Getting Tripped Up on the Path to Being a Good Dad

First off, what is the biggest honor a person can get?  To me, it's having your country designate your birthday as a national holiday.  People who have their birthdays as an American federal holiday:  Martin Luther King, Christopher Columbus, George Washington, Jesus Christ and America.  I suppose you could say the world too (New Year's), but that's kind of stretching it.  So, props to MLK for being just one of four people in the past two thousand years to have their birthday celebrated by our entire country.  That's impressive.

Unfortunately, not everyone gets the day off, so I guess he still ranks behind Jesus.  No offense, Dr. King.  Rachel was working yesterday, so Jonah and I had a rare day for the two of us to hang out together.  Rachel gets every Thursday off, and I don't know how she does it.  I was dying by 4:30.  The difference between her ability to watch Jonah and mine is so shockingly large, the term "parent" cannot rationally refer to both our roles.  Let me expand on this topic:

The defnition of a successful day with Jonah for Rachel:

• Playtime in the morning
• Trip to the park
• Read some books
• Play some board games
• Shop for Groceries
• Get in time on the elliptical while Jonah watches tv/naps
• Clean the house....the whole house
• wash, dry and fold three loads of laundry
• Have dinner ready by the time I get home

Now, a successful day with Jonah for me:

• Make sure nobody dies

That's it.  If I get through an entire day without sending one or both of us to the emergency room, I think everyone is pleased with the outcome.  I suppose this would explain why Rachel was mildly exasperated at my inability to correctly make the bed yesterday.  Truth be told, I barely accomplished my only goal yesterday.  Jonah got a remote control truck for his birthday in October.  A real beast of a monster truck.  The remote is still a little too big for Jonah to effectively operate it, but he enjoys either driving it straight until it crashes into something, or driving in a circle until it crashes into something.  Either outcome is met by riotous laughter.  The weather yesterday allowed us take that bad boy out and run it around for a while.  After Jonah had his fun running it into stuff, he hands me the remote and says "here dad, your turn."  Very nice kid, my son.  He even let some other kid play with it while we were swinging on the swings at the park later on.  Anyways, for my "turn" I asked Jonah if he thought I could drive it across the park, around the basketball hoop, and back to us.  He said "yes, and I will race it!"  Sounds good.  So off he goes, staying a few steps ahead of the monster truck.  I was a little concerned about the turn at the hoop, as they were on opposites sides of the hoop and thus would be turning towards each other, but it ended up not being an issue.  As they crossed the half court line on the way back, Jonah started to tire and the truck began to catch up.  Jonah could hear it coming and looked over his shoulder for the truck as he ran.  This change of center of balance caused Jonah's path to start to converge with that of the truck.  I attempted to course correct the truck, but, being the genius that I am, I forgot to take into account that the truck was coming towards me, therefore left for the truck was the opposite of my left.  So I brilliantly turned the truck directly under Jonah's legs, sending both him and the truck tumbling ass over teakettle to the pavement.  Thankfully, Jonah didn't smack his head or anything, just a slight scrape on his forearm.  The shock of the whole thing justifiably caused him to start sobbing.  I run to pick him up, and I'm able to calm him down.  As he's trying to compose himself, he asks me between sobs "Why did the truck trip me?"  I'm not going to lie, I contemplated putting all the blame on the truck and saying that it didn't want Jonah to win so it cheated and we should probably put it in timeout until it apologizes for its behavior.  I decided against that, instead saying that I had screwed up and turned the truck the wrong way.  This was met with a volley of  "Why would you do that, daddy?  Why did you trip me?" questions from the crying boy in my arms. 

We have to pass a test to drive a car.  We have to prove residency to check out a library book.  Yet anyone can have a child.  In my case, nobody's questioning my ability to have a second one.  Why is that the biggest responsibility I, or anyone for that matter, will ever has is completely unregulated?  Sure, if I screw up in a major way, someone will be there to deem me "unfit to raise a child," but really, shouldn't we try to establish this before we completely ruin our children?  Practically everytime you leave your house you're bound to run into a someone with kids that you can instantly say "that person should definitely not be in charge of a child."

Bottom line is that if you're going to call me a parent, then Rachel is a PARENT.  She's amazing, and I defnitely do not give her enough credit for all she does for us.  It's truly remarkable, and I will be sure to tell her this in person tonight.  However, I thought you all should know as well.  Rachel is flat out awesome. 

Life After Quizz

Fear not, Beaver Nation.  Life will go on.  There will be football played in Corvallis next season.  And while it always hurts to lose a player with the considerable talent Jacquizz Rodgers has, the Beavs will be ok.  I'm trying to take a glass half full approach to today's stomach punch of an announcement.  Keep in mind that I don't really believe anything I'm about to write, but I'm trying to talk myself out of the hell that is losing #1 and having to watch UO get their undercarriage washed by every talking head at ESPN for a month straight. 

Reasons Why the Beavs will be OK

• We are a pass first offense.  QB's come to OSU because Mike Riley is the coach, and Danny Langsdorf is the offensive coordinator.  Don't forget that the 3 of the last 4 OSU starting QB's have gone onto the league - Anderson, Moore, and Canfield.  Katz had a predictable up and down season for a first year starter, but with all the talent in the passing game returning next year (James Rogers, Joe Halahuni, Jordan Bishop, Markus Wheaton) we should be well prepared for a decreased running attack. 
• Suspect offensive line play will be mitigated by Katz's ability to scramble.  Katz has the escapability to offset some of the pourous o-line play OSU seems to get from time to time.  Look for Katz to have more rushing yards next year as pockets collapse and he scrambles for vital first downs. 
• No star means more versatility.  'Quizz needed to have the ball in his hands.  Every fan knew it, every player knew it, every opposing coach knew it.  He was option A, B, and C.  That makes you predictable.  With no one true superstar, the ball can be distributed to anyone, forcing the defense to cover everyone.  Katz can now drop back to pass without having to think "check down to Quizz" in the back of his mind. 
• Depth at RB.  While nobody on the current roster has Quizz level ablility, there are plenty of guys to turn to.  Jovan Stevenson was out all year, but showed he was capable as a freshman in 2009.  Ryan McCants can present problems if he fixes his fumble-itis.  (Reports were that he did over the past offseason, but we never got a chance to see it because Quizz got 99% of the carries this season.  I'll believe it when I see it, but I'm taking an optimists view right now.)  Practice reports on Jordan Jenkins are positive, the same can be said about Malcolm Marable.  Recruit Storm Woods from Texas could be a game changer, if his talent is half as good as his name. 
• OSU's been through this before.  Ken Simonton graduated and Steven Jackson took his place.  Steven Jackson left early, and Yvensen Bernard stepped in and became one of the most underrated Pac-10 running backs of all time.  He was seriously good, and nobody will remember because of the guys who played immediately before and after him.  Yve graduated and handed the reins off to Quizz.  Somebody will step in and play well. 
• The D will be better.  I know, I know.  Stephen Paea is gone.  They lost Pankey and Roberson.  A bunch of D-linemen graduated.  You know what though?  Aside from Paea, none of those guys were really that good.  Is anyone going "how are we going to replace Kevin Frahm?  And where will we ever find someone with the talent of Brennan Olander?"  No.  They were average at best.  The guys behind them might be better than average.  We don't know because they were freshmen who weren't ready to play.  Lance Mitchell and Jordan Poyer are back, with another year of experience under their belts.  Better secondary coverage will help mask deficiencies up front.  Don't forget that the D held Oregon to their second lowest scoring total of the season, and the lowest if you throw out those fakers down in Berkeley.
• Scheduling (probably) means a bowl game.  No USC next year.  I know OSU beat them this year, but they haven't won in LA since Nixon was in office or something.  Stanford comes to Corvallis without the mad genius that is Jim Harbaugh.  Road conference games are Arizona State, Washington State, Cal, Utah and Oregon....I think you can call 3 of those very winnable.  @Boise State is replaced by a mediocre BYU team at home.  @TCU turns into @Wisconsin - who is a good team, but they start out almost as slowly as OSU does.  They needed a blocked extra point to beat ASU, and struggled all game with a San Jose State team that finished the season 1-12.  Plus they are losing two stud O-linemen and will have a first time starter at QB.  It's a tough game, but we've played worse.  Keep in mind that the three non conference opponents this year had combined records of 32-7.  Next year's non-conference opponents had a combined record of 24-13, which includes 11-2 Wisconsin. 
• The Return of the Original Rodgers.  James's injury showed how vital he was to the team.  He does so many things, defenses have to adjust solely based on his position on the field.  Putting him in motion can create holes that weren't previously available.  Don't forget that he's an All-American too.  With him and Poyer back returning kicks/punts, field position could be in the Beavs favor quite often next season. 
• Mike Riley.  Beaver fans love to tout Mike Riley's ability to "do more with less" at the same time as criticizing his inability to get to major bowl games.  Hate to break it to you, but you can't have it both ways.  Fact of the matter is that OSU doesn't get the same kind of athletes that other Pac-12 schools get, yet they are competitive every season.  The reason is coaching, and I think you can make the case that the talent level at OSU continues to get better every year.  I really don't think it's long before everything comes together for a season where OSU's in the national conversation from start to finish.  It may only last a year or two (See:  OSU 2000-2001) but it will happen.

So there you have it.  The Beavs will be back, and before long it might be them playing for the national championship.  And when they do, you can bet they don't cheapen it by referring to it as "the Natty," a term normally reserved for what I'm told is a pretty awful beer.