So I know I didn't blog last week, but you know what? Sort of a lot happened last week and it took me about six different tv watching sessions to get through the episode. Anyways, to recap - Clare decided Dale was the one, the guys were rightfully bitter that they quarantined for however long and then most of them never even really got to date her and the season was over. The only guy that really has any sort of a right to be upset here though is Jason, who actually got a one on one and was pretty honest and open with her and actually had a chance to develop a "relationship."
Anyways, they bring in Tayshia and.....
Actually I'm gonna stop here and bring up the fact that quarantine rules seem pretty lax on this show. A few weeks ago we had Margaret Cho and Deanna Pappas just show up, and now they've got a whole new Bachelorette already COVID screened and quarantined and ready to go? How is that possible? I need to know more about this.
Ok so they bring in Tayshian and it seems like 95% of the guys are like "Clare Who?" within about 30 seconds.
Good for them, but also it speaks to the nonsense of saying things like "I put my life on hold for her! I sacrificed so much for a chance with Clare!" Poppycock! You wanted to be on TV. Personality-wise, I'm not sure you could have two more different people than Clare and Tayshia, but we'll see how this goes.
Chris lets a few of the guys peacock for her...and I must say that I had no idea a few of these guys (was there an Ivan?) were still on the show. Then he blows the thing up by saying he's bringing some new guys on the show in a limo!
Turtleneck Bro says "we got a whole ass limo out there!" I've never thought about half ass limos before, but that could be interesting. Spencer is the first guy out of the limo, and he seems like a ok guy...cracks a joke about who let Clare get away or something. The old guys are not finding the humor in more guys showing up. Also.....they had a whole stable of dudes ready to go? How long was the break between Clare leaving and Tayshia showing up? They made it seem like it was a day or two....but did these guys get two weeks with nothing to do at this resort waiting for Tayshia and these dudes to quarantine?
Also, remember back in 2019 when you heard someone had to quarantine and you thought they were radioactive or were in a plastic bubble or super secure facility?
Ivan (there is an Ivan!) says "this is the most excited I've been since I've been here" so.....not really there for Clare were you bud?
Zac C. seems like he has no sense of humor. He reminds me of a guy that you'd crack an innocent joke about and he'd just stare at you and say "what are you trying to say? Why would you say that?" and make everything awkward.
Tayshia has a rough moment when talking to Boy Band Kenny. He says that he's "books bands" and she says "oh so you're into the whole band and music thing?" That'd be like if she was talking to Tiger Woods who said he was playing in the Masters next week and she says "oh, so you're into golf?"
This show seems way too normal with Tayshia. Emotions aren't over the top, nobody is freaking out, it's like real life for now. I'm gonna need some drama before too long to keep my interest level up.
Then we get the upcoming scenes and we get this image:
Say no more! I'm all in.
And then we go back into Clare and Dale.
They're so insane. Clare's crying about how much anxiety she had "pacing around the pool." She just wants a guy to walk around the pool...not just when she's in a ball gown, but when she's in yoga pants too! Ummm...she knows guys like yoga pants right? I just did an image search for yoga pants, and I decided against posting a gif because it felt....not appropriate. I mean, if you took a poll of 100 guys and asked them if they preferred a girl in a Disney Princess ball gown or a pair of yoga pants, the vote is at least 50/50 right? Just another example of Clare living in a fantasy world. She's talking about Dale being "vulnerable" on Instagram, and how she wants to have babies, and who knows what else. I'm not saying this is going to blow up spectacularly....but it could blow up spectacularly.
Group date time! We get like a shot of Tayshia coming out of the pool for the 1000th time. She then admonishes the guys for wearing shirts and tells them to 'take it off so I can see what we're working with.' All of a sudden, none of the guys seem to have a problem with playing strip pool basketball. Same group of guys, same situation where a Bachelorette asks them to wear hardly any clothing and compete for her affection, two weeks apart, and now it's not even a plot point. Tayshia decided that despite the guys are all speedo'ed up, she'll put on regular clothes again. What a mess.
Jason's still in his feelings for Clare which seems - genuine? I have a hard time believing anything is genuine on this show, but he seems like a real dude. Unlike Turtleneck Brendan, who says that getting the first one on one date gives him "validation." I don't believe that guy at all.
Zac and Tayshia have a real ridiculous conversation where they ask each other why they're single, which is an absurd question. Zac says he's single because he just hasn't found it yet....which, obviously. Tayshia on the other hand says that "there's no men where I live, just boys chasing things." Is Peter Pan her neighbor?
Riley and Spencer keep up their feud that started in the pool. Riley says "back home we'd call you Lunchmeat because you talk a lot of shit." Lunchmeat talks shit? I'm not really sure Riley explained that name all that well.
Tayshia tells Spencer she loves that he fought for her - you know because he got elbowed in the pool. Eazy gets the group date rose though, which honestly is a good call by her. He seems like a quality first date dude....it's gonna be fun, there's not gonna be any awkward silences.....don't know how well that translates to a full relationship though. Not saying it can't, but can he sustain that energy over years and years?
Jason mans up, admits his feelings for Clare, and honorably bows out of the competition. Good on you, Jason. Quality move right there. Jason seems like a real good dude.
Brendan's date is absurd. Horseback riding around the pool? Brendan also says "I was here for Clare, but you're actually more my style anyways." This show is so full of shit sometimes man. Hilarious.
Chris Harrison hustling around the resort hocking beverages and snacks is pretty hilarious actually. He really needed to hop out of the pool with a snorkel offering bud lights or something. Tayshia so far has kissed Zac and Brendan.....who honestly seem like the two most BORING dudes there. I need to re-evaluate how I feel about Tayshia. She gives Eazy the rose on the group date, but she's kissing the boring ass dudes? What is happening?
Brendan and Tayshia bond over their failed marriages, he gets a rose, and they genuinely seem happy together, there are literal fireworks, and the episode is over. Hoping for more figurative fireworks next week!
