies had faded from public consciousness.
Rachel also took this opportunity to relive her younger days and have a few beers. Being married to a teetotaler and becoming a mother have severely hindered Rachel's drinking opportunities. I love my wife, and think she's extremely funny, but Tipsy Rachel is one of the most entertaining people I've ever met. She made sure to tell everyone that she was on her fifth beer, while wearing Jonah's "little buddy" sunglasses because she left hers at home. These things barely fit on her head, so that she looked like some sort of Star Wars character, only with bear paw prints on the rims of the glasses. I immediately thought Rachel should get a couple of tiny bear paws tattooed next to her eyes, which Tipsy Rachel said would be "awesome." Tipsy Rachel also started taking pictures of everyone tailgating for the "wedding slideshow" she was putting together for her sister. I heard the term "wedding slide show" at least fifty times. Tipsy Rachel also coined the phrase "What stays in Wisconsin, happens in Wisconsin," which got more than a few strange looks from people. Some people need video cameras to record their children's cute moments, I need one for my tipsy wife's cute moments.
Well, this blog turned out to be a lot longer than orginally planned. Took me almost two days of writing here and there during lulls in work. Enjoy!
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