So this morning I opened the garage door to leave for work, and a dog comes running in, almost as if he's been waiting patiently for me to open the door for him. Jonah loves this and immediately demands that I put him down so he can pet this dog. Not knowing anything about the pooch, I was hesitant. The dog was friendly, but hyperactive. So I go to put Jonah in the car, and before I can do so, the dog goes under the car door and hops into Jonah's car seat. Well, this isn't going to work. So I coax the dog out of the car and get Jonah situated. The dog is hovering trying to find a way back into the car. Our neighborhood streets are deserted, this dog isn't with anyone. So I do the honorable thing, I'm taking this dog to the humane society!
Only the humane society isn't open at 7:30. Furthermore, the humane society isn't open on Mondays. There's a number on their answering machine for Linn County animal control. I call that. No answer. No answering machine. About this time, it dawns on me that I live in Benton County. I can get their humane society to take the guy. Nope....they're not open on Monday's either. I get to work, and look up the number for Benton County animal control. The guy who does animal control is on vacation until Wednesday. "Can you keep the dog until Wednesday?" the guy asks me. Really? There's a whole government paid position to handle this problem, and you're putting it on me, the guy who found the lost dog and is trying to prevent it from getting hit by a car? So then the guy says "well where did you find the dog?" "At my house in North Albany," I say. "Oh, well you need to call Albany's humane society then." I explain that they're closed. So I get transferred to the Albany PD. They tell me I need to call Corvallis because the dog is currently in Corvallis. I tell them they won't take it because the dog was found in Albany. So then they say "well we can't come and get it." I know this. I am fully aware of the inability of gov't entities to cross imaginary borders. "I'll bring it to you," I say. "Ok, take it to your house and an officer will come get it when they have a chance." What is this the cable guy? Just sit at your house and wait for the cops who may or may not have time to get it? I kindly ask if I can just bring the dog to them. I am put on hold for a while, and finally I am told that that will be fine.
All because a dog jumped into my car.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Dreams
So my dream last night was too weird not to share with people.
I somehow ran into a few of my friends from elementary school. (To protect them from any embarrassment and or confusion as to why they were in my dream, I will omit their names. I truly have no idea how they ended up in my dream anyways.) Friend One and I are playing playing Monopoly in some random dormitory lobby. Friend Two walks past and says she is heading to her apartment and wants to know if we need to do any laundry. I just so happen to have a large pile of laundry sitting next to me. So I enlist Friend One's help to load my laundry into the back of Friend Two's Chrysler Sebring Convertible. We then drive to her apartment. Friend Two goes to unlock the door while Friend One and I gather up the laundry (why I didn't have a laundry basket or some type of bag, I don't know).
As we round the corner with our arms full of laundry we see Friend Two being threatened by a crazed Indian mathematician holding a switchblade. By Indian, I mean from the country India, and I knew he was a mathematician because he looked completely unathletic and was wearing glasses and a pocket protector. The crazed Indian is making absolutely no sense, which scares Friend One into throwing the laundry on the ground and running back to the car. Indian guy seems intent on fighting me, and figured threatening my friend was the best way to do that. I tell him that if he really wants to fight, we can, but it's not exactly fair if he has a switchblade and I have some dirty socks. Surprisingly, he agrees, and throws me a hay hook. Hay hooks are basically long metal hooks with a handle used to move bales of hay. Anyways, I'm pretty sure I can defeat and uncoordinated mathematician with a switchblade with this hay hook, so I motion to Friend Two to run up to her apartment and lock the door. She does, and the fight commences.
I never figured out why this guy wanted to fight me, but it becomes obvious within a few seconds that I could really kill this guy if I wanted to. He's tripping over his feet, keeps calling time-out to adjust his glasses, things like that. I feel bad for the guy, so rather than rip his face off with the hay hook, I keep bonking him on the head with the curved part of the hook. Finally, the guy starts crying and runs off. I run up to the apartment, where Friend Two thanks me and says she'll be waiting in the car while I put my laundry in the washing machine. I do, and then open the door to head back to the car, only to be confronted by the same crazed Indian! I ask the guy if he really wants to go through that whole thing again, but the Indian says that no, he is not the same guy, but his twin brother. He apologizes for his brother's behavior and wants to know where Friend Two is so he can apologize to her. I start escorting him to the car, when these two little kids with strong Texas accents start pointing and yelling "Mama, Mama, he's escorting an illegal alien!" Not wanting to deal with this, we start heading for car a little quicker, until "Mama" comes around the corner in her cutoff jeans and flannel shirt tied in a knot at the bottom. She's screaming about how I need to take this guy back across the border immediately, or she's calling INS. At this point I get really mad and start yelling at this lady about how not all people of color are illegal immigrants from Mexico, but she is undeterred. She calls INS, the FBI and every other three letter agency she can think of. You'd think that I would just sit around, wait for everyone to show up, get the thing sorted out and be done with it, but because it's a dream, We get in the car and try to make a getaway from the crime we didn't commit. We're crusing down this road while Friend One, who has been hiding in the backseat, keeps muttering how we should've just finished playing Monopoly and Crazed Indian's Twin yammers on about how this never happened to him back in New Delhi.
Then, as the choppers and police cruisers close in on us as we fly down some wooded highway under a full moon, I wake up. I almost felt cheated. I tried to go back to sleep, but my son, who decided he just couldn't stand another minute in his crib and had to come into bed with us at 3:30 in the morning, was snoring so loudly that falling back asleep was impossible. Too bad.
I somehow ran into a few of my friends from elementary school. (To protect them from any embarrassment and or confusion as to why they were in my dream, I will omit their names. I truly have no idea how they ended up in my dream anyways.) Friend One and I are playing playing Monopoly in some random dormitory lobby. Friend Two walks past and says she is heading to her apartment and wants to know if we need to do any laundry. I just so happen to have a large pile of laundry sitting next to me. So I enlist Friend One's help to load my laundry into the back of Friend Two's Chrysler Sebring Convertible. We then drive to her apartment. Friend Two goes to unlock the door while Friend One and I gather up the laundry (why I didn't have a laundry basket or some type of bag, I don't know).
As we round the corner with our arms full of laundry we see Friend Two being threatened by a crazed Indian mathematician holding a switchblade. By Indian, I mean from the country India, and I knew he was a mathematician because he looked completely unathletic and was wearing glasses and a pocket protector. The crazed Indian is making absolutely no sense, which scares Friend One into throwing the laundry on the ground and running back to the car. Indian guy seems intent on fighting me, and figured threatening my friend was the best way to do that. I tell him that if he really wants to fight, we can, but it's not exactly fair if he has a switchblade and I have some dirty socks. Surprisingly, he agrees, and throws me a hay hook. Hay hooks are basically long metal hooks with a handle used to move bales of hay. Anyways, I'm pretty sure I can defeat and uncoordinated mathematician with a switchblade with this hay hook, so I motion to Friend Two to run up to her apartment and lock the door. She does, and the fight commences.
I never figured out why this guy wanted to fight me, but it becomes obvious within a few seconds that I could really kill this guy if I wanted to. He's tripping over his feet, keeps calling time-out to adjust his glasses, things like that. I feel bad for the guy, so rather than rip his face off with the hay hook, I keep bonking him on the head with the curved part of the hook. Finally, the guy starts crying and runs off. I run up to the apartment, where Friend Two thanks me and says she'll be waiting in the car while I put my laundry in the washing machine. I do, and then open the door to head back to the car, only to be confronted by the same crazed Indian! I ask the guy if he really wants to go through that whole thing again, but the Indian says that no, he is not the same guy, but his twin brother. He apologizes for his brother's behavior and wants to know where Friend Two is so he can apologize to her. I start escorting him to the car, when these two little kids with strong Texas accents start pointing and yelling "Mama, Mama, he's escorting an illegal alien!" Not wanting to deal with this, we start heading for car a little quicker, until "Mama" comes around the corner in her cutoff jeans and flannel shirt tied in a knot at the bottom. She's screaming about how I need to take this guy back across the border immediately, or she's calling INS. At this point I get really mad and start yelling at this lady about how not all people of color are illegal immigrants from Mexico, but she is undeterred. She calls INS, the FBI and every other three letter agency she can think of. You'd think that I would just sit around, wait for everyone to show up, get the thing sorted out and be done with it, but because it's a dream, We get in the car and try to make a getaway from the crime we didn't commit. We're crusing down this road while Friend One, who has been hiding in the backseat, keeps muttering how we should've just finished playing Monopoly and Crazed Indian's Twin yammers on about how this never happened to him back in New Delhi.
Then, as the choppers and police cruisers close in on us as we fly down some wooded highway under a full moon, I wake up. I almost felt cheated. I tried to go back to sleep, but my son, who decided he just couldn't stand another minute in his crib and had to come into bed with us at 3:30 in the morning, was snoring so loudly that falling back asleep was impossible. Too bad.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Senior Year
Fill this out about your SENIOR year of high school! The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be!! At the end, choose 10 people (or more) to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
(To do this, go to "notes" under the tabs on your profile page, copy and paste my note in the body of the note, delete my answers and type yours, tag 10 people (in the right hand corner of the app). Then click publish.)
IN YOUR SENIOR YEAR DID YOU...
1. Did you date someone from your school?
I suppose you could call it dating, but I was terrible at being a boyfriend. I was a mess when it came to interacting with the opposite sex.
2. Did you marry someone from your high school?
Sure didn't. Anyone who knew me in high school definitely did not view me as marriage material.
3. Did you car pool to school?
With Grant. I think we listened to 2Pac - Wonda Why They Call U Bitch every morning on the way to school for six straight months.
4. What kind of car did you have?
1995 Ford Mustang. Sounds cooler than it was....trust me on this one.
5. What kind of car do you have now?
07 Jeep Compass. Is cooler than it sounds....trust me on this one.
6. Its Saturday night...where are you now?
Either at an OSU basketball game or watching a movie on the couch with Rachel and Jonah
7. It is Saturday night...where were you then?
Most likely playing video games at JR's apartment, or possibly playing mini golf at Bullwinkle's.
8. What kind of job did you have in high school?
I refereed little kids basketball in the winters, worked basketball camps in the summers, and drove a tractor for dad on the weekends.
9. What kind of job do you do now?
I'm a gift processing specialist, which is a fancy way of saying I play on facebook all day and deposit checks in my spare time.
10. Were you a party animal?
I was the opposite of a part animal. I was more of a party vegetable. I'd be there, but I was the one who kept people from doing things that would draw the attention of the police, and then drive them home at the end of the night. I was pretty popular for my designated driving capability.
11. Were you considered a flirt?
Probably....because once it got past the flirting stage, I had no clue what the hell I was doing.
12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
Absolutely not....of my many talents, music is not one.
13. Were you a nerd?
Think anyone else was bumping Sir Mix-a-Lot and Young MC in the parking lot in 1997? Well, they weren't.
14. Did you get suspended or expelled?
Nope.
15. Can you sing the fight song?
Nope. I think it was set to Notre Dame's music, but I can't remember the words, if I ever even knew them.
16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)?
Probably Mrs. Lipari-Jones. I gave her a lot of crap, but she gave it right back. One time she told me to go to hell....in a nice way I think.
17. Where did you sit during lunch?
Good question. Many times at McDonalds...that was the year that Monopoly first happened. I ate quite a few quarter pounders that year.
18. What was your school's full name?
Wilsonville High School - pretty basic
19. When did you graduate?
1997
20. What was your school mascot?
Wildcats.
21. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
Senior year? Yeah. I enjoyed it.
22. Did you have fun at Prom?
Sure did....I picked the right girl to go with, had a good time, dinner was fairly cheap...all in all a good night. I remember some guy down on the Waterfront called me a "true pimp" for giving my date my jacket.
23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?
I don't, and that's a shame. She's a really cool person.
24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion?
Only if someone else plans it! The 10 year was fun, but planning it was a bit of a pain.
25. Do you still talk to people from school?
A few.
26. School Colors?
Navy and Silver
27. What celebrities came from your high school?
So far, none that I can think of.
(To do this, go to "notes" under the tabs on your profile page, copy and paste my note in the body of the note, delete my answers and type yours, tag 10 people (in the right hand corner of the app). Then click publish.)
IN YOUR SENIOR YEAR DID YOU...
1. Did you date someone from your school?
I suppose you could call it dating, but I was terrible at being a boyfriend. I was a mess when it came to interacting with the opposite sex.
2. Did you marry someone from your high school?
Sure didn't. Anyone who knew me in high school definitely did not view me as marriage material.
3. Did you car pool to school?
With Grant. I think we listened to 2Pac - Wonda Why They Call U Bitch every morning on the way to school for six straight months.
4. What kind of car did you have?
1995 Ford Mustang. Sounds cooler than it was....trust me on this one.
5. What kind of car do you have now?
07 Jeep Compass. Is cooler than it sounds....trust me on this one.
6. Its Saturday night...where are you now?
Either at an OSU basketball game or watching a movie on the couch with Rachel and Jonah
7. It is Saturday night...where were you then?
Most likely playing video games at JR's apartment, or possibly playing mini golf at Bullwinkle's.
8. What kind of job did you have in high school?
I refereed little kids basketball in the winters, worked basketball camps in the summers, and drove a tractor for dad on the weekends.
9. What kind of job do you do now?
I'm a gift processing specialist, which is a fancy way of saying I play on facebook all day and deposit checks in my spare time.
10. Were you a party animal?
I was the opposite of a part animal. I was more of a party vegetable. I'd be there, but I was the one who kept people from doing things that would draw the attention of the police, and then drive them home at the end of the night. I was pretty popular for my designated driving capability.
11. Were you considered a flirt?
Probably....because once it got past the flirting stage, I had no clue what the hell I was doing.
12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
Absolutely not....of my many talents, music is not one.
13. Were you a nerd?
Think anyone else was bumping Sir Mix-a-Lot and Young MC in the parking lot in 1997? Well, they weren't.
14. Did you get suspended or expelled?
Nope.
15. Can you sing the fight song?
Nope. I think it was set to Notre Dame's music, but I can't remember the words, if I ever even knew them.
16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)?
Probably Mrs. Lipari-Jones. I gave her a lot of crap, but she gave it right back. One time she told me to go to hell....in a nice way I think.
17. Where did you sit during lunch?
Good question. Many times at McDonalds...that was the year that Monopoly first happened. I ate quite a few quarter pounders that year.
18. What was your school's full name?
Wilsonville High School - pretty basic
19. When did you graduate?
1997
20. What was your school mascot?
Wildcats.
21. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
Senior year? Yeah. I enjoyed it.
22. Did you have fun at Prom?
Sure did....I picked the right girl to go with, had a good time, dinner was fairly cheap...all in all a good night. I remember some guy down on the Waterfront called me a "true pimp" for giving my date my jacket.
23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?
I don't, and that's a shame. She's a really cool person.
24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion?
Only if someone else plans it! The 10 year was fun, but planning it was a bit of a pain.
25. Do you still talk to people from school?
A few.
26. School Colors?
Navy and Silver
27. What celebrities came from your high school?
So far, none that I can think of.
My life in music
This is pretty fun. Send to all of your music friends!
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For the first question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button TWICE
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...just type it in man!
7. Tag people to do it too
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE
1. Opening Credits:
Johnny Cash - One Piece at a Time (not bad......)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4pAwosnIQE&feature=related
2. Waking Up:
Notorious B.I.G. - N*ggas Bleed (yup...first thing in the morning)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92luJ5vNNH0
3. First Day at School:
Britney Spears - Piece of Me (Man, now that would be a great movie scene....me as a 5 year old with my Scooby Doo lunch box walking into school with Britney blasting and all the little kids staring at me and my principal just shaking his head as I walk by)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4NayXtzsBo
4. Falling in Love:
Lil Jon - What U Gon' Do (I'm guessing this relationship didn't last too long)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i2icZ_Ubf8
5. Losing Virginity:
Nelly - Wrap Sumden (Always use protection!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7fWb3AVbCs
6. Fight Song:
Cadillac Don & J-Money - Peanut Butter & Jelly (this would be one strange fight scene. I picture myself getting out of a low rider wearing a long coat that starts blowing in the wind, showing off my gun holster.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1ycRFd3_Gc
7. Breaking Up:
Gretchen Wilson - Homewrecker (Kinda works, makes me sound like a cheater though)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edOynjUTMnc
8. Prom:
Shenandoah - Church on Cumberland Road (Sorta works)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERhwdvXElR8
9. Life:
Ric-A-Che - Coo-Coo Chee (I encourage everyone to listen to this song...as one of my friends put it, "I'd love it if I was in a hammock during the summer"
http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/366048529
10. Mental Breakdown:
Taylor Swift - Cold As You (I could see myself just crying alone in the fetal position in the shower while this song plays)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nr8On5pJtdc
11. Driving:
2Pac - Heaven ain't Hard to Find (Really wish Will Smith - Cruisin' would've come up here)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHlpoL43hho
12. Flashback:
Gary Allan - Right Where I Need to Be (Yes....flashing back to a perfect date with the love of my life....I love it.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpIAMvJ-txw
13. Getting Back Together:
Dierks Bentley - Feel That Fire (I picture us kissing as a building explodes in the background and the camera is circling us at a very rapid pace)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJlNAxnOn_g
14. Wedding:
Mark McGuin - Mrs. Steven Rudy (Ummm...this is a song about coveting your neighbor's wife....not so cool. Ideally I would've had a Keith Urban song going here.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbnDFITUM0Y
15. Birth of Child:
Katy Perry - If You Can Afford Me (Babies can be expensive.....very true)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C9lldQuKhc
16. Final Battle:
Petey Pablo - Raise Up (This one's for North Carolina! I can think of no greater honor than to die in batlle for the Tar Heel State)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-26bRZEedZg
17. Death Scene:
Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby (Because nothing kills the mood like a little Ice. I may put into my will that this plays as they put me in the ground.....just so the last memory everyone has of me is one where they're smiling and shaking their heads going "Wow Andy. Wow.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp-is6S_b_g
18. Funeral Song:
Toby Keith - Should've Been a Cowboy (Also a good one to go into the ground to)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hz0EXXZU8g
19. End Credits:
Nas - One Mic (Nice....very classy movie we just produced)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrlZUlcV_Fg
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For the first question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button TWICE
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...just type it in man!
7. Tag people to do it too
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE
1. Opening Credits:
Johnny Cash - One Piece at a Time (not bad......)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4pAwosnIQE&feature=related
2. Waking Up:
Notorious B.I.G. - N*ggas Bleed (yup...first thing in the morning)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92luJ5vNNH0
3. First Day at School:
Britney Spears - Piece of Me (Man, now that would be a great movie scene....me as a 5 year old with my Scooby Doo lunch box walking into school with Britney blasting and all the little kids staring at me and my principal just shaking his head as I walk by)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4NayXtzsBo
4. Falling in Love:
Lil Jon - What U Gon' Do (I'm guessing this relationship didn't last too long)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i2icZ_Ubf8
5. Losing Virginity:
Nelly - Wrap Sumden (Always use protection!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7fWb3AVbCs
6. Fight Song:
Cadillac Don & J-Money - Peanut Butter & Jelly (this would be one strange fight scene. I picture myself getting out of a low rider wearing a long coat that starts blowing in the wind, showing off my gun holster.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1ycRFd3_Gc
7. Breaking Up:
Gretchen Wilson - Homewrecker (Kinda works, makes me sound like a cheater though)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edOynjUTMnc
8. Prom:
Shenandoah - Church on Cumberland Road (Sorta works)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERhwdvXElR8
9. Life:
Ric-A-Che - Coo-Coo Chee (I encourage everyone to listen to this song...as one of my friends put it, "I'd love it if I was in a hammock during the summer"
http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/366048529
10. Mental Breakdown:
Taylor Swift - Cold As You (I could see myself just crying alone in the fetal position in the shower while this song plays)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nr8On5pJtdc
11. Driving:
2Pac - Heaven ain't Hard to Find (Really wish Will Smith - Cruisin' would've come up here)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHlpoL43hho
12. Flashback:
Gary Allan - Right Where I Need to Be (Yes....flashing back to a perfect date with the love of my life....I love it.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpIAMvJ-txw
13. Getting Back Together:
Dierks Bentley - Feel That Fire (I picture us kissing as a building explodes in the background and the camera is circling us at a very rapid pace)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJlNAxnOn_g
14. Wedding:
Mark McGuin - Mrs. Steven Rudy (Ummm...this is a song about coveting your neighbor's wife....not so cool. Ideally I would've had a Keith Urban song going here.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbnDFITUM0Y
15. Birth of Child:
Katy Perry - If You Can Afford Me (Babies can be expensive.....very true)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C9lldQuKhc
16. Final Battle:
Petey Pablo - Raise Up (This one's for North Carolina! I can think of no greater honor than to die in batlle for the Tar Heel State)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-26bRZEedZg
17. Death Scene:
Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby (Because nothing kills the mood like a little Ice. I may put into my will that this plays as they put me in the ground.....just so the last memory everyone has of me is one where they're smiling and shaking their heads going "Wow Andy. Wow.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp-is6S_b_g
18. Funeral Song:
Toby Keith - Should've Been a Cowboy (Also a good one to go into the ground to)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hz0EXXZU8g
19. End Credits:
Nas - One Mic (Nice....very classy movie we just produced)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrlZUlcV_Fg
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
25 things about me
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
1. I finished typing my 25 things a few days ago, and then deleted the whole thing by accident. I just did this again. This is my third time typing 25 interesting facts about myself.
2. I've been to 10 major league baseball stadiums, but have only seen games played in 9.
3. Two questions I always answer yes to: "Would you like to go on a walk?" and "Do you want a Costco hot dog?"
4. Two questions I always answer no to: "Would you like to hold this gun?" and "Would you like pickles on that?"
5. If I could have dinner with any four people, I'd eat with Barack Obama, Magic Johnson, Reese Witherspoon and Bear Grylls.
6. We would eat salmon.
7. I have no idea what I would say to any of them.
8. I refuse to use chat slang like "LOL" "BRB" or "C U L8R." I can type fast enough that these things don't slow me down, plus I think they make me look dumb. I also think this is the reason so many people can't spell anymore.
9. Someone in my family has either been enrolled or employed by Oregon State University almost continuously since 1907.
10. I cry more than I used to. I think this is because I'm a parent.
11. I smile more than I used to. I know this is because I'm a parent.
12. I think Rachel and I had a boy because we couldn't come up with a name for a girl.
13. We settled on Jonah for our son's name because she liked it from the kid's name in Sleepless in Seattle, and I liked it because Jonah Nickerson led OSU to the national championship in baseball.
14. I'd rather be too cold than too hot.
15. Two girls have asked me the question "do you think she's cuter than me?" Twice I said yes. Twice the girl was mad. Twice I refused to apologize.
16. My hair started going gray in 10th grade.
17. I dyed my hair once using some Just for Men that my brother got me for Christmas. I looked like a freak with freakishly brown hair. I refuse to ever dye it again.
18. All of my grandparents lived to see their 85th birthday. I think this is a good sign.
19. I am a teetotaller.
20. I had to look up how to spell teetotaller. I'm still confused, because it said "teetotaller or teetotaler" and then gave a definition.
21. I visited Alaska with the sole mission of seeing a wild moose. I ended up taking a taxi to the Anchorage Zoo on my last day there to see one in captivity.
22. On January 1, 2010 I will be 30 years old. However, I will have lived in parts of five decades (70s, 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s). I know this is true for everyone born in 1979, but I still find it awesome.
23. I believe in aliens, ghosts, bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster if for no other reason than I think the world is more interesting if these things exist.
24. I can never remember important things like when the bill is due, what time I need to pick up my son, or what we need at the grocery store, but I know all the words to Bust a Move by Young MC, even though I haven't heard the song in years.
25. The only thing harder than figuring out 25 interesting things about yourself is figuring out 25 people that would be interested in reading 25 things interesting about yourself.
(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
1. I finished typing my 25 things a few days ago, and then deleted the whole thing by accident. I just did this again. This is my third time typing 25 interesting facts about myself.
2. I've been to 10 major league baseball stadiums, but have only seen games played in 9.
3. Two questions I always answer yes to: "Would you like to go on a walk?" and "Do you want a Costco hot dog?"
4. Two questions I always answer no to: "Would you like to hold this gun?" and "Would you like pickles on that?"
5. If I could have dinner with any four people, I'd eat with Barack Obama, Magic Johnson, Reese Witherspoon and Bear Grylls.
6. We would eat salmon.
7. I have no idea what I would say to any of them.
8. I refuse to use chat slang like "LOL" "BRB" or "C U L8R." I can type fast enough that these things don't slow me down, plus I think they make me look dumb. I also think this is the reason so many people can't spell anymore.
9. Someone in my family has either been enrolled or employed by Oregon State University almost continuously since 1907.
10. I cry more than I used to. I think this is because I'm a parent.
11. I smile more than I used to. I know this is because I'm a parent.
12. I think Rachel and I had a boy because we couldn't come up with a name for a girl.
13. We settled on Jonah for our son's name because she liked it from the kid's name in Sleepless in Seattle, and I liked it because Jonah Nickerson led OSU to the national championship in baseball.
14. I'd rather be too cold than too hot.
15. Two girls have asked me the question "do you think she's cuter than me?" Twice I said yes. Twice the girl was mad. Twice I refused to apologize.
16. My hair started going gray in 10th grade.
17. I dyed my hair once using some Just for Men that my brother got me for Christmas. I looked like a freak with freakishly brown hair. I refuse to ever dye it again.
18. All of my grandparents lived to see their 85th birthday. I think this is a good sign.
19. I am a teetotaller.
20. I had to look up how to spell teetotaller. I'm still confused, because it said "teetotaller or teetotaler" and then gave a definition.
21. I visited Alaska with the sole mission of seeing a wild moose. I ended up taking a taxi to the Anchorage Zoo on my last day there to see one in captivity.
22. On January 1, 2010 I will be 30 years old. However, I will have lived in parts of five decades (70s, 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s). I know this is true for everyone born in 1979, but I still find it awesome.
23. I believe in aliens, ghosts, bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster if for no other reason than I think the world is more interesting if these things exist.
24. I can never remember important things like when the bill is due, what time I need to pick up my son, or what we need at the grocery store, but I know all the words to Bust a Move by Young MC, even though I haven't heard the song in years.
25. The only thing harder than figuring out 25 interesting things about yourself is figuring out 25 people that would be interested in reading 25 things interesting about yourself.
Monday, January 12, 2009
I'm a very polite vampire.....
I think I need to apologize to the women out there who were offended by my post implying that these books were making girls wish their boyfriends were vampires. After the first book, I was still unconvinced. The second book was so slow and tough to read that it took me 3 weeks to start reading the third one after I finished. Well, that and the fact that I wasn’t about to pay for a hardcover copy, and people I knew who had the book were having trouble remembering to loan it to me. Now that I’ve read all the books, I can see that they have an appeal beyond simply “girl meets boy, girl finds out boy is vampire, girl falls in love with vampire, vampire loves girl so much he won’t eat her even though her blood smells SOOOOOO good.”
Though that part is there. The lovey dovey stuff in the books is so over the top, I found my eyes glazing over everytime Bella and Eddie were alone, only to have to go back and re-read all the mushy stuff to find the one sentence that tied that conversation to whatever the next scene was.
The biggest thing about these books is that they’re long enough that the author is able to bring the characters to life. The first book is almost exclusively Bella and Edward, but as the series progresses, you learn more and more about the peripheral characters, and you start to identify with one or many of them. You start to think about which characters you’d like to hang out with, which one’s you’d want to date (for me it’s unquestionably Alice) and which ones you wouldn’t mind if they were eternally damned.
Reading that many pages and investing that much time in the story is much like the feeling I got after playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. I’d spent so much time with my gangsta that when I drove down the street, I’d be convinced that I could just use my car to block traffic wherever I wanted and take a better car from the old lady behind me. I would think about “what would happen if those guys on the corner suddenly pulled out submachine guns and opened fire? How would I react? What would I do?”
With the Twilight books, you almost can’t help feeling as if you’ve moved to Forks and are constantly seeing vampires and other supernatural things. Rachel remarked that she had trouble concentrating at work the other day when measuring people’s blood sugar levels because she was worried that if she poked somebody’s finger too hard and they bled a little too much, one of the other patients might not be able to contain their vampiric bloodlust any longer.
The ironic thing is that I hardly have any interest in vampire cultures. I’ve never read another book about vampires, I didn’t wait in line on opening night to see “Van Helsing” (still haven’t seen it actually) and only watched the Blade movies because TNT insists on playing them every weekend. Much like I don’t have any real interest in “Thug Life” yet was completely consumed by Grand Theft Auto. Sometimes people just like to get away from the mundane life of “eat, work, sleep.”
I also saw the movie this weekend. First off, nobody who didn’t read the books would ever consider that a good movie. Second, I was a bit bewildered by the girls in the theater who gasped when Edward first showed up on the screen....did you not know who was playing him? Did you honestly not know what he was going to look like? Thirdly, I’ve never been to a movie where the foreshadowing was picked up on instantly by ever single person in the theater. Every inside joke was hilarious, every hint about future happenings was blatantly obvious. Very different atmosphere than most movies I’ve been to. And finally, any guy who sees the movie will not be able to get over how horrible the special effects were. One of my friends equated the way the vampires moved to The Flintstones “driving” their cars. Not that far off. The only scene that involved special effects that was even remotely well done was the baseball scene in my opinion.
So when I finish the 4th book (I’ll finish tonight), I’ll have to take a week or two to “move out of Forks” so to speak. But then what? Do I start reading Harry Potter? Lord help me if I start down that path.....
Though that part is there. The lovey dovey stuff in the books is so over the top, I found my eyes glazing over everytime Bella and Eddie were alone, only to have to go back and re-read all the mushy stuff to find the one sentence that tied that conversation to whatever the next scene was.
The biggest thing about these books is that they’re long enough that the author is able to bring the characters to life. The first book is almost exclusively Bella and Edward, but as the series progresses, you learn more and more about the peripheral characters, and you start to identify with one or many of them. You start to think about which characters you’d like to hang out with, which one’s you’d want to date (for me it’s unquestionably Alice) and which ones you wouldn’t mind if they were eternally damned.
Reading that many pages and investing that much time in the story is much like the feeling I got after playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. I’d spent so much time with my gangsta that when I drove down the street, I’d be convinced that I could just use my car to block traffic wherever I wanted and take a better car from the old lady behind me. I would think about “what would happen if those guys on the corner suddenly pulled out submachine guns and opened fire? How would I react? What would I do?”
With the Twilight books, you almost can’t help feeling as if you’ve moved to Forks and are constantly seeing vampires and other supernatural things. Rachel remarked that she had trouble concentrating at work the other day when measuring people’s blood sugar levels because she was worried that if she poked somebody’s finger too hard and they bled a little too much, one of the other patients might not be able to contain their vampiric bloodlust any longer.
The ironic thing is that I hardly have any interest in vampire cultures. I’ve never read another book about vampires, I didn’t wait in line on opening night to see “Van Helsing” (still haven’t seen it actually) and only watched the Blade movies because TNT insists on playing them every weekend. Much like I don’t have any real interest in “Thug Life” yet was completely consumed by Grand Theft Auto. Sometimes people just like to get away from the mundane life of “eat, work, sleep.”
I also saw the movie this weekend. First off, nobody who didn’t read the books would ever consider that a good movie. Second, I was a bit bewildered by the girls in the theater who gasped when Edward first showed up on the screen....did you not know who was playing him? Did you honestly not know what he was going to look like? Thirdly, I’ve never been to a movie where the foreshadowing was picked up on instantly by ever single person in the theater. Every inside joke was hilarious, every hint about future happenings was blatantly obvious. Very different atmosphere than most movies I’ve been to. And finally, any guy who sees the movie will not be able to get over how horrible the special effects were. One of my friends equated the way the vampires moved to The Flintstones “driving” their cars. Not that far off. The only scene that involved special effects that was even remotely well done was the baseball scene in my opinion.
So when I finish the 4th book (I’ll finish tonight), I’ll have to take a week or two to “move out of Forks” so to speak. But then what? Do I start reading Harry Potter? Lord help me if I start down that path.....
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Vacation
Nothing beats traveling. I got to go in the air puffer machine at the airport. Apparently I put the guy on edge by keeping my wallet in my back pocket. Then I was wearing a sweatshirt, and rather than take it off, he sent me to the puffer. A lady gave me instructions, but I didn't really hear her. So I did it wrong, almost causing an incident. She put me back in the puffer and I had to do it again. Meanwhile, Rachel was being instructed to remove Jonah's shoes....because everyone knows the most dangerous thing on any flight is a pair of size 3 baby shoes.
Then it was onto the plane. We sat across the aisle from a guy from Kenya. How do I know he's from Kenya? Well the people sitting next to him asked. He had an accent, so of course these two well meaning ignorants talked to him like he was retarded. Every question was asked louder and slower than normal. It was amusing and annoying at the same time. After they asked where he was from, where he was going and what he was doing in the States (as if he needed a reason), this moron asks the guy if he's a fast runner. Because he's from Kenya! Seriously? Do you ask everyone from Germany if they hate Jews? Do you ask every Australian if they have ever wrestled a crocodile? I mean how insulting and stereotypical can you get? Of course then his wife asks our friendly Kenyan if they celebrate Thanksgiving in Kenya. Why wouldn't the Kenyans celebrate the pilgrims having dinner with the native americans? It makes total sense! I felt awful for this poor guy, and a little ashamed of my fellow americans.
Traveling on Thanksgiving isn't all that bad actually. Our flights were full, but the airports weren't all that crowded. I will say that this charging for baggage thing has caused an increase in carry-ons, which I already hate with a purpose. The airlines would make more money if they just raised rates for the flight by $30...that way they could collect money from people without checked luggage as well. Plus, you'd eliminate people pushing the envelope with bags that barely fit in the overhead bins, and nobody would really complain.
The one drawback to traveling on Thanksgiving is being hungry when you land. Nothing is open. We weren't planning on having a big meal, because we didn't land in Milwaukee until 4:30, then had a 3 hour drive to Richland Center. Didn't leave a whole lot of time to prepare a turkey dinner. So we were going to eat somewhere along the way. The only place we could find open was a Denny's. Nothing says Thanksgiving like an all american slam in a mostly empty Denny's. There were a few elderly couples who probably had no family in the area and didn't want to cook for just themselves there, and one family that looked like they probably only ate turkey on Thanksgiving if they shot it themselves. That's about it. Good times.
Then it was onto the plane. We sat across the aisle from a guy from Kenya. How do I know he's from Kenya? Well the people sitting next to him asked. He had an accent, so of course these two well meaning ignorants talked to him like he was retarded. Every question was asked louder and slower than normal. It was amusing and annoying at the same time. After they asked where he was from, where he was going and what he was doing in the States (as if he needed a reason), this moron asks the guy if he's a fast runner. Because he's from Kenya! Seriously? Do you ask everyone from Germany if they hate Jews? Do you ask every Australian if they have ever wrestled a crocodile? I mean how insulting and stereotypical can you get? Of course then his wife asks our friendly Kenyan if they celebrate Thanksgiving in Kenya. Why wouldn't the Kenyans celebrate the pilgrims having dinner with the native americans? It makes total sense! I felt awful for this poor guy, and a little ashamed of my fellow americans.
Traveling on Thanksgiving isn't all that bad actually. Our flights were full, but the airports weren't all that crowded. I will say that this charging for baggage thing has caused an increase in carry-ons, which I already hate with a purpose. The airlines would make more money if they just raised rates for the flight by $30...that way they could collect money from people without checked luggage as well. Plus, you'd eliminate people pushing the envelope with bags that barely fit in the overhead bins, and nobody would really complain.
The one drawback to traveling on Thanksgiving is being hungry when you land. Nothing is open. We weren't planning on having a big meal, because we didn't land in Milwaukee until 4:30, then had a 3 hour drive to Richland Center. Didn't leave a whole lot of time to prepare a turkey dinner. So we were going to eat somewhere along the way. The only place we could find open was a Denny's. Nothing says Thanksgiving like an all american slam in a mostly empty Denny's. There were a few elderly couples who probably had no family in the area and didn't want to cook for just themselves there, and one family that looked like they probably only ate turkey on Thanksgiving if they shot it themselves. That's about it. Good times.
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