Hometown #1: Amanda (Orange County, CA)
Pre-family visit activity: Day at the beach. Amanda shows up wearing tiny jean shorts and what looks to be the bottom half of a sweater. The physics of what keeps that thing from falling to her waist are taught in a science class higher than anything I took. Ben's got on a shirt and shorts. Naturally, Amanda's kids show up wearing dresses and laced up knee high native-American moccasins. Ben is nervous about what to do with the kids. "They'll love it if you chase them," Amanda suggests. Because all kids love being chased by strangers. The older daughter seems fine playing with this guy, but the younger daughter, Charlie, is having none of it. At one point, Ben picks her up like Arnold Schwarzenegger picking up a kid on his first day undercover in Kindergarten Cop - just hold her at arms length and talk to her like she's a puppy. This whole thing is kind of weird.
Family Visit Awkwardness Level: Calling your girlfriend by your mom's name.
It could've been worse - the family kinda treated him with kid gloves, raising the point that "you can't go to the gym with your buddies" whenever you want with kids. Ben says he never even considered being a step dad until he was dating Amanda, a woman who has kids. Probably a good plan. I don't know many men who go around trying to find single moms to date so they can become dads right away. That's borderline creepy. Amanda breaks down talking to her mom, saying "I think I've been so focused on the kids because that's what happy families do." No, that's what good parents do. Also, for someone so focused on her kids, I was a little put off by her taking an upset Charlie to her crib, dropping her in there without a word and walking out to talk to Ben some more. I'm sure there's some study that says putting your kids in a room by themselves when they're hysterically crying is good for them, but it makes me uncomfortable.
Sibling Factor: Almost none. I think she had a sister, but she was pretty unremarkable. Not sure she even talked.
Hometown #2: Lauren (Portland, OR)
Pre-family visit activity: Walking around downtown Portland and eating at food carts. If I was going to give someone a tour of Portland, it'd probably include that. I approve. They end up a the whiskey library, something I've never heard of, but looks pretty cool. Lauren coos "I could sit in a room in total silence with Ben and be totally fulfilled." I think she forgot to mention that that room needs to be filled with a wall of whiskey bottles from floor to ceiling. Lauren also gets docked for offering up that Portland is the City of Roses but not being able to back up her claim when Ben asks where the roses are. I thought the Portland Rose Garden was prett y common knowledge. I guess not.
Family Visit Awkwardness Level: Having your hand graze someone's butt on the bus when it stops abruptly.
Really not too awkward at all. I was a little uncomfortable with the families insistence on calling her LoLo, as it's not a nickname that's ever been alluded to before on the show, and really, her going to by LoLo would've solved the four Lauren problem we had early on. In what would be a common theme, the parents want to know what it is about their daughter that Ben likes. Ben gives non-answers most of the time. I will give him credit for one thing: when Lauren's dad asks how Ben is handling meeting four families, he immediately answers "not well." It was probably the most real, honest answer anyone has ever given on this show.
Sibling Factor: Her sister was off the charts the star of this family. Before Ben and Lauren show up, she whines to her parents "If I brought a guy home after a month, you would have a lot of questions." Even better was the mom saying "well yeah, but that's you. This is our LoLo," as if Lauren's judgement is above reproach, but her sister could be prone to bringing home a pimp or drug dealer at any moment. There's a real sense of jealousy I got from her, as she tells Ben "my sister is pretty, smart, motivated, basically amazing....what do you see in her?" Ben starts crying. Lauren's sister is all too eager to console him with a hug, as if to say "if it doesn't work out.....call me." Bonus awkwardness in the final scene as the credits roll as her teenage brothers inquire about the fantasy suite. Ben says "I'll never put your sister in a position that would be demeaning to her." Dude, you can't talk about "positions" when referencing the fantasy suite. Guess the kinky stuff is out, Lauren.
Hometown #3: Caila (Hudson, OH)
Pre-family visit activity: A walk around her high school/college? I'm not sure what that was. This is followed by a trip to her dad's toy factory to makea playhouse. I thought this was fun and cool, but I seriously wonder what happens to that custom toy house if he picks someone else. It'd be so ABC to film it being dropped off at Caila's house as she returns home after being dumped.
Family Visit Awkwardness Level: Asking the woman next to you on a cross-country flight when she's due when she's not pregnant.
Caila's dad makes a big deal about how awesome it is to marry a Philippino, which just seems stereotypical. Nobody says "I hope you're ready to marry a Mexican, their families are awesome!" or "When you marry a white person, just know that they'll all act like they're super close, but really they just talk shit behind each other's backs, yet still demand everyone bend over backwards to make it to Easter dinner despite not going to church together since 1994." Caila has the emotional maturity of a twelve year old. She continually calls her mom "mommy" and gushes about how Ben is "the one." Where her dad told her to calm down and be pragmatic about this, her mom is like "girl you get downstairs, jump into his arms, wrap your legs around his waist and show him how much you love him!" Those Philippino women......
Sibling Factor: Nil. There's a brother, he says nothing.
Hometown #4: JoJo (Dallas, TX)
Pre-family visit activity: Talking about her ex-boyfriend. Chad conveniently has been stalking her house and waiting for her to return to give her flowers. Either that, or he's been buying a fresh bouquet of roses every day and placing them on her doorstep every day she's been gone. Given that the dude is trying to get back together whith her over the phone, I'd guess the first. He makes the very unconvincing argument of "baby, now that you're not around, I totally get how awesome it was to have you doing my laundry and making my food." She doesn't buy it, but she's clearly rattled. Ben is also put off....as apparently this has happened to him before. I can relate. One time in college, I met a girl through a mutual friend and we hit it off pretty well. She invited me to visit her over spring break at her college in California. I headed off on the ten hour drive, calling her before I left. She was stoked. I was stoked. Somewhere outside of Redding, I called again and left a message. By the time I arrived, something was clearly off. The next day she let me know that her ex had called while driving down and wanted another chance. She was considering it, and therefore offered to pay for my oil change and sent me on my way. Not the best spring break I ever had.
Family Visit Awkwardness Level:
Sibling factor: Holy mother of God. There's being protective of your sister, and then there's these guys. Their concern seemed less out of protection, and more out of some form of jealously that JoJo would rather sleep with Ben than them. The way they ran to hug her when she came through the door was weird, and it just got worse from there. JoJo's brothers and Catherine's (Sean's season) sisters would probably get along great. Ben was in the impossible situation of not being able to express how he really feels about JoJo while being told that they question his sincerity of feelings for their sister. Also, where the hell was JoJo while this was going on? Literally the entire family is there bagging on Ben, while she's doing what? Playing Xbox? Powdering her nose? I don't get it. I'd have told her her journey was over just for that.
Rose Ceremony
Dress Rankings
JoJo - snazzy red number. She looked good.
Lauren - Simple black dress. I also liked this.
Caila - Her emotional age might be 12, but that floral print looked like something on a 65 year old couch.
Amanda - Britney Spears called from 1999. She wants her dress back.
There was no build up at all, no drama. Amanda's the odd girl out. She handles it like a champ, not crying, not getting angry, just saying that she wished he hadn't made her drive out here to be sent home. She lives in LA right? How far did she really have to go? In any event, she left in such a way that Ben has to be wondering if he made the right decision. Did he make this based on the kids? Will he regret that later? Who knows. All we know is that he tells more than one girl he loves her next week. One time in college, my roommate invited two girls he liked to the same party at our house. They found out. I didn't go well. I'm sure Ben's strategy will go much better.
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