So since the Wii has entered the door at 814 NW Riverbow Ave, it's been the central figure in the family. It really is almost like a family member. It's become Jonah's best friend, my personal trainer, and Rachel's....well Rachel treats it with indifference, almost as if it were a goldfish. Anyways, it's great because it's given us something to do with Jonah that's not simply sitting there watching a movie. He's a big fan of playing golf, and even gives the balance board a try, doing fairly well (for a two year old) in the obstacle course and the one where you are in a chicken suit and flap your arms trying to land on a ship. Sounds ridiculous, but it's fun. We've even been able to use the Wii as a social networking device. It gave us a reason to invite my cousins and their significant others over for a night of trying to head virtual soccer balls and mariokart, which was great fun. We haven't had them over in quite a while.
So yes, the Wii has been great fun. It's also been a pain in the ass.
Specifically the Wii Fit's insistence that I'm obese. Nothing starts my day off quite like hearing "measuring....measuring...measuring....all done!" followed by a skinny mii suddenly becoming a sumo wrestler and a little computerized voice saying "that's obese!" Real shot in the arm of confidence that is. Anyways, I've been determined to get myself out of the "obese" category, and have dedicated a half hour or so a morning to working out on the damn thing. So far I've lost about 5 lbs, but still have miles to go to get into the "that's overweight!" category.
The real fun begins when you get to pick your virtual trainer. You get the option of a male or a female trainer. I've never been a fan of guys in spandex with styled hair, so it was an easy choice to go with the female trainer. I named her Jessica, figuring it'd be easier to take directions from something with a name. Plus when she says "your leg's a little shaky," it's more fun to say "Kiss my ass Jessica," than just yelling at the TV screen. Rachel immediately picked the male trainer and named him Tony. Sadly (or in my case thankfully) Tony is not seen in our house that often, as Rachel can elliptical at work and as such only uses the Wii Fit on weekends, although one time this week, he pinch hit for Jessica. He says "Hi, I'm standing in for your regular trainer today, is that ok?" as if I have a freaking choice. No Tony, it's not OK. I picked Jessica because you look like someone I would never ever want to spend time with. Of course there's no option to tell him it's not ok, so I only did a 15 minute session that day.
It's quite amusing to see Rachel's Mii character fall asleep standing up from inactivity, when in reality she's on the go almost constantly and exercises more than just about anyone I know. Meanwhile, my sumo wrestler sized dude is bouncing around and doing yoga poses looking like an overcaffinated Biggest Loser contestant.
Jessica is not very forgiving. Besides "your leg's a little shaky," she also enjoys letting me know that my balance sucks by saying "you put your foot down, didn't you?" and reminding me that "it's ok to put my knees on the floor while doing pushups." It is not ok for any man to put his knees on the floor and do a pushup. If you have to do that, just stop doing pushups. Find another activity to strengthen your upper body until you can do a pushup. Jessica also apparently does not see the creepiness in her telling me that I can "also view her from the back" if that helps me do the exercise correctly. She also likes to tell me stuff like "wow, I must've stayed up too late last night" as she yawns and stretches like a kitten. Since it's six in the morning when she says this, it's entirely plausible to me that she is a little tired, and I find myself thinking "me too Jessica, why were you up late last night?" before remembering that she's a freaking computer program and immediately being creeped out at myself.
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