Bachelorette Season 12, Episode 9 - FATALITY

This might be continued tomorrow, because the first half hour of my DVR recording was Bernie Sanders speaking.  This being an important election and all,  I probably should've listened to what he had to say, but because this is 'MERICA, I decided I would rather watch JoJo in her ridiculously tight and shiny blue dress spew a bunch of nonsense.

We pick up where we left off, with JoJo wandering around an airplane hangar in the middle of the night talking to herself and God. If that doesn't scream "terrorist" I don't know what does. Luke has just professed his love for her, and she can't decide if she should send him home or not. In the end, she decides that, yes, she should send Luke home. Luke genuinely looks flummoxed.  I'd guess the exact line in is head was "CHASE? REALLY?"

JoJo then walks Luke out, and decides to tell him that she's never felt as connected to anyone before, and their relationship was growing.  However, as the weeks wore on, she didn't know where he stood.  JoJo is now the worst Bachelorette in history. She just told this dude that she was more into him and had a better relationship - that was getting BETTER - than with any of the other guys, but she had to send him home because he never said I love you? This is the same dude that just a few days ago invited his entire town to meet you, took you on a horseback ride at sunset into the meadow to show you a heart made out of flower petals to tell you that his heart belonged to you? No wonder Luke looks like someone just told him he was adopted.  Luke's question of "you don't want me anymore?" was pretty poignant, as JoJo says "that's not it!" which is going to make whomever she picks feel just AWESOME inside when they see this.

Because this is The Bachelor, we have to jet off to Thailand to finish this mess. I get that there is something very cool about seeing other countries and cultures and how people of the same species can live entirely different lives than we do here, I wouldn't exactly say that Thailand seems all that "romantic." So far it's been lots of concrete, crowded street markets and rain.  If that's what they were going for, they could've headed to Portland and chilled under the Burnside Bridge. SO ROMANTIC.  The only difference would be that instead of tiny Asian woman rubbing your feet, it would be a 22 year old unemployed vegan named Meadow giving them henna tattoos and offering them some herbal supplements to cure cancer and improve their sex life. Robby is so boring unless JoJo is accusing him of lying about his ex. I'd almost rather watch that Kevin Spacey movie where he's a cat than more Robby.

Speaking of accusing Robby of lying, she reminds us of Ben saying he loved her and how she never thought she'd end up heartbroken.  Clearly this is Robby's fault.  Incredibly, JoJo goes right into the whole "how do I know you love me?" line of questioning.  Robby responds by letting JoJo know that his dad is an incredible pickpocket....somehow slipping a note into his son's jeans WHILE HE WAS WEARING THEM without him noticing.  Robby then gives the note to JoJo to keep. I'm trying to remember the last handwritten note I got from my father to tell me how much he cares for me and how much he supports me.  It's never happened, not because my dad isn't awesome or caring or there for me.....my dad all of those things and more.  It's because DAD'S DON'T WRITE HANDWRITTEN NOTES TO THEIR GROWN SONS. This is basically the equivalent of a Honus Wagner baseball card, and Robby just forks it over to the girl  who is still dating two other guys. JoJo gives him a key to her suite, they hump, Robby tells her he loves her a billion times, JoJo refuses to say it because she  enjoys the double standard, and then says she's going to go change. So romantic. 

She then changes by.....taking off her robe? I'm almost positive that what she's wearing as she leaves is exactly what she had on underneath.  Maybe she threw on that plain white tank top, but whatever....it doesn't matter, because herer comes Jordan in a...plain white t-shirt.  JoJo has changed into a half- tank top thing and tiny shorts.....like a Lara Croft cosplayer basically. She says "I look sporty because we're doing something active! By active, she means hiking through a cave to a temple.  JoJo, ever the world scholar, says "temples are sacred here," as opposed to all those temples in other parts of the world that were just kind of shoddily put together with no real plan or care.  They can't kiss at this temple, so they rub their cheeks against each other as JoJo wonders if Jordan has been lying to her the entire time he's known her.

Dinner time, and JoJo breaks out her elegant skin tight white cropped tank top, because she's classy like that. Somewhere Sporty Spice is pissed that JoJo stole all her tops from the Spice World tour. Jordan says that he loves her, and JoJo goes "THAT'S WHAT BEN SAID!" at which point Jordan looks like he wants to punch her. I don't blame him. She says "how do I know that you mean what you say and I won't end up heartbroken." This is the point where I'd say to JoJo "how do I know you won't leave me heartbroken?  How do I know that, hmmmm?" But since that isn't how this show works, instead he reinterates that he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and apparently this time she knows it's for real (because he said it again, duh), and we're off to the fantasy suite for a little rub n' tug Thailand-style.

The next morning, JoJo lets us know that she's in love with both Robby AND Jordan, but she's better than Ben because she's not going to tell them. Brilliant.

Date #3 is with Chase, and JoJo is all ready to find out if she can make it three-for-three on the "guys I'm love meter." JoJo says "he's able to make me feel special even though we're sweating all over each other...we're still having a blast." I'm not one to kiss and tell, but some of the best times I've had with members of the opposite sex were when we were sweating all over each other. 

It's getting late, I apologize.  Anyways, we come back from commercial to see Chase sitting on the beach by himself. NOT A GOOD SIGN. Chase then goes into how in love with JoJo he is and he can't wait to tell her he's ready to marry her. EVEN WORSE SIGN! Then we hear a knock on JoJo's door, and it's Robby! THE WORST SIGN! Chase is so boned. ABC wouldn't arrange it so Chase walks in on her talking to Robby, will they? Unfortunately for us (fortunately for Chase), we don't get to see that disaster.

Speaking of disasters, this dinner isn't going great for Chase. He talks about how hard this process has been and how this has been more difficult for him than it has been for Robby or Jordan. He follows this up with a speech about how he wants to be the man who can keep her safe....then immediately ruins it by saying "and I wanna smear that lipstick." Somewhat surprisingly, JoJo offers him the fantasy suite.  I really thought she was going to shut him down at dinner. Nobody really expects him to advance, do they?

Chase then tells JoJo that he's no longer falling in love with her, but he's ready to tell her that he's in love with her and that it's "so hard to say that, but he's ready to carry that burden." JoJo gets the validation she needed to know that all the dudes love her, so now she's done stringing him along.  Four minutes ago, she was kissy kissy at the dinner table, and now she's like "easy tiger, I don't know what you expected to happen in the fantasy suite, but even though I invited you to say in my super expensive hotel room with one bed with an exotic location, you aren't just going to be walk in here and tell me how you're ready to be the man who will make me feel loved and safe for the rest of my life and just hop into that bed with me.  I'm a LADY." She then excuses herself from the room to go walk around the airplane hangar garden and think about how she's going to dump him.

She ends up going with "when you said 'that' to me (as if "I love you" is some sort of racist curse word that should not be uttered again) I don't think I'm in the same place as you." Chase is pissed off.  "I just jumped over a hurdle I'd never jumped over, and now I'm skewered." This is just awesome use of the word skewered. Chase is winning this breakup bigtime.  He follows up this line with "so now 'I love you' equals 'get the f*ck out?' You made me 100% regret saying that to you." Get her Chase! JoJo then says "I'm trying not to blindside you and be honest" and Chase lowers the boom with "you kinda just did that."

Chase for the win! JoJo's tears are flowing as she goes with the "I wanted to love you" and "you were everything I wanted and could have asked for and you did nothing wrong" which I'm sure sounds to Chase like "no matter what I tried, you are unloveable.  You finished a distant third for my heart, and truth be told, I'd have kept Luke if the producers would've let me."

You'll never be able to convince me this isn't true, by the way. Luke got hosed, and I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up as the next Bachelor as an apology.  Get ready for more guns n' horses, y'all!

My DVR cut off there, but I don't think I need to see the end of the episode at this point. An episodes that ends with the first on-screen murdering of The Bachelorette is good enough for me!

Bachelorette Season 12: Episode 8 - H to the O to the M to the E

Hometown time!  Welcome to the episode where we all pretend that everyone loves spending every free moment of every weekend with their families, and that everyone LOVES their in-laws.  We got a brief glimpse of this fantasy last week when the guys all told JoJo she was going to love their family, and Alex even threw in that he was looking forward to having a beer and watching football with JoJo's brothers.....because ever girl wants a husband who is going to drink beer and watch football with her brothers. Small wonder he went home...and you saw how those guys acted last season.  Who would want to hang out and watch a game with those judgy bastards? 

On to our first hometown...Highlands Ranch, Colorado, home of Chase....the guy who is definitely going home tonight unless something (dare I say?) dramatic happens. 

Chase starts out that he's nervous because his parents got divorced....when he was eight! Two decades ago, his parents got divorced, and we're supposed to believe this has any bearing on JoJo's decision? I remember the first time I talked to Rachel about this...she asked about my parents, and I said "they got divorced when I was ten." She said "alright," and I knew this was the girl I was going to marry because she was cool with it.  Give me a mother-f'ing break, ABC. We get some more Chase backstory...there were lawsuits.  I took this to mean one parent had a lot of money and the other had less, and the parent with more either tried to keep all their money, or the parent with less tried to take all the money. Chase then tells us that he's going to have her meet his dad separately, to which JoJo says "oh so when you do family stuff, you do it separately?" Isn't this the default scenario for divorced families?

JoJo's excited to meet Chase's dad, but I'm distracted by the staircase.  What is going on with that thing? It seems like it's unfinished and frankly dangerous. Not a good place to raise children, JoJo! Chase's dad then takes most of the blame for his divorce, saying he climbed the corporate ladder (so he's the one with the money) and that he's been better in his second marriage, which apparently includes quite a few step-children. Chase isn't interested in having JoJo meet her or his step-siblings.  Maybe Chase really is still trying to come to grips with his parents not being together.  I mean, I know I had trouble adjusting when my mom remarried and all of a sudden there were two more kids in the house.  I wasn't the greatest brother to them...but then again I was 14.  Grow the hell up, Chase.

Chase's relationship with his mom is way better than with his dad. He seems way more relaxed and at ease with them. Mama Chase says kids who went through a divorce can be hesitant to get married and again I'm a little surprised.  Also, why do they have an old abandoned chairlift chair in their backyard?  Is this a common thing in Colorado?

Chase has a conversation with his sister, and I'm starting to get the impression that this divorce was actually a doozy. His sister says something about how hurt they've been by people who were supposed to love them unconditionally, and holy crap what did Papa chase do? WHAT DID YOU DO, STEVE?

Anyways, the date's over, and Chase whispers "I'm falling in love with you, JoJo."

Key takeaway: Chase's dad cautioned him not to make the same mistakes he made, and that his actions can have effects on the lives of others.  Basically what I heard out of that is "I've had to answer a ton of questions about you doing this stupid reality show, please don't marry this girl so I have to answer even more questions during Dancing with the Stars." I know I said that people don't aren't that concerned about the marital status of their significant other's parents, but holy crap this seems like a much bigger issue in this family than it should be.  JoJo was probably going to send him home anyways, but this just seems like the clincher to me.  Stop the fight, end the episode, we have our loser.

Up next is the "let's talk about the guy we don't like talking about" Rodgers family. My theory is that they couldn't get the show to work with Aaron's schedule, so they had to invent this huge conflict to factor him in the show to keep the state of Wisconsin watching the show. Jordan takes her to his high school, which ironically is nicknamed the Vikings, and even has the Minnesota Vikings logo! Oh, the irony. Also weird is that Jordan took JoJo to meet his teachers from high school. This was NEVER a thought of mine. I love that the school still has pictures of the Rodgers brothers displayed all over the place.  JoJo points out a picture of Aaron, and Jordan is like "alright let's move on." According to JoJo, it's only been in the past couple years that Aaron has been estranged from the family.  This leads credence to the "Olivia Munn is a family destroyer" theory.  A coworker, who is much more perceptive than me, brought up the question that if they have problems with Olivia's lifestyle and the drama in her life, they probably aren't thrilled with Jordan dating a girl who has essentially broadcast her love life to the world for the last two years. If that's not the case, then maybe Olivia Munn is a huge bitch, but did you ever watch "The Newsroom?" She seems awesome!

Jordan apparently used to bluff that he was going to run away all the time as a kid. In other words, he was practicing being dramatic for a reality show from a very early age. This whole Aaron thing is getting a little weird, frankly. The show is going out of its way to explain that they all want Aaron to be a part of the family, but he's choosing not to. Luke goes to bat for Jordan, saying "he's had nothing given to him." Except, you know, that scholarship to Vanderbilt.

I love that JoJo tells Papa Rodgers that the other guys think Jordan's where he is because of Aaron.  Who says that? Why would you say that? JoJo then goes on to say "Jordan is nobody's brother." I get what she's saying, but my goodness, the amount of time they spent bringing up Aaron on these last two episodes, it's pretty apparent that he is the brother of Aaron Rodgers. Jordan says he loves her, JoJo says "that sounds great, but what if it changes?" Who says that? What the hell is Jordan supposed to say? If I was Jordan, I'd be pissed. He seems pissed. 

Key takeaway: Call your mom, Aaron.

Robby's up next. He has JoJo whistle for a horse.  "Awww, the horse is so pretty!" JoJo gushes.  Oh my bad, that was Robby. I guess now that James Taylor is gone, Robby is going for the gay best friend angle. He even has a bit of a George Michael thing going on with the stubble and the pink unbuttoned shirt.  Oh my bad, the bottom button is buttoned.  Is this a thing?  I know nothing about fashion, but let's call that a metaphor for Robby not being able to fully commit to anything.

JoJo continues her tour of doubting the guys, not taking Robby at his word that he's over his ex-girlfriend. Robby says he wouldn't tell her he loved her if he didn't mean it. JoJo says that him telling her he loved her made her feel so much closer to him. Ok then. Robby says "her meeting my family will be a dream come true." and we're sent to commercial with him saying "I don't see how anything could go wrong." ABC, just fucking stop it. You've already got us, you don't need to do this crappy foreshadowing any more.  I'd bet money that when the guys do their intro videos at the beginning of the season, the producers say "OK that's great.  Now just say "I don't see how anything can go wrong," so we can use it in case anything goes wrong, and we're done!"

Robby and JoJo walk up to the house armed with flowers and a bunch of goody bags. Is this a thing that normal people do? When you meet someone's family for the first time, are you supposed to bring everyone bribes? Don't most parents and families see this as a buy-off? I don't get it. Robby's family seems pretty friendly, which is disappointing. I was hoping for some more drama.

JoJo's now asking Robby's mom about the ex.  Robby's mom does him no favors by saying "there's always a chance you can get hurt." Yikes.  Then Robby's mom pulls him aside, and they put their weird cups that look like colored wine glasses inside pint glasses down long enough for Robby to have gossip time with his mom.  APPARENTLY, Robby's girlfriend's roommate Alex has been crafting an elaborate smear campaign against Robby online and in-person (to whom? Is she hosting town hall forums to talk about her roommates ex boyfriend?) Robby needs to tell JoJo about this, and he tells her what's going on. JoJo asks Robby what benefit the roommate would get out of this, and I just threw my remote at the television.  YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT HER ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.  YOU SAID HER NAME! THERE ARE WOMEN ALL OVER THE COUNTRY HEADING TO TWITTER AND INSTAGRAM TO TRY AND FIND OUT WHO ALEX THE EXES ROOMMATE IS!"

Again, Robby tells JoJo there's no truth to any of it. JoJo again doesn't believe him. Robby again tells her it's over between him and Hope. Robby says Hope slapped him and he hasn't spoken to her since then. JoJo then says that she wants to know what happens if a year from now they're still dealing with this.  What the hell? How is this fair to Robby? "So, if your ex girlfriend is still commanding her friends to defame you online twelve months from now, you realize that I'm going to dump you because you used to date a psycho?" Bad break for Robby. JoJo says again that Robby has been the most open and honest with her, AND YET SHE QUESTIONS HIM MORE THAN ANY OTHER DUDE.

Key takeaway: You're responsible for the actions of everyone you've ever come in contact with.

We still have one more of these disasters to go, and it's time to head to Texas for more horses n' guns and flannel. Luke brings 50 people to meet JoJo.  JoJo wearing cutoff shorts and boots makes Luke's heart smile. Luke's dad and him have a fairly touching and (dare I say?) real conversation that makes me want to call my dad. We get our first dad who tries to say "we're not really cool with you making a decision because a TV show is telling you to do it," but of course he follows it up with "but we trust your decision." Dad then gets choked up talking about how glad they are that he came home from serving our country, and I can't even say anything snarky, because having a son or daughter overseas in a combat situation is about the most terrifying thing I can think of as a parent, and I'd feel the same way.  Luke was my least favorite guy all season, and somehow his family is the best.

The date ends with a horseback ride into the fields to talk about how hot JoJo looked...because that's about all Luke ever seems to say. Luke says his heart gets more involved every time he sees JoJo, which is clunky, but effective. Rather than stopping there though, he continues to ramble, saying 500 words when 15 will do. They then make out by a heart made of flower petals.  JoJo really looks like she wants to tell him she loves him, but doesn't.  I half expected her to jump back out of the car and run back to him and make out with him while saying how much she loves him, but she doesn't.

Key Takeaway: I don't know if he'll win, but Luke is safe tonight. Country life is very intoxicating, and JoJo got a big ol' whiff of it.

Tonight's rose ceremony comes to us from an airport hangar....because....well I have no idea why. JoJo's crying and now she's saying goodbye to Luke?  WTF? Why would they tell us this before the rose ceremony? Unless......

There it is! Luke tells her he loves her, and we're treated to JoJo wandering aimlessly around a jetway talking to nobody in particular and crying about how "everything's changed now!"

So with that, we have to wait until next week when she probably sends Luke home anyways.  I'm a horrible judge of who people are going to pick on this show, but technically, I was right.  Luke is safe tonight.

Bachelorette Season 12, Episode Seven: Where were we?

Between my vacation to America's Dairyland and the 4th of July break, It's been almost three weeks since I watched an episode of this show.  Is Chad still gone?  This show sucks then.  Let's move on.

We start with Luke really having trouble comprehending how both James and Alex are there.  "She had no roses, then Chris brings two roses, and then both of you are still here? I was like "whoa!" Just crazy.  Stay with us Luke.

Harrison lays out the ground rules for the episode:  Three one-on-ones, each without a rose. Then a three on one, where there may or may not be a rose or something.  I kinda spaced out to be honest, because if it's anyone other than James, Alex, or Chase going home at the end of the night, I'd be shocked.

Alex gets the first one-on-one, and they're driving out to the countryside.  The guys are in a pretty cool bus, but they all think it's super lame.  You're super lame if you don't like the hippie Argentinian bus.  As Alex has a tough time on his drive with JoJo, including trying to Pringles duck kiss her. She literally pulls the chips out of her mouth and gives him the equivalent of a fist bump.  With Pringles.  Back on the fun bus, the guys have made up a rap about how short Alex is that includes needing a stool to get into the side car of a motorcycle.  And they didn't want to ride the bus.  Best moment of the entire season right there.  This is a good segue into the worst moment of the season....Alex rapping.  "Yo yo Jo-Jo...ya gots to go to tha liquor sto'." He then follows this up with "you see what I did there?"  What did you do here Alex?  Did you rhyme?  Did you not think that JoJo would pick up on you rhyming her name with go and sto'? Or did you think she didn't notice the liquor part?  I'm so confused.  Alex sucks.  They get to an Argentinian ranch and Alex says "I like those trees that are droopy.  Droopy trees." Such a wordsmith this dude is.

He also wears his gaucho attire, which I think is a bit overdone.  He looks more like Napoleon in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. 

They mount horses poorly.  It's so poor, in fact that there's some really weird editing involving quick cuts to Alex like he's touching JoJo's butt and/or helping her onto the horse even though he's nowhere near her.  This was all very disorienting. Also disorienting is Alex's next sentence. "I'm up here on this horse, next to JoJo, and that's where I am right now."

But then things get so bizarre, I've got tears in my eyes.  Like I was just about to write about how being a gaucho looks pretty easy:  You ride around on a horse holding hands with a beautiful woman while sheep and small dogs run around you like children at the beach or something.  But no...there's more.

Apparently you have to act out the kama sutra with a horse.

They stand around watching a gaucho hypnotize a horse into doing couples hot yoga with him.  JoJo makes it so much worse by talking about how spiritual it was to watch this man stroke this horse and slowly the horse submits to him and what the hell is going on.  Now they're cuddling on a horse, like Alan Grant with the Triceratops in Jurassic Park.

 

 

 

Anyone willing to bet that horse was more doped up than the animatronic Triceratops that ate 70 million year old berries?  Alex concludes this abortion of a date by whispering "I'm your goochoo" in her ear.  Even if he'd got the pronunciation correct, it's still an incredibly lame thing to say.

Dinner comes, and Alex gets less petting than the dog that wanders up out of nowhere. Alex tells JoJo he's falling in love with her, and we get some awkward cuts of JoJo giving him a stone-faced gaze. Undeterred, Alex continues to talk about how much he needs her to know what he's feeling, and then she tells him, she's not nearly as excited as she should be to hear him say those words, and that she needs to send him home....because she owes it to him to not make him go through the whole week after having what he thinks is the "best day of his life." Did he ever actually say that?  The best day of his life was dressing up like a bullfighter/french painter and then having a threesome with  a horse?  She believed him when he said that was his "best day ever?" C'mon girl. 

She then cries because he's mad that she dumped him right after he told her he's in love with her.  If she wanted to dump a guy that would make her feel good about it, she should've dumped James.

Jordan gets the next one-on-one date. Jordan shows up in a t-shirt, khaki shorts and Chuck Taylors, which is what I wore to mow my lawn today.  Way to make a great impression, Rodgers.  Should've discount double checked that outfit.

It's time to stomp some grapes at the winery.  The outfit makes a little more sense now.  As the two of them switch into swimwear to make out in a hot tub, we're treated to Luke and Chase whining about how JoJo only likes Jordan because his brother is really good at football.  As they try to draw parallels between Jordan getting in fights with them and fights he might get in with JoJo in the future, a couple of kittens wrassle in the grass.  That's the perfect analogy for what's happening right now: A couple of pussies trying to act tough. 

Finally, we get to the part where Jordan talks about his brother......Luke. Apparently Jordan and Aaron don't talk apparently.  Jordan makes some comment about how it's because of "how Aaron's chosen to live his life," but then follows it up with "I can't imagine the pressure he deals with," so I don't really know what to think about this.  There are rumors that Aaron has been estranged from his family for years, but then there was all that drama earlier this season about Olivia Munn liking Jordan's ex's post on instagram....so who knows. It doesn't seem to be bothering JoJo at all...she's still sucking face and looking forward to meeting the brother not named Aaron.

Group date time gets thwarted by the weather, so they just hang out in a hotel room.  James kicks off the festivities by shoving as many french fries as he can in his mouth.  He calls this his "A" game.  What follows is even worse.  They play a version of Head's Up! involving pictures of Bachelor celebrities, pictionary, and then truth or dare, which involves Robby running up and down the hall of the hotel in his boxers knocking on doors of rooms probably occupied by Bachelorette staff.

Did JoJo's childhood go so terribly that she never got to do these things growing up?  Who thinks this looks fun?  They then all cuddle on a bed and watch The Brazilian Bachelor as James keeps saying that Robby is checking out other hot women they come in contact with.  James continues to bring it up, JoJo is all too willing to tease Robby about it, and Chase just sits there like he's in his own personal hell right now.

Robby then has to explain how he's over the girl he dumped, Chase gets to tell JoJo he gets "too excited" everytime he sees her, and James explains why he would make an excellent gay best friend for JoJo.  This then leads to an idiotic conversation about who the guys think are front-runners.  Robby then says he hates the whole "frontrunner" topic, but then bitches that he hates it because nobody thinks he is the frontrunner.  He wants to know why people think Luke and Jordan are safe just because they got one-on-ones.  Nobody brings up the obvious reason of JoJo not sending them home like Alex was.

In the end, Robby gets the hometown date rose, and then JoJo kicks Chase and James out of the room. James then mopes about how he didn't see this coming, and then him and Chase have a discussion about how much they opened up to her, as if they just assume Robby didn't. James then begrudgingly admits that Robby gets every first rose and group date rose, which probably means he is a front-runner. Chase laments that he wished he would've known that the group date rose winner got more time with her after the rose ceremony, as if that somehow would've changed his strategy.  "Oh you mean I get more one-on-one time with her if she picks me?  Well then I'm going to try harder to get this rose."  Who half-asses it through a date that determines if the girl you allegedly love is going to meet your family?

Luke gets essentially the same date Alex did minus the horse sex and gaucho clothes. Luke still strikes me as a bit dumb, but the date was right in his wheelhouse where he could talk about things he has knowledge of: horses and guns.  It'd be like putting me on a date where we discuss cable TV bundling packages and bachelor nation.    GAME OVER.

The rest of the episode rolls out about how you'd expect: Chase is planning on using the cocktail party to make his closing arguments, JoJo cancels the cocktail party, she hands out roses to Luke and Jordan (Robby already had one), and then she sends home James.  Nobody  is surprised. As I thought, James makes her feel really good about dumping him. He lets her cry, he tells her he gave her his all, says girls say he deserves a great girl, then thanks her for allowing him to believe that the "best girl in the world could think so highly of him."  They then cry togethernabout how awesome each other are.....and scene.

Join us next week, when we get to hear more vague reference to the middle Rodgers brother, Robby again has to explain that he dumped a girl and doesn't have feelings for her, and Luke goes full "Texas Forever" in his attempt to win her heart.