Last night was pretty quiet around Hickory Hills. Jonah, who decided against an afternoon nap, passed out around six thirty and slept straight through the night until seven this morning. That allowed Rachel and I to get our Insanity on. Well, Rachel got her Insanity on. I was doubled over by the couch, trying not to dry heave. In high school, I once ran a six minute mile fifteen minutes after finishing a supersized double quarter pounder meal at McDonalds. Yesterday, the chicken mango sausages I had for lunch were still affecting my performance six hours later. Salads and PB&J for lunch for me for the forseeable future. I gave myself an F for last night's workout. Have to pick it up tonight, especially because tonight's workout is titled "Pure Cardio" and it just about put me in a coma on Saturday.
Anyways, I also ended up watching two episodes of Melissa and Joey on ABC Family, starring Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence. Watching it is almost like going back in time about 17 years. The show comedy style is exactly like a TGIF show from the early 90's.......a non-traditional family struggles with everyday life issues by zinging each other with lame one-liners and catch phrases. The only difference is that the jokes are much racier in nature. There were jokes about 15 year old drinking, penis size (Joey says something about needing to get his "inches" back during a TV discussion), and a whole lot of "Melissa needs to get laid" references. Really, I had to watch just because of MJH. She was one of the original members of my "five celebrities I get a free pass to hook up with" list, joining Alyssa Milano, Lila McCann, Elisa Donovan, and a pre "trashy as I wanna be" Christina Aguilera around 1999. To be honest, it was kind of nice to watch a show that didn't require you to watch the previous episode to know what was going on, and really didn't require you to pay attention. TV watching has become increasingly cerebral, where even comedies such as How I Met Your Mother refer to a five minute segment from three seasons ago during episodes, which can confuse even people who have all the seasons on DVD.
Around 8:30 Rachel called it a night, leaving me with about three hours of time to kill before I was tired. This is about the time that my night turned into an episode of crummy comedy show. About 9pm, I'm watching and episode of Lost when I hear bagpipe music. At first I thought it was part of the show...some obscure reference to something that only super-geeks would pick up on. I paused the show, but the bag piping continued. Trying to figure out where it was coming from, I went to the front window and looked up and down the street to see if I could find the kilted madman who was wailing away. Then, and suddenly as it began, the eerie wail of the pipes is gone. As my eyes scan back down the street, a light comes on at the neighbors house, and I can see a silhouette of a woman fresh out of the shower toweling off through the white window shade of her window. Here I am peeking through the blinds of my house like some sort of pervert. The only thing missing at this point was Rachel walking silently up behind me and asking me what the hell I was doing, as I get all flustered, grabbing the blinds and pulling them off the window as I crumple to the ground to the sound of canned laughter while saying "it's not what you think! There was a bagpiper!" If that's not a scene from an episode of a prime time sitcom from the '90's, I don't know what is.
Also, I need to give myself a big pat on the back for finally back loading every blog post I've ever written into this blog. You can now read about the past six and half years or so of my life. Some of it's good, most of it is crap, but enjoy. And please don't hold something I may have said five years ago against me. There's a statute of limitations on blog banter. My only regret is that I didn't start this blogging thing when I first got to college. The writing would've been much worse, but the stories would've been much better. My real hope is that someday Jonah (and any future children of mine) will someday be interested in what my life was like before they were born and want to read this. Or maybe my grandkids, if the Internet is still around at that point.
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