Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The People vs. DirecTV

When Rachel gave me the go ahead some 20 month ago to make the switch from Comcast to DirecTV, I don't think I'd ever been as excited to give my money to a company. I'd never been a satellite guy. Always kind of scared of it, yet drawn to it. I sort of understood the bug's desire to get as close to the zapper as possible. So we made the switch, and I was convinced, for the time being, that this was the greatest thing we'd ever done. I was getting way more sports programming. I would be able to see Friday Night Lights commercial free! 1080p programming! Who cares if I didn't even know what 1080p programming was at the time, I had it! I lived in this utopian TV universe for over a year. Then the honeymoon stage ended with a thud.


Remember in college when you met someone at a bar or party, and you were so distracted by the fact that they looked really good in a pair of leather pants and looked you in the eye while mouthing the words to Nelly’s “Hot in Herrre” that you completely ignore the fact that they’ve downed 3 pitchers singlehandedly and tells you constantly that they had a “strictly sexual” relationship with their ex? That was me with DirecTV. I was dazzled by the programming that I ignored the fact that their “on demand” content was almost exclusively pay-to-view” and that “on demand” was a complete bastardization of the term. By on demand, they meant you could download it whenever you wanted, but be prepared to wait 3 hours while it downloads before viewing. I also learned that no television stations air shows in 1080p as of yet, but you could download 1080p movies for roughly $6. Just be prepared to order said movie a day in advance, because it will take that long to download. Also, my channel lineup changed without notice. I was willing to shrug this off because I got the Big Ten Network and MLB in HD, while my friends with Comcast were stuck with their lame Comcast SportsNet. Suckers.

The major honeymoon killer came a few weeks ago, when I received a letter telling me that I was being “reassigned” to the Eugene market, and my local channels would be changing from Portland feeds to Eugene feeds. Not a big deal, but the very last line in the letter stood out like the guy who didn’t get the memo that it wasn’t a costume party: DIRECTV DOES NOT CURRENTLY OFFER LOCAL CHANNELS IN HIGH DEFINITION IN THE EUGENE MARKET.

Really? These channels are available over the air in HD, but you can’t offer them through your satellite service? When I inquired about this via email, I was told that they were in negotiations with the Eugene affiliates to provide HD service, but that the affiliates were currently demanding too much money from DirecTV, which they of course didn’t want to have to pass on to my bill. Very noble of them. Although I noticed that this was the same reasoning they had for why they didn’t carry Comcast channels such as Versus. Is everyone out to gouge DirecTV? I had my doubts. Then I found out I could still receive my local channels in HD…..if I purchase some sort of piece of equipment from DirecTV for $50. So they could spread out the cost of this rate increase over everyone in the area and add $1 to my bill a month…..OR CHARGE ME $50 RIGHT NOW? That was the deal breaker for Rachel. She’s ready to head back to Comcast because she’s disenchanted with Qwest’s internet service, for which I can’t really blame her.
Now I’m having an issue with my DirecTV box. I come home from work, the picture is choppy, almost like when you’re watching a video on a computer that doesn’t have enough processing power to display the video smoothly. Thinking it was the signal, I reset the box. Success! Then it happened again the next day. And the next. And – well you get the point. After about six days of this, I looked online in DirecTV’s handy “troubleshooting” forums and found out multiple people are having this problem. So I called DirecTV. The girl was really nice (for once I have nothing bad to say about a company’s customer service rep) but she had me go through the process of resetting my box, even though I told her that alleviated the problem temporarily and I’d just be calling back the next day. So she had me check the cables to see if any of them are loose. While I’m behind the TV checking cables, I all of sudden hear Jonah saying “Hi!” I turn around and Jonah’s chatting on the phone with the customer service rep, who he thinks is his mom. Kind of embarrassing for me, yet funny at the same time. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to call them back tonight.

So now the dilemma is this….if they have to come replace my box, it’s going to cost me at least $50. So do I stick with them, or make the switch back to Comcast and take advantage of a new customer deal? Or do I just threaten to leave, and sort of force DirecTV to give me a free box and the hook up thingy to get local channels in HD? I think if I threaten to leave, I better be fully prepared to actually leave if they call me on it. Anyone else in this situation, or gone through it before that can offer me some advice?

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