Lasselle Christmas Travel: Amtrak Version

Day 1

Well, the Great Lasselle Train Trip of 2015 is underway! I’ve been looking forward to this for a while.  Last week I was talking to my 97 year old grandmother about taking the train, and she told me some stories about her experiences riding the train cross country in the 1940’s, and it was cool to think about doing something in almost the same manner it was done 75 years ago.  It really started last night, with an epic packing session.  Trains (unlike planes) don’t charge you per bag.  You are allowed two checked bags AND two personal items.  Impressive!  Only problem is packing all that luggage around.  Rachel did some research and discovered that our stop (the station in Wisconsin Dells) doesn’t offer baggage service, meaning all of our luggage would have to be of the carry-on variety.  The website wasn’t entirely clear if this meant we needed to use smaller suitcases or not, so I called the 800 number.  Amtrak has an automated helper named “Julie” that is not helpful at all.  Though she never gives you an option to “speak to an agent” I asked her to anyways.  I was promptly put on hold and then had a lovely conversation with a woman named Louise.  Louise reminded me of Smash Williams' mom from Friday Night Lights.  She was super sassy and also very helpful.  When I asked about differences in carry-on vs. checked bags, she said “Sir we are not the airlines – a bag is a bag!”  When I told her this was our first trip, she then gave me a few more helpful tips, most importantly that trains are made of metal, and as such they get cold when the lights go down.  Also, pillows and blankets don’t count against your personal items limit.  I thought about asking her if it was ok then to put said pillows and blankets in a bag, but decided better of it.  Besides, our carry-on count was 3 (I actually measured our bags for the first time in my life to make sure they would fit) and our personal item count was 6, so we had a bag or two to play with.  Why six personal bags do you ask?  Well, because you can bring food!  We had a cooler full of sandwiches and snacks and another bag with popcorn and granola bars.  The goal was to make it through this 40-hour ordeal without buying all our meals in an overpriced dining car.  Once everything was packed and Rachel’s double sided checklist was all checked off, we headed to sleep, excited to head to Portland for our first train trip as a family!

After an early Christmas at my mom’s house, we made it to Union Station in Portland about an hour or so before our scheduled time of departure (4:45 pm). As we pulled into the station, we passed by a rather large homeless camp that was set up on the street.  The kids seemed a little confused why people were camping out for trains. 

Look how happy we were!

Turns out, we almost camped out ourselves.

The first thing Jonah did when we got into the station was try to find Platform 9 ¾.  He valiantly slammed into a wall, with predictable results.  I wish I had a video of it, but he did it too fast, and I couldn't get him to try again.  At 4:15, we made our way to the train conductor to get checked in.  She told us to go to ignore the people going to Gate 6 (our scheduled gate) and head to Gate 7.  That’s because they send families to a “special gate” so that we can board first and ensure we all get seats together.  She then told us to “get comfortable” because it was going to be an hour before we boarded.  Portland is the endpoint of the Empire Builder train route, so I thought it was a little weird that the train would be delayed before anyone even got on.  No matter, a half an hour wasn’t going to be that big of a deal.

The kids were not thrilled with the delay.  Jonah wrote in his journal about how dumb the train was.

It was closer to four and a half hours before we boarded.  Train gates are not like plane gates.  There’s minimal seating, and everyone else is left to fend for themselves on hard, cold concrete.  Jocelyn fashioned herself a bed on an old timey luggage cart. Rachel, who hadn’t been feeling well all day, really went downhill and curled into the fetal position on the ground, surrounded by our bags.  Around 6:30, they let us know the train engine was having issues, and there was no timetable for our departure.  Around 7:00, they brought us all snacks and water.  The snack bags consisted of some raspberry shortbread cookies, generic goldfish crackers, and a blue shiny bag that said “snack du jour” on it.  I was really excited to see what the mystery snack was.  It turned out to be almonds. (Insert Sad Trombone Music Here). Finally, around 8:30, a replacement engine was hooked up. We boarded our train and were off!

See if you can find Rachel in the picture on the left.  Jocie's makeshift bed on the right.

Once we figured out where to stash our luggage and found our seats, we settled in to our new home for the next 40 hours or so.  Jocelyn made friends with the boy sitting in front of her, a kid named Henry who was about her age.  They discussed their favorite colors, if they thought spies were on the train, and if the large building with all the windows we passed was a hotel or not.  It was a warehouse at the Port of Portland. 

While a four hour delay is not ideal, so far I’m really digging the train over plane thing.  A few of the pro-train arguments thus far:

• Shorter check-in time - From curb to gate, it took us roughly fifteen minutes.  There’s no security check points, no putting your bags on conveyor belts, no showing your ID to anyone…none of that mess.  The station is small enough you don’t feel like you’re walking halfway to your final destination just to find your gate.  You could say that the drawback to this is that there is much less security: No bags were scanned, no IDs checked. 
• Friendlier people - This goes for staff as well as other passengers.  Louise was one of the more delightful customer service reps I’ve ever talked to.  The lady who scanned our tickets also gave us a few train trips.  Everyone in line to check-in was chatting each other up, talking about how often they rode the train and where they were going.  A guy with a service dog was going to Minot, North Dakota.  An elderly lady was heading to Winona, Minnesota.  A younger girl was just out of some service organization like Americorps or something, and was heading to Minneapolis, Minnesota.  Jocelyn’s friend Henry was heading to Chicago.  Also, nobody seemed too bummed out about the delay.  Sure, we were all a little annoyed, but nobody started yelling about how horrible Amtrak was and how it they were ruining Christmas.  A group of hipsters broke out a hacky sack to pass the time, then used some Bluetooth speakers to have a dance party to some Bruno Mars.  Seemed an un-hipsterish choice of music, but maybe they were trying to be ironic.  Henry’s mom sang some song about aquatic animals that included wild hand motions, which drew polite applause from the other passengers.  When Jonah was having trouble locating a pen to write in his journal, a man quickly dug into his bag and handed it over to Jonah with a smile.  I love train people.
• Space - OH MY GOD THE SEATS.  They’re essentially recliners with a little less padding.  Leg room for days.  Every seat reclines to about 45 degrees, leg rests come up, tray tables extend back to you.  It’s incredibly more comfortable than a plane, and there’s no middle seats….just windows and aisles. 
• Connectivity - Allegedly, this train has wifi, but I haven’t been able to make it work yet.  I was hoping to post this blog from the train, but it might have to wait until we get ot our destination.  Also, there’s an elecrical plug for every seat, so all your devices can stay fully charged. 

So it was a first day with some good and some bad, but it ended on a high note.  Initially, we were due to hit Glacier National Park just about the time the sun comes up tomorrow, and I’m pretty excited to see that.  May be closer to lunch time before we actually make it, but that’s life on the train I guess.  Things just move a little slower.

Day 2

Our first (and only) full day on the train.  First off, all those people who told us trains were cold are dirty liars.  I went to bed under a blanket wearing a sweatshirt anticipating arctic conditions.  By morning I was in a t-shirt and there were a pile of blankets on the floor.  While the seats are spacious for sitting in, they’re not quite large enough for a 6’2, 250lb. individual to sleep comfortably.  If you are of these dimensions, I’d recommend dropping fifty or so pounds.  Although there was a guy who had to be about 6’4 and 350 who had no problem sleeping behind me, so maybe I shouldn’t complain. 

While train travel lends itself to sleeping (what else are you going to do?), the wake up calls start at 6:30 local time.  That’s when they start announcing the next stop on the line, and also let you know that the dining car is open and ready to accept hungry passengers.  Trains also don’t let you sleep in:  they stop serving breakfast at 9:30.  There’s also a lounge car, which I haven’t yet visited, but serves booze and fast food from what I can gather.  Sort of like the saddest convenience store you can imagine.  Also the lady who runs the lounge car comes on the PA system to let you know when she’s closing the lounge car so she can eat.  It seems sort of crazy to me that they don’t just have someone fill in for her for half an hour while she eats, but whatever. 

The PA system is a constant source of amusement on this train.  Trains may be an outdated mode of transportation these days, but it doesn’t seem to affect the moods of the people working.  Sometime early afternoon, a guy came on the PA to let us know the bathrooms in our car were being cleaned, and to please hold off on using them until he was done.  It’s not a big deal to head one car over and use their bathrooms anyways. A little later, he comes back on to let us know that the bathrooms were cleaned.  “To those of you who waited until I was done cleaning, I thank you,” he said.  “To those that came down here anyways, shame on you for not listening to the announcements.”  I found that pretty amusing.

To pass the time, we watched a few movies on the computer.  Turns out that the free wifi was a myth, and doesn’t exist on the Empire Builder line.  I suppose this makes sense, given that this train travels through some of the most remote parts of the country.   There were large portions of the day where my phone said “no service,”  so definitely download any movies onto your laptop/devices before you get on a long distance train.  The remoteness of the area is phenomenal though, and Jonah and I spent some time just hanging out in the observation lounge, which is pretty awesome.  It’s got much larger windows, and the chairs face outward.  As we traveled through Western Montana, Jonah and I marveled at the snow-covered trees along the river.  Jonah even saw a few deer running across a field, which was pretty neat.  Rachel commented that it was “pretty awesome to see a part of the country inaccessible by cars."  I hadn’t thought of it in those terms, but she was absolutely right. 

The highlight of the trip from a scenery standpoint was definitely Glacier National Park.  While you don’t see any actual glaciers (unless they were on the opposite side of the train while I was looking out my window), it was still beautiful.  I hope to get the chance to go back and spend more time there, rather than just passing through. 

Once we were through the park and on the eastern side of the Rocky Mountains, the views were a little less spectacular.  No hills, no trees, hardly any snow.  As we made our way through Montana and into North Dakota, it was almost as if I could see the country getting older the further we moved East.  I’m reading a book about a guy who took a covered wagon across the Oregon Trail with his brother about ten years ago, and it wasn’t hard to imagine the Northern plains country looking much different 160 years ago than it does today. 

The afternoon wore on slightly, and the kids started to get a little restless.  Jonah may have caught whatever Rachel was just starting to get over, as he spent a good portion of the afternoon sleeping.  Jocelyn kept asking what else there was to do, until she too succumbed to the boredom and took a nap.  Earlier in the afternoon, a conductor had come through the cars taking reservations for dinner in the dining car.  Reservations started at 5:00.  By the time she got to our car (we were in the second car from the rear), the earliest dinner slot available was 9:00.  Between her taking reservations and eating time, we passed from the Mountain time zone into the Central time zone, meaning we wouldn’t be eating until 10pm local time.  We opted for the lounge car, which served microwaveable cheeseburgers and personal pizzas.  The pizzas are nothing special, but they cost about the same as a large at Papa Murphy’s. 

Day 3

Sleeping on the train the second night was a little easier – I slept for close to six hours straight, only waking up once briefly to check the time.  The first night, I think I got maybe four hours, all in one-hour increments.  The train does seem to be making up time, as we are pulling into stations about two hours behind schedule – pretty good considering we were four hours late from the start.  The conductors kept harping on this, saying "if this isn't your stop, please stay in your seats."  On the last stop before ours, somebody actually didn't move fast enough and missed their opportunity to get off the train and had to ride forty minutes down the line to the Dells before they could get off.  The conductor made sure to tell everyone.  It's like the Hunger Games on Amtrak....they're looking to make an example of any malcontents.  Despite this, I only heard one person complain the entire trip - a lady who was upset at how far her sleeper car was from the dining car.  She was on her phone loudly complaining to someone: "You know how I frickin' can't walk more than 30 feet before I want to frickin' pass out?  Well my sleeper is five frickin' cars away from the food!" Probably was the most exercise she'd done in months.  By the time we pulled into Wisconsin Dells, we were only about an hour and fifteen minutes behind schedule.  Just a short day remaining as we just rolled past the University of Minnesota’s football stadium, where the Beavers play in about ten months or so.  Maybe a second train trip of the year? The kids were restless, asking almost from the time they woke up if we were there yet.  The kids got a little squirrelly, but when compared to some of the other kids on the train, they were pretty well behaved.  About two hours out, I was able to convince the kids to watch a movie (Space Jam - for the third time) and that brought us home.  Rachel's dad was there to greet us at the station and we promptly capped our trip with a celebratory trip to Culvers.  

Happy Holidays everyone!