You're not like other guys

Five simple words that mean so many different things to so many different people. While it's typically meant as a compliment, what the guy usually hears is "You're really nice, but I have no interest in dating you." I'm sure it works the same way for "You're not like other girls," but nobody's ever said that to me, so I can't really speak on it firsthand.


Rachel and I had a pretty in depth conversation about "You're not like other guys" (which I will shorten to YNLOG from here on out) on the way home from the coast yesterday. I was stating my case that nearly every girl that told me YNLOG was currently dating some guy they were upset with and was venting to me. In many of these cases, I had some sort of romantic interest in the girl and was wondering why in the heck she was dating the other guy and not me. Rachel claimed that it usually had nothing to do with dating, etc. and was a compliment.

In college, I think I was only told YNLOG once, and in that case, it probably would've led to a romantic encounter had my roommate drunkenly fallen over her couch and made inappropriate advances towards her roommate. I had to get him out of there prior to finding out what exactly YNLOG meant. The next day I went home for Xmas break, and by the time we reconvened for winter term, said girl was dating some guy from California whose parents owned a winery or some crap. He was apparently NLOG either. Whatever. I'm not bitter.

Rachel claims that most "good" girls date douchebags in high school out of some sort of crazy primal instinct. It's almost like you have to date the wrong guys in order to figure out what the right guy should be like, even if you have an idea in your head already. Rachel further went on to say that guys that hear YNLOG in high school end up getting their pick of the ladies down the road in their mid to late 20's. She might be right. I can't speak from personal experience because I decided to marry the first girl I dated after college. I guess all those YNLOG comments through my formative years convinced me that I should hop on the first train leaving singletown.

(I make jokes, but given my choice of 100 random girls, Rachel would still be my choice, I'm 100% sure of that)

After having this conversation with Rachel, I've come to a few conclusions:

1. I probably dismissed the YNLOG comment too quickly. While I figured that automatically meant the girl didn't want to date me BECAUSE I wasn't like other guys. In all actuality, she probably didn't want to date me because I was kind of socially awkward, had bad skin, and was seriously lacking in confidence.

2. When a girl says something like that, as a guy you should probably follow up on that conversation. Figure out if it is in fact a good thing or a bad thing, and use it as a way to suggest maybe she should pursue dating someone who is NLOG. Again, I never did this because I was under the belief if a girl REALLY liked me, she'd take action. Turns out being a passive wimp isn't a good plan to get chicks. Go figure.

3. As always, my wife usually has a better handle on a situation than I do. I should defer to her before making a decision in almost every situation.