This one time, in a Band Van.....

Yesterday was our annual President's Dinner in Portland.  This is kind of a big deal, so we blow it out.  I was enlisted to help shuttle some of the "talent" up to the event.  I was assigned to bring a couple members of the band up, who were going to be performing at the dinner.  When I say "performing" I mean that they were going to play to alert guests of the call to dinner.  Their entire "set" was no more than 2 minutes long.  One of my coworkers was also driving a van.  Except she wasn't driving musicians.  She was driving fashion models.  I get band members, she gets models.  You can see where I rank in the order of things. 

Anyways, I was anticipating some fairly interesting conversations on this trip, and I wasn't disappointed.  Their conversation started off discussing the band (something about the inability of some members to play "off-beats" and how it was a good thing that Ricky changed instruments because "his teeth weren't shaped correctly" for whatever instrument he was previously on), before moving on to discussing drinking games.  It never ceases to amaze me how many people like to brag about what they drank and the amount of it they consumed.  "We went round for round with shots for AN HOUR."  This is a pretty universal conversation amongst people in their 20s:  "we drank X amount of Y BEFORE/DURING/AFTER Z!"  The irony of that  statement is that it never elicits the reaction the person expects.  Have you ever seen someone respond to that question with any other than a courtesy eyebrow raise or a half smile and a forced grunt?  You've never heard anyone say "OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?  I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU AREN'T STILL DRUNK!!!!!"  You know why?  Because everyone you're discussing this with has done the same exact thing before.  You're not impressing anyone with your drinking story, yet they continue to get told every Monday. 

OK, I got off topic a little there.  Let me get back to the real reason for this blog.  One of the guys mentioned the orchestral piece "Boléro."  Another guy says "did you know that Boléro was #3 song on Spotify's list of "songs to make whoopee" to?  Seriously.  The guy said "make whoopee."  For the full list, click here and scroll down.  Turns out that this list was done by surveying people in the UK, so take that for what it's worth.  They discussed some of the other songs on the list, before one of the guys shushes everyone else by saying "Guys, you know what really should be #1 on that list?"  At this point I'm fully engrossed in this conversation.  I had no clue where this guy was going with this, and my mind was racing to try and figure out what song he was going to go with before he announces his self-proclaimed "best whoopee song."  I was expecting something like Beethoven's Ninth or possibly Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls" - a song played by the band at OSU sporting events for the better part of two decades.  Nope.  Homeboy goes with this:

 

 

That's right....R Freaking Kelly.  Dorky white band kid in glasses goes with R. Kelly.  And not even probably more "whoopee appropriate" R. songs like this or this or even this.  Now, we could probably start getting into semantics:  making whoopee is different from making love which is different from knockin' boots, and so on and so forth.  But this just floored me.  The Ignition Remix was on R. Kelly's "Chocolate Factory" Album, which was released in 2003.  This kid was probably somewhere between the ages of 9 and 13 when that song came out.  Now I get it...lots of songs on that Spotify list are older songs - Songs by Marvin Gaye for example.  But Marvin Gaye is still played on the radio.  He's kind of a legend, and you can make the case that his songs are timeless.  There's plenty of opportunity to hear his music.  Honestly, when is the last time you heard the Ignition Remix?  My mind is still blown by this choice.  I was discussing this in the office today when one of our students came in.  She says "what song are you talking about?" So I pull it up on the youtubes and by the second note, she goes "Oh yeah, Ignition!" and nods like she totally understands why this song would be #1 on someone's "naughty time" playlist. 

 

 

So this opens up a number of questions: What would be #1 on your "whoopee list?"  Would you ever have a whoopee list, or is this something for people far, far younger than a majority of the people reading this blog?  If you have a whoopee list on your iPod, does this make you skeezy?  Like, say you were on a first date and your date asked to see your iPod.  If this happens, there's a 95% chance that whatever is on your iPod is going to determine if you get a second date or not. For the record, I'd go with probably one of these three songs off the top of my head, just for fun (and yes, I'm laughing at my own choices, so feel free to mock me):