We start off with Nick worrying about Kaitlyn "having a connection" with Shawn. Is he seriously thinking there's a chance she doesn't? It's like he almost can't even comprehend that she might not accept his proposal. Nick's a bit of a conundrum to me, at times arrogant and brash, at times so sensitive you think he might cry if a kid drops their ice cream cone, at times just outright dastardly.
Kaitlyn's family is pretty mundane, with the exception of her sister, who, upon hearing that a guy from a previous season "showed up halfway through the season" reacts with the most over the top "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat???" this side of Chris Griffin:
She goes on to try to steal every scene she was in, joining the ranks of such greats as Desiree's brother and Ashley Hebert's sister (who even got on the After the Final Rose show that season!) Oh to be a sibling of a Bachelor/ette contestant! Nick starts crying when talking to Kaitlyn's mom, which I'm not sure if it's sweet or just creepy. Going from my only experience of asking someone if I could marry their daughter, there was no weeping. Mostly it was extreme panic and fear, and I was 90% sure they'd be cool with it. Crying was never an option.
Also, is it a Canadian thing to be so open with your family about who you banged and in what city? Why does every conversation seem to still revolve around them having sex in Dublin? Which, by the way, always reminds me of the scene in Hall Pass where they go to the bar. Even more astounding, is that Kaitlyn's mom brings this up when talking to SHAWN. "So I know you love my daughter and all, but how do you really feel about her having sex with Nick?" Why would a mother ever ask this? I just don't get it.
The dates are pretty standard "final countdown dates" and the only significant thing is the gifts that the guys give Kaitlyn. Nick offers up a framed poem that is filled with really bad similies like "your lips are like electricity, when I kiss them I can feel your energy." I get that with these sort of things it's the though that counts, but c'mon man, you should've thought about giving her something else that didn't require you writing that crap. Also, he mispelled energy. There are some things (like social media posts, and for sure this blog) where spell checking and proofreading aren't vital. There are other things, like job resumes, investigative journalism pieces, and LOVE LETTERS, that you better know every pen stroke or character typed is accurate. C'mon son.
That's not to say that Shawn came up with a better gift. He basically just emptied his pockets after every date into a jar and then gave it to her. "Oh look, I still have a tee from golf in my pocket! Into the junk jar you go!" Again, I guess when the alternative is throwing all that stuff away, it does require at least a modicum of reflection on your journey together, but wow. Kaitlyn, of course loves it. "We have so many memories together it's like....we've got more memories than people who have been together a whole year!" This is of course a blatantly false statement. You just have better souveniers. Not everyone gets to go on helicopter rides and trips to Ireland and meet Amy Schumer in the first 12 months of a relationship, toots.
Also, before I forget, Kaitlyn has gotten more and more plastic looking as the season has gone on. I swear her lips have gotten poutier and her skin has gotten more orange with every episode. I keep forgetting to mention this.
Anyways, Nick shows up, gets dumped, and then gets all angry with her for not loving him. Kaitlyn says that she "needed all that time" with Nick to......and then she trails off, so I'll finish for her. "to realize I liked someone else better?" She did not think that through. She should've just ended it with "in the end, my love for Shawn was stronger, and I'm sorry to put you through all this." Of course then we wouldn't have got his little hissy fit "it was bigger than just a moment to me" rant.
Shawn wins, as we all find out that Kaitlyn really did mean that Shawn was "the one" when she snuck into his room, and all that back tracking and pretending to care for Ben "the human cardboard cutout" H. was episode filler. After the Final Rose reveals nothing much other than Nick dragged his family to his reality tv funeral and Shawn really does hate Nick, but it's more of a "a lion does not concern himself with the thoughts of sheep" kind of hate than it is a burning, intense "I must destroy him" kind of hate. Also, they like coffee and donuts. That's it.
Ok bring on the real emotional people of Bachelor in Paradise. That's where all the fun is anyways.
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