This is always my least favorite episode to write about, because there's no real drama. No guys are mad with each each other, The goofy dates are over with, and any drama is really contrived. This year, however, the real drama was on After the Final Rose. We'll get to that.
First, the episode. I love the "live" audience. Chad's here! Ben and Lauren are here! The Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders are here? Some girl wearing a cheesehead is here, because we're going to milk this Aaron Rodgers thing for all its worth!
Robby meets the family. They love him. He loves JoJo. JoJo loves him. Everything is great!
Jordan meets the family. He has goofy hats! He loves JoJo, he doesn't ask to marry JoJo. DRAMA.
JoJo then has this conversation with her family:
"We think Jordan is great, but Robby is really the better husband for you."
"So you think I should pick Robby?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOO. We didn't say that!"
Whatever. She has a date with Robby and it's whatever. She has a date with Jordan and it's also very boring, except for the conversation where she says "you didn't ask my dad for his blessing! That's important to me!" and Jordan says "well it's important to me too, and that's why I didn't want to do it not knowing if you love me more than Robby and if it's just all for show." JoJo's mature response is basically "Yeah, but it was important to me, so you should've done it regardless of how uncomfortable you may have felt. This is about ME right now."
Ugh.
The guys then meet up with Neil Lane. I love this part, where Neil Lane shows them a rack of rings probably hand picked by JoJo ahead of time, and the guys handle the rings and say stuff like "this one really catches the light" and "I like the clarity of this one." No ring shopping ever goes like that. My ring shopping involved me bringing my mom along because I was a nervous wreck that I was going to screw it up somehow, and a lot of "so what do you have in this price range?" questions. Of course, money is no object on this show, which makes it even more hilarious when Chris Harrison invariably asks to see the rock on After the Final Rose, and then congratulates the guy on picking out a beautiful ring. You know, out of the six insanely expensive rings that he didn't have to pay for that were most likely designed by JoJo herself. Way to go man!
Then the guys write letters to JoJo. Robby addresses his to "Ms. Fletcher." She's not your teacher, dummy! She's not giving you a job! JoJo cries reading them and says she doesn't like reading everything she ever wanted to hear. OK then......
Robby's first out of the limo! Too bad, so sad. He walks down to the beach, across some magic carpet looking things that I guess make it easier to walk or something, and starts to tell JoJo how much he loves her. JoJo pumps the brakes before he can get down on one knee, and says "I woke up this morning wanting it to be you."
........
I've never had to cut someone off from proposing to me, but saying to the guy "I'm going to let someone else propose to me today, but this morning I was really hoping that my heart would allow me to allow you to propose" is not the best course of action. It's one thing to say "look, I love you, I think you're great, I may have even said yes if Jordan wasn't in the picture, but he is, and I have to pursue that. I hope you'll understand." But to essentially say "I really hoped that I would want to marry you this morning" just sounds brutal. Robby handled it well, but his face took on a different, more intense look than I'd ever seen from him before. If he'd shaved his head, he'd have looked exactly like Jason Statham in every movie he's ever been in.
Jordan wins, everyone's happy, on to After the Final Rose!
Really the only reason anyone watched is because Chris Harrison made it a point to remind us that "they were going to try to get to the bottom of Jordan's rift with his brother, GREEN BAY PACKERS QUARTERBACK AARON RODGERS, going in and out of every commercial break. This amounted to one question, to which Jordan replied, "JoJo is a part of my family now, and those discussions will involve her going forward. We've got a lot of stuff to figure out. We've got furniture to buy!" Harrison tried again, asking JoJo if she'd met Aaron yet, and she said "the situation hasn't changed."
Being famous must suck so hard. I can't imagine if a disagreement with my brother or another family member became national news. I heard people call into a TV show this morning saying "Just from the way Aaron Rodgers acts on the sidelines, it doesn't surprise me at all that he has issues with his family." Give me a break. Chris Harrison then says "I kind of hope that this show will grow two relationships...yours with JoJo and also with your brother."
GTFO Chris. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Aaron Rodgers is not having a good week. With Brett Favre getting inducted into the Hall of Fame on Saturday, I'm sure he's already enduring a bazillion questions along the lines of "remember when you spent the first three years of your career holding a clipboard behind a legend? What was that like? Are you still friends?" Now he's going to have to answer a bunch of questions from entertainment types asking "so, your brother went on a dating show and says you guys aren't speaking because of the way you live your life...care to comment?" I mean, the guy makes more than $20 million a year, is married to a smokin' hot, funny, talented movie star, plays football FOR A JOB, and somehow he's having a worse week than me. Aaron, call me if you want to hang out. I'm hear to listen.
No comments:
Post a Comment