Queen of the Princesses

Last weekend I had the pleasure of attending Disney on Ice:  Dare to Dream with my family up in Portland.  One of Jonah's friends had an extra ticket, and invited him along.  Rachel and I didn't really have anything else planned, so we decided to take Jocie along and get tickets ourselves.  Gave us some time to meet Jonah's friends parents, and also allow the kids some extra time to hang out in the back of the car, which they LOVED.  This trip was basically the reason we invested in a seven passenger Dodge Journey.  We were able to get everyone in comfortably.  Jonah and Jaden are pretty much the same person in different bodies.  It's crazy how similar their interests and personalities are.  They even have the same cowlick smushing up their hair in the front.  I think that was probably the quickest trip ever to Portland for Jonah, as they laughed and played with their Transformers in the back the entire car ride. 

After stopping for some food at Pizza Schmizza, we made our way to the Rose Garden.  A quick recap of events I've been to at the Rose Garden - Trailblazers games, a rodeo, a concert featuring Pink and Shaggy (it was a Z100 radio concert) and I think an Eminem concert (it could have been at the Memorial Coliseum, I forget).  The patrons at Disney on Ice are so completely different from anything I've ever experienced there, I was a little thrown off.  But our seats were surprisingly good for the $25/each we paid, aside from the lady seated in the row behind us who felt it would be a good idea to bring a giant stroller into the arena with her and drape the thing over my seat.  It took her a few minutes to move the thing and find a way to awkwardly jam it under the seats in her row.  Kids at arenas are kind of like luggage on a plane....if you need wheels to move them, it's not a carry-on and therefore shouldn't be allowed.  Why would you bring a stroller when you know there's no way to store it without inconveniencing everyone around you?  C'mon now. 

The show started, and it was pretty much like I remembered from when I was a kid.  The shows are basically abridged versions of the movies.  The Dare to Dream show was geared a little more towards young girls, but not to the point where boys couldn't enjoy it.  They did 3 "acts:"  Princess and the Frog, Cinderella, and Tangled.  I don't think I realized that the shows were all lip synced, but I guess it makes sense.  Jocie was a huge fan of the horse "Maximus" from the Tangled show, which was two dudes in a horse costume - on ice skates.  How impressive is that?  Every time that horse came out on the ice, she'd clench her fists and look at Rachel and I with this look that basically said "OMG THERE HE IS AGAIN!"  She'll probably make that same face again at the Rose Garden for a boy band concert in 12 years.  For now, I'm ecstatic that it's a horse on skates that does it for her. 

The real shocker to me, however came at the end of the show.  Once Rapunzel realizes she's the lost princess and reclaims her throne, she of course throws a ball and invites all the other princesses from the Disney world to come.  As each princess came out onto the ice with her "prince," they were given a polite round of applause from the crowd.  Now, I was expecting Rapunzel to get the largest cheer, given that she is the most recent princess and also the headliner of the show.  But one princess violated the rule that you never show up the host of the party.  Cinderella?  Snow White?  Belle?  Nope.  They were all completely clowned by the applause handed out for the Little Mermaid.  I kid you not, Ariel got the loudest cheer of the night, and all she did was skate out and wave.  That was it.  She was on the ice for maybe three minutes total, but you'd think that these girls came specifically to see her.  I actually heard a girl of maybe seven or eight behind me squeal "THERE SHE IS!  ARIELLLLLLLLLLLLL!" as she skated out onto the ice. 

If I were ranking the popularity of princesses based on applause it'd go like this: 

1. Ariel
2. (left blank, because the gap was that large)
3. Jasmine
4. Rapunzel
5. Cinderella
6. Tiana
7. Belle
8. Sleeping Beauty
9. Snow White
10. Mulan (I'll admit, I had to ask Rachel who she was, because I had no clue.  I've never actually seen the movie.  Apparently no one else had either, because Mulan got the courtesy "I have no clue why you're important, but you're on the ice with Ariel, so I'll clap halfheartedly for you" applause)

I had no clue that the Little Mermaid had that kind of cachet.  Yet every female I've talked to since going to the show has said "oh yeah, Ariel is the best!"  I'm not sure that there's an equivalent for guys in the cartoon realm.  Is there a fictional character that all men identify with in this way?  The front runners would probably be Buzz Lightyear, Tigger, or Lightning McQueen.  My vote goes for Tigger.  So why is Ariel so loved?  I've done quite a bit of thinking about this, and came up with a few reasons:

• The movie came out in 1989 - 23 years ago.   This made her popular with a majority of the moms in the crowd, who probably passed on their love of Ariel to their daughters
• The red hair makes her stand out from every other princess, making her easily identifiable.
• The music from her movie is pretty freaking good.  Under the Sea and Kiss the Girl are two of the most recognizable and "sing-alongable" songs from Disney movies ever. 

Really that's it.  The princess genre movies are all by and large the same, so it's not like her story is that distinguishable from the others.  Princess feels trapped, meets a guy who shows her there's a whole world out there, evil person tries to take the kingdom for themselves, love and magic conquer all.  The end. 

Anyone out there have a favorite Disney character?  I'm going with Tigger - he's all about having fun, makes up words, and embraces his uniqueness. 

 

This one time, in a Band Van.....

Yesterday was our annual President's Dinner in Portland.  This is kind of a big deal, so we blow it out.  I was enlisted to help shuttle some of the "talent" up to the event.  I was assigned to bring a couple members of the band up, who were going to be performing at the dinner.  When I say "performing" I mean that they were going to play to alert guests of the call to dinner.  Their entire "set" was no more than 2 minutes long.  One of my coworkers was also driving a van.  Except she wasn't driving musicians.  She was driving fashion models.  I get band members, she gets models.  You can see where I rank in the order of things. 

Anyways, I was anticipating some fairly interesting conversations on this trip, and I wasn't disappointed.  Their conversation started off discussing the band (something about the inability of some members to play "off-beats" and how it was a good thing that Ricky changed instruments because "his teeth weren't shaped correctly" for whatever instrument he was previously on), before moving on to discussing drinking games.  It never ceases to amaze me how many people like to brag about what they drank and the amount of it they consumed.  "We went round for round with shots for AN HOUR."  This is a pretty universal conversation amongst people in their 20s:  "we drank X amount of Y BEFORE/DURING/AFTER Z!"  The irony of that  statement is that it never elicits the reaction the person expects.  Have you ever seen someone respond to that question with any other than a courtesy eyebrow raise or a half smile and a forced grunt?  You've never heard anyone say "OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?  I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU AREN'T STILL DRUNK!!!!!"  You know why?  Because everyone you're discussing this with has done the same exact thing before.  You're not impressing anyone with your drinking story, yet they continue to get told every Monday. 

OK, I got off topic a little there.  Let me get back to the real reason for this blog.  One of the guys mentioned the orchestral piece "Boléro."  Another guy says "did you know that Boléro was #3 song on Spotify's list of "songs to make whoopee" to?  Seriously.  The guy said "make whoopee."  For the full list, click here and scroll down.  Turns out that this list was done by surveying people in the UK, so take that for what it's worth.  They discussed some of the other songs on the list, before one of the guys shushes everyone else by saying "Guys, you know what really should be #1 on that list?"  At this point I'm fully engrossed in this conversation.  I had no clue where this guy was going with this, and my mind was racing to try and figure out what song he was going to go with before he announces his self-proclaimed "best whoopee song."  I was expecting something like Beethoven's Ninth or possibly Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls" - a song played by the band at OSU sporting events for the better part of two decades.  Nope.  Homeboy goes with this:

 

 

That's right....R Freaking Kelly.  Dorky white band kid in glasses goes with R. Kelly.  And not even probably more "whoopee appropriate" R. songs like this or this or even this.  Now, we could probably start getting into semantics:  making whoopee is different from making love which is different from knockin' boots, and so on and so forth.  But this just floored me.  The Ignition Remix was on R. Kelly's "Chocolate Factory" Album, which was released in 2003.  This kid was probably somewhere between the ages of 9 and 13 when that song came out.  Now I get it...lots of songs on that Spotify list are older songs - Songs by Marvin Gaye for example.  But Marvin Gaye is still played on the radio.  He's kind of a legend, and you can make the case that his songs are timeless.  There's plenty of opportunity to hear his music.  Honestly, when is the last time you heard the Ignition Remix?  My mind is still blown by this choice.  I was discussing this in the office today when one of our students came in.  She says "what song are you talking about?" So I pull it up on the youtubes and by the second note, she goes "Oh yeah, Ignition!" and nods like she totally understands why this song would be #1 on someone's "naughty time" playlist. 

 

 

So this opens up a number of questions: What would be #1 on your "whoopee list?"  Would you ever have a whoopee list, or is this something for people far, far younger than a majority of the people reading this blog?  If you have a whoopee list on your iPod, does this make you skeezy?  Like, say you were on a first date and your date asked to see your iPod.  If this happens, there's a 95% chance that whatever is on your iPod is going to determine if you get a second date or not. For the record, I'd go with probably one of these three songs off the top of my head, just for fun (and yes, I'm laughing at my own choices, so feel free to mock me):