- Level playing fields. When there's only one girl or one guy, by the end of the season you're sick of hearing the same person say the same things over and over to different people. With multiple conversations between multiple people, there's a lot less chance of fatigue on the viewers part
- Nobody worries about being there for the right reasons. If a guy/girl doesn't like someone, then it's on to the next one. Thank God for that.
- The return of Michelle Money. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, has ever given better confessional interviews. She's the best.
- MIND GAMES. Everyone is just angling to stay around. If you don't have a connection with the Bachelor/ette, you can deceive him/her to keep you around, but in the end, you're going to end up on an altar with the choice of accepting it (think Emily Maynard accepting Brad's proposal and then dropping him before the rose ceremony, making you look crazy) or turning them down (think Brad again giving a rose to nobody, making him look callous). On this show, you just say your feelings changed and bang, you're hooking up with someone else next week. The possibilities are endless.
- New blood. I love the bringing in of a new person every week. It's almost like a tournament where the best teams get a bye. If you don't like any of the guys this week, just flirt with one enough to make him think you're in, then pounce on the fresh meat the next week. But what happens if you don't like the new guy either? DRAMA
BEST PRODUCER AWARD
To whichever person put together that brilliant scene where Claire let all her emotions out to a wayward raccoon, who probably wasn't even there. Great job, ABC.
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| You talkin' to me? |
BIGGEST A-HOLE
To Marcus. "HUH?" you say? Well, hear me out. Marcus' first interview on the show is about how he's still not over Andi. So much so, that he can't hang out with everyone else. In fact, he needs to be alone. In the water. Wearing an obnoxiously orange speedo. In plain view of everyone else. I used to play this game when I moved to a new school in seventh grade, Marcus. I'd get to the cafeteria as fast as possible at lunch so I could grab a table by myself and see who would come sit with me, so I'd know who my potential new friends were. It's basically saying "do you like me?" without having to sound desperate. The only difference is that we were fishing with different bait. I had bad acne and was socially awkward, and he has perfectly groomed body hair and eyes that ladies invent adjectives about. So of course some slightly drunk and horny coed is going to come over to say hello. You can't play the "I'm not in this fishing tournament, but I'm going to put my pole in anyways" game, Marcus. Then, he goes on a date with Sarah and makes out with her. Really looking lovesick, buddy. Then, when Lacy, who took your orange speedo bait, goes on a date with Robert, you get all "oh boo hoo, I'm getting my heart broken again!" and proceed to tell Sarah that you're into Lacy, but that she deserves a rose so you will give one to her. Translation: YOU HAVE ONE ARM AND YOU NEVER LET ANYONE FORGET IT AND I DON'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE I HATE PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES. ABC of course makes him give out his rose before Robert, and of course he forgets all about who deserves what and gives the rose to Tits McGee because he knows she's going to be easier to hook up with. Nobody's forgotten that the lie detector indicated you've slept with over twenty women, buddy. He's an A-Hole.
CRAZIEST
AshLee, and it's not even close. Somehow convincing herself that because she's there to hook up with Graham means he's there to hook up with her is insane. Want to know how crazy she is? She's so crazy that no other girl will even talk to Graham, Claire backed out of a date to calm her down, and Graham is so terrified he can't even think about handing a rose out to anyone else. She's next level crazy.
WORST ACTOR
Claire. Look, we all know by now that ABC directs these people to say certain things or give roses to certain people. The key is that the people need to deliver those lines in a way that looks like they weren't coached. Claire is terrible at this. When she was crying to that raccoon, she's looking directly at a cameraman. When she said "I don't even know what a vista is, but I'm looking at one!" She's got a twinkle in her eye that says "I know exactly what a vista is!" And nobody believes for a second that you had a dream of yourself standing on top of some ruins. I love that she's on the show because she's willing to do literally anything the producers ask her to, but at least sell it a little better.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
"She has this look like she's plotting how to kill you and your whole family, and it makes you feel like girl is going to lose it." Honorable mention go to Claire's "vista" statement, and Lacy suggesting that she's "80/40" on her decision, despite the fact that she has no decision to make since the guys are handing out the roses this week. In the end, it was Michelle's delivery of the crazy line that carried the day.
MOST COWARDLY ROSE
To Ben, who told Daniela and all the viewers that he just wanted to have fun and that he wasn't feeling a connection with anyone so he was going to pick the person who he would have the most fun with, yet when he's faced with picking Daniela or one-armed Sarah, he picks the biggest wet blanket in the history of reality television, and now we get to hear all next week from Sarah how she was really nervous that she wasn't going to get a rose and she didn't really know Ben was interested in her, so she is trying to fight the feeling that she only got the rose because of her missing arm. Even though that is probably the only reason she's still around. Thanks Ben.
I seriously can't wait for next week. After Andi's season, I thought I was out. But damned if ABC didn't do the damn thing with this show. I'm all in.
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